Teaching The Darkness: I Am The Cheeky Pantomime

Mirroring the black I’m like a cheeky pantomime. I bring the imagery to it’s knees with the precision of my rhyme.

Tell me darkness, what do you see? Do you feel lost in me?

Don’t you enjoy the mirrors of the fun house? There’s so much for you to behold.
As you scurry like a mouse a story will unfold

The first few reflections for you were a breeze. But, if you ever wish to exit I’ll be the one holding the keys.

My life is not a play thing. Nor my soul a charnel ground.
I’ll play your game across a 6 string. Will your salvation spring from my sound?

From illusion, to delusion, I’m coming round again. Yet another glance for you to see how much I win.

In your effort to swallow me you became obsessed.
You couldn’t help but follow me and now you are possessed.

Cat and mouse is best played out in cartoon. But, your relentless hunt of me has become for me a boon.

I can hear the horrors of your inner scream. Dear darkness, surely you know, this is all a dream.

You could simply will it all away. After all, you manifest every word you say.

How are you enjoying my mime? Have you found it worth your time? And, Dear darkness what about your reflection in my mirror? Now, are you able to see clearer?

I know this all must be very painful and perplexing for you. Your hunger to be free has yielded poison stew.

But, from it you must eat. Remember? This was what you served me as a treat.

I’m sure the light is just around the corner. Even if you lose hope you should still hang on. Like a good little mourner.

This whole path can feel so tricky and slippery am I right? I wonder if you ever felt pity when this journey was my plight?

That’s not the nature of the darkness. Nor is it the nature of the mirror. There was no mercy for my afflicted starkness. I stood silent like a lamb before the shearer.

Don’t misunderstand. This poem is not your threnody. As these words of mine land they’re simply an amenity.

I have no plans of wrapping things just now. As your mirroring mime I’ve taken a solemn vow. You won’t get through the maze unless I’m the one to show you how.

Cozett Contemplates justice against the darkness…

#cozettcontemplates #thedarkness

Inevitable Moments

There are these inevitable moments in life. Today I got word that a 3rd member of my family has died. My poor father is shaken with grief as this was his older brother. It seems there was a lot left unsaid. And, honestly I don’t blame that on either one of them. I blame it on life. This is the 3rd unexpected death in 9 months. To be perfectly honest, I began heavily medicating after the second one back in December. And, I don’t mean I’m staying high. I’m just taking a lot of prescriptions to hold me steady so I can still function mentally. I still haven’t regained my ability to walk more than about 1800 steps per day with lots of rest periods and that still carries a bit of repercussion with bouts of tachycardia at bed time when my body is trying so hard to recover from the strain of movement on top of the emotional trauma of the past year. My cat died, my mother died, I lost 2 vehicles, almost got evicted, had to move in with a relative because I can’t afford rent anywhere anymore due to soaring cost of living and I’m not able to work right now and won’t be able to for quite some while. I lost a younger cousin. The last surviving son of my elderly uncle. I can’t believe he lost both of his children and faces his elder years without them. I can’t believe me and my mamaw and brother have to face the future without my mother. There’s just so much. And, while I’ve said since 2017, “I can’t take anymore.” I do. I’m writing this because I’ve just taken so much more than I ever dreamed possible and still survive it. Granted, I have lost my mobility to emotional trauma and stress and I am heavily medicated and have packed on more weight than I thought I ever would. I have taken a toll. But, I’m here. Writing.

There are these moments in life that are inevitable. And it sucks when they all pile up together rather than being spaced out allowing time for recovery before the next crisis. But, here I am. Doing all the nervous system things, leaning on my friends, loving on my family, appreciative of the shelter, helping where and how I can. And, writing. Oh, I also made the Dean’s list at University and am about to publish my first book in about a week or so. All this during the hardest years of my adult life. And, I’m middle-aged and that sucks honestly. Because of the crisis I have not been afforded the opportunity to find the “finally don’t care” attitude that I hear women talk about when they get a certain age. I haven’t found the solidity women say they feel at my age because to walk in my world feels like the globe has been greased and I too have been oiled and walk on it slick and naked. Vulnerable and no balance. My world feels like a greased pole where the floor is lava.

There are these inevitable moments in life. And, when they come…you can’t pray them away, you can’t manifest them away, you can’t cuss them away, you can’t wish them away, you can’t science them away, you can’t psychology them away, you can’t religion them away, you can’t God them away, you can’t spell them away, you can’t gather an army of friends, family, or politicians to resist them or tell them to go away, you can’t write them away, you can’t therapy them away, you can’t spiritual them away, you can’t atheist them away, you can’t hide from them, you can’t run from them, you can’t deny them, you can’t sublimate them, you can’t pay them away, you can’t doctor them away, you can’t medicate them away, you can’t exercise them away, you can’t work them away, you can’t sleep them away, you can’t drink them away, you can’t starve them away, you can’t not see them.

But, you can allow your friends to love you through them, you can let your family hold you through them, you can let your cat or your dog lay on your chest and lick your tears as they fall. You can open your chest wide and accept that these moments are life too. You can acknowledge that your steps are in sync with the march of humanity and that your footfalls imprint the human continuum and whether it feels like it or not you are right where you’re supposed to be. You, me, we….are part of the marvel. The dynamic, diverse, prism that is humanity. One massive, non-congruent, yet deeply cohesive at the same time, collective unconscious, reflectively conscious, forging forth for a better day.

Soulmate Romance

As I think through my concept of a soulmate, the first thing I think of is the emphasis on the word “mate.” For me, mate, means match, alignment, similarities, and therefore comfort. The soul component is the deeper part of our humanity that the majority of other humans do not adequately or accurately perceive about us. A soulmate, for me, would be someone who does see that part of me with clarity and mirrors back to me the profundity of what they see because that person shares many of the same qualities and perspectives and emotions of my own soul. That person can see me because they have seen their own soul, deeply. It is the element and degree of depth of their own self-awareness that is one of the greatest qualifying factors for me to identify with that person as a romantic soulmate.

As I’ve gotten granular on the semantics of the word, “soulmate” it has occurred to me that I’ve been too willing to accept men who do not match or align with me on a soul level. And, to be perfectly honest, and as I’m told by those closest to me, I am likely too deep for most and therefore unrelatable to a great degree. So, where is love for me? I feel like my depth very much limits my options. Added to that, my “niceness” has always given the impression that I can be treated poorly or not have my relational needs met and they can still have priority and benefit from my love of them. 

I think this post serves mostly as a precursor to an impending perspective and behavioral change. I don’t know what that will look like but if I could describe the emotion of what is gathering in this regard it would be more confidence, less tolerance of bad behavior for the sake of being flexible and making it work, and self-belief. I would say “glow-up” but I feel that term has become banal and I’m growing to despise it for that reason. The next several months of this year feel like they will be an unearthing of the “why” and the “how” I need to change my understanding and behavior of who I am willing to accept as a romantic partner. I think ultimately it will be a massive contrast in how I’ve always I’ve seen things pertaining to being loved. And once that change is done it will likely seem to others that it was like an overnight explosion that completely changed my emotional landscape and personality aspects. But, I can intuitively tell that for as profound and impactful as it will be it will be a process of gentle erosion. One that my body can keep pace with and not one that will cause further non-congruence in my soul. Because it is those non-congruences I think, that are creating the disparity between who I desire and who I actually attract.

Cheers to self-discover, shadow work, and the romance of the soul.

Cozett Dunn

Cozett Contemplates Being A Healer

You used to be so nice~ It was because I was afraid of the implications of displeasing you.

You’re so strong & such an inspiration ~ It’s because of my survival instinct and because I’m naturally a good person

You’re so brave~ My nervous system would no longer allow me to tolerate the confines of the box people wanted me in. It was either tear it apart or continue to betray my emotional well-being

You must be an empath~ I’m hypervigiliant. I’m highly attuned to the energy of others because I was traumatized as a child.

As a trauma survivor you find yourself on a continuum. There is a linear space, thread, that runs from your childhood, into your present, and reaches out before you in the time to come. Like a train track you can stand on any point of it and feel the vibration of the train whether its behind you or has passed you. It doesn’t matter if you can see it. You can still feel it its vibration. Its energy.

As if in a dream, you find yourself experiencing an alternate reality than that of those around you, and you’re constantly teaching yourself what’s real and what’s not, what to hang on to, and what to let go of.

People who have experienced emotional trauma have brain changes, similar to those who have had concussions.

Emotions, feelings, are so powerful they can physically reshape the structure of your brain and thereby color your reality. Thankfully, neuroplasticity is a thing. But, healing is something that needs support and takes work. And while the trauma isn’t your fault you are the one who will have to take the responsibility to heal what you didn’t harm. That feels unfair and is traumatic in its own sense.

This is why its imperative…..to not feel like you have to be nice to everyone. Because everyone….isn’t supporting the healing of your brain and nervous system. Everyone isn’t guarding your heart and prioritizing your well-being or creating safe spaces for you or trying to understand the decisions you make.

In fact, most people aren’t critical thinkers. For many it’s never occurred to them how they could make the world a better place by looking through the lenses of others and a lot of people have zero desire to do so even if it has occurred to them. The fact is, that those with narrow emotional experience, narrowed and selective perspectives that require people to believe the way they do, behave the way they do, see the world and others the way they do creates disenfranchisement because it automatically has the implication that there are consequences for people who aren’t like them.

So here we are as trauma survivors. Healing from harm we didn’t create. Creating corners of safe space from spaces that others assume should only belong to them.

I want to take this post and tell trauma survivors how amazing, dynamic, multi-faceted, emotionally intelligent, beautiful, powerful, and expansive they are. You have amazing qualities that evolved on the inside of you. You are an evolved human being. You have space on the inside of you. That space is capacity. Capacity for good. Capacity gives you the ability to receive that narrowness cannot afford you.

I believe that humanity has begun a massive shift. A shift that values emotional intelligence and expansiveness and tolerance. A shift of conviction.

There will be a collective of humanity who deeply hold the belief that it is better to be a bridge builder for every chasm is better than clinging to feeling superior because of what “sets them apart.”

There will be a collective of…us…who deeply believe that to be a healer isn’t something relegated only to licensed professionals or the “spiritually” gifted. Healing belong to humanity. Period. It is expressed in community not division. It is given and received in relationship with those who understand that though we are many, ultimately we are one.

I refuse to be anything other than safe. I refuse to be anything other than a healer. I refuse to be anything other than whole.

And, if you’re not of this same energy you can’t be in MY energy. At all. My health cannot afford you.

The community I’m creating, the circle I’m curating, the reality I’m shaping is necessarily humane, good, sovereign.

Cozett Contemplates the conviction of what it means to be a healer

Yours in emotional intelligence,

Cozett Dunn

Cozett Contemplates The Undreamed

Cozett Contemplates the undreamed…

As far back as I can remember self-inquiry has been one of the most powerful trailblazing tools I’ve ever utilized.

Everyday we move through our thought lives and external routines by our subconscious assessment of a predictable future & a well-rehearsed past.

Maybe we’ve been on our jobs 15 years and in the back of our mind we know we will get the opportunity to retire soon. Or, perhaps we have always been unlucky in love and based on our previous patterns it looks only logical that our future will likely not include the partner we want.

Now, let’s talk about how we dare to dream…anyway.

In spite of our predictable future and the likelihoods that seem will inevitably play out as our path unfolds it is only human nature to hope for better. To dream for more. To want more even if it doesn’t seem that “more” can happen for us.

My question to myself today…and to you…is “what have I not dreamed of yet?”

If you have a vision board or practice affirmations then you likely have at least a vague picture of what your ultimate desires are.

But, what about exploring the “undreamed?”

Here I’ll talk about what I’m including into the big picture of what I know myself to be gravitating toward.

First, I have to acknowledge Margo Holder for the words of not just wisdom but adventure that she has always said to me when I’ve catastrophized about my life. Those words, “anything can happen.” The very essence of this concept is rooted in the quantum field of endless potential. Meaning it is entirely scientifically, mentally, emotionally, and realistically appropriate to BELIEVE THE BEST
& to open wide your nervous system to the exhilaration that can only be found in the willingness to indulge in adventure.

Things I’ve dreamed of:

1. Financial security that enables me to create multiple humanitarian organizations.

2. Wealth without work

3. Love without effort

4. Travel without restraint or restriction

I put absolutely NO cap on how outrageously above and beyond these particular things can be fulfilled. Multiple humanitarian organizations?? That’s likely going to be too small in comparison as to how that dream actually comes true.

I have become granular in my focus on how I want my life to look going forward.

But, what have I not dreamed of yet? What part of the human spectrum has my imagination not wandered yet?

It is the undreamed that I’m looking for today. The undreamed is ultimate human potential.

Just the thought of that inspires me. Just the thought of the undreamed…stirs up and engages my emotions. Emotions are the perfect catalyst. Emotions are the most raw, organic manifestation tools humanity posseses.

By the end of the day today I will have a list of new, fresh dreams I’ve not thought of yet. By the end of the day I will have expanded my vision. By the end of this day I will be gravitating toward “a new newness.” I will be moving into a more exotic, happier experience.

What about you? Of course you know what your predictable future is. Of course you know overall what you hope for your life.

But, tell me…what have you NOT dreamed of yet?

I really want to know.

Yours in the dreamscape,
Cozett Dunn

#cozettcontemplates #whatdreamsmaycome #dream #dreamitintoexistence #quantumfield #humanpotential #dreambigger #explore #travel #love

Cozett Contemplates: The Energy Of Opportunity

Cozett Contemplates the energy of opportunity

What do you think of when you hear the word, “opportunity”?

Opportunity has to do with potential. And, potential has to do with pre-manifestation frequencies.

Whether you realize it or not you and everyone in your life is consistently manifesting something. We are all manifesting connections, people, situations, relationships…and opportunities.

Depending on whether you are in alignment with your soul’s calling you may or may not be manifesting opportunities that lead you one step CLOSER to the highest version of yourself. The richer version of you. The healthier and happier version of you. The more at peace version of yourself.

This is where logic tripped me up. For nearly all of my life I consistently put my heart on the back burner and followed logic alone. I believed that my heart was “wishy-washy” and couldn’t be trusted. That is what I was taught. Now I see what a horrifying travesty that teaching is. It is an actual and literal betrayal of your soul. If you’re a Christian…that soul is one that Jesus died to redeem. For many years I heard it preached that “the heart is deceptive.” Yes, there is a bible verse that says this…but because Jesus came to show us a better way….I will not reference it. I won’t reference it because I’d rather you focus on the work of Jesus than the condemnation of old testament theology.

My struggle for years was, “if Jesus gave me a new heart then why am I not allowed to trust it? Would he create something brand new in me if it were not of quality workmanship? Given to me in such seriousness so as to be willing to DIE and be executed and misunderstood for my new heart only for HIS preachers to keep preaching that it’s ugly, sinful, untrustworthy, and fickle?”

No, my friends. This is not the way. There is a better way. And that way is the way of your heart. Because of this kind of stuff I no longer identify as fundamental or conservative. And because of this detachment to brute thinking I have healed and become more vibrant than I have ever been at any point in my life thus far. So, now that I have addressed the religious perspective I’m going to move on to a point that is more comprehensive and inclusive. I write so that I can “feel with” atheists, religious folks, spiritual folks, and everyone in between. Why? Because….I am everyone in between. I’ll save that concept for another post! ha ha

EVERY opportunity that will ever come your way carries its own unique energetic signature. And it is that frequency, that signature that you should learn to pay attention to rather than just the “trappings” that the opportunity comes dressed in. There is ALWAYS more than meets the eye. That applies to people, places and things.

Here’s what I mean. Over the course of my adult life I’ve owned and operated multiple businesses at once. I am multi-passionate. And because of that I call myself a “multipreneur.” I have learned some great lessons from being this kind of business owner that I want to pass on to you because I want you to have the ability to read the energy of the opportunities that come your way so you can identify which ones to seize and which ones to pass on. This is so important when it comes to coming into alignment with your dreams. Your callings.

Lesson #1- If you reject opportunities that appeal to your heart but not your mind and are consistently led by logic you are sending a message out into the atmosphere that you would “rather betray your heart and not listen to your conscience and that following what you “should” do is more important than following what you “know” to do.” Essentially you are opening yourself to more opportunities to betray yourself and your emotions and your purpose. Sit with that. Is that ok with you?

Lesson #2- The head is more deceptive than the heart could ever be. Our heads are filled on a daily basis with what? Social media images that tell us our bodies aren’t good enough, our beauty isn’t vibrant enough, our favorite politicians are taking a beating, our religions are so persecuted, our vehicles aren’t nice enough, and so we become programmed. Our minds become programmed. Not our hearts. Our hearts hold an eternal knowing that cannot be diminished or layered over enough so as to cover up the truth of our calling, our paths, our purpose. Unless of course we refuse this knowing. Then it will lie dormant and any potential you would have otherwise had is for nothing because you spent your life following a programmed mind rather than the innocent and pure knowing of your heart.

Lesson #3- Saying yes to our heads and no to our hearts sends the message that our heart’s desires are of no value and so we keep receiving opportunities that lead us away from our soul’s calling.

For many years I turned down the volume on the voice of my heart. I focused on work that seemed to be, “the only logically good decision.” The decision that I knew my family would prefer I make. The decision that logically looked like it would bring in more money. Logic deals with surface things. Not deep things. If you want to live a life that is shallow, by all means, go for the surface stuff. But, if you want a life that is cultivated, richly deep and satisfying…the only way is the way of your heart.

By following logic and betraying my heart I was out of alignment with my life’s purpose. My physical and mental health suffered greatly. At almost 44 years of age I am just now recovering from the health disasters of following a logic-based lifestyle. I DO NOT want you to make the same mistake.

Because of the pain that FORCED me out of my firmly held place in logic I had no choice but to turn and “try out the desires of my heart.” I began to “FEEL” the opportunities rather than assess them based on logic alone. I would sit with an opportunity that logically didn’t make sense but that emotionally lined up with my passions. For me those things have been travel (Sovereign Travel by Cozett, http://cozettdunn.inteletravel.com healthier living (Sovereign Beauty http://www.crunchi.com/cozettdunn, and writing (Cozett Contemplates https://www.facebook.com/chatttownpoet. Who makes money doing those things?? Answer: the person who is passionate about them!! This girl!!

2023 for me is, “the year of the yes.” I will say yes to my heart more this year than I have in all the other years of my life combined. Can you imagine the adventure in that?? That is wild!! It’s gonna feel good and I am going to feel good! This is my intention. This is my path. And, I hope that as you’ve read this heart-centered post that it has created a courage in you that perhaps you never believed you could have. I hope when this messages finds you that it is YOUR catalyst to living the life of your dreams. I hope that it will be the springboard into a life that is healthier, wealthier, and more satisfying than you could have imagined you could have and definitely more than what you’ve experienced up to this point in your journey.

I hope this year will be “the year of the yes” for your heart and that all your WILDEST dreams come true.

I love you. I really do.

Cozett Dunn

#cozettcontemplates#yourbestlifenow#DontMakeThisMistake#followyourheart#energeticshift#opportunity#morethanmeetstheeye

Why I Became A Travel Agent: My Spiritual Awakening Account In Istanbul Airport

THIS. This is why being a travel agent is so important and meaningful for me.

Travel literally changed my life’s trajectory in ONE trip. I left #chattanooga, #tennessee and when I landed in #istanbul#turkiye…I had a massive, highly visible spiritual awakening in the MIDDLE of Istanbul airport.

I left Chattanooga as a woman who has had over a 20 year struggle with panic disorder and when I got inside of Istanbul airport, on my way to #antalya, Turkiye….I missed my flight.

Now, if you suffer from mental health issues you likely understand how a missed flight is a huge trigger in and of itself. But, let me show you the implications of this missed flight for me and the profound change that took place in me that upgraded my life for the better.

#1. I didn’t speak Turkish and the English on the airport signs wasn’t quite clear. For example, in the restrooms there were signs about conserving trees by using electric hand dryers at the sinks. They encouraged us to limit our paper use saying, “it isn’t good for the nature.” So, it was English but it took some piecing together to fully grasp the message being conveyed. And, when you are overcome with panic your brain is fogged up from adrenaline.

#2. The airport is massive. Larger than the #atlanta#hartsfieldjackson airport. And, I’m overweight and have short legs. So getting through the airport meant I had to move super fast. But, I had no idea where the gates were because I couldn’t understand the signage. So not only was my heart rate rocketing from being in panic but from moving as quickly as I could with a heavy duffle bag that had no wheels, a CPAP machine across my shoulder, a back pack, and a fanny pack. So, here was another trigger.

#3. I had used EVERY PENNY to my name to pay for this trip. I literally had $200.00 in my bank account to last me for 10 days in Turkey. I was at an all-inclusive resort Miracle Resort Hotel so meals were included thankfully. But, can you imagine being a single woman, with panic disorder, in a foreign country where you can’t undesrtand people and they can’t understand you and you are ALONE. I was over 8,000 miles away and dialing 911 or calling a friend or family member to help me wasn’t an option.

#4. The EVIL EYE 🧿– Turkish people believe it is bad luck to show distress. They believe it only attracts more problems. I had NO idea about this. I was walking back and forth through this massive airport, crying my eyes out and asking airport employees and strangers for help. ALL of them ran from me like I had leprosy! I thought, “what is with these people?? Why won’t they talk to me?? What about customer service??” Customer service agents were dismissing me because they didn’t want any part of my panicked energy. Here’s another trigger!

#5. One missed flight change can easily cost $200.00 or MORE and that was all the money I had. No credit cards, nothing. My ticket change cost $180.00. So I had $20.00 in case of an emergency for the next 10 days. Trigger!

#6. Depending on when I could catch another flight I wondered how long it would be and if I would have to spend the night in the airport. I had my CPAP machine on me but had left my power convertors in my luggage and again, I didn’t have enough money to buy one at the airport. I have severe central and obstructive sleep apnea. I had already gone 36 hours with NO sleep and was facing possibly not sleeping in the airport because I couldn’t use my CPAP machine. Trigger!!

#7. Shady airport employee- Finally, an airport employee had had enough of me asking him for help and walking from one end of the airport to the other crying. He came up to me and in a stern voice said, “FOLLOW ME.” I was relieved!! But, that relief was going to be temporary! He took me into some hallways where there were no people, led me back and forth through the airport, and I am certain because of him my ticket change had a tacked on fee for him because he spoke to the ticketing agent for me. The ticketing agent kept looking at him like he was asking him to do something he shouldn’t. Every time I opened my phone to call someone he would snap at me, “CLOSE IT! CLOSE IT!!” I was trying to Whatsapp someone so they could see him in case I got into trouble with him. Trigger!!

#8. At a security line- He stopped and put his hand up at me and leaned into my face and said, “I help you. Now…you help me.” He rubbed his fingers and thumb together signaling he wanted cash. I had NONE! I had $20.00 in my bank account. So, I cried and said, “I am so sorry I don’t have any money. I don’t have it. If I had it I would give it to you. I am grateful for your help. Please. I am so sorry.” Who would believe I had no money. An American doing international travel with NO money at all?? I wouldn’t have believe me either. He then led me to a counter.

#9- My heart medication- He then took me to another counter. I have no idea to this day the purpose of this counter. A lady was giving me a tag for the bags I was carrying but then the airport employee demanded that I open my duffle bag to be searched. In that bag I carried my beta blocker, Atenolol. I used it for panic disorder, and whenever I had episodes of tachycardia. He threatened to seize my medication. The lady at the counter looked at him confused. I begged, “no, this is “kalp” (heart in Turkish)” and pointed to my chest.” He finally relented and again sternly said, “FOLLOW ME!”

#10- A fated intervention- There was a young man from Marmaris, Turkey who was fluent in English. He heard me speaking English and in distress with the airport employees and came over immediately and began interpreting and telling them that was my heart medication and that they shouldn’t be searching my bags or seizing my medication. He asked me where I was going, so I told him Antalya. He said, “I’m from Marmaris and I think my gate will be near yours. I can help you.” The lady gave me a ticket (with no gate number still) and I’m not sure how he knew where to go, but he grabbed my duffle bag and said, “c’mon your gate is beside mine but we need to go quick because your flight is about to leave.” So we hustled to the gate and found a spot to sit down together. I told him I was so thankful he intervened because the male airport employee was asking me for money. The young man became very upset. He said, “this gives Turkey a bad name! People like this man! He’s terrible! He shouldn’t have done this. Please don’t think bad of Turkey because of him.” His kindness was salvific. I made my flight and that trip ended up being one of the BEST vacations I’ve ever had!

In the middle of all of these fears, with less resources for help than I’d ever had, I had to dig deep into the healing process I had been practicing 3 years prior to this trip. I had to lean into the fact that I had been doing neural integration to optimize my nervous system and increase my bandwidth for pressure and stress. I had to prove to myself that I believed the empowering words of my doctor friends back home, the words of my therapist, the philosophies I’d taken on from my favorite personal growth gurus.

I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO BELIEVE IN MY BODY and it’s ability to be strong and not die from a heart attack or end up in a foreign hospital with panic and a racing heart. I had to believe that I had the inward power to control my mind so that my previous mental health issues wouldn’t put me in danger or ruin my trip.

This moment taught me how to connect to my body, believe in the fortitude of my mind, and embody adventure in the midst of catastrophe. This is why travel is so important to me. This is why I want to empower others to travel. I’ve not had one panic episode since this trip almost 3 years ago. I am stronger, happier, and more centered than I’ve ever been. And, I am here to help you create that reality for yourself…via travel.

Your trusty travel agent,

Cozett Dunn

For travel deals, perks and insider information on travel and to sign up to my free newsletter visit: www.cozettdunn.inteletravel.com

Cozett Contemplates: Divergence

My journey is sacred. My path is unique.

Cozett Contemplates divergence…

At the end of 2022 I made a conscious decision. An agreement with the future Cozett. The woman I wish to reflect on from my death bed.

I decided that I would no longer make any decisions based on haste. I would make no decisions that would lead me away from my own happiness. Not even for a day. I’ve spent too many days (nearly 44 years worth of days) basing all I do on pouring my life’s essence into the happiness of others so that I wouldn’t incur any discomfort….from them being uncomfortable. There is no life in that. It’s been a journey of fleeing. Running from one person to the next trying to put smiles on faces, make people feel supported, and most of all…getting their approval. Because their approval would mean my survival.

At nearly 44 years of age, the wisdom of middle-age has finally graced my understanding. And, she has shown me that to live this way, is to live in a constant state of emotional travesty. My whole life, up until this point, has been like a coup. A coup staged by my shadow self. My shadow, comprised of fear, alienation, feelings of abandonment and rejection, and pessimism. I was overthrowing my own power because I felt that my power….was weak. Weak in comparison to everyone around me. So weak that I felt it necessary to replace my personal power in hopes of receiving the security of power outside myself. Security, protection, provision. All done through the avenue of people pleasing. I got so bad with it that I was people-pleasing dangerous and ill-intentioned people. My conscience would scream, “you know they are bad news!! No inspiration or motivation or money or love you can give them will help them and they will in turn HARM YOU, COZETT!!” But…I did it anyway. I did it because I had zero belief in myself and that I could ever offer anything of worth to the world that would both ensure my security and affect meaningful change for humanity.

Even as I type this, the articulation of it all, is blowing my mind. Honestly, it takes a heck of a lot of self-awareness to assess oneself so objectively. And, it also takes a lot of willingness to demonstrate the courage to know oneself this deeply. The deep is a scary place. There’s not much light. You have to deal with a lot of shadows which means you have to fine tune your soul to sift through illusion and not spook so easily when it comes to pulling back the curtains of your own psyche to see what’s there.

I no longer see my life as a journey that “happens TO me” but rather I’ve positioned myself, through shadow work so that I can channel my energy in a way where MY life….”happens THROUGH me.”

There are no detours in the Divine. The divine you. When life happens “to” you, your whole path can be nothing but a detour. You can never follow out what your heart desires because you are too busy fulfilling the desires of others so you have to make U-turns, take toll roads, and bloody your feet by paths filled with briars, and crag. Ultimately, when you live for others, you are intentionally choosing and agreeing to take the long way to arrive at your own destiny. You’re telling your soul that it doesn’t carry the value or worth of taking the straight path, the destined path, the one that actually calls to you.

I can’t believe I have waited this long. Yet, I don’t feel bogged down with regret. I know that I couldn’t have seen then what I now see. I wasn’t capable. The emotional travesty that I intentionally chose had me blinded. And, I also think that to some degree I considered myself young enough to keep putting off my heart’s desires because I had, “time.” This is one of the great gifts of mid-life. The wake-up call. A conscious recognition that in spite of how well you take care of your body and mind…this will all come to an end. I want my end to be in health, in love, in passion, in the sobriety that is informed from severe suffering. A woman wide awake. A woman who maintained the magic of being a little girl in spite of her crucible. Sagic wisdom now finds its expression in me physically. In action. In my decisions. In my voice. In the crow’s feet forming around my eyes and in the small furrow of my brow. Plowed by intense, prolonged consternation and contemplation on why I am the way I am, and why the world around me is the way it is.

My prayer for everyone who reads this, is that you will learn from my lessons. If you are younger than me…please don’t put off following your happiness and being true to yourself. Be authentically you regardless of any perceived consequences of that. If you are my age or older…I give you the same advice. It is true that maturity and wisdom are not necessarily correlated with age.

Your journey…is sacred. And, your path is unique. Don’t you long for people to experience you as you really are? I encourage you to diverge. I encourage you to emerge. Diverge from the paths that people have forced you onto. And, you will emerge….as who you really are.

#cozettcontemplates #Divergence #newyear2023 #TimeToRise #Authenticity #shadowwork #middleagedwoman #wisdomoftheday #inspiration #motivation #motivationmonday

Cozett Contemplates Security: Detaching From Struggle

Cozett Contemplates her security…

Before my meditation this morning, I was doing self-inquiry to see what my soul wanted to see come into my conscious awareness. I have learned well how important it is to do self-inquiry because not asking yourself questions leads to a life of undesirable, and vicious cycles that leave you feeling confused and frustrated and broken.

The issue of my own security came up. I think for various factors (that I will list momentarily) I’ve conditioned myself to ONLY be able to experience security when great struggle can precede it. And, only then will I allow myself to relax or acknowledge that my survival is being ensured. If you follow me closely, you know that I talk as openly as I can about my traumatic childhood and adolescence. From as early as the age of 4 I was tasked with taking care of myself. At the age of 5 I would get myself ready for headstart (like a preschool) and walk to the end of my driveway to the school. When I got home from headstart I would stand in a chair and do dishes, then because I wasn’t strong enough, my mother would run my bath and I would bathe, lay out my clothes for the next day, set my alarm and go to bed to do it all again the next day. I LOVED headstart. I LOVED my teacher! Mrs. Charlene Withrow. I will never forget that woman. In retrospect I now know she was deeply concerned about my living situation and she would periodically make home visits and always bring me…DONALD DUCK ORANGE JUICE!! It had a metal peel tab and a cool 1980’s Donald Duck print on a tiny cylindrical can. I didn’t get to grow up celebrating Christmas due to my grandmother’s religion but every time Mrs. Charlene showed up with Donald Duck Orange Juice, I felt like the luckiest child. It felt like what I would imagine my friends felt like on Christmas morning.

Nothing came easy growing up. My grandfather worked his cattle farm 7 days per week and worked at TVA 5 days per week and he never took a day off as long as he lived. He would go even when sick. He also suffered from migraines as many in my family do and how he managed to function on Goody and BC Powders while working so hard I will never know. But, what I do know is that same work ethic found itself in me, albeit in a bit of a physically weaker vessel. Though I do have my own feats in light of long bouts of illness both mentally and physically. I am proud of what I have accomplished while carrying loads that many will never understand. Working multiple jobs, owning multiple businesses, being unwaveringly patient and kind with others (which is definitely me being “too nice” too often and yes that annoys me) while maintaining privacy about my lack of security or staggering mental health issues (mostly behind me now!) it has not been easy. So, this too has conditioned me, I have conditioned myself with the experiences and emotions of being in constant struggle praying for it to payoff.

Between my childhood and adolescent context and my subsequent struggles in my adult years, it’s never really been at the forefront of my conscious awareness that I can experience security without grueling and nearly obliterating struggle.

Now, my age plays into this well. At the time of this writing I am 43 years old. Soon to be 44. I come from a different time. Up until my generation it was the cultural norm and still is in many places, both in the US and around the world, that unless you were born into wealth life would and should indeed be hard to EARN with struggle every penny. I mean, look at my grandfather. Because of his hard work my grandmother is still surviving today. He never got to enjoy the fruit of his labor though. We took 1 vacation growing up and…God love him, he was miserable and nervous and cranky the whole time. He was always cranky, really. But, he couldn’t relax, he fussed and cussed the whole time. We never did a vacation again. I was about 14 years old. People in my age group and older grew up seeing parents and grandparents who, in their lifetimes may have been some of the first people to get electricity, they used outhouses instead of bathrooms in a home, they lived off the land planting massive gardens and tending to livestock. They were the people of Appalachia, people of pioneering lifestyles.

My cousin Margo Holder and I often talk about our grandmother, Nona Schouggins. She lived on Big Ridge here in Hixson before it became full of subdivisions. It was because of her that electricity finally became available on Big Ridge. She was a medicine woman, a pioneer woman, a healer, an herbalist, she was tough mentally and physically and sometimes emotionally. But, her love held so many together in a secure embrace. Her sureness conveyed a sense of security to everyone who had the privilege of being in her life. But, her sureness came from her the tenacity that was required from her in order to ensure her own survival. Her sureness came as a result of her struggle.

So, a precedent had been set for many generations that has and is thankfully being up-ended by the advent of some serious technology. Having indoor plumbing and electricity has been a game changer for humanity. But, having internet and the ability to have visibility that can, in many cases lead to being paid, having a form of security financially by becoming an “influencer.” The ability to speak to a broad audience, from the heart about one’s experiences and wisdom has taken us from the requirement of struggling to survive to simply speaking your truth and being able to thrive.

This is where my security will come from. While I am decently healthy, I am not, and have never been able to hold a 9-5 job or a job that requires a lot of physical exertion. I have sleep disorders that won’t allow me to have a perfectly ordered work week at a traditional job. And, as of yet I don’t have a college degree. So, 9-5’s are out, warehouse jobs are out, and my goal of one day having my own counseling practice is out until I can finish my degree. As of right now, I am maxed out on my student loan amounts and I haven’t even been able to finish my bachelor’s degree. I need a minimum of a master’s degree to have my own practice. And, at almost 44 years old with maxed out school loans the likelihood of that ever happening is slim unless I just fall backwards into loads and loads of cash.

So, what does this mean for me? I HAVE to be creative. I have to own my reality by owning my own businesses. Thankfully, this is something I enjoy. But, does it mean I have to remain in a grueling state of struggle and uncertainty about my future? About my security in general? At first glance, looking at my lack of a degree, my age, my health (which again, isn’t terrible) if my security depends on “WORK work” then….I’m screwed.

But, with the technology that we now have, there is no reason why I can’t leverage that and forge my path, my security, in an alternative manner. I won’t be retiring from TVA and I am not the pioneer woman that my grandmother was. I do, however, carry deep wisdom, sureness that has come from the all encompassing struggles of my life. And, just like my grandmother, because of this sureness, this steadfastness of soul I am often told that people feel a deep and profound sense of hope and optimism and encouragement when they’re around me. I have, “feel good” energy. People tell me they feel they can be totally open and unashamed around me. They know they can tell me anything and trust that their secrets will never find their way into the ears of unintended audiences. People feel safe and at peace around me. And, it is because of how hard I’ve had to work to create peace in the chaotic life I’ve lived. I’ve had to be my OWN center. My OWN safe place. My OWN therapist. My OWN source of income. My OWN doctor. And, all of these abilities has had to come by following my intuition and what I know about my body, my mind, my emotions, and the extent of abilities.

So, for 2 days I have received a message from my soul. It spoke a few days ago quietly calling me out about, “being attached to struggle.” Then today my soul’s voice grew a bit louder. And, these words came to me, “You deserve to experience an emotional state free from loss, fear, danger and risk.”

I have never in my life had an emotional state that hasn’t included fear, loss, danger or risk. One of the happiest times in my entire life thus far was when I ventured to Turkiye. To the other side of the world, all by myself. But, even that time and the times I visited since the first, haven’t been free from fear of loss or danger or risk. I always find myself worrying about how I will pay my bills when I get back home. Feeling as if I’m going to be punished for eeking out an enjoyment that many take for granted.

I have no idea what an emotional state without the feeling of loss, risk or danger will feel like. I only know that I deserve to experience that. I deserve to live in that as a normal state of being. I deserve to know what it feels like.

I will be letting go of my attachment to struggle. I deserve to live a life of security that isn’t tied to constant struggle. In reality, because of all of the tech tools and social platforms this is more possible for me now than ever before. And, I’m showing up. I’m here to speak my truth and share wisdom and hope with others who know what it is to struggle. I am here to be a messenger of hope. An agent of peace. A global force for good in uniting humanity and calling out the poisonous and subtle tactics employed to divide us. This is my calling. And, this will be my peace. To know that I brought peace. Security…will be my security.

I hope it will be yours as well.

Lots of love,
Cozett Dunn

#cozettcontemplates #thestruggle #security

Destiny Leads The Willing And Drags The Unwilling: Identifying Our Resistance To Greatness

I heard a famous quote by Seneca earlier. “Fate leads the willing; the Unwilling it drags.”

Recently, I’ve been exploring “counter-manifesting.” We hear a lot about having faith, thinking positive, and manifesting our dreams. That is all great. These tools (faith, positivity, and confidence in our creating) are absolutely wonderful and more of us need to operate in these things more consistently. However, if you hold defeating visions or limiting beliefs in your subconscious you will manifest more slowly and with much resistance.

Here’s what I mean. Say you have a really big goal and you’re studying about the law of attraction, you’re exercising your faith and you’re thinking positive thoughts and really leaning into what emotions you will feel once you achieve that goal BUT deep down you don’t believe yourself worthy of receiving those things…then you’re likely going to experience a slowness of getting to your goal. You will probably have lots of ups and down in your emotions where you have to “try” to believe and “try” to push off “negative” emotions…and drive yourself crazy in the process trying to get to what you want.

When we are born we come into this world with no sense of identity. We arrive as pure consciousness. Once we are born then layers are added on top of our consciousness by people outside ourselves and the circumstances into which we are born. We are pure potential. But, maybe you have or had parents with fears of success. Maybe you were born into severe poverty. Or, perhaps you were born in a country that restricts your freedoms based on your gender or religion. Many many layers outside of our control are heaped on top of us and those layers are internalized. Those layers are what I call, “psychic substrates.” A fascia of sorts for the psyche. And, if we are to reach our goals and see ourselves as we truly are we have to be WILLING to sift through and work with the shadow of our subconscious. Many people refuse to get still or meditate because being still means their conscious mind will be met with the issues that aren’t comfortable to acknowledge or address. We may feel overwhelmed by what we perceive would take a lot of time to work through. And, time is scarce. Especially if you live in a culture that glorifies work over mental health. Time is the first thing we need to reclaim to truly take our power back. On that note, I encourage you to inventory areas of your life where if you need to assert a boundary to free up more time, then please do it. Don’t fall into the trap of workaholism or screen time trying to escape the things you really need to know about yourself if you’re going to create the ultimate reality for yourself and those you care about.

In another article I will talk about “how” to explore your subconscious successfully without feeling afraid or overwhelmed. But, for now I just need you to become willing. That’s all the focus is for this article. So, let’s dive into the implications of this famous saying of Seneca. Clearly, you probably first understand this is an issue of mindset. Remember earlier I said you can do all the right things (aka work on your mindsets) and still not hasten or reach your goals? It is this thing, your natural response to your future that determines whether or not you feel led or like you’re being dragged. If deep down you truly don’t believe you are destined for greatness or to have great things then all the work you do will be like laying silk on top of sewage hoping for a smooth and clean path to walk. Sewage stinks. Who knows exactly what is in there. If you touch it could spread disease. If not controlled it creates disruption. See where I’m going with this? The limiting beliefs we hold are like sewage. We may feel afraid to even touch it because of how much it stinks, how disruptive it will be, and put off because we don’t know exactly what’s in it.

Now, here’s where we alchemize this “septic psychic substrate.” What if, as you began to approach this sewage, you noticed that it didn’t quite smell as strong as you thought it might? So, you get a bit closer while grasping your silk. Then as you get closer you begin to notice it’s not as murky but has an opaque quality to it. So, relaxing a bit, you walk up to the very edge of it, and to your surprise you discover it is in fact a sparkling, crystal clear pool of life-giving water. One of the first emotions you might feel is, “ahh! I wish I had come to this sooner! This water could have been nourishing me and refreshing me along this path!” You then decide to scoop your hands into it and it feels so perfect. So cool and refreshing but not too cold. And, you notice it’s deep. Quite deep. So instead of using your silk to cover it all over, you wrap it around your body like a swim suit and SPLASH! You go all in and dive into the deep pool of healing and refreshment. You float and enjoy the clear sky above you. You notice the droplets of water beaded up on your skin. And, you feel….AMAZING. And, from this surprise refreshment you are able to proceed on your path with a skip in your step because the discovery of it changed your mind about it. You saw it clearly for yourself without putting off exploring it because you originally believed it to be too dirty to deal with it.

So, at what point DID the sewage alchemize? When you started off you held a belief it was too much. But, as you approached you noticed it didn’t quite carry the scary and gross characteristics you truly believed it did. At what point did it actually change into life-giving water? It happened in increments. It happened in the emotion of WILLINGNESS to approach IT that IT became clear and refreshing. This is how we transform things. We musn’t be afraid to touch them.

Now, that your underlying belief has changed you won’t have any subconscious resistance to the positive mindsets you are implementing! You can now fully enjoy believing that you are in fact great and destined for greatness and when you receive promptings from Spirit, from God, from the Universe, your natural response will be to feel curious and adventurous and you will find yourself going after your wildest dreams! You will find yourself being led…not being dragged. So, if you’re looking for a sign to believe in yourself with radical, outrageous, and cocky confidence…this is it!! Permission granted.

With love,

Cozett Dunn

Cozett Contemplates

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