I’ve slept maybe 3 hours. I’ve thought all night about subjectivity and relativity. About vibrance and frailty. About the fading nature of seemingly pinnacle pursuits and how very much I’ve grown as a human and am growing. I have undergone major paradigm shifts in the last 3 years or so and pain and sorrow have been the catalysts for all of them. My philosophy about the human experience has always been a circumspect one. But there has been an added robustness to my circumspection over the last few years. I have shed and shed and shed old skin to the point that I often feel raw and vulnerable and uncertain if I have the toughness that comes with older skin to endure my journey onward.
But I truly understand now that while tough skin may feel more comfortable as it is harder to the elements it is also the epitome of an attempt to constrain something that is boundless and infinite in nature and that is my inner world. My inner self.
What a walking contradiction we each are.
The way our brains interpret the world around us and cobble together a conscious reality is fascinating, beautiful and brute all at the same time. We will only ever possess a fragmented reality at best. You will never fully know me and I will never fully know you. But blessed are they who journey inwardly. In as much that we might better know ourselves and grasp at the shadows and light that we all have within us with unashamed and unapologetic courage and tenacity.
It’s not enough to know yourself in your most basic survivalistic form. In fact if that’s all you ever know it’s a smack in the face and an insult to your purpose and your fleeting time in service to your fellow humans.
There is so much more to you….than the you that you currently know. There is an entire ether that lies below your skin and in between every cell in your body.
You are worth the discovery. And if you are not trekking through the no man’s land of your inner world, your shadow lands and exploring the brilliant multi-faceted and multi-dimensional landscapes of your soul then you are missing out on one of the most mysterious wonders of this world.
Today I call you to rise. You are capable of greater. You are inherently expansive. You are on this planet at this time for a grand reason. Find it. And once you find it….pursue it, hone it, experiment feeling in advance all the potential emotions that would accompany it.
Our emotions are not truths in and of themselves. But they are wonderful devices for alchemizing pain. And that alchemy can lead us to places where we continually set and achieve higher goals. Goals with ends that cannot be contained within fading contexts and ever changing realities.
There is more. There is so much more for you and to you.
In our current culture we are so set on analyzing every word, every movement and nuance we pick up on in someone else.
It is time to turn our gaze inward and realize that time spent analyzing someone would be better spent knowing yourself.
I urge you to pay attention to how much time you spend sizing others up and trying to determine who you think they are (because you will never actually know that) versus how much time you spend trying to discover parts of yourself that have lied dormant and neglected because you’ve invested so much time and energy determining why you should either demonize or saint someone outside yourself.
The Catalyst 
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