Why I Became A Travel Agent: My Spiritual Awakening Account In Istanbul Airport

THIS. This is why being a travel agent is so important and meaningful for me.

Travel literally changed my life’s trajectory in ONE trip. I left #chattanooga, #tennessee and when I landed in #istanbul #turkiye…I had a massive, highly visible spiritual awakening in the MIDDLE of Istanbul airport.

I left Chattanooga as a woman who has had over a 20 year struggle with panic disorder and when I got inside of Istanbul airport, on my way to #antalya, Turkiye….I missed my flight.

Now, if you suffer from mental health issues you likely understand how a missed flight is a huge trigger in and of itself. But, let me show you the implications of this missed flight for me and the profound change that took place in me that upgraded my life for the better.

#1. I didn’t speak Turkish and the English on the airport signs wasn’t quite clear. For example, in the restrooms there were signs about conserving trees by using electric hand dryers at the sinks. They encouraged us to limit our paper use saying, “it isn’t good for the nature.” So, it was English but it took some piecing together to fully grasp the message being conveyed. And, when you are overcome with panic your brain is fogged up from adrenaline.

#2. The airport is massive. Larger than the #atlanta #hartsfieldjackson airport. And, I’m overweight and have short legs. So getting through the airport meant I had to move super fast. But, I had no idea where the gates were because I couldn’t understand the signage. So not only was my heart rate rocketing from being in panic but from moving as quickly as I could with a heavy duffle bag that had no wheels, a CPAP machine across my shoulder, a back pack, and a fanny pack. So, here was another trigger.

#3. I had used EVERY PENNY to my name to pay for this trip. I literally had $200.00 in my bank account to last me for 10 days in Turkey. I was at an all-inclusive resort Miracle Resort Hotel so meals were included thankfully. But, can you imagine being a single woman, with panic disorder, in a foreign country where you can’t undesrtand people and they can’t understand you and you are ALONE. I was over 8,000 miles away and dialing 911 or calling a friend or family member to help me wasn’t an option.

#4. The EVIL EYE – Turkish people believe it is bad luck to show distress. They believe it only attracts more problems. I had NO idea about this. I was walking back and forth through this massive airport, crying my eyes out and asking airport employees and strangers for help. ALL of them ran from me like I had leprosy! I thought, “what is with these people?? Why won’t they talk to me?? What about customer service??” Customer service agents were dismissing me because they didn’t want any part of my panicked energy. Here’s another trigger!

#5. One missed flight change can easily cost $200.00 or MORE and that was all the money I had. No credit cards, nothing. My ticket change cost $180.00. So I had $20.00 in case of an emergency for the next 10 days. Trigger!

#6. Depending on when I could catch another flight I wondered how long it would be and if I would have to spend the night in the airport. I had my CPAP machine on me but had left my power convertors in my luggage and again, I didn’t have enough money to buy one at the airport. I have severe central and obstructive sleep apnea. I had already gone 36 hours with NO sleep and was facing possibly not sleeping in the airport because I couldn’t use my CPAP machine. Trigger!!

#7. Shady airport employee- Finally, an airport employee had had enough of me asking him for help and walking from one end of the airport to the other crying. He came up to me and in a stern voice said, “FOLLOW ME.” I was relieved!! But, that relief was going to be temporary! He took me into some hallways where there were no people, led me back and forth through the airport, and I am certain because of him my ticket change had a tacked on fee for him because he spoke to the ticketing agent for me. The ticketing agent kept looking at him like he was asking him to do something he shouldn’t. Every time I opened my phone to call someone he would snap at me, “CLOSE IT! CLOSE IT!!” I was trying to Whatsapp someone so they could see him in case I got into trouble with him. Trigger!!

#8. At a security line- He stopped and put his hand up at me and leaned into my face and said, “I help you. Now…you help me.” He rubbed his fingers and thumb together signaling he wanted cash. I had NONE! I had $20.00 in my bank account. So, I cried and said, “I am so sorry I don’t have any money. I don’t have it. If I had it I would give it to you. I am grateful for your help. Please. I am so sorry.” Who would believe I had no money. An American doing international travel with NO money at all?? I wouldn’t have believe me either. He then led me to a counter.

#9- My heart medication- He then took me to another counter. I have no idea to this day the purpose of this counter. A lady was giving me a tag for the bags I was carrying but then the airport employee demanded that I open my duffle bag to be searched. In that bag I carried my beta blocker, Atenolol. I used it for panic disorder, and whenever I had episodes of tachycardia. He threatened to seize my medication. The lady at the counter looked at him confused. I begged, “no, this is “kalp” (heart in Turkish)” and pointed to my chest.” He finally relented and again sternly said, “FOLLOW ME!”

#10- A fated intervention- There was a young man from Marmaris, Turkey who was fluent in English. He heard me speaking English and in distress with the airport employees and came over immediately and began interpreting and telling them that was my heart medication and that they shouldn’t be searching my bags or seizing my medication. He asked me where I was going, so I told him Antalya. He said, “I’m from Marmaris and I think my gate will be near yours. I can help you.” The lady gave me a ticket (with no gate number still) and I’m not sure how he knew where to go, but he grabbed my duffle bag and said, “c’mon your gate is beside mine but we need to go quick because your flight is about to leave.” So we hustled to the gate and found a spot to sit down together. I told him I was so thankful he intervened because the male airport employee was asking me for money. The young man became very upset. He said, “this gives Turkey a bad name! People like this man! He’s terrible! He shouldn’t have done this. Please don’t think bad of Turkey because of him.” His kindness was salvific. I made my flight and that trip ended up being one of the BEST vacations I’ve ever had!

In the middle of all of these fears, with less resources for help than I’d ever had, I had to dig deep into the healing process I had been practicing 3 years prior to this trip. I had to lean into the fact that I had been doing neural integration to optimize my nervous system and increase my bandwidth for pressure and stress. I had to prove to myself that I believed the empowering words of my doctor friends back home, the words of my therapist, the philosophies I’d taken on from my favorite personal growth gurus.

I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO BELIEVE IN MY BODY and it’s ability to be strong and not die from a heart attack or end up in a foreign hospital with panic and a racing heart. I had to believe that I had the inward power to control my mind so that my previous mental health issues wouldn’t put me in danger or ruin my trip.

This moment taught me how to connect to my body, believe in the fortitude of my mind, and embody adventure in the midst of catastrophe. This is why travel is so important to me. This is why I want to empower others to travel. I’ve not had one panic episode since this trip almost 3 years ago. I am stronger, happier, and more centered than I’ve ever been. And, I am here to help you create that reality for yourself…via travel.

Your trusty travel agent,

Cozett Dunn

For travel deals, perks and insider information on travel and to sign up to my free newsletter visit: www.cozettdunn.inteletravel.com

January 2, 2023 0

Cozett Contemplates: Divergence

My journey is sacred. My path is unique.

Cozett Contemplates divergence…

At the end of 2022 I made a conscious decision. An agreement with the future Cozett. The woman I wish to reflect on from my death bed.

I decided that I would no longer make any decisions based on haste. I would make no decisions that would lead me away from my own happiness. Not even for a day. I’ve spent too many days (nearly 44 years worth of days) basing all I do on pouring my life’s essence into the happiness of others so that I wouldn’t incur any discomfort….from them being uncomfortable. There is no life in that. It’s been a journey of fleeing. Running from one person to the next trying to put smiles on faces, make people feel supported, and most of all…getting their approval. Because their approval would mean my survival.

At nearly 44 years of age, the wisdom of middle-age has finally graced my understanding. And, she has shown me that to live this way, is to live in a constant state of emotional travesty. My whole life, up until this point, has been like a coup. A coup staged by my shadow self. My shadow, comprised of fear, alienation, feelings of abandonment and rejection, and pessimism. I was overthrowing my own power because I felt that my power….was weak. Weak in comparison to everyone around me. So weak that I felt it necessary to replace my personal power in hopes of receiving the security of power outside myself. Security, protection, provision. All done through the avenue of people pleasing. I got so bad with it that I was people-pleasing dangerous and ill-intentioned people. My conscience would scream, “you know they are bad news!! No inspiration or motivation or money or love you can give them will help them and they will in turn HARM YOU, COZETT!!” But…I did it anyway. I did it because I had zero belief in myself and that I could ever offer anything of worth to the world that would both ensure my security and affect meaningful change for humanity.

Even as I type this, the articulation of it all, is blowing my mind. Honestly, it takes a heck of a lot of self-awareness to assess oneself so objectively. And, it also takes a lot of willingness to demonstrate the courage to know oneself this deeply. The deep is a scary place. There’s not much light. You have to deal with a lot of shadows which means you have to fine tune your soul to sift through illusion and not spook so easily when it comes to pulling back the curtains of your own psyche to see what’s there.

I no longer see my life as a journey that “happens TO me” but rather I’ve positioned myself, through shadow work so that I can channel my energy in a way where MY life….”happens THROUGH me.”

There are no detours in the Divine. The divine you. When life happens “to” you, your whole path can be nothing but a detour. You can never follow out what your heart desires because you are too busy fulfilling the desires of others so you have to make U-turns, take toll roads, and bloody your feet by paths filled with briars, and crag. Ultimately, when you live for others, you are intentionally choosing and agreeing to take the long way to arrive at your own destiny. You’re telling your soul that it doesn’t carry the value or worth of taking the straight path, the destined path, the one that actually calls to you.

I can’t believe I have waited this long. Yet, I don’t feel bogged down with regret. I know that I couldn’t have seen then what I now see. I wasn’t capable. The emotional travesty that I intentionally chose had me blinded. And, I also think that to some degree I considered myself young enough to keep putting off my heart’s desires because I had, “time.” This is one of the great gifts of mid-life. The wake-up call. A conscious recognition that in spite of how well you take care of your body and mind…this will all come to an end. I want my end to be in health, in love, in passion, in the sobriety that is informed from severe suffering. A woman wide awake. A woman who maintained the magic of being a little girl in spite of her crucible. Sagic wisdom now finds its expression in me physically. In action. In my decisions. In my voice. In the crow’s feet forming around my eyes and in the small furrow of my brow. Plowed by intense, prolonged consternation and contemplation on why I am the way I am, and why the world around me is the way it is.

My prayer for everyone who reads this, is that you will learn from my lessons. If you are younger than me…please don’t put off following your happiness and being true to yourself. Be authentically you regardless of any perceived consequences of that. If you are my age or older…I give you the same advice. It is true that maturity and wisdom are not necessarily correlated with age.

Your journey…is sacred. And, your path is unique. Don’t you long for people to experience you as you really are? I encourage you to diverge. I encourage you to emerge. Diverge from the paths that people have forced you onto. And, you will emerge….as who you really are.

#cozettcontemplates #Divergence #newyear2023 #TimeToRise #Authenticity #shadowwork #middleagedwoman #wisdomoftheday #inspiration #motivation #motivationmonday

January 2, 2023 0

Cozett Contemplates Security: Detaching From Struggle

Cozett Contemplates her security…

Before my meditation this morning, I was doing self-inquiry to see what my soul wanted to see come into my conscious awareness. I have learned well how important it is to do self-inquiry because not asking yourself questions leads to a life of undesirable, and vicious cycles that leave you feeling confused and frustrated and broken.

The issue of my own security came up. I think for various factors (that I will list momentarily) I’ve conditioned myself to ONLY be able to experience security when great struggle can precede it. And, only then will I allow myself to relax or acknowledge that my survival is being ensured. If you follow me closely, you know that I talk as openly as I can about my traumatic childhood and adolescence. From as early as the age of 4 I was tasked with taking care of myself. At the age of 5 I would get myself ready for headstart (like a preschool) and walk to the end of my driveway to the school. When I got home from headstart I would stand in a chair and do dishes, then because I wasn’t strong enough, my mother would run my bath and I would bathe, lay out my clothes for the next day, set my alarm and go to bed to do it all again the next day. I LOVED headstart. I LOVED my teacher! Mrs. Charlene Withrow. I will never forget that woman. In retrospect I now know she was deeply concerned about my living situation and she would periodically make home visits and always bring me…DONALD DUCK ORANGE JUICE!! It had a metal peel tab and a cool 1980’s Donald Duck print on a tiny cylindrical can. I didn’t get to grow up celebrating Christmas due to my grandmother’s religion but every time Mrs. Charlene showed up with Donald Duck Orange Juice, I felt like the luckiest child. It felt like what I would imagine my friends felt like on Christmas morning.

Nothing came easy growing up. My grandfather worked his cattle farm 7 days per week and worked at TVA 5 days per week and he never took a day off as long as he lived. He would go even when sick. He also suffered from migraines as many in my family do and how he managed to function on Goody and BC Powders while working so hard I will never know. But, what I do know is that same work ethic found itself in me, albeit in a bit of a physically weaker vessel. Though I do have my own feats in light of long bouts of illness both mentally and physically. I am proud of what I have accomplished while carrying loads that many will never understand. Working multiple jobs, owning multiple businesses, being unwaveringly patient and kind with others (which is definitely me being “too nice” too often and yes that annoys me) while maintaining privacy about my lack of security or staggering mental health issues (mostly behind me now!) it has not been easy. So, this too has conditioned me, I have conditioned myself with the experiences and emotions of being in constant struggle praying for it to payoff.

Between my childhood and adolescent context and my subsequent struggles in my adult years, it’s never really been at the forefront of my conscious awareness that I can experience security without grueling and nearly obliterating struggle.

Now, my age plays into this well. At the time of this writing I am 43 years old. Soon to be 44. I come from a different time. Up until my generation it was the cultural norm and still is in many places, both in the US and around the world, that unless you were born into wealth life would and should indeed be hard to EARN with struggle every penny. I mean, look at my grandfather. Because of his hard work my grandmother is still surviving today. He never got to enjoy the fruit of his labor though. We took 1 vacation growing up and…God love him, he was miserable and nervous and cranky the whole time. He was always cranky, really. But, he couldn’t relax, he fussed and cussed the whole time. We never did a vacation again. I was about 14 years old. People in my age group and older grew up seeing parents and grandparents who, in their lifetimes may have been some of the first people to get electricity, they used outhouses instead of bathrooms in a home, they lived off the land planting massive gardens and tending to livestock. They were the people of Appalachia, people of pioneering lifestyles.

My cousin Margo Holder and I often talk about our grandmother, Nona Schouggins. She lived on Big Ridge here in Hixson before it became full of subdivisions. It was because of her that electricity finally became available on Big Ridge. She was a medicine woman, a pioneer woman, a healer, an herbalist, she was tough mentally and physically and sometimes emotionally. But, her love held so many together in a secure embrace. Her sureness conveyed a sense of security to everyone who had the privilege of being in her life. But, her sureness came from her the tenacity that was required from her in order to ensure her own survival. Her sureness came as a result of her struggle.

So, a precedent had been set for many generations that has and is thankfully being up-ended by the advent of some serious technology. Having indoor plumbing and electricity has been a game changer for humanity. But, having internet and the ability to have visibility that can, in many cases lead to being paid, having a form of security financially by becoming an “influencer.” The ability to speak to a broad audience, from the heart about one’s experiences and wisdom has taken us from the requirement of struggling to survive to simply speaking your truth and being able to thrive.

This is where my security will come from. While I am decently healthy, I am not, and have never been able to hold a 9-5 job or a job that requires a lot of physical exertion. I have sleep disorders that won’t allow me to have a perfectly ordered work week at a traditional job. And, as of yet I don’t have a college degree. So, 9-5’s are out, warehouse jobs are out, and my goal of one day having my own counseling practice is out until I can finish my degree. As of right now, I am maxed out on my student loan amounts and I haven’t even been able to finish my bachelor’s degree. I need a minimum of a master’s degree to have my own practice. And, at almost 44 years old with maxed out school loans the likelihood of that ever happening is slim unless I just fall backwards into loads and loads of cash.

So, what does this mean for me? I HAVE to be creative. I have to own my reality by owning my own businesses. Thankfully, this is something I enjoy. But, does it mean I have to remain in a grueling state of struggle and uncertainty about my future? About my security in general? At first glance, looking at my lack of a degree, my age, my health (which again, isn’t terrible) if my security depends on “WORK work” then….I’m screwed.

But, with the technology that we now have, there is no reason why I can’t leverage that and forge my path, my security, in an alternative manner. I won’t be retiring from TVA and I am not the pioneer woman that my grandmother was. I do, however, carry deep wisdom, sureness that has come from the all encompassing struggles of my life. And, just like my grandmother, because of this sureness, this steadfastness of soul I am often told that people feel a deep and profound sense of hope and optimism and encouragement when they’re around me. I have, “feel good” energy. People tell me they feel they can be totally open and unashamed around me. They know they can tell me anything and trust that their secrets will never find their way into the ears of unintended audiences. People feel safe and at peace around me. And, it is because of how hard I’ve had to work to create peace in the chaotic life I’ve lived. I’ve had to be my OWN center. My OWN safe place. My OWN therapist. My OWN source of income. My OWN doctor. And, all of these abilities has had to come by following my intuition and what I know about my body, my mind, my emotions, and the extent of abilities.

So, for 2 days I have received a message from my soul. It spoke a few days ago quietly calling me out about, “being attached to struggle.” Then today my soul’s voice grew a bit louder. And, these words came to me, “You deserve to experience an emotional state free from loss, fear, danger and risk.”

I have never in my life had an emotional state that hasn’t included fear, loss, danger or risk. One of the happiest times in my entire life thus far was when I ventured to Turkiye. To the other side of the world, all by myself. But, even that time and the times I visited since the first, haven’t been free from fear of loss or danger or risk. I always find myself worrying about how I will pay my bills when I get back home. Feeling as if I’m going to be punished for eeking out an enjoyment that many take for granted.

I have no idea what an emotional state without the feeling of loss, risk or danger will feel like. I only know that I deserve to experience that. I deserve to live in that as a normal state of being. I deserve to know what it feels like.

I will be letting go of my attachment to struggle. I deserve to live a life of security that isn’t tied to constant struggle. In reality, because of all of the tech tools and social platforms this is more possible for me now than ever before. And, I’m showing up. I’m here to speak my truth and share wisdom and hope with others who know what it is to struggle. I am here to be a messenger of hope. An agent of peace. A global force for good in uniting humanity and calling out the poisonous and subtle tactics employed to divide us. This is my calling. And, this will be my peace. To know that I brought peace. Security…will be my security.

I hope it will be yours as well.

Lots of love,
Cozett Dunn

#cozettcontemplates #thestruggle #security

December 28, 2022 0

Destiny Leads The Willing And Drags The Unwilling: Identifying Our Resistance To Greatness

I heard a famous quote by Seneca earlier. “Fate leads the willing; the Unwilling it drags.”

Recently, I’ve been exploring “counter-manifesting.” We hear a lot about having faith, thinking positive, and manifesting our dreams. That is all great. These tools (faith, positivity, and confidence in our creating) are absolutely wonderful and more of us need to operate in these things more consistently. However, if you hold defeating visions or limiting beliefs in your subconscious you will manifest more slowly and with much resistance.

Here’s what I mean. Say you have a really big goal and you’re studying about the law of attraction, you’re exercising your faith and you’re thinking positive thoughts and really leaning into what emotions you will feel once you achieve that goal BUT deep down you don’t believe yourself worthy of receiving those things…then you’re likely going to experience a slowness of getting to your goal. You will probably have lots of ups and down in your emotions where you have to “try” to believe and “try” to push off “negative” emotions…and drive yourself crazy in the process trying to get to what you want.

When we are born we come into this world with no sense of identity. We arrive as pure consciousness. Once we are born then layers are added on top of our consciousness by people outside ourselves and the circumstances into which we are born. We are pure potential. But, maybe you have or had parents with fears of success. Maybe you were born into severe poverty. Or, perhaps you were born in a country that restricts your freedoms based on your gender or religion. Many many layers outside of our control are heaped on top of us and those layers are internalized. Those layers are what I call, “psychic substrates.” A fascia of sorts for the psyche. And, if we are to reach our goals and see ourselves as we truly are we have to be WILLING to sift through and work with the shadow of our subconscious. Many people refuse to get still or meditate because being still means their conscious mind will be met with the issues that aren’t comfortable to acknowledge or address. We may feel overwhelmed by what we perceive would take a lot of time to work through. And, time is scarce. Especially if you live in a culture that glorifies work over mental health. Time is the first thing we need to reclaim to truly take our power back. On that note, I encourage you to inventory areas of your life where if you need to assert a boundary to free up more time, then please do it. Don’t fall into the trap of workaholism or screen time trying to escape the things you really need to know about yourself if you’re going to create the ultimate reality for yourself and those you care about.

In another article I will talk about “how” to explore your subconscious successfully without feeling afraid or overwhelmed. But, for now I just need you to become willing. That’s all the focus is for this article. So, let’s dive into the implications of this famous saying of Seneca. Clearly, you probably first understand this is an issue of mindset. Remember earlier I said you can do all the right things (aka work on your mindsets) and still not hasten or reach your goals? It is this thing, your natural response to your future that determines whether or not you feel led or like you’re being dragged. If deep down you truly don’t believe you are destined for greatness or to have great things then all the work you do will be like laying silk on top of sewage hoping for a smooth and clean path to walk. Sewage stinks. Who knows exactly what is in there. If you touch it could spread disease. If not controlled it creates disruption. See where I’m going with this? The limiting beliefs we hold are like sewage. We may feel afraid to even touch it because of how much it stinks, how disruptive it will be, and put off because we don’t know exactly what’s in it.

Now, here’s where we alchemize this “septic psychic substrate.” What if, as you began to approach this sewage, you noticed that it didn’t quite smell as strong as you thought it might? So, you get a bit closer while grasping your silk. Then as you get closer you begin to notice it’s not as murky but has an opaque quality to it. So, relaxing a bit, you walk up to the very edge of it, and to your surprise you discover it is in fact a sparkling, crystal clear pool of life-giving water. One of the first emotions you might feel is, “ahh! I wish I had come to this sooner! This water could have been nourishing me and refreshing me along this path!” You then decide to scoop your hands into it and it feels so perfect. So cool and refreshing but not too cold. And, you notice it’s deep. Quite deep. So instead of using your silk to cover it all over, you wrap it around your body like a swim suit and SPLASH! You go all in and dive into the deep pool of healing and refreshment. You float and enjoy the clear sky above you. You notice the droplets of water beaded up on your skin. And, you feel….AMAZING. And, from this surprise refreshment you are able to proceed on your path with a skip in your step because the discovery of it changed your mind about it. You saw it clearly for yourself without putting off exploring it because you originally believed it to be too dirty to deal with it.

So, at what point DID the sewage alchemize? When you started off you held a belief it was too much. But, as you approached you noticed it didn’t quite carry the scary and gross characteristics you truly believed it did. At what point did it actually change into life-giving water? It happened in increments. It happened in the emotion of WILLINGNESS to approach IT that IT became clear and refreshing. This is how we transform things. We musn’t be afraid to touch them.

Now, that your underlying belief has changed you won’t have any subconscious resistance to the positive mindsets you are implementing! You can now fully enjoy believing that you are in fact great and destined for greatness and when you receive promptings from Spirit, from God, from the Universe, your natural response will be to feel curious and adventurous and you will find yourself going after your wildest dreams! You will find yourself being led…not being dragged. So, if you’re looking for a sign to believe in yourself with radical, outrageous, and cocky confidence…this is it!! Permission granted.

With love,

Cozett Dunn

Cozett Contemplates

December 21, 2022 0

She Brought Us All Together Again: Love Is Greater Than Faith

Cozett Contemplates how she brought us all together again…

This morning my meditation released a lot of stored emotion I have about the division we’ve faced collectively over the last several years.

I don’t think I realized how deeply it has affected me.

All my life I have been a peace keeper of sorts. Human suffering has always bothered me. Always. And, I’ve always had this drive to help everyone I can to avoid suffering, consequence, and repercussion.

When I was in 1st grade, I was in a shared classroom with kindergartners. Our teacher is to this day still the favorite teacher I ever had. I remember her that clearly. Originally, Miss Gregory, then she got married and became Mrs. Aldridge. I loved her. She had one big rule for our classroom. And that rule was, “NO MORE THAN ONE ON THE FLOOR.”

She knew how frenetic young children can be and this was one way to keep order, peace, flow in our classroom.

One day while doing a writing lesson, I noticed two kindergartners at the sink. One had gone up to wash his hands from some finger painting they were doing. Then his friend got up and walked to the sink as well and was whispering in his ear. I remember feeling fear, feeling frantic, because I didn’t want them to get in trouble.

So, while they were talking at the sink, I decided to “risk it all” as much as a first grader can! ha ha. I thought, “if I can get to them before she does and get them to sit back down then it will be worth the risk of becoming the 3RD person on the floor!”

So, I quickly got up and walked up to the two boys and said quietly, “you all aren’t supposed to be up here. No more than one on the floor. You’re going to get in trouble.”

Suddenly, from out of nowhere came a whack across my bottom followed by 2 other whacks on theirs.

I felt so defeated. Embarrassed. Like I had lost an epic battle trying to do something good. Trying to do something that would “save” them. How could my pure motives bring me this? Punishment?? Of all the things.

That was the first of many lessons to come. That lesson that is now finding its articulation in this post, at the age of 43, is that “you can’t save everyone. And, as hard as it is to watch sometimes you have to allow others paths to unfold without interruption. While you think you are interrupting pain, it is more likely that you will be interrupting valuable lessons that will keep that person from pain in the future, when you aren’t around to save them or look out for them.”

As an adult I’ve not really departed from this inclination. I’ve refined it though through my own lessons of pain that weren’t interrupted.

During meditation I was asking myself, “what is next for me?” I’ve created 3 additional businesses that will serve as platforms for my own personal expression, healing messages, joy for myself and others, and another means of ensuring my own stability, as a single woman, one income household. But, they are not ends in and of themselves. They are my children. And, I want to watch after them dutifully, and support them by being their biggest cheerleader. But, that isn’t the end of my journey. It is a hugely satisfying accomplishment, yes. But, obviously that isn’t where my story ends.

This is when I began to cry. I actually cried so hard I began to shake. I began having flash images of memories over the last several years of social media posts, and news headlines, and news stories of our how country and world has erupted into sickness, war, racism, and near elimination of the middle-class.

Between religion, politics, poverty, and humanity’s inability to hold space for others who are different we have created a very sick atmosphere to live in. And, if you are an empath, you like me, probably feel all of this in your body and it is like a personal version of hell.

I’ve felt so trapped. Having a higher perspective and wanting to run to everyone and “get them away from the sink so they wouldn’t experience pain for their choices.”

So, this morning after I asked the question to myself, and to God, “what is next for me?” I heard these words, “She brought us all together again.”

That will be my legacy. These social media posts I do, my YouTube videos, my businesses, my voice are all channels to the goal that I wish to meet and enjoy as I lie on my death bed. And, that is world peace. I don’t care how lofty that sounds. And, I don’t care what any religion, psychologist, sociologist or other teacher says about how that’s not going to happen, or how it can’t happen, or how it has been predicted that we will only ever unwind into an apocalyptic extinction.

While I am here and while I have breath in my body I will strive to help people who are vastly different from each other, join hands and hearts.

There is truly more that unites us than divides us. I want to be intentional about loving my neighbor. And, I want you to be as well.

When we are falling out with each other due to different religions, skin color, economic philosophies, parenting, body image, etc. And, when our planet becomes inundated with a virus that is global. These are symptoms of what is happening in the collective unconscious. There are some bad programs running beneath the conscious awareness of our thought life that is pulling us into a chasm.

I’ve always been naturally ecumenical in nature. Here’s what I mean. I grew up to about the age of 12 or 13 as a Jehovah’s witness. Then around the age of 14 I had the opportunity to attend a Pentecostal church. It was in this setting that I found a place where I could enjoy self-expression in light of my feelings about God. The ecstatic worship services gave me a break from my crisis filled childhood. I got to see other examples than just my own family of origin in how differently people see God and respond to God and live out their beliefs. It was absolutely beautiful to my innocent mind. And, to this day I wish I could go back and experience these types of services. Unfortunately, I cannot and for reasons that would require another long post. For all of its faults, and frailties it gave me something beautiful to take away once I diverged. I gained a lot of confidence to approach and to continue learning about, God. As an adult woman, who was a preacher within a Pentecostal tradition I constantly strove to bring together Catholics, and other protestant denominations. I incorporated their theology into my own and tried my best to preach from that space.

Because I desperately wanted to be a responsible teacher who created and perpetuated unity and because I felt a duty to make sure that everyone who came under the sound of my voice wouldn’t receive only the fundamentals of the faith. They had plenty of that. We are still to this day harped on and harping at each other and everyone else the 10 commandments. What a shame. Even Paul, an Apostle, said we should leave the elementary teachings of the faith behind and go on to greater things. The mysteries of the Christ. Not cause and effect. Not good and bad. Not right and wrong. If your heart is renewed and you’re an ethical person at all you don’t need to be told any of this in order to follow it. There is a lot of wasted breath that could be used to teach people….how not to feel disdain for other religions but rather curiosity. The world’s religions are characterized by what I call, “the big 3.” Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. We are ALL Abrahamic. And, it is a disservice to the messengers of our faith contexts to somehow in our imaginations pit them against each other in a make believe fight for supremacy. How egoic is that? Yuck. God has nothing to do with that in reality. At all.

But, it’s not enough to be religiously or spiritually ecumenical, is it? No. Why? Because even that, as well-rounded as it can seem, STILL disenfranchises humanity. Yes, there is an entire world outside the confines of any religion or spirituality. And, I also want to find myself there. And, you should too. We weren’t created FOR religion. It is not my life purpose, nor is it yours, to die championing the supremacy of your religion. We are here for the purpose of life. LIFE is the purpose of all of us. I’ve discovered this because of death. When you are one breath away from homelessness, when you are sick in your body, mind and relationships….you understand acutely, how pointless religion and its supremacy really is. The only thing that matters is life and love.

There is a famous bible verse, penned by Paul an apostle to a church in Corinth. In 1 Cor. 13:13 he exhorted the congregation by saying, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Let me say this in a way that I hope you will understand:

1. Love is greater than faith.

That’s it. The end.

Love is greater than your faith context. In other words, your faith isn’t nearly as important as your capacity to hold space for people unlike yourself.

As an adult woman I still feel the nature of my girlhood within me. I am still wanting to rescue people and steer them away from all that harms. Even if, AND ESPECIALLY if, that is our own behaviors, and attitudes.

And, that’s what this post is. Me, an as of yet, not college educated, single, white woman in the southeastern United States, whose appearance fits my stereotype. I mean my accent alone sends the message about my stereotype. My accent is…mamaw’s cornbread, with sorghum and grits.

But, I’m here. I’m showing up. In spite of my physical appearance, my accent, my heavily religious background. I’m here. And, I’m pointing to behaviors that will bring us all pain.

I’m urging you…to sit back down. No more than one on the floor. Sit, think and allow curiosity and compassion and consideration and commonalities to saturate your conscience. Allow these things to point you away from divisive behaviors and philosophies.

We really are better together. ALL of us. And, I am joining hands with everyone. Especially people who don’t share anything in common with me other than the fact that we need clean air, clean food, safe neighborhoods, and schools for our children. If that’s it (which it isn’t) that is enough. Love can grow from just those things.

I love you….do you love me?

Yours truly,

Cozett Dunn

December 18, 2022 0

Rain Falling Forward

Times of refreshing rain falling on me falling forward

I turned to my inner sea and collapsed shoreward

Rising from the black sand beach of my subconscious

Walls closing in around me I must become dauntless

My time here has come to end. My time here is about to fall backward

May it collapse into the unconscious sea for it never was truly me

I learned something the other day while I was reading, “Flowers On The Path.” And that is the karma of living unaligned invites wrath.

I read this book by Sadhguru, my Indian mystic, the one I aspire to emulate.

It was the rain falling forward that knocked me from this path of wrath

It was the rain falling forward that was my footpath

Solar plexus has become my lexis

I’ve learned to trust my gut

My pivotal nexus gives assurance so I strut

From one country to the next all around the globe

In the soil of every country I become their microbe

Giving life to the foundation of all we are and need

My happiness demands I elude the greed

Hermetic aesthetic

My soul won’t fit in a corporate hole

Capitalism is apathetic

Because it deems the hermit pathetic

So narrow. Only preying it knows

But, I plan to take it down with the gift of my prose

The great whore who preys upon the people

The great whore who has made it’s home under the steeple

I will write until my writing becomes a freedom song

Liberating the inhabitants of the earth and making them strong

A mother to the nations I’m calling first the east, then the north

Before I venture to the south and call them all forth

I give up entirely on the west. It is from where I came

It’s way of life nearly made me lame. I will leave it to another creature

Or perhaps to the lukewarm church and its favorite hateful preacher

Were it not for the falling forward rain

My life would still be subject to drain

But, I am moving forward now in this beautiful falling forward rain

November 24, 2022 0

Forward

I want to take my poetry world wide. I want to do book tours all over the globe and have opportunities to share my poetry on every continent. It’s all I think about these days. It is “the” hope that I hang on to. I envision a life where I can live my life….by living MY life. Not a corporate life, not a 1099 contractor life, not the typical American life.

I am not college educated unfortunately. I may eventually have a bachelor’s in psychology. But, beyond that because of my age and the fact that I am tapped out on student loan availability, it is highly unlikely I’ll have that accomplishment and the wage that a degree can ensure. I am almost 44. Child free and overweight as of right now. I have a fiancé. But, I’m not truly confident because I feel very insecure and even though I’ve told him how I need to be loved neither of us are confident he will be able to do that.

I am desperate to be financially independent. No degree, no 2nd income in my household. I feel hopeless. I feel afraid because I don’t have anything that can secure my future. If I stay in America I am bound to the wages of a high school graduate and I cannot work for myself doing real estate anymore because the toll it has taken on my mental health has..in many ways destroyed me. Even as I type this I am simultaneously worrying (which is work) about bizarre transactions and how to control the chaos and not be chewed out or threatened.

I’m tired but I have to be able to depend on my body to earn money according to the obligations and interests of someone with more money than myself. Dictates my chronically ill body is getting more difficult to fulfill as I age. Can anyone else out there relate to me? I feel alone.

My greatest gift, my greatest resource is my mind and my writing ability. It’s the one thing in this life I have that could potentially position me for security. I am tired of living under fear of eviction. I need more than I am able to physically produce. I need more than the wage of a high school graduate.

I have done all I can. Truly. All I can do now is keep writing, thinking, writing, thinking and pray that when I look up again my world will have changed and I will have a husband who burns to love me exactly the way I need. A man who promote my relaxation, security, and peace and not take it all away or even contribute to those things to begin with.

So, here I am on my free WordPress account. Typing out my thoughts, my woes, my poetry, my points. It is my form of preparation so that when opportunity arrives hopefully my one hope to be so famous as a writer and thinker that it can sustain me financially.

Right now I have a book I have finished. I have an appointment with an editor on Tuesday. Right now because I am on my cycle and my body hurts all over and I am so exhausted I feel doubtful it will end up betting published because I don’t know how to publish. I’ve tried to learn about and have played around on Kindle. But, I am seriously not smart when it comes to technology and formatting my writing.

I believe, ultimately, I am going forward. It’s just hard when my body feels the way it does.

My hope as I end 2022 is that in 2023 my fiancé can love me the way I need, my book will be published in both the USA and India, and that I will finally come into financial security. Do I want to be rich? Very much. Because I am so tired of being poor. I can hardly afford being a single woman with a cat and I am VERY low maintenance. I get my hair done. That’s it. No nails, lashes, Botox, shoe obsession, purse obsession, jewelry obsession, perfume, makeup….you get the picture. I drive my cousin’s car because I lost mine due to gas prices several months ago.

I need out. The only way out is if I can write my way. I will give it all I’ve got. I am so ready for 2022 to be over. I need next year to be my year. I need it. I want it for me and my cat and my cousin. By the end of the year or at least early next year I plan on resigning my real estate license. I would rather work at a gas station then look at or talk about real estate, houses, or contracts ever again. It’s a toxic industry. I’ve missed years upon years of family events, fun with friends and for what? For people who treat me unkindly and for a career that hasn’t allowed me a non-working vacation since 2011? Sorry. But, I’m saying it. FUCK that shit. FUCK it. It’s not me and I’m at the end of my rope with it. I’m done. I cannot wait to change my phone number. I cannot wait to delete my email address or cancel it or whatever. I can’t wait to announce on my social media that I am no longer in the industry. I can’t wait to be me. I can’t wait to feel free. I can’t wait to move out of this area and hopefully out of the country, at least for a while.

I have my eye on India. Whether me and my fiancé work out or not I plan on spending some months there in peace and quiet and not be fucking bothered by real estate or people who wish to drain my energy period. I need a fresh start. And I may be broke. But, I will start fresh even if I am broke. I’m not stopping, hesitating, or halting. I am done.

So, as I lay here I have no idea who will read this. If anyone will read this. But, anyway, here I am. And there…I will be.

Cheers,

Cozett

November 24, 2022 2

I Have To Move Forward

I’m lying in bed in my dimly lit room from the light of my Himalayan salt lamp. It’s dark and quiet in my apartment. I can hear the low hum of my ceiling fan. Tamber is curled into my chest and arm. I feel the soft vibrations of her purr. I’m alone with my cat. No one can see me. This is a mental snapshot I’m taking because I want to remember the peace and the visual. The sounds and the feelings. I need many more moments like this.

I love the obscurity of this picture. It represents more than just this moment. It represents where I am at in my life at this point.

Everything is so obscure right now. I don’t know what the future holds and I kind of feel in the dark. I’m about to make some major changes and while I don’t quite know what they will look like….I can say this:

Just like in this dark obscure picture where you can make out the soft form of my sweet cat and just like you can feel the peace and calm energy of this post (hopefully) there is something taking shape.

Something soft and comforting after a lifetime of hardness, and fear, and anxiety and disappointment. I can’t fully see it. But, I can feel it. I sense it taking shape. Some kinder and gentler time on the horizon (I hope).

I hear the low hum of its build and I feel the soft purr of it coming alive. I await eagerly but patiently. Please God.. please let 2023 be my year. The year that I move forward in every imaginable way in every arena I wish to find myself. The year that I have my very own song of freedom and never look back.

I promise to go forth with full throated and robust courage. I promise that once opportunity finds my preparation that I will leap with every fiber of my being even if I don’t know where I will land. I swear I will.

November 22, 2022 0

And You Will Know The Truth And The Truth Will Make You Free

My Monday morning meditation has yielded much! In my life I’ve been in pursuit of a better understanding of faith, truth, love, romance, freedom and optimal mental health.

We all have our own unique path. Unique experiences and understanding of the world around us. No two people see any one thing the same. Nuance is an inescapable part of reality.

Years ago I held roundtable discussions with one single question posed to many. And that was, “what is faith?” I could see the result of faith, I saw people struggling to apprehend faith, I heard people talk about the strength of their faith. I began these roundtables in my early 30s. I’m now 43. And because I’ve joined my previously narrow understanding of faith and its power to the reality of the energetic field that though it isn’t visible it is measurable I began to feel it taking shape.

I’m now satisfied in my 13 year search for better understanding about faith.

In addition to this I’ve marveled at the concept of truth and how striving for it pits people against each other. To me this was disgusting. How could the striving for something so pure bring out so much elitism, war, murder and destruction of people and places….all in the name of truth? For a long time due to this ugliness I gave up on truth being a knowable reality. The last 10 years I’ve studied every religion, every major spirituality (with the exception of some small tribal and indigenous belief practices), major philosophies, and of course psychology.

My breakthrough about truth and Jesus’s teaching that it can set us free came from my exploration of physics and metaphysics. When I learned the power of truth…the knowable reality of truth…is found where it is located and that is at the hub of all that is. The Bible was my introduction to the concept of eternity, infinity. And I found that this concept was most appropriately extrapolated by physics and metaphysics. It showed me a growing body of measurable evidence of its existence.

This Monday morning is unlike any other in the life I’ve lived thus far. This morning I have a clear mind, a pure heart, and have been able to find a place of rest and peace concerning 2 of the most important questions in my life. I have peace now about real faith and how it directs the quantum field and the reality that truth cannot be chained or limited because it is by nature unrestricted since it is the still point of infinity…it is the axis in which the past, future, present, potentialities, thoughts, emotions exist simultaneously.

I am now free to move on to a better understanding about love, romance, freedom, and optimal mental health. I am confident that in my pursuit of understanding to experience these things I will do well. I will figure them out. I will figure them all out in a way that will not only serve to better my own existence but the existence of everyone around me. I will…change the world.

I feel inspired. I feel encouraged. I feel proud. I feel happy. I feel free. I feel confident. I feel intentional. I feel free. I feel free. I. Feel. Free.

#cozettcontemplates #truth #wisdom #freedom

November 7, 2022 0

Deep Within My Keep: A Poem Of I Am

And, when the time was right I became my own

My flesh your figment and justice my bone

Deep within the keep of who I am

I exist within a hologram

Projected realities colliding with the fates

While cunning chimeras pace at my gates

I am the offspring of a million goodbyes

I am the prayer that they can’t catechise

To Adam I say, “I’ll see your rib and raise you intelligence.”

And, to me he says, “I’m only interested in your acquiescence.”

The gamble that is and has always been

Is how authentic can you become without it being seen as sin

I owe no one comfort to the detriment of my own

The reality of me is my creative capstone

I repose in the still point of infinity

I refuse to be the adjuvant of your affinity

I do not exist for your pleasure

I’ve come to unearth mysterious treasure

You will not find me on the surface

It’s best to look for me in cursus

Water witching forgotten wells

Drawing deep from my poetic tales

I’m a nomadic wonder within this realm

My heart is my compass and it’s steady at the helm

In my defiant softness your trespass has become apparent

Your rage belies your belief that you are inerrant

You are justified in crossing my boundaries? Arrogance like yours must be steeled in foundries

And for what reason? Your inescapable bruteness is grounds for treason

A throne of fables, fae, and fire

My feminine ferocity becoming a pyre

Save the cherub for an appropriate setting

Charon is best suited for my level of vetting

Hades has no need for hierophants

And my soul has been looted by sycophants

So, when the time was right I became my own

My flesh your reality and autonomy my bone

Deal with it.

October 30, 2022 0