Self-Inquiry And Justice: What Can It Mean?

During meditation I felt prompted to do some self-inquiry. But, I really couldn’t think of what to ask myself. I felt I should sit in stillness and allow a question to come to me. “What is the strongest thing inside me?”

I actually felt a bit startled because it came out of nowhere and hasn’t been a subject I’ve explored thus far.

I honestly felt a tiny tiny bit of nervousness and awkwardness at the thought of asking myself this question. Kind of afraid of the answer to be honest.

But, after a few moments…I did just that. I allowed myself to feel the nervousness while remaining courageously open to whatever answers came up in me.

And to my surprise? This was my answer:

“My sense of justice.”

I have just experienced so much personal growth and thought perhaps there would be a bit of a lull between this growth streak and the next…but I guess not.

I truly sense with ALL of my being…a MAJOR shift is happening for me. I’ve felt it coming for so long but now there’s this feeling of, “an arrival vibe.”

If I was going by sight or my current experience there is zero way I would allow myself to feel….the anticipation of something potentially great building.

Who knows. Maybe just daydreaming. But, in this moment I choose to go with my gut. This time I’m aligning with my own intuition rather than counting myself out or discounting myself.

I’m about to discover and uncover what this means in my life. It’s gonna be interesting because as of right now, off the top-of-my-head, I got nothing.

My sense of ⚖️ justice is about to receive a major awakening. I think I’m about to see some things differently or at least better.

What about you? Any new revelations or discoveries you’ve made about yourself recently? If so, how do you feel about it?

Authentic…Unto Death

Sitting here in the dark, dimly lit bedroom I’ll soon never sleep in again. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes sitting with my chunky headphones on listening to, “Return to Innocence” by Enigma on repeat and watching Talia sleep.  I’m still processing the last 24 hours when she became suddenly blind.  If the past 3 years have taught me anything it is to slow down and spend prolonged time taking in the people, animals, and good memories made.

I stink, I’m sweaty and not even gonna shower before I fall asleep.  But, my Talia…she’s blind.  And, now I finally realize and regret my own blindness.  I’ve allowed everything and everyone to get in the way of me living my life in a more rooted way.  A more earthy way.  That’s all we really have you know?

A few years ago I read a web article about pet euthanasia.  The majority of pets who experience euthanasia do so in the company of the techs and vet and staff because it’s so hurtful to see your fur baby/child to transition in front of you.  And, that was absolutely my mindset.  But, a few techs and vets weighed in and offered an alternative perspective on pet euthanasia.   They all stated that while they completely understand why pet owners don’t want to be there to witness the event and that they will always respect people’s grief process,  they long to see more pet owners be present.  Pets have a very small circle of family and friends.  In the short span of their lives they will live in a home with family and friends who come and go.  So they may only know maybe 10 people give or take for their entire lives.  They never get a break from us, haha.  But, the thing is they never feel smothered and if it was possible they would stay within our shadow and by our sides every single second for a millenia.  Their love and devotion is bottomless, untiring, ever cheerful, ever patient, ever thrilled to hear our voice, see our face, smell our scent.  Whether it’s the first time they sniff you or the millionth time their enthusiasm never diminishes or fades, it only brings their hearts that much closer to ours.   They only ever love us more every day they’re alive.

When I read this a light went off.  Talia loves me with everything in her.  You can literally feel her love energy.  And while I am her #1 favorite human she’s like this about any human she’s ever met.  Instantly warm, curious, and gentle hoping for some affection and a new friendship.  She has never been scared of anything.  Loud sounds, thunder storms, shrieks of little ones playing or crying.

In fact when it thunderstorms sometimes she and I go out on the porch and I sit her in my lap and we watch the lightning and feel the rain spray in gently and coolly upon our bodies and faces.  When it lightnings I can see the spray on her fur and it looks like dew.

She intently looked up at the sky and followed the lightning streaks with her eyes.  Sniffing the wind occasionally for some wild scents.  Never flinching, squirming, or tense.  Relaxed, intrigued, longing to see what it would feel like up in the sky above her.  She is such a brave old girl.  Car rides?  She loves them.  Going for a walk on a leash?  Yes, please.

My constant companion whom has shown me much greater and deeper love than the majority of humans who have been in my life. 

Because of this I resolved that when the day comes if I am able to have any forewarning of her passing I will hold her in my arms and sing her her favorite lullabys.  I’ve reworded I don’t know how many songs to include her name and take her beautiful gentle life into adventure stories, sleepy time songs, and of course my doting love songs over my precious cat.  I will stay by her side just like she has mine.  My arms, hands, scent and voice, touch, body warmth and love….as much love as any human could ever possibly hold…my love for her will be the last experience she has here.  She never left my side and I’ll never leave hers either.  Ever.  I’ll be holding her and kissing her little knobby head and singing to her until she’s in the arms of the angels. 

Her gentleness is like her own cottony fur.  So tender and soft you can hardly even feel it touching your skin.  She’s so tiny.  At the time of this writing she weighs about 6 lbs.  She’s a bit underweight even though she’s small.   I’m not entirely sure what breeds she’s made from but she has a tortoise siamese colored coat and deep, dark blue eyes (that now look a bit purple in her blindness).  And she’s very short, low to the ground, haha.  And her little tail is short.  She’s built like a munchkin but has the coat and eyes of a Siamese.

Her little multi-colored paws look like they are ringed in caramel.  And she loves belly rubs.  And 99% of the time doesn’t attack my hand.  That 1% though….she’s got a streak.  I guess if she didn’t she wouldn’t have been able to put up with mine and Margo Holder s crap all these years, hahaha.  Margo often says that Talia is her spirit animal and believe me when I say, she is not wrong.

At any rate, beyond all of this the last 24 hours of her going suddenly completely blind has opened my eyes to something I’ve decided I want to do that will likely seem odd to more people than not.  But, that’s how I roll anyway.

I have deep regrets about not spending as much time with my family and friends as I’d like to.  I’ve allowed life to get in the way.  And if I allow life to be a stumbling block…what will that mean at death?

For many years now I’ve casually researched death doulas.  Most people don’t even know what a doula is much less a death doula.  Now, I’m not saying I want to be or am going to be a death doula by profession.  But, there are some facets of their work that I am going to implement where it’s appropriate and of course permissible.

I have decided that I want my heart to break wide open and hold my family and friends in my arms as they transition so that it is my hands, my arms, my energy, my truest and deepest love for them to be what they are enveloped in as they transition.

I’ve always been a lover.  A hugger…to the point of extreme and strange awkwardness. 

But,  how can I apologize for that?  And, for what reason should I reign it in?  Covid-19 wiped millions of people off this planet in the blink of an eye comparatively speaking.  And, not just Covid, but wars, disasters, political rhetoric that has risen to the point that brother is against brother.  I long for the day to see field upon field joined to pastures and woodlands filled with a great many more plowshares.  As it is, sheaths clamor and tremble longing for the bloodied blades to return again for fear of being found guilty before God as being accomplices.

Blood is crying out from the ground but we can’t hear it because the main stream has become the main scream and their volume has driven us to deafness.  Our ears dull and listening unskilled.  Our mouths boastful, arrogant and insisting on our own rights, or beliefs to be looked at as the pinnacle of truth even if it means the death of another human who doesn’t agree.

No.  This world isn’t for me.  So, from this point forward I’m going my own way.  I’m about to do everything in my life the weirdest and most unconventional way as possible. 

Life is valuable.  It is precious.  Sacred. Holy in its own right.  How could I betray it by living anything less than 1000% authentically to who I am, to what my level and intensity of love is like, to cleave to my own philosophies formed circumspectly and carefully?  How could I ever be ok with exchanging even the weirdest things about me in lieu of making myself more acceptable?   Life is too short for that.  It’s too brilliantly faceted for that.  I am committed to being my different self no matter what that looks like or who it may trouble.   Doing death differently…addressing the deeper, intangible components of dying and watching life transform as its vehicle weakens…is when you know you’re a catalyst and have just changed your own trajectory.  Forever.  I will never be the same after these last 3 years and it took my dear Talia’s blindness to open my eyes to the truth that it is in fact how life should be lived so that when we settle into the arms of death we will embrace it regretless and with the sense of an old dear friend who has come to pay a visit. 

I am different.  Unto death.

My desire is to be the most open, accepting, loving, heart-centered person you know.   And, if I can be that then don’t thank me or give me any accolades.  Thank Margo Holder, my mamaw, my nieces and nephews, my parents, my brothers, and my intimate friends.  Because it is them who have shaped me and shown me how weird love is, how unconditional it can feel, and the powerful relief it offers when you’re in the worst pain of your life.  We aren’t perfect.  None of us are.  And far be it from me to close my mind and heart to this human experience.

We are all walking miracles. Our pets included.

Silent Retreat Please

As I’m lying here with heavy eyes I find myself longing to escape to some prolonged silent retreat. It’s a soul’s longing. Deep. Not quite guttural but definitely gritty.

At this time I feel like I want to take a solid 90 days in silence. No TV, phone, etc. Just me and the void. I feel like unless I can get into this kind of setting I’m always going to feel void on the inside. Like I have to create a larger more spacious void outside of the smaller void that is within me. It seems a larger and exterior void would be able to absorb the void within me…and essentially rid me of it that I might be truly whole for the first time in my life.

I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for. But, it’s because I’ve been in either 1 of 2 states nearly the entirety of my life thus far. 1. Panic 2. Numbness. Fluctuating between the two. The strain to be in such constant states while fighting with everything you have on the inside to stop feeling the panic and then admonishing myself for being numb. Ugh. Like my soul was acidic.

I just feel this need to detach and reflect and just be quiet. For a very long time.

Love,

Cozett

Cozett’s Crossroads

I have come to a major crossroads in my life. Typically my writing is a bit more metaphoric and maybe verbose. But, this. This is a thought dump.

I’m to a place where I need to discover what can make my life enjoyable outside of spirituality and sexuality. Those two things have been basically who I am my entire life. I’ve always loved, eat, slept, breathed, drank and spent thousands upon thousands of dollars into learning more about both. These two facets of most people’s lives even though so common are so much more energetically complex than the majority of people care to think about.

But, it’s these two things that have caused me the most pain, confusion, division, and mental health issues for me. I’m not going to go into the reasons why as the explanations are lengthy. But, will touch on them lightly as necessary to make this entry as coherent and cohesive as possible.

An admittance of one of my major flaws is that unless a subject, experience, encounter, or conversation is “deep” then it leaves me feeling empty and disconnected. Obviously, it’s too intense to be that way all the time for most people and maybe that’s why fatigue is an issue for me.

At any rate, I am here trying to reimagine my life sans spirituality and sans romantic/sexual interactions. I really don’t know who I am apart from these two things. So, I guess that means I’m getting ready to mourn the parts of myself that I always hoped would be the parts to experience the depth and breadth and richness this planet can offer the most.

I’ve never been a parent so I don’t have kids that I have to live for. That’s a big thing for most people. I have two cats that are the best pets ever so that brings me a great deal of comfort and joy. The type of work that I love to do I can’t do due to lack of education and competition. So, I don’t love my job.

Travel. I guess maybe that’s the next big thing for me? We shall see. But, even that has always held a spiritual quality for me. I suppose I could shift it to where I could feel it more poetically than spiritually.

More later.

Cheers,

Cozett Dunn

The Rainstorm: You’ve Come Too Far To Turn Back

I was walking when the day turned into night

The sun seemed to give way without a fight

I expected light to fill my path

I’d already dealt with the aftermath

The gravels that crunched beneath my well-shod feet sounded like firecrackers on the 4th of July

I had already been walking quite some way when I got caught without a shred of day

My compass which had proven to be quite true

The one that had taken me places of which no one knew

Could not have prepared me for the patience that would be called

It couldn’t have indicated that I hadn’t anticipated it all

I’d left behind the fear of failing

No longer concerned about how I’d look should I begin flailing

I attacked the panic and refused it stay

Shored up my boundaries in spite of what they’d say

I conditioned my body to hold stable

In all conditions I found I was able

On muddy mountain winding trails

Rejoicing in the strength of my sea legs when the wind hits the sails

Tantalized through the turbulence while I’m in the air

Intrigued in my impermanence rather than despair

In my dream I was walking through the blackest night

My confidence was pitched I feared no plight

But, then it began to rain

My clothes drenched but I had so much to gain

When I finally decided I was prepared to head out on my journey

I’d already pushed past the fear of winding up on a gurney

Come hell or high water I set my face like flint

Of my nomadic destiny I’d already caught a glint

I prepared to be fierce and say no to fear

I prepared to be cunning and quiet with the crafty in spite of their leer

I prepared my body to be strong to hold up under pressure

I came to meet my dreams like wheat to a thresher

I hadn’t prepared to be caught in a rainstorm exactly half way through my quest

I stumbled in defeat as the wind lashed out at me like an unwelcome guest

As I stood still to face the sky and rail at the Universe, “why God, WHY??

A stirring occurred

Suddenly I was face to face with my own word

Had I not made a promise to my soul?

Had I not pledged that I wouldn’t quit till I met my goal

I will not betray that which gives me life

I will not back down though the elements cut like a knife

Turning back will not stop the rain

And I have come to encourage you in your pain

I plowed and pushed at my soul’s behest

I charged forward like a woman possessed

I will not be stopped and neither will you

If you hear this message it’s a sign of your power

I encourage you to march through time to your finest hour

O Istanbul

As the sun went down and the moon drifted high

It occurred to me the end is nigh

The end of frustration and vexation and being stamped down

The end of feeling like I’m about to drown

My breakthrough came like a thief in the night

Gathering me as the good and stealing me from my plight

I was whisked away to a Turkish wonderland

The place where I always take my ancient stand

In the valley of the kings the queens come and submit

We rise as a group and the men become fit

There is a divine order God wishes to bring

One where the martyred women sing

Of their daughters glories and freedom stories

When Mother Cozett came with a soaking rain

Religion turned to reason

The reason changed the season

And immediately the lions laid with the lambs

Peace, peace she spoke

As her poetic bread was broke

Hardened hearts of willful violence

Became transformed in the silence

From the least to the greatest they all sat and listened

As mama Cozett’s words formed like Dew and glistened

Shimmering brown skin soaking in apothecary

My words became their sanctuary

Grace to the mountains and peace to the Golden Horn

Never again will battle rend us forlorn

The time is now and it’s about you and me

The time is now see the words of God upon the sea?

In all shapes and sizes and forms

Colors and facets that break the norms

A new day has dawned it arrives expeditiously

My poetry ushered it in auspiciously

Let us sit round the fire of the Bosphorous

Let’s ingest wisdom until we’re prosperous

I’ll feast with you till the daylight dawns

Wash your feet under the stars while the prideful yawns

Our way is a new way a higher way

We can lead together on the highway

A mass Exodus due to system disapproval

Warrants that the good and fat of the land issue reproval

Condemnation belongs to those who kick the goads

Like the wild ass who takes the resistance roads

There is a better way and I’ll show you why

But first let’s sit and look at the sky

I Am The Dream Cartographer: A Poetic Sonographer

I am the dream cartographer

A poetic sonographer

Sounding the unseen

I take my throne as Queen

Through my poetry

I sift the nations and discern

Through my poetry

The chaff is made available to burn

The burned up remnants

Who thought themselves chosen

Plying the poor with hearts that are frozen

They wouldn’t know Jesus if He smacked them in the face

Yet they deem themselves a superior race

Judgement begins at the house of God

They think He’s not looked while they’ve run roughshod

Over the people He intended them to care for

But they fornicated with politicians and became the great whore

Fallen, fallen is Babylon the Great

They thought they’d find themselves at the Pearly Gate

A shocking surprise awaits them all

A Father’s heart isn’t small

They thought His scope and love to be narrow

Singing that His eye is on the Sparrow

But, as they read the words of my prophetic poem

They’ll gnash their teeth and their mouths will foam

They’ll drip with the venom they accused satan himself of

While claiming themselves to be harmless as a dove

But, the Father sees it all from above

And their time is at hand….watch them begin to shove

They’ll muddy the waters like goats always do

Trampling the nations claiming their blood a martyr brew

Ever the victim

I want them to see

Time will be granted

A little while yet

While Christ casts His last fisherman’s net

We’ve gone out to work the harvest

But, they say it belongs to them since they plowed the farthest.

Did they forget His parables too?

Too busy they were embodying Donald Trump’s coup

A destroyer and destructor of all things good

Capturing the nations with a spirit of intrigue

Puffing up the petulant while he laid siege

This message isn’t from me. It’s from God I assure

This isn’t some piece of syncretic lore

I write because I’m told and it is my charge

It is my duty by and large

I’ll not dandle you on my knees like a child

You’ll not hear my motherly coo comforting and mild

I come with a warning that shit’s about to go down

I really hope that you come around

It is not at all like you think it is

Please remember Jesus was an ironic whiz

He went against the grain and picked grain on the sabbath because his students were hungry

The religious people would rather them die than offer them sundry

The laws you see are unimportant and carry no weight

What matters most is humanity not the timing of some religious date

It is insane that the body of love pursues others with such hate

Serpentine Shadows: The Cunningness of Healing

Snakes. They’re following me around everywhere. It’s uncomfortable. They’re in my dreams. They’re in my visions. A huge one was in my yard near the path to get into my house. And now wondering around through some of my old blog posts I came across a journal entry where I was firmly met and firmly decided to sit with the imagery of the serpent. Why are snakes so ubiquitous for me? I get the sense that serpent is an important part of my journey. I’m gonna ramble a bit here and then below I’ve included that journal entry for your reading pleasure 🙂

I’ve had an uptick in snake dreams lately. And a few visions of snakes. It still doesn’t fail that my initial emotion upon seeing a serpent is one of discomfort. I’ve found that the first thing I wonder about when I see a snake is question if I’m healthy. It’s like a default emotion. I’m as determined as ever to work through this because I feel there are major implications for my perception of this ancient symbol. This archetype. Yesterday morning I had a vivid dream. In this dream I was interacting with my family in my energetic form. I had passed on. I saw the potential scenario of my death and my instructions and impressions to my cousin about how I wanted things handled after my death. It wasn’t until I woke up that I realized that in my dream I was in fact in spirit form and not earthly form. As I rolled over in the warm softness of my blanket I went into a vision. I was sitting on my porch and a snake had crawled up my chair and bit me on my left wrist. It latched hard. I’m telling you its gums were pressed onto my skin. It had gone deep. Of course I jerked my arm and was startled but perhaps not as much as I would have been in real life. The expression on my face conveyed I experienced more of a playful “ouch” than a potentially life-threatening venom injection. The vision was brief as they usually are. It bothered me. I had the nagging question, “why do I keep dreaming about and seeing snakes??” in the back of my mind all day long. It colored everything I did. Why do I keep being brought back to this specific symbol? I finally decided to get still and allow my subconscious to project what it wanted to into my stream of active thoughts. The word, “healer” came into my thoughts. After this, a cascade of new understanding began to inundate me. I could feel these thoughts in different parts of my own body. Those sensations were further confirmation to me of the message of the snake. Shall we go back to Moses? Yes. And since I am the one taking you back to him I’m going to introduce you to some new titles for him that you may not have thought of or be comfortable with. Especially if you share my context as a person in the Bible belt of the United States.

Moses. Shaman to the Hebrews. Medicine man of mysterium. Desert father. Seer. Alchemist. Social justice warrior. Progressive. Empath. Mystic. Oracle. Nomad. I’m going to dive into all of these titles at some point. But for now I want to explore Moses the Shaman to the Hebrews.

In the Bible, Numbers 21:6-9, “Then YHWH sent fiery (burning) serpents among the people; and they bit the people, and many Israelites died. So the people came to Moses, and said, “We have sinned, for we have spoken against YHWH and against you; pray to YHWH, so that He will remove the serpents from us.” So Moses prayed for the people. Then YHWH said to Moses, “Make a fiery serpent [of bronze] and set it on a pole; and everyone who is bitten will live when he looks at it.” So Moses made a serpent of bronze and put it on the pole, and it happened that if a serpent had bitten any man, when looked to the bronze serpent, he lived.”

Here are my takeaways from this passage. Moses’ method of healing was very much shamanistic in that he interacted with YHWH (essentially Spirit) and brought back information from that realm in to the physical in order to heal people. And, in true shaman form, Moses’ presented a method of healing that would force anyone who wanted to survive to look upon the very thing that had made them sick and threatened their lives. Talk about shadow work!!

My call is to look upon the threats and alchemize them to the healing opportunity they offer. To behold them and not to look away or be subject to knee-jerk reactions or act as though I have some obligation to fear them by virtue of what they are.

Here is my journal entry from January 6th 2020: (I have made much progress and that feels so good right now).

This evening in my meditation I found myself gently rolling my head.  Clockwise, then counter clockwise.  My mind was clear.  The movement felt good for my tense neck and shoulders.  There were a few moments that as I moved, my movements reminded me of a snake.  In fact, when it first occurred to me, the word, “serpent” popped into my head.  Creepy right??  But, what if it’s not creepy at all?

I began to journal.  Honestly, I wanted to push the notion of identification with a serpent out of my head and focus on other things.  I’ve been thinking lately about the concept of dualistic thinking.  This box so many of us operate in.  It’s a framework that says life is “us vs them” with comfort coming from feeling like one is a part of an inner circle.  Once that is sensed their is a deceptive reassurance that one’s thoughts are all correct and that person feels justified and vindicated in thinking those outside are wrong.

My context: I am a white, middle-aged, southeastern American woman born in a small town and into a southern American Christian world.  So, the value I ascribe to certain symbols are different than say a middle-eastern man or south African woman.  If you share my context you will likely have already picked up on and experienced a sense of discomfort or unease or morbid curiosity when you saw the title of this blog and the reference of identifying with a serpent.  Why?  Because in my culture that is colored by the Christian Bible and the fact that we claim a savior who was Jewish our minds immediately refer to the negative connotations of the serpent in the Bible.  From Genesis to Revelation the snake is given a bad rap.  Really bad.  In fact its image often represents Satan.  The ultimate adversary of God and tormentor of humankind.   In Genesis there is a prophecy that the offspring of Eve will bruise or crush the head of the serpent.  We understand that offspring to be Jesus Christ and the serpent the devil.  Only twice in scripture is the serpent presented in positive light.  In Genesis the serpent is called, “more crafty, intelligent, cunning than any beast” and again while the children of Israel were wandering in the desert looking for the promised land there is an instance where “fiery serpents” entered the camps and killed and made sick many people.  In order for them to be healed from this attack they were instructed to look upon the image of a serpent that had been crafted from brass.  Needless to say I grabbed onto the positive symbology.  More importantly…I allowed my mind to explore the biological characteristics of snakes.  I’m very blessed to have done so and here’s why:

Growth-when it comes to growth in humans or animals the visual of that is so subtle you really can’t see it happening.  Except when it comes snakes.  The growth of a snake involves shedding it’s skin and that is something everyone can see.  Can you imagine your skin coming off every time you have a revelation, make a good choice, learn something new or celebrate another birthday?  Awkward.  Scary looking. Startling.  Right?  Additionally, it puts the snake in a very vulnerable position.  But growth spurts do that to us too right?  It usually isn’t pretty when we shed old ideals, behaviors, patterns, etc.

Right before the serpent enters it’s first scene in the Bible where it is cursed for cajoling the woman into eating forbidden fruit that her eyes may be opened to the reality of evil as well as good, it receives a rave review.  It is said to be the most crafty and intelligent and cunning animal elevating it’s intelligence above all other beasts.  To me this is very moving.  My childhood and adolescence held a running theme where my intelligence was constantly questioned.  When I got in trouble the first words I heard from my grandfather was, “stupid, silly damn thing.”  My grandmother’s words were a little less harsh.  She would immediately say something to the effect of, “well you should have KNOWN better.”  Because all kids come automatically knowing right?  And finally during the times when my mother orbited my life and we fought she would always say, “you’re not even old enough to have an opinion.  You have no idea.”  Now as an adult I find myself in a pursuit to be one of the greatest minds in history.  Yeah, I know.  My ability to “correctly” perceive and righteously act has hijacked the relaxation and fun and ignorant bliss I could have experienced thus far.  I developed this obsessive umpire in my mind.  Every moment of everyday I have discovered that I am judging each moment as either good or bad and I’ve robbed myself of simply being.

Had I never known this context I have found myself in, a white, southern Christian woman, I may have been conditioned and introduced to the imagery of the snake as the epitome of wisdom, a master of growth, a symbol of success, a representation of healthy sexuality, an expert hunter.

As I allowed my mind to open to these truths and additional meanings I began to feel a sense of pride rather than unease.  I am…wise.  I am one who is always growing and requiring more of myself and determined to stretch.  I aspire to be a symbol of success, one with healthy sexuality and an expert hunter or provider for myself.  I am serpent-like.  My nimble movement inspires.

As a psychology student, an empathic person and aspiring professional counselor it is important to me to be relatable.  I want people to feel open to me.  And, I feel like one of the greatest medicines or gifts I can offer to myself…is healing my symbology.  I want to take all the disowned and shamed symbols and revive them.  I want to give them new meaning and the place of honor they deserve.  On a practical level I want to not immediately have a negative connotation of someone who perhaps loves snakes or brings up dreams about morphing into a snake in their dreams during a counseling session.  Healing my “seeing” better ensures my ability to be an agent of healing in the lives of others.

This year I have plans of shedding life-long patterns.  And, I’m going to be honest and warn you.  If you know me well, if you follow me on social media there are going to be times my shedding is visible.  And, that may look weird or make you uncomfortable.  But, I am determined to stretch.  I am determined to enjoy the feel of a new skin.  One that is more pliable and more suited to the joys of experiencing growth.

So, starting off 2020 I’ve healed at least one symbol and made new room in my mind and heart to better understand the world around me.

I am serpent.  And, I’m healing my symbology.

King Mentality

These are truly the days of dreams and visions for me.  This is yet another middle of the night post.  Creativity seems to have saturated every cell of my body.  When I’m awake I’m stewing on manifesting my wildest dreams.  When I’m asleep I have vivid and highly metaphorical dreams.

And in the liminality of the 3 to 6 am time period I am inundated with vision.

So…what is Cozett contemplating at 4:19 am on a Tuesday morning?  The power and beauty of healthy masculinity. And how we can heal our world through the vehicle of it.

The words, “king mentality” kept rolling around in my thoughts so I began to ponder on what it could mean.  What the implications are of such a mentality, what it looks like, and how it can be extracted from centuries of toxic masculinity and off the rails patriarchy.  Naturally, “queen mentality” is the balancer of these mindsets and I will get to that soon.

But right now I have a grand idea.  There are so many books in me.   This concept is one of them.  I feel it’s crucial for our forward movement as a global society.  So with that said please pray that I will have the energy, patience and commitment to see this project through to publishing?  It’s important.  I promise.

All of humanity looks to its past examples of heralded leaders to influence its future course.  It had occurred to me that men who are alive in 2021 and reading this are in a unique and exceptional position at this point in the human race.  There are golden opportunities for men in 2021 that’s never been available to them until now.  Believe it or not if you are a masculine…I truly believe you are alive and reading this for a very special reason and purpose.  You were meant to see this post.  Your inner battle cry has been heard.  Your dreams are important.  Your positive impact can be immeasurable.  You are so needed. Needed but also free.  Free to reign like the king you are IF you recognize what’s being drawn out of the depths of who you are.  You’re being summoned to greatness.  Not like the greatness of the past.  Not like the greatness of Nebuchadnezzar, or Tutankhamun,  or King James, or John Wayne, etc.

No. 2020 served us all up something that will have lasting implications for many lifetimes after this blog is posted and my book is (hopefully) published.

There is not one human life on the earth that hasn’t been touched by the Covid-19 pandemic.  Whether you got sick, know someone who did, mourned someone who died from it…or never got sick, never knew anyone who did and never knew of anyone who died from it and was just irritated by the inconvenience and media coverage of it.  It has affected us all at some level. This should be a common ground for us all.  So don’t lose sight of the value of other humans who wave to you from the other end of the spectrum.

So where am I going with all of this?  This post is a kick-off of sorts for some research I’m going to undertake to interview men from every country of the world.  I am blessed to have an international readership and YouTube community.  I’m so grateful that nearly every single day I am having interesting, if brief, interactions with people from dozens of different countries, religions, and socio-economic contexts.  I talk with people who belong to tribes, live in villages, live in remote places, and have wildly different opinions and world views from my own.

And, I LOVE the tension that is held between my own values and opinions and those of the people who have such different views.  You really can enjoy the company and pressure that sometimes comes from such diversity.  The secret to the thrill and enjoyment of such company is that you each share 2 core values.  #1. Love of humanity.  #2. An open mind that isn’t hostile to being challenged.  In other words an ego that is in check.   If you share just these 2 things…you can enjoy the company of any human regardless of differences.  Talk about opening up new worlds right??  An incredibly rich opportunity to see the world through someone else’s eyes and hear the heartbeat of the earth with someone else’s ears.  To feel perceive and sense with a skin other than your own.  Is that not exciting??

On July 27th 2021 I am eager to discover who the kings of the 3rd millenium are.  They do not rule like their forefathers did.

If you’re familiar with the term, “divine feminine” you probably understand that after thousands of years of masculine rule we have and are shifting into the era of the divine feminine.  The pendulum has swung and the future is female.  It’s not just a nifty feminist soundbite.  It’s the natural progression of the course of humanity. I am stoked to be a woman pioneering in this age.  And because I recognize it I want to make sure I do it right so I can be the trailblazer that this wild and wonderful Universe has called me to be.

I want to be a divine feminine who helps set the stage for a better society for women and girls.  But in wisdom I perceive this can’t be done by “stripping men of their power and puking in the face of patriarchy.”  (As much as I have wanted to at times, admittedly.)  No.  The wise woman is a healer.  And healers are seers of sorts.  They can perceive wounds that others can’t.   They can see the wounds of people who don’t even know they carry them.  That is one thing that the masculine era taught us.  To disconnect from our pain.  Because pain is weakness and weakness is vulnerability and vulnerability does not perpetuate the human race. 

So how can I best serve women and girls and the feminine collective? I can do this by reaching out to the masculine collective and encourage them to come up higher.  I mean that’s one of the largest roots of societal problems around the world right?  The majority of ALL violence is committed by men.  Rapes, wars, murders, oppression, religious domination, originated and have been perpetuated largely by men.  All of those things are symptoms.   Not that men are bad.  Not that patriarchy is by nature toxic.  No.  Patriarchy is fatherhood.  Good fathers are indeed like shepherds.  Protectors.  Nurturers.  We’ve been given a bad example.  We have been living for thousands of centuries with toxic masculinity.  But it only exists because of wounds and to some degree the early drives to survive and escape dinosaurs and such.

So this is one of my plans to make the world a better place.  I want to hear from YOU. 

What in your mind is a king? 

What in your mind defines healthy masculinity?

Who have been positive masculine examples in your life?  Whether personally or perhaps some public figure.

As we dance into the feminine era and tap in to all the mysterious and esoteric wisdom, and healing it offers…I still wanna hear it…for the boy…(Song: Let’s hear it for the boy by Deniece Williams.)

#divinemasculine #divinefeminine #cozettcontemplates #divinefemininerising #patriarchy #toxicmasculinity #inspiration #blogger #writer #international #King #KingMentality #Queen #queenmentality

Turkiye

It’s 3:51 am…and I just wanna be in Turkey.  I’m curled up under my weighted blanket and have my lamp on dim.  My eyes are fixed on the large world map I just put on my wall and my newly updated vision board.

My vision board is too personal to show.  But, if you could see it you would see pics of the Turkish flag  and the bright blue water of the Mediterranean. 

In my mind’s eye I see me walking down the shore just before sunset.  Feeling the fine gravel and tiny rocks of the earthy beach.  I’m looking out over the ocean dreaming big about what’s on its way to me.

The work I want to do there.  It would be enough for me to sit alone on the beach or in some restaurant.  Just to feel the vibration of the culture.   The people.   Even if I don’t “know” them…I somehow know them.  The thrill of simple and honest observation of the buzz of life there is a source of endless curiosity for me.

The pitch and tone of their language is so beautiful.   It has a cadence that rings of innocence and purity.  The way they carry themselves, their mannerisms, gestures, facial expressions reveal a peculiar inner radiance.
The way they interact with their children is awe-inspiring.  There is a depth of uninhibited warmth and reverence for children there.  Even when there are public announcements being made it was never a generic, “ladies and gentlemen we will be landing soon…or ladies and genetleman please enjoy the entertainment….”  It was always, “Ladies and gentleman and DEAR children….”

Children are always included in their announcements.  As someone who suffered a traumatic childhood I LOVE that they feel it important to directly address little ones to keep them informed and make them feel safe and included. 

Right now I long to be in some city center there.  Perhaps sitting on a park bench across from a mosque .  Taking in the opulent and unique and ancient architecture.  Observing their going in and coming out and tapping into their energy to see if I can feel if they had some profound spiritual experience.

As an American who has lived my entire life in the Bible belt but also acutely aware that my faith has its roots in Turkey…I have to say the Muslim call to prayer fills me with a deep sense of stillness that makes me feel immediately and instantly grounded and centered.  It never fails that I am covered in chills and struggle to keep tears in check when I hear it.  The sound overwhelms me and makes me feel so small.  So…held by the large unseen force I know as God.  I feel enveloped and absorbed into something bigger than myself.  Something mysterious.  Something grander than my own my aspirations. 

I can feel the robust and rolling vibrato on my skin.  I feel it within as well.  At my core.   The resonance seems to shift things inside me. 

I don’t know what the future holds for me there.  I just know that when my feet touched the earth there I felt like I was at home and was going to be there many more times.  I felt a sense of purpose.  Dignity.  Ambition.  Hope. Inspiration.  I felt these things more deeply than I ever have.  I felt truly alive.

The ripple effect is proving to be a lasting one.  My toes are still painted with the Turkish flag as my pedicure is still good.  Soon it will fade.  But for now everytime I’ve looked at my feet since I’ve been home I get this metaphorical lesson that my feet….belong on Turkish ground. 

I won’t be happy until I can feel the earth and sand that is Turkish land sifting between my toes and leaving grit around my nail beds. It’s not enough for me to be some happy tourist.  I have a work to be done there.  I don’t know what it is. I just know it calls to me day and night.  I see it in my dreams and wake up thinking I’m still there only to look out my window and see that I’m still in my little healing haven on a Red Bank cul-de-sac. I love Red Bank.  I love Tennessee.  I love the beauty of the south here.  It’s my springboard and contrast that has led me to pursue and embrace some of my wildest dreams.

From Tennessee to Turkey…who’d have thought?  I think my soul always knew though.  And not just Turkey but the continents it graces.  It is not just a bridge between two continents for me.  But, a bridge between worlds.  A bridge between realms.  A passage between 3D and 5D.  A unique trail marked just for me. Harrowing and heartening all at the same time.  Beautiful and bittersweet as it’s a line of demarcation marking the moment of one of the greatest transformations of my life.  A chaotic catalyst that will never allow me to go back to the way things were.  I can never be the same woman I was before I left.  Coming back onto US soil I stepped out into the humidity of a southern night on the 4th of July and realized I was having my own personal independence day of sorts. I’d broken free from the tyranny of trauma.  I’d emancipated myself.  I stepped into the woman I always hoped I’d become.  One who had traveled alone and against the odds.  There was literally NOTHING in my reality that could have indicated I could successfully pull that trip off.  There was plenty of uncertainty and unknowns and fear based illusions that could have held me back.

But I chose to jump into the chasm.  I assaulted the abyss of aberration.   I dove into the hands of the cosmos and tasked the universe to catch me before I hit bottom or came to a tragic end.  And it did just that.

It’s like I experienced zero gravity after my jump.  I never went down.  Only up.  It was disorienting because suddenly reality wasn’t playing by the rules.   Things were turning out far better than I could have dreamed.  Where I should have fallen I rose.  Where I should have stumbled I lifted off the ground and flew.  Where I should have ran…I paused and allowed myself to have all the overwhelming sensory experiences that would have ordinarily put me in bed for a week to recover from.

It was like time stood still.  Like I had cracked the code to the matrix.   I began bending my reality and smithing it.  In my hand a hammer and at my feet an anvil.  In between was my destiny with lots of heat and fire.  The force of my blows shaping it intentionally.  Shaping me and my own humanity.  My spirit.   My essence.  With skillful tongs I kept repositioning until all sides had received the proper amount of blows.  And then what emerged from the fire and all the beating took me aback.  What I witnessed forever changed the way I perceive myself.

Turkey, I promise I’ll be back.  I promise I will dedicate some of the best of my life’s energy to exploring you.  It feels as though we’re both excited about that.

Cheers to the glory that is you.

Love,
Cozett

#turkiye #turkey #antalya #istanbul #cozettcontemplates #lifecoach #inspiration #blogger #redbanktn #tennessee #borderless #travelblogger #traveltheworld

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