It is 1:35 am and I am still working, ha ha. But, I have Nessi Gomez, “Into The Earth” (LIVE). My sweet little Tamber is asleep at the bottom left of the bed. My fairy lights are glowing. I had a closing today (Cozett Dunn with Lynn Real Estate)
The owner of India Mahal Restaurant kindly gave me a 20% discount gas card to Circle K! Total #randomactofkindness. I highly recommend this restaurant btw. They have been in my top 3 favorite restaurants of all my time in #Chattanooga.
I miss Talia Grace. I talked to her and sang to her a while ago when I took a break. I prayed and cried asking if she could hear me or see me. I walked back into my bedroom a grateful woman as I surveyed my room. My cat, my earthy music, golden lights adorning my wrought iron head board. A business that is finally picking up again (this alone is enough for me to have a good cry about because I may have a chance to feel secure for more than 3 weeks out of 3 months (no exaggeration).
I should finish my year strong. Potentially stronger than I ever have…we will see.
I’m learning to focus. And I have learned to be more in control of my boundaries. If this alone was the ONLY thing that was hard for me during this season of sorrows it would have been more than enough for me to chew on because about 2 weeks ago I cleared house. I severed relationships and pissed people off who wanted to smother and control me. Oh well. Geez.
At any rate, if only in these moments I find peace with none to find again for a few more days….I believe it is powerful enough and a much better feel emotionally speaking than I have had in… I literally cannot even remember when…that’s interesting. Stream of thought in process apparently. How about we both read this entry? It’s good enough.
I am thankful. Grateful and relieved that I am still able to feel the emotions of gratitude and relief. I need to soak into the emotions of robust, heart swelling, chest beating gratitude. Marinade in the sun of relief after dwelling in the dark of the soul.
In these moments I am free and though they be 20 minutes or so the quality of those 20 minutes was very rich and interrupted what is likely by now a negative neural loop or something.
In the quiet home of a single introvert. Sensible cat lady (though sensible may actually not be an accurate descriptor in light of the season I am in.) I assure you actually, now as I think of it, my cat Tamber thought I was crazy a few nights ago when I was trying to get her out from underneath the bed.
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da………………………………………………
Cozett
Oh, Whitney Houston is now playing. She’s singing, “All the man I need.” Remember that one?? How long has it been since you heard it? Leave a comment if that’s possible on here, ha ha. I miss Whitney as well. Wow. This whole writing started and ended with missing my cat and Whitney Houston. Pain and nostalgia. What does that mean? Whitney Houston was epic. Epic is an understatement.
The Catalyst 
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