She Brought Us All Together Again: Love Is Greater Than Faith

Cozett Contemplates how she brought us all together again…

This morning my meditation released a lot of stored emotion I have about the division we’ve faced collectively over the last several years.

I don’t think I realized how deeply it has affected me.

All my life I have been a peace keeper of sorts. Human suffering has always bothered me. Always. And, I’ve always had this drive to help everyone I can to avoid suffering, consequence, and repercussion.

When I was in 1st grade, I was in a shared classroom with kindergartners. Our teacher is to this day still the favorite teacher I ever had. I remember her that clearly. Originally, Miss Gregory, then she got married and became Mrs. Aldridge. I loved her. She had one big rule for our classroom. And that rule was, “NO MORE THAN ONE ON THE FLOOR.”

She knew how frenetic young children can be and this was one way to keep order, peace, flow in our classroom.

One day while doing a writing lesson, I noticed two kindergartners at the sink. One had gone up to wash his hands from some finger painting they were doing. Then his friend got up and walked to the sink as well and was whispering in his ear. I remember feeling fear, feeling frantic, because I didn’t want them to get in trouble.

So, while they were talking at the sink, I decided to “risk it all” as much as a first grader can! ha ha. I thought, “if I can get to them before she does and get them to sit back down then it will be worth the risk of becoming the 3RD person on the floor!”

So, I quickly got up and walked up to the two boys and said quietly, “you all aren’t supposed to be up here. No more than one on the floor. You’re going to get in trouble.”

Suddenly, from out of nowhere came a whack across my bottom followed by 2 other whacks on theirs.

I felt so defeated. Embarrassed. Like I had lost an epic battle trying to do something good. Trying to do something that would “save” them. How could my pure motives bring me this? Punishment?? Of all the things.

That was the first of many lessons to come. That lesson that is now finding its articulation in this post, at the age of 43, is that “you can’t save everyone. And, as hard as it is to watch sometimes you have to allow others paths to unfold without interruption. While you think you are interrupting pain, it is more likely that you will be interrupting valuable lessons that will keep that person from pain in the future, when you aren’t around to save them or look out for them.”

As an adult I’ve not really departed from this inclination. I’ve refined it though through my own lessons of pain that weren’t interrupted.

During meditation I was asking myself, “what is next for me?” I’ve created 3 additional businesses that will serve as platforms for my own personal expression, healing messages, joy for myself and others, and another means of ensuring my own stability, as a single woman, one income household. But, they are not ends in and of themselves. They are my children. And, I want to watch after them dutifully, and support them by being their biggest cheerleader. But, that isn’t the end of my journey. It is a hugely satisfying accomplishment, yes. But, obviously that isn’t where my story ends.

This is when I began to cry. I actually cried so hard I began to shake. I began having flash images of memories over the last several years of social media posts, and news headlines, and news stories of our how country and world has erupted into sickness, war, racism, and near elimination of the middle-class.

Between religion, politics, poverty, and humanity’s inability to hold space for others who are different we have created a very sick atmosphere to live in. And, if you are an empath, you like me, probably feel all of this in your body and it is like a personal version of hell.

I’ve felt so trapped. Having a higher perspective and wanting to run to everyone and “get them away from the sink so they wouldn’t experience pain for their choices.”

So, this morning after I asked the question to myself, and to God, “what is next for me?” I heard these words, “She brought us all together again.”

That will be my legacy. These social media posts I do, my YouTube videos, my businesses, my voice are all channels to the goal that I wish to meet and enjoy as I lie on my death bed. And, that is world peace. I don’t care how lofty that sounds. And, I don’t care what any religion, psychologist, sociologist or other teacher says about how that’s not going to happen, or how it can’t happen, or how it has been predicted that we will only ever unwind into an apocalyptic extinction.

While I am here and while I have breath in my body I will strive to help people who are vastly different from each other, join hands and hearts.

There is truly more that unites us than divides us. I want to be intentional about loving my neighbor. And, I want you to be as well.

When we are falling out with each other due to different religions, skin color, economic philosophies, parenting, body image, etc. And, when our planet becomes inundated with a virus that is global. These are symptoms of what is happening in the collective unconscious. There are some bad programs running beneath the conscious awareness of our thought life that is pulling us into a chasm.

I’ve always been naturally ecumenical in nature. Here’s what I mean. I grew up to about the age of 12 or 13 as a Jehovah’s witness. Then around the age of 14 I had the opportunity to attend a Pentecostal church. It was in this setting that I found a place where I could enjoy self-expression in light of my feelings about God. The ecstatic worship services gave me a break from my crisis filled childhood. I got to see other examples than just my own family of origin in how differently people see God and respond to God and live out their beliefs. It was absolutely beautiful to my innocent mind. And, to this day I wish I could go back and experience these types of services. Unfortunately, I cannot and for reasons that would require another long post. For all of its faults, and frailties it gave me something beautiful to take away once I diverged. I gained a lot of confidence to approach and to continue learning about, God. As an adult woman, who was a preacher within a Pentecostal tradition I constantly strove to bring together Catholics, and other protestant denominations. I incorporated their theology into my own and tried my best to preach from that space.

Because I desperately wanted to be a responsible teacher who created and perpetuated unity and because I felt a duty to make sure that everyone who came under the sound of my voice wouldn’t receive only the fundamentals of the faith. They had plenty of that. We are still to this day harped on and harping at each other and everyone else the 10 commandments. What a shame. Even Paul, an Apostle, said we should leave the elementary teachings of the faith behind and go on to greater things. The mysteries of the Christ. Not cause and effect. Not good and bad. Not right and wrong. If your heart is renewed and you’re an ethical person at all you don’t need to be told any of this in order to follow it. There is a lot of wasted breath that could be used to teach people….how not to feel disdain for other religions but rather curiosity. The world’s religions are characterized by what I call, “the big 3.” Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. We are ALL Abrahamic. And, it is a disservice to the messengers of our faith contexts to somehow in our imaginations pit them against each other in a make believe fight for supremacy. How egoic is that? Yuck. God has nothing to do with that in reality. At all.

But, it’s not enough to be religiously or spiritually ecumenical, is it? No. Why? Because even that, as well-rounded as it can seem, STILL disenfranchises humanity. Yes, there is an entire world outside the confines of any religion or spirituality. And, I also want to find myself there. And, you should too. We weren’t created FOR religion. It is not my life purpose, nor is it yours, to die championing the supremacy of your religion. We are here for the purpose of life. LIFE is the purpose of all of us. I’ve discovered this because of death. When you are one breath away from homelessness, when you are sick in your body, mind and relationships….you understand acutely, how pointless religion and its supremacy really is. The only thing that matters is life and love.

There is a famous bible verse, penned by Paul an apostle to a church in Corinth. In 1 Cor. 13:13 he exhorted the congregation by saying, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Let me say this in a way that I hope you will understand:

1. Love is greater than faith.

That’s it. The end.

Love is greater than your faith context. In other words, your faith isn’t nearly as important as your capacity to hold space for people unlike yourself.

As an adult woman I still feel the nature of my girlhood within me. I am still wanting to rescue people and steer them away from all that harms. Even if, AND ESPECIALLY if, that is our own behaviors, and attitudes.

And, that’s what this post is. Me, an as of yet, not college educated, single, white woman in the southeastern United States, whose appearance fits my stereotype. I mean my accent alone sends the message about my stereotype. My accent is…mamaw’s cornbread, with sorghum and grits.

But, I’m here. I’m showing up. In spite of my physical appearance, my accent, my heavily religious background. I’m here. And, I’m pointing to behaviors that will bring us all pain.

I’m urging you…to sit back down. No more than one on the floor. Sit, think and allow curiosity and compassion and consideration and commonalities to saturate your conscience. Allow these things to point you away from divisive behaviors and philosophies.

We really are better together. ALL of us. And, I am joining hands with everyone. Especially people who don’t share anything in common with me other than the fact that we need clean air, clean food, safe neighborhoods, and schools for our children. If that’s it (which it isn’t) that is enough. Love can grow from just those things.

I love you….do you love me?

Yours truly,

Cozett Dunn

December 18, 2022 0

I Have To Move Forward

I’m lying in bed in my dimly lit room from the light of my Himalayan salt lamp. It’s dark and quiet in my apartment. I can hear the low hum of my ceiling fan. Tamber is curled into my chest and arm. I feel the soft vibrations of her purr. I’m alone with my cat. No one can see me. This is a mental snapshot I’m taking because I want to remember the peace and the visual. The sounds and the feelings. I need many more moments like this.

I love the obscurity of this picture. It represents more than just this moment. It represents where I am at in my life at this point.

Everything is so obscure right now. I don’t know what the future holds and I kind of feel in the dark. I’m about to make some major changes and while I don’t quite know what they will look like….I can say this:

Just like in this dark obscure picture where you can make out the soft form of my sweet cat and just like you can feel the peace and calm energy of this post (hopefully) there is something taking shape.

Something soft and comforting after a lifetime of hardness, and fear, and anxiety and disappointment. I can’t fully see it. But, I can feel it. I sense it taking shape. Some kinder and gentler time on the horizon (I hope).

I hear the low hum of its build and I feel the soft purr of it coming alive. I await eagerly but patiently. Please God.. please let 2023 be my year. The year that I move forward in every imaginable way in every arena I wish to find myself. The year that I have my very own song of freedom and never look back.

I promise to go forth with full throated and robust courage. I promise that once opportunity finds my preparation that I will leap with every fiber of my being even if I don’t know where I will land. I swear I will.

November 22, 2022 0

And You Will Know The Truth And The Truth Will Make You Free

My Monday morning meditation has yielded much! In my life I’ve been in pursuit of a better understanding of faith, truth, love, romance, freedom and optimal mental health.

We all have our own unique path. Unique experiences and understanding of the world around us. No two people see any one thing the same. Nuance is an inescapable part of reality.

Years ago I held roundtable discussions with one single question posed to many. And that was, “what is faith?” I could see the result of faith, I saw people struggling to apprehend faith, I heard people talk about the strength of their faith. I began these roundtables in my early 30s. I’m now 43. And because I’ve joined my previously narrow understanding of faith and its power to the reality of the energetic field that though it isn’t visible it is measurable I began to feel it taking shape.

I’m now satisfied in my 13 year search for better understanding about faith.

In addition to this I’ve marveled at the concept of truth and how striving for it pits people against each other. To me this was disgusting. How could the striving for something so pure bring out so much elitism, war, murder and destruction of people and places….all in the name of truth? For a long time due to this ugliness I gave up on truth being a knowable reality. The last 10 years I’ve studied every religion, every major spirituality (with the exception of some small tribal and indigenous belief practices), major philosophies, and of course psychology.

My breakthrough about truth and Jesus’s teaching that it can set us free came from my exploration of physics and metaphysics. When I learned the power of truth…the knowable reality of truth…is found where it is located and that is at the hub of all that is. The Bible was my introduction to the concept of eternity, infinity. And I found that this concept was most appropriately extrapolated by physics and metaphysics. It showed me a growing body of measurable evidence of its existence.

This Monday morning is unlike any other in the life I’ve lived thus far. This morning I have a clear mind, a pure heart, and have been able to find a place of rest and peace concerning 2 of the most important questions in my life. I have peace now about real faith and how it directs the quantum field and the reality that truth cannot be chained or limited because it is by nature unrestricted since it is the still point of infinity…it is the axis in which the past, future, present, potentialities, thoughts, emotions exist simultaneously.

I am now free to move on to a better understanding about love, romance, freedom, and optimal mental health. I am confident that in my pursuit of understanding to experience these things I will do well. I will figure them out. I will figure them all out in a way that will not only serve to better my own existence but the existence of everyone around me. I will…change the world.

I feel inspired. I feel encouraged. I feel proud. I feel happy. I feel free. I feel confident. I feel intentional. I feel free. I feel free. I. Feel. Free.

#cozettcontemplates #truth #wisdom #freedom

November 7, 2022 0

Justice And Poverty: True Justice Has No Need For Charity

Cozett Contemplates justice. It’s not about politics. It’s about justice. It’s about survival. It’s about pushing back the BS and being unapologetic.

Over the last few days I’ve felt impressed to explore my own sense and understanding of justice. The delivery of justice…the reception of justice is intricately tied to our mental health.

Anytime power is taken away from us…

Anytime our boundaries are violated…

Anytime our survival is threatened due to political injustices that never touch the wealthy….

It negatively impacts our mental health. So what happens then?

1. We are told to cope “better”

2. We are told to manage our pennies “better”

3. We are told to stop buying Starbucks coffee (poor people don’t have luxuries to sacrifice like days on the lake, or cut down on vacations, etc.)

4. We go to counseling because we’ve lost our sense of motivation or depression that we just can’t beat and so the message then is, “well you just need to work thru “your” issues

5. Then when all else fails we turn to SSRIs and other medications to help us feel more numb (aka stable).

When all the while it’s not us…it really is…them.

Stress is a killer. Another real estate agent told me earlier today that 4 people in their 40s at her office and in perfectly good health dropped dead…unexpectedly. And it was during their sleep, on vacation, showering, and relaxing.

If you are a sufferer of anxiety, PTSD then you know that’s when anxiety and panic hits.

Having money, earning money, making money…should not be so stressful to the point it kills you. Period. And, no we don’t need counseling, pills, a sabbatical (we can’t afford that anyway), to cope with the economy and stress. We need money. Period.

We need equality when it comes to our most basic survival needs.

I want to see a radical, revolutionary push back to the government and society that perpetuates a culture that wears stress and busy-ness as a badge.

Will you join me?

This isn’t about politics. It’s about justice. And those 2 things have a large chasm in between them.

August 16, 2022 0

Authentic…Unto Death

Sitting here in the dark, dimly lit bedroom I’ll soon never sleep in again. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes sitting with my chunky headphones on listening to, “Return to Innocence” by Enigma on repeat and watching Talia sleep. I’m still processing the last 24 hours when she became suddenly blind. If the past 3 years have taught me anything it is to slow down and spend prolonged time taking in the people, animals, and good memories made.

I stink, I’m sweaty and not even gonna shower before I fall asleep. But, my Talia…she’s blind. And, now I finally realize and regret my own blindness. I’ve allowed everything and everyone to get in the way of me living my life in a more rooted way. A more earthy way. That’s all we really have you know?

A few years ago I read a web article about pet euthanasia. The majority of pets who experience euthanasia do so in the company of the techs and vet and staff because it’s so hurtful to see your fur baby/child to transition in front of you. And, that was absolutely my mindset. But, a few techs and vets weighed in and offered an alternative perspective on pet euthanasia.   They all stated that while they completely understand why pet owners don’t want to be there to witness the event and that they will always respect people’s grief process, they long to see more pet owners be present. Pets have a very small circle of family and friends. In the short span of their lives they will live in a home with family and friends who come and go. So they may only know maybe 10 people give or take for their entire lives. They never get a break from us, haha. But, the thing is they never feel smothered and if it was possible they would stay within our shadow and by our sides every single second for a millenia. Their love and devotion is bottomless, untiring, ever cheerful, ever patient, ever thrilled to hear our voice, see our face, smell our scent. Whether it’s the first time they sniff you or the millionth time their enthusiasm never diminishes or fades, it only brings their hearts that much closer to ours.   They only ever love us more every day they’re alive.

When I read this a light went off. Talia loves me with everything in her. You can literally feel her love energy. And while I am her #1 favorite human she’s like this about any human she’s ever met. Instantly warm, curious, and gentle hoping for some affection and a new friendship. She has never been scared of anything. Loud sounds, thunder storms, shrieks of little ones playing or crying.

In fact when it thunderstorms sometimes she and I go out on the porch and I sit her in my lap and we watch the lightning and feel the rain spray in gently and coolly upon our bodies and faces. When it lightnings I can see the spray on her fur and it looks like dew.

She intently looked up at the sky and followed the lightning streaks with her eyes. Sniffing the wind occasionally for some wild scents. Never flinching, squirming, or tense. Relaxed, intrigued, longing to see what it would feel like up in the sky above her. She is such a brave old girl. Car rides? She loves them. Going for a walk on a leash? Yes, please.

My constant companion whom has shown me much greater and deeper love than the majority of humans who have been in my life.

Because of this I resolved that when the day comes if I am able to have any forewarning of her passing I will hold her in my arms and sing her her favorite lullabys. I’ve reworded I don’t know how many songs to include her name and take her beautiful gentle life into adventure stories, sleepy time songs, and of course my doting love songs over my precious cat. I will stay by her side just like she has mine. My arms, hands, scent and voice, touch, body warmth and love….as much love as any human could ever possibly hold…my love for her will be the last experience she has here. She never left my side and I’ll never leave hers either. Ever. I’ll be holding her and kissing her little knobby head and singing to her until she’s in the arms of the angels.

Her gentleness is like her own cottony fur. So tender and soft you can hardly even feel it touching your skin. She’s so tiny. At the time of this writing she weighs about 6 lbs. She’s a bit underweight even though she’s small.   I’m not entirely sure what breeds she’s made from but she has a tortoise siamese colored coat and deep, dark blue eyes (that now look a bit purple in her blindness). And she’s very short, low to the ground, haha. And her little tail is short. She’s built like a munchkin but has the coat and eyes of a Siamese.

Her little multi-colored paws look like they are ringed in caramel. And she loves belly rubs. And 99% of the time doesn’t attack my hand. That 1% though….she’s got a streak. I guess if she didn’t she wouldn’t have been able to put up with mine and Margo Holder s crap all these years, hahaha. Margo often says that Talia is her spirit animal and believe me when I say, she is not wrong.

At any rate, beyond all of this the last 24 hours of her going suddenly completely blind has opened my eyes to something I’ve decided I want to do that will likely seem odd to more people than not. But, that’s how I roll anyway.

I have deep regrets about not spending as much time with my family and friends as I’d like to. I’ve allowed life to get in the way. And if I allow life to be a stumbling block…what will that mean at death?

For many years now I’ve casually researched death doulas. Most people don’t even know what a doula is much less a death doula. Now, I’m not saying I want to be or am going to be a death doula by profession. But, there are some facets of their work that I am going to implement where it’s appropriate and of course permissible.

I have decided that I want my heart to break wide open and hold my family and friends in my arms as they transition so that it is my hands, my arms, my energy, my truest and deepest love for them to be what they are enveloped in as they transition.

I’ve always been a lover. A hugger…to the point of extreme and strange awkwardness.

But, how can I apologize for that? And, for what reason should I reign it in? Covid-19 wiped millions of people off this planet in the blink of an eye comparatively speaking. And, not just Covid, but wars, disasters, political rhetoric that has risen to the point that brother is against brother. I long for the day to see field upon field joined to pastures and woodlands filled with a great many more plowshares. As it is, sheaths clamor and tremble longing for the bloodied blades to return again for fear of being found guilty before God as being accomplices.

Blood is crying out from the ground but we can’t hear it because the main stream has become the main scream and their volume has driven us to deafness. Our ears dull and listening unskilled. Our mouths boastful, arrogant and insisting on our own rights, or beliefs to be looked at as the pinnacle of truth even if it means the death of another human who doesn’t agree.

No. This world isn’t for me. So, from this point forward I’m going my own way. I’m about to do everything in my life the weirdest and most unconventional way as possible.

Life is valuable. It is precious. Sacred. Holy in its own right. How could I betray it by living anything less than 1000% authentically to who I am, to what my level and intensity of love is like, to cleave to my own philosophies formed circumspectly and carefully? How could I ever be ok with exchanging even the weirdest things about me in lieu of making myself more acceptable?   Life is too short for that. It’s too brilliantly faceted for that. I am committed to being my different self no matter what that looks like or who it may trouble.   Doing death differently…addressing the deeper, intangible components of dying and watching life transform as its vehicle weakens…is when you know you’re a catalyst and have just changed your own trajectory. Forever. I will never be the same after these last 3 years and it took my dear Talia’s blindness to open my eyes to the truth that it is in fact how life should be lived so that when we settle into the arms of death we will embrace it regretless and with the sense of an old dear friend who has come to pay a visit.

I am different. Unto death.

My desire is to be the most open, accepting, loving, heart-centered person you know.   And, if I can be that then don’t thank me or give me any accolades. Thank Margo Holder, my mamaw, my nieces and nephews, my parents, my brothers, and my intimate friends. Because it is them who have shaped me and shown me how weird love is, how unconditional it can feel, and the powerful relief it offers when you’re in the worst pain of your life. We aren’t perfect. None of us are. And far be it from me to close my mind and heart to this human experience.

We are all walking miracles. Our pets included.

August 13, 2022 0

Turkiye

It’s 3:51 am…and I just wanna be in Turkey. I’m curled up under my weighted blanket and have my lamp on dim. My eyes are fixed on the large world map I just put on my wall and my newly updated vision board.

My vision board is too personal to show. But, if you could see it you would see pics of the Turkish flag  and the bright blue water of the Mediterranean.

In my mind’s eye I see me walking down the shore just before sunset. Feeling the fine gravel and tiny rocks of the earthy beach. I’m looking out over the ocean dreaming big about what’s on its way to me.

The work I want to do there. It would be enough for me to sit alone on the beach or in some restaurant. Just to feel the vibration of the culture. The people. Even if I don’t “know” them…I somehow know them. The thrill of simple and honest observation of the buzz of life there is a source of endless curiosity for me.

The pitch and tone of their language is so beautiful. It has a cadence that rings of innocence and purity. The way they carry themselves, their mannerisms, gestures, facial expressions reveal a peculiar inner radiance.
The way they interact with their children is awe-inspiring. There is a depth of uninhibited warmth and reverence for children there. Even when there are public announcements being made it was never a generic, “ladies and gentlemen we will be landing soon…or ladies and genetleman please enjoy the entertainment….” It was always, “Ladies and gentleman and DEAR children….”

Children are always included in their announcements. As someone who suffered a traumatic childhood I LOVE that they feel it important to directly address little ones to keep them informed and make them feel safe and included.

Right now I long to be in some city center there. Perhaps sitting on a park bench across from a mosque . Taking in the opulent and unique and ancient architecture. Observing their going in and coming out and tapping into their energy to see if I can feel if they had some profound spiritual experience.

As an American who has lived my entire life in the Bible belt but also acutely aware that my faith has its roots in Turkey…I have to say the Muslim call to prayer fills me with a deep sense of stillness that makes me feel immediately and instantly grounded and centered. It never fails that I am covered in chills and struggle to keep tears in check when I hear it. The sound overwhelms me and makes me feel so small. So…held by the large unseen force I know as God. I feel enveloped and absorbed into something bigger than myself. Something mysterious. Something grander than my own my aspirations.

I can feel the robust and rolling vibrato on my skin. I feel it within as well. At my core. The resonance seems to shift things inside me.

I don’t know what the future holds for me there. I just know that when my feet touched the earth there I felt like I was at home and was going to be there many more times. I felt a sense of purpose. Dignity. Ambition. Hope. Inspiration. I felt these things more deeply than I ever have. I felt truly alive.

The ripple effect is proving to be a lasting one. My toes are still painted with the Turkish flag as my pedicure is still good. Soon it will fade. But for now everytime I’ve looked at my feet since I’ve been home I get this metaphorical lesson that my feet….belong on Turkish ground.

I won’t be happy until I can feel the earth and sand that is Turkish land sifting between my toes and leaving grit around my nail beds. It’s not enough for me to be some happy tourist. I have a work to be done there. I don’t know what it is. I just know it calls to me day and night. I see it in my dreams and wake up thinking I’m still there only to look out my window and see that I’m still in my little healing haven on a Red Bank cul-de-sac. I love Red Bank. I love Tennessee. I love the beauty of the south here. It’s my springboard and contrast that has led me to pursue and embrace some of my wildest dreams.

From Tennessee to Turkey…who’d have thought? I think my soul always knew though. And not just Turkey but the continents it graces. It is not just a bridge between two continents for me. But, a bridge between worlds. A bridge between realms. A passage between 3D and 5D. A unique trail marked just for me. Harrowing and heartening all at the same time. Beautiful and bittersweet as it’s a line of demarcation marking the moment of one of the greatest transformations of my life. A chaotic catalyst that will never allow me to go back to the way things were. I can never be the same woman I was before I left. Coming back onto US soil I stepped out into the humidity of a southern night on the 4th of July and realized I was having my own personal independence day of sorts. I’d broken free from the tyranny of trauma. I’d emancipated myself. I stepped into the woman I always hoped I’d become. One who had traveled alone and against the odds. There was literally NOTHING in my reality that could have indicated I could successfully pull that trip off. There was plenty of uncertainty and unknowns and fear based illusions that could have held me back.

But I chose to jump into the chasm. I assaulted the abyss of aberration. I dove into the hands of the cosmos and tasked the universe to catch me before I hit bottom or came to a tragic end. And it did just that.

It’s like I experienced zero gravity after my jump. I never went down. Only up. It was disorienting because suddenly reality wasn’t playing by the rules. Things were turning out far better than I could have dreamed. Where I should have fallen I rose. Where I should have stumbled I lifted off the ground and flew. Where I should have ran…I paused and allowed myself to have all the overwhelming sensory experiences that would have ordinarily put me in bed for a week to recover from.

It was like time stood still. Like I had cracked the code to the matrix. I began bending my reality and smithing it. In my hand a hammer and at my feet an anvil. In between was my destiny with lots of heat and fire. The force of my blows shaping it intentionally. Shaping me and my own humanity. My spirit. My essence. With skillful tongs I kept repositioning until all sides had received the proper amount of blows. And then what emerged from the fire and all the beating took me aback. What I witnessed forever changed the way I perceive myself.

Turkey, I promise I’ll be back. I promise I will dedicate some of the best of my life’s energy to exploring you. It feels as though we’re both excited about that.

Cheers to the glory that is you.

Love,
Cozett

#turkiye #turkey #antalya #istanbul #cozettcontemplates #lifecoach #inspiration #blogger #redbanktn #tennessee #borderless #travelblogger #traveltheworld

July 26, 2021 0

Who..Are You Made Of?

For years I have heard the famous saying, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” by motivational speaker, Jim Rohn. Also, “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” This concept has never sat well with me. When I first heard it my immediate instinct was that it is yet another shame tactic wielded at us by toxic positivity culture. It literally felt like a blow to the gut. I got the gist of it. I knew the person quoting it was well intentioned and has a heart the size of Texas. But, still it felt like a bit of a blow. The psychology nerd in me began analyzing the essence of the statement and trying to discern if there was perhaps a bit of an egoic angle that this phrase was birthed in. I also felt it was a very unfair and uninformed statement. What about someone who is part of a dysfunctional family and they live in poverty? Maybe they don’t have access to higher education. Maybe they don’t have a vehicle and so they are at home most of the time with the dysfunctional. And, where they live is a high crime rate but they can’t get out because they have no car and no money. Naturally, they’re going to spend the most time with these people. And, if you’ve ever been poor you know you don’t have the privilege to just up and switch the company you keep. You can’t go from living in the projects to rubbing shoulders with Harvard graduates all because you decide to. It’s not that simple. There is no straight path for this societal transition typically. So, you can see why I felt this statement was a slight moreso than motivational. It takes time, effort, money, opportunity, preparation, and so much more to bridge the contrast between these two worlds.

But, it’s in the liminal space of those two worlds where I find the most motivation, true progress, and the magic of alchemy. For me it’s neither the projects nor the prestige that hold my attention. It’s the thresh hold moments. The crossing. The journey. It’s not the 1st step or the thousandth mile that impress me. It’s the 500th mile. That place where you’ve exhausted all your anticipation energy. The place where you realize you’re a long way from home but still have a brutally long way to go and you’re running on fumes much earlier than you thought you might. It’s where you simultaneously experience the fear of being finally and fully outside your comfort zone but your destination is no where in sight and you’re not sure if you will ever feel safety again. Where you question your resilience and your resolve. Where your self-defeating thoughts bite into your skin because you’re forcing them out of your mind but your heart feels alive with fervored and fevered hope. Where adrenaline wraps around every cell in your body urging you to either fight, flee or freeze. That is the place I am most impressed with. Not the summit. Not the valley. The slopes. The narrow windy paths where you trudge past the bodies of those who didn’t make it. Sounds intense doesn’t it? That’s because the journey of life is intense and because the degree of rewards it offers to those who dare to journey far surpass the degree of the depths suffered. It’s the risk/reward factor. Some of us play not to lose. And some of us play to win. This was a huge mindset shift for me. Super recent so it’s still very fresh in the energy of the motivation it carries.

Now, back to the statement we are unpacking. Recently, I traveled to Turkey. Solo. Me! A person with a history of prolonged and frequent trauma. A person with a history of panic disorder and generalized anxiety. At this moment a middle-aged woman who is overweight. A woman with sleep apnea and hypothyroidism. A woman with Epstein-Barr. A divorced, child-free woman. A former evangelist who became disillusioned and burned out from the pressure of full-time ministry and a full-time sales job that is commission only. A woman with a wild life experience and even wilder dreams and desires. Me.

If you’ve ever traveled through the Atlanta airport you have probably heard it is the largest airport in the world. However, Istanbul airport has expanded and is now larger than Atlanta. This is where my breakthrough came. In Istanbul. Alone. Surrounded by people who couldn’t understand me. Surrounded by signs in a language I didn’t understand. On my way to a paradise called, Antalya. My belief was that what awaited me in Antalya was going to more than make up for enduring my 11 hour flight, 36 hours of no sleep, little to no food, slight dehydration, anxiety, confusion and my F3 responses. I could have never known that it was in Istanbul airport that I would not only conquer those obstacles that existed in the moment but all the fears that had defeated me and stood in my way for a span of 42 years. All of them.

As I landed in Istanbul I fully expected to hop off the plane and experience the relief of a simple journey to my connecting flight. Wow was I seriously uninformed. I come from a family of engineers, addicts, and chaos. When I tell you that I am a planner when it comes to disaster planning…know that I am the epitome of that. I have always been forced to figure out how I’m going to survive. So, I research. I look at all angles and scenarios that could possibly happen that I might need to guard against. Because of this those closest to me feel I am a bit of a pessimist. But, I’ve lived worst case scenarios so often that that thought process had formed a well-worn groove in my brain. For some people missing a flight isn’t a near insurmountable pressure unless of course there is a serious emergency. But, for me to stand in the massive space of Istanbul airport, fighting anxiety, not understanding the language, switching a 20 lbs duffle bag (that had no wheels, ugh) from one shoulder to the next and the strap chaffing my skin, not being understood by anyone I asked for help, knowing that if I missed a flight and had to sleep in the airport with hardly any money to change my flight, not having my cpap machine and a history of sleeplessness….it was a big freaking deal.

So how did I get through this? It certainly wasn’t my planning skills. They were totally out the window upon stepping foot into that airport. The sense of doom I felt was palpable. A man who pretended to be a good Samaritan but ultimately pressured me to give him my money or else was the icing on the cake. I literally stopped in the middle of the airport and doubled over crying. What I didn’t find out until later was that in Turkish culture they believe it is bad luck to panic or express duress. Much like the law of attraction they feel it only draws more duress and effects everyone around who is witnessing it. So, I must have appeared like a walking bad luck charm, ha ha.

So many moments I had to stop walking and drop my duffle bag (which I ditched before I came back home. I would have burned the damn thing if I could have.) I would do breathing exercises and just allow myself to cry and not think about what the masses of people around me thought about my breakdown. I would fix my mind on my future. I would have moments of veil-piercing clarity where I could hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, of God, and Jesus. I could feel the promptings of angelic presence pushing me to keep pressing and getting me unstuck from my freeze response. I began to dig down deep and all that I had learned in my life and believed about myself, whether positive or negative fully surfaced into my conscious mind. All of it. All at once. I was having a life-shattering awakening in the middle of hundreds of people who had no idea who I was or where I came from or where I was going. Nor did they care. My support team of friends and family and ANY person I could have summoned as a safe space or protector was approximately 6,000 miles away. And it was in the ice cold shock of that full realization that my mind began to sift through all of the progress I’ve made concerning healing from trauma and anxiety over the last 3 years…and those who were largely responsible for my enormous growth and healing. The people I had surrounded myself with.

I began to inventory all those I had spent the most time with over the previous 3 years. Before this I had spent several years in isolation from friends and family because I was reeling from the reality of leaving my husband, hating my job, resenting religion and suffering tremendous mental, physical, emotional and financial hardship. I’m like the dog or cat who when they get sick they wander off to die alone. Where no one can find them or see their pain. After facing a life-threatening cancer scare with the brother I grew up with (and whom I loved like a mother because I had to protect him as best I could from our mother) I had exhausted every single tool I had. I was on Paxil and a beta blocker to help me fight anxiety and depression and keep my heart rate under control because the stress had gotten to me so much I was tachycardic. Especially in my sleep. Intuitively I understood that my uncontrollable adrenaline, and inability to socialize was a result of a burned out nervous system. But, as someone with no college degree and no medical training I had NO idea how to understand what my nervous system was doing, how to help it, or if recovering my mental and physical faculties was even a possibility. ALL of what I was learning was initiated by my intuition alone. I began Google researching the nervous system. And by some miracle (or because Google collects our searches and then presents us with content they think we might utilize) I came across an ad on Facebook for some new vitalistic chiropractors in my city. They were advertising an event that was donation only (thank God because I was broke) called, “Dinner with the Docs.” And get this…the event was all about learning about the nervous system and a promise of the ability of the body to heal itself once the nervous system is unblocked and its bandwidth increased. Wow!! What an opportunity! What timing! At this point I had been housebound for almost 30 days waiting on the Paxil to kick in so I could fake normalcy when I finally did have to leave my house. The fatigue from stress had my entire body hurting. My eyes hurt and burned and were super dry all the time from stress. Weird I know. But, it was a symptom for me. So, venturing out to this event was something I perceived as a risk. It could be catastrophic. I could get there and have to walk further than my pounding heart was comfortable with. I could get there and have a panic attack in front of a crowd of strangers. I could get there and they could turn out to be all talk and unimpressive and be peddling a bunch of bunk. And then all that precious hard fought for energy would be wasted. But, the nervous system. If I could learn even a basic function of it I felt confident that I could lean on my intuition to help me gain the knowledge and education to see if there was hope for recovering and feeling even an ounce better than I did. So. I went.

When I arrived they had some great food set out. I remember the pasta salad was on point! ha ha. There was a good crowd of people and I shared a table with several strangers. I sat uncomfortably and on edge praying I wouldn’t panic and that I could stay through the entire presentation. Suddenly some high energy music came on and I knew it was leading to a likely intro to the doctors. I felt immediate skepticism and the high energy music filled me with dread. It was almost triggering for me. Dr. Matt Smith ran out onto the stage high-fiving people with a huge smile on his face. My first thought was, “must be nice to have all that energy.” He spoke only a few moments and then requested that we all stand and lift our hands in the air. He told us to smile the cheesiest smile we could. He told us to lightly march in place. I was like, “c’mon man, really? It’s all I can do to appear sane and now I have to smile and exert myself??” After we did this he instructed us to scan our bodies and see if we didn’t feel at least a measure of more energy. I reluctantly admitted to myself that I did, ha ha. He started out with the first law of thermodynamics that states that “energy cannot be created or destroyed. Only transformed from one form to another.” I was now on the hook. He spent the next 45 minutes explaining in simple terms how the nervous system works and…how we can harness its power. I will never forget one of the lessons I learned about my amazing body that day. He explained that within each human nervous system there is enough electricity to power the city of Chattanooga for 30 days. I knew in that moment that I must have untapped resources within myself in spite of the burnout. My life trajectory changed that day.

The next 3 years I spent the most time going to see him and his amazing wife, Dr. Monica Smith. I also had connected with an amazing counselor that my cousin and best friend recommended. And, she also moved in with me during that time. Later on I met the family members of Dr. Matt and Dr. Monica who are also vitalistic doctors and a functional nutritionist. Every week I was learning something new about the resilience of the body. Every month I attended some extra function or class they offered about neural integration, manifesting your dreams, neuroscience, meditation and breath work classes. I began exploring yoga at a local studio, also at the recommendation of my cousin and connected with more heart-centered and wise healers.

As I stood in Istanbul airport I thought back to every word that Dr. Matt, Dr. Monica, Dr. Loren, Dr. Erica, Dr. Bryan and his wife Stephani had ever said to me or that I heard them teach. I thought on all the times my cousin prodded me into optimism by saying, “anything can happen.” Instead of reflecting on the toxic traits of my family of origin I began to think about their remarkable survival and adaptation skills. My great grandmothers who were pioneer women. My mamaw who raised me and has suffered at least as much trauma as I have if not more because of her age and exposure and how she has lived 86 years and only been to the doctor maybe 3 or 4 times and has never taken medication of any kind to help her cope with the catastrophes that seemed to constantly abound. Miraculously she is a kind and mentally and emotionally stable person. Her fortitude is awe-inspiring. I thought about my mother who in spite of all the pain she caused us and herself probably has the strongest will to live and physical bounce back of any person I’ve ever known. She has overdosed and died at least a half dozen times. She hasn’t taken care of her body. She’s been on ventilators and in ICUs her entire life. She stands at about 5 feet tall and is no bigger than a minute. Yet she has fought off men twice her size and been beat till she bled out into shock. I come from a line of women who seem to defy the laws of nature when it comes to survival. This is my DNA. And, even if those things couldn’t be said of my lineage I am a part of the human race!! There is nothing that has come at us that we have not only survived but thrived in the face of. Blights, wars, famines, plagues, pandemics, astronomical events…and we march right on.

This is where preparation met opportunity for me. My preparation was a combination of my heritage and the people I had surrounded myself with 3 years before I stood in Istanbul airport. And the opportunity that laid before me was to conquer every fear I had ever had. This was about so much more than taking a much needed vacation in an exotic country. I had a dawning realization that I had surrounded myself with the best, brightest, most intelligent and loving doctors and healthcare professionals this world has to offer and they had become friends to me. Confidantes. Allies for my health goals. Allies for my cautious optimism. All I had learned from them was being put into action. Their wisdom, their education, their training, their own intuitive insights, their friendship and support.

In spite of my initial discomfort with that famous statement coined by Jim Rohn I realized in the airport it had become an auspicious truth for me. My gratitude soared in spite of my hampered steps. I looked back and realized that I had gone from being house bound to traveling solo to one of the most wildly interesting countries on the planet. Where east meets west. Where European style is customized by Middle Eastern influence. Me. Little ole stressed out me from Tennessee.

I will never be the same woman I was before I landed in Istanbul. I will never be the same concoction that I was before I met the amazing team at Rev Centre for Optimal Living. I am now enjoying my discovery of not just what I am made of…but who I am made of. And, I pray that you get to experience the same cataylistic power.

Love,

Cozett

July 18, 2021 0

Don’t Suffer The Pain Of Inaction: One Percent More

Today you have an opportunity. Today you have the ability to do 1% more than you did yesterday to achieve your goals and live out your wildest dreams.

For me I’ve always feared the regret of inaction more than the fear of taking the wrong action.

I’ve seen first hand how analysis paralysis and indecision can negatively impact the future of a person. Analysis paralysis is cousin to fear. And, I hate that whole family 

Today I’m issuing you another call to courage. To believe in yourself and your massive intuitive abilities. You CAN trust yourself. YOU are your greatest resource. But, how can you discover the gold mine that is you if you refuse to explore and tap into who you suspect yourself to be.

Are you really that great?? Yes. Yes, you are.

You see it is the core of who you are that is a gift to the world. Unfortunately, from the day we are born until the day we die that core us covered over every day with layers of obligations that are NOT in alignment with our ultimate purpose or deepest desires.

Is it not a gift to be a good son, daughter, wife, husband, aunt, sibling, community organizer activist, etc? Of course it is! But, the secret to a fulfilled life and achieved destiny is not to be these things to the detriment of your soul’s calling.

None of the roles that you operate in should eclipse the expression of your most authentic self. They can be beautiful vehicles for that expression to be sure. But, if you ever find yourself feeling lost to motherhood, fatherhood, being a boss, being a religious leader or whatever then that is a key indicator that your role has eclipsed your soul.

Maybe you’ve been wading around in indecision for a long time. Years perhaps. Maybe you’ve been saying to yourself that if you just had a sign then that would be your permission to set yourself free of all that holds you back. With that said…here’s your sign.

I love you. And I don’t want to see you sacrifice the great adventure that is wrapped up and encoded in your DNA. I don’t want to see you suffer and come to me in counseling one day for the, “I wish I would have…”

My message to you is, “just do it already!” Dive! Take that break. Take that vacation. Open your mind to the things that intrigue you but scare you at the same time because you’re afraid of what people would think…if they knew you…thought.

This is YOUR life and you don’t owe it to anyone. Your life is your own. It’s your puzzle, your mystery, your source of delight, your source of endless curiosity, your compass, your vehicle for radically experiencing planet Earth. The planet is a beautiful and wild place. There are people just waiting for you to cross their path and set them free. To show them the lessons you’ve learned. To offer your depth of insight from the life you’ve learned.

But how will you ever experience that. That satisfaction. If you won’t allow yourself to move forward?

I’m gonna keep issuing this call until there is an entire global revolution at my feet. I can promise you that. It is part of my destiny and wildest dreams to help you achieve yours.

Love,
Cozett

July 18, 2021 0