Category: Uncategorized

Panic During Sleep

The last several days have brought unanticipated answers to some of my deepest questions about my own life.

  1. Why am I here?
  2. Where is my place in this world? Do I even belong or have a place?

I’ve always felt like an outsider. I carry this sort of grappling, grasping, yet avoiding and obsessive energy. As an aspiring psychologist and one who has had a very traumatized life I am peculiarly and acutely self-aware.

Since I was 29 years old I began having panic episodes during my sleep. I would wake up with a dangerously high heart rate. After much testing (because I had health insurance at the time) the conclusion was sleep apnea. Which I agree with. BUT.

My body has been sending me messages for a long time that I haven’t been able to interpret properly until now. And this seemingly sudden ability to switch from being confused and frustrated to some “aha” moments I have discovered some things that have changed my life.

Initially, I suspected that I was having actual panic attacks in my sleep. And now I’ve discovered that is true!

When we sleep our body decompresses, our liver kicks into high gear and detoxes us, and we begin to recover from oxidative stress. When we sleep our bodies are extremely efficient about getting us recovered from pressure.

So, what was my problem? I am an extremely sensitive person. If you feel something…I can feel you….feeling and experiencing it. And my psyche interprets that as my own feelings. This in addition to my own energetic experiences. Needless to say I get overwhelmed easily. I am the classic, stereotypical introvert, INFJ, Piscean personality. And because of my childhood I have an avoidant attachment style. I can never get too close to someone without eventually shutting down to drown out all of their energetic experiences. I’m like a sponge. And, it hasn’t felt good to be in my body for most of my life.

In my deepest sleep I was decompressing super fast and as a result my body offloading the stress so quickly kinda put me in a tailspin.

And that’s where I’m at today! The last 2 years as many of you now know were nothing short of horrific and traumatizing for me. And, finally after having been so tense and upset for such a long period of time I’m finding myself struggling with panic disorder again because I’ve gotten a bit of a respite. I’ve been decompressing. Fast. So many GOOD THINGS coming toward me right now…and I feel like absolute crap. I have qualms about being able to receive all of it. BUT, because these things I’m receiving are literally life-long dreams of mine I’m pushing myself to be positioned mentally, physically and emotionally to enjoy! And honestly it feels traumatic and scary. There is a disconnect that I’m wrestling with. How is it possible that my body reacts so negatively to answered prayers and having my heart’s desires?

I’m trying so hard to learn to listen to my body. As I awoke the last 2 days I have done so with a lot of full body pain, stiffness, and adrenaline. My first thought this morning was, “wow. What a way to start my day.”

But, then it occurred to me….yes, this is the best way to start my day. I’m starting my day by being presented with an opportunity to listen to the MOST ancient and subtle wisdom that exists. And that is the innate wisdom of the human body. It goes far beyond the surface of “uh I’m getting older and not feeling good.” Our bodies are ABLE TO COMMUNICATE so much more than just, “ouch, or yuck I don’t feel good.” It can actually tell us why and what the best course of action is to get back into homeostasis.

So, now instead of being disappointed in my body and scolding it for not feeling reliable I have transmuted that negative reaction. I stand in awe and gratitude that my body has the ability to inform me and educate me on what it needs. This is all vibrational you see. It’s all a matter of energetics. Frequencies.

Did you know our nervous system generates enough electricity to power the city of Chattanooga for 30 days??! What do you think happens when that electricity isn’t grounded?? What do you think your potential could be if you could focus and direct all that power in ways that sustain and nourish you? (Here is where I cannot recommend highly enough vitalistic chiropractors.)

We are all “live wires.” Spirit, breath, flesh, bone, blood, miles upon miles of veins, capillaries and…yes, electricity. 🤷🏼‍♀️

So my question to you today is, “how are you feeling?” “Are you aware of your own vibrations and currents and frequencies?” Do you ever feel like your body is working against your mind and is unreliable? If so…don’t punish it by thinking toxic thoughts about it and shaming it or being disappointed in it. It just wants you to listen!! Lean in and listen to the sound of your own heartbeat. Talk to your organs, joints, muscles and tell them how proud you are of them and see if you don’t feel those areas of your body warm as though smiling.

If your body and mind feel scattered check in and ask it questions that you feel led to ask it. Those answers will come when you open to the fact that every cell within you has a frequency. A vibration. And that frequency and vibration is the foundation of ALL forms of communication. So learn to listen like an old friend and a compassionate counselor to your body. Hold space for it to give you the answers you need about what’s troubling you.

Since this discovery is so new for me I have a lot of work to do to create cohesion between my body and mind. I’ve had a war on my hands for years. But, finally I feel like I now have at least a portion of the owner’s manual to this skin suit. Some directions. Knowledge is power am I right??

So what do I do now that I have the answers I’ve been searching for AND the impending blessings I’ve longed for all my life…at the same time??

I become the master alchemist. I know beyond a doubt that with the information my body has given me over the last few days I can take that and through meditation and the power of my own breath I can transmute the harsh, rattled energy of a traumatized mind into the very catalyst I needed to position me to receive ALL that God has for me.

Pray for me in the days ahead?

Here’s to healing,
Cozett…

#healingtrauma #myjourney #cozettcontemplates #MindBodyConnection #mindbodycohesion

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Joyful Abandon and the Face of Wisdom: The Tao Te Ching and Children Playing

I’m currently lying in the grass reading the Tao Te Ching and occasionally glancing at children play and it is giving me life. The subtle wisdom of the Tao Te Ching coupled with kids playing in the backdrop…the implications of this scenario isn’t lost on me. It’s so interesting watching them sled the hill.  Some are natural daredevils and have no fear. They run and jump onto their cardboard get up speed then fall off and tumble the rest of the way down the hill. With all the bumps, mud, grass and scraped elbows they laugh with total abandon.

Others are afraid of gaining too much speed.  They freeze up and the sled stops. Or, they won’t kick quite hard enough to build momentum.  They look all around them estimating how close other kids are to make sure they don’t get collide.  Often they will sit still on the sled for several minutes afraid to launch.

Some wanna be daredevils but are overthinking their short sled ride. They try out dozens of different angles and sections of the hill.  They experiment with which end of their cardboard will glide best.  They can’t seem to find just the perfect combination of slope, angle, and projected landing point.  One will literally stop his ride to pick up the cardboards around him that other kids left behind.   He didn’t focus on his sled ride but allowed it to be interrupted by what others left lying behind.

Can I just chime in here and show my solidarity with the overthinkers?  I see you.  The ride ahead looks amazing.  But, it’s those “what ifs” that hold us back.  In reality the ride is very short and in the long term it doesn’t really matter how you tackle the ride just that you DO tackle the ride!  See where I’m going with this?

If I had a dollar for everytime I waged war with my what ifs, I would be a wealthy woman.  I come from a family of engineers and it’s in my blood to engineer out every possible negative scenario before embarking on any adventure.

But, I can honestly say that because I know this about myself I always push ahead. I would rather do it and fail than deal with the longing unfulfilled due to fear.

So, while I am the overthinker of my peer group I still find myself with some jewels of stories that others could never imagine. I have adventure stories that I will take to my grave 😏. Where the unimaginable is…is where I long to be…and have been.

In short I wanna look back at my life as the kid who deep down was filled with fear but did it anyway.

Now. I gotta tell you the funny reactions from the adults/guardians of these kids. Tell me if you can find yourself in any of them??

Dad 1: (Flabbergasted)  “you’re so dirty when we get home I’m just gonna beat you with a broom.”

Mom 1: (The tough parent) “oh c’mon now you said, “ouch” before you even hit the ground.

Mom 2:  (I give up mode) “when we get home just stand in the driveway and we will hose you off”

Which kid are you? Which guardian are you?

In whichever ones you find yourself I hope that you find your awe in the sense of adventure and the loving willingness that says, “yeah you got really dirty. But I’d clean you up a thousand times if it means you get to experience joyful abandon.”

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Hermetic Wisdom In Modern Times: The Behavior of Jesus

Isaiah 53:7 He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

Romans 8:35-36

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1,7- To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ….a time to keep silence and a time to speak.

Jesus. My favorite wisdom Teacher. One of my all time favorite qualities about Jesus was “how” He demonstrated wisdom. Why? Because His wisdom was always illogical. His wisdom was countercultural. His wisdom operated illegally. By law He was guilty of breaking the law of sabbath. So what happened in this moment of lawlessness that made Him guilty? He cured someone. Healed a woman who had been crippled in her back for 18 years. I mean….it had gone on 18 years I’m sure it could’ve waited till it wasn’t the Sabbath day right?? But Jesus demonstrated that taking care of His fellow human was more important than what religion said He should or should not be doing with His life. Let’s take it a step further shall we? A human of whom was whispered to be the very Son of YHWH. YHWH in human form if you will. So the question would be: “If this man believes Himself to be the very Son of YHWH then why is He breaking YHWH’s laws?” That fruit don’t line up does it? Or…does it?

This is a very elementary example but I honestly don’t believe if I used any of the more complex instances that this post would be palatable or perceivable. Heck it probably won’t be anyway. And, this is where I want to segue into the wisdom and time of silence.

From the mainstream universally acceptable accounts of Jesus’ life He doesn’t come across as either chatty or quiet. He spoke tenderly to the impoverished masses and to the demon possessed and to His own protege. But, more often than not when he would speak to His fellow religious leaders His words were cunning and terse. And, at least in one instance His voice was raised as He wreaked havoc in the temple. It cut Him to His core to see what course religious practices had run. It was alarming to Him. It was infuriating to Him. But, to the earnest devotees of the temple His actions were completely out of order. Why? The fact that their routines and their doctrines produced what He saw in the temple….was lost on them. It did not occur to them that what they were doing as regular attendees was actually disgusting.

The people were so careful to tithe even their kitchen herbs!! They would bring a tenth of all their mint, cumin, dill, etc. But they would neglect the more important issues. Issues like, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Like, don’t give me your herbs, your doves, your sacrifices, your harvests…..SHOW ME you LOVING YOUR FELLOW HUMAN and PREFERRING YOUR FELLOW HUMAN as BETTER THAN YOURSELF. THAT is what He wanted to see! To hell with the herbs. What about the humans?? What about the cruel idiocy of religion to restrict and then penalize even Jesus for curing another human all because it was done “on the wrong day.”

He said something to the effect of, “you tithe your herbs and mint and cumin but you neglect the weightier matters of the law.” Basically, you strain at gnats but swallow camels! Or you nitpick about things that aren’t as important as other things but when it comes to the big things you just miss it all the way around. Examples of this would be Christian extremist groups who decry women preachers. They spend money, time, prayer, fasting, warning, admonishing, preaching against, speaking out on social media against women preachers and they invest themselves into proving someone wrong rather than focusing on the weightier matter. What is that matter? Loving others the way they themselves want to be loved. God’s love is robust. So, when I hear people say, “Love the person hate the sin.” I want to vomit. Am I saying God loves sin? Nope. I am saying that God’s love is all encompassing. Enveloping. And….it is not dualistic.

I was once part of mainstream, evangelical Christianity. I grew up as a Jehovah’s witness. At the age of 12 my cousin took me to a Pentecostal Church and I FELL IN LOVE with the atmosphere of worship and preaching. When I heard and felt what I heard and felt in that service I knew when I got older that’s all I wanted for my life. Well. God works in mysterious ways doesn’t He? So as an adult I got into church and it was evident to the elders and pastor that I had a gift to preach and expound the Bible. Long story short I spent many years pastoring and evangelizing. Assistant Pastor and holding revivals and doing conferences. I made hospital visits at all hours of the night. I’ve attended and been a part of exorcisms. And, laid hands on and prayed for more people than I can count. Additionally, I pursued a Bachelor’s degree in Bible at Lee University with the intentions of going on to seminary.

As my ministry grew my (now ex) husband shrank back and became completely disinterested in church. He despised that I was preaching and praying and worshipping. He gave me an ultimatum. Give up my dream of preaching, speaking and teaching and go into full time real estate…or else. So, I dropped my dream because obviously my marriage was more important to God than what He had called me to do from the foundation of the world. It was the right religious wife thing to do. And. I was bloody miserable. I told him that if I did this it would negatively effect our marriage. But, he insisted. He was greedy. I desperately didn’t want to quit so I tried working 2 full time jobs. Ministry and real estate. Staying at the office till 11 pm so many nights. Crying over deals with issues that had nothing to do with me yet I caught the brunt of the anger of it because I was their agent and it was a reflection on me. Then I’d leave and respond to hospital calls from members of the church who were sick or in accidents. Then I’d prepare my sermons and preach the next morning. It was like this for a year or more and I broke. I had nothing at home in the way of comfort. My husband was very stoic, harsh and rarely showed me the affection due a wife. When I came home I needed a safe haven and there was none save solitude. So I stayed in the bedroom and prayed through the pangs of guilt for working so much and resigning from the church.

Long story short I left him. I was miserable. He was mean. And, the trauma of 17 years of mental, emotional and verbal abuse broke my spirit. I never cried after I left. You see I had mourned and grieved my marriage many years before it was over. To this day I don’t know if I’m just so wounded that I’m numb and can’t feel bad about leaving or if I just properly and thoroughly grieved it and I am genuinely ok.

Now, here I was a former pastor and evangelist and divorcee’. I needed a break from church because I was mad at God for not making my husband a better person. I was mad because in spite of all the tears, praying, fasting, and gut-wrenching pleading to change myself so I could be more acceptable to my husband….NOTHING changed. I felt like God left me hanging.

So, I took a hiatus from the church. I thought perhaps after I had healed I could start visiting again to find a new home church and get back in an atmosphere of worship. Worship is my big thing. I am a worshipper through and through. And, I missed that more than anything or anyone else.

Years later I finally decided to start visiting. Found a few places I liked and felt comfortable at and then…..TRUMP happened. And my previously tender hearted “non-political” friends who refused to vote suddenly started literally singing his praises and making short-sighted dogmatic statements that basically say, “if you aren’t republican then you are not of God.” This is their belief system. I found it repulsive and very eye-opening. It was a catalystic moment for me. Why did I find it very eye-opening? Why did I find their actions to be a catalyst for my life? For the same reasons Jesus found religion and the religiously devoted to be repulsive and blind. I’ll give it to you in the Words and Thoughts of my Rabbi from an account in the Gospel of John 2:23-25 in the Amplified version (which is extremely accurate. Way more accurate than King James Version since it is a direct translation from original manuscripts rather than a translation of other translations fit for the English language.

“Now when He was in Jerusalem at the Passover feast, many believed in His name [identifying themselves with Him] after seeing His signs (attesting miracles) which He was doing. 24 But Jesus, for His part, did not entrust Himself to them, because He knew all people [and understood the superficiality and fickleness of human nature], 25 and He did not need anyone to testify concerning man [and human nature], for He Himself knew what was in man [in their hearts—in the very core of their being].

Jesus knew that He could not entrust Himself to certain people because He knew what was “in them.” Their fickle nature and short-sightedness and ego and craftily obscured hate via what we now know as id.

I know that I cannot entrust my light. I cannot entrust my enlightenment to just anyone. I cannot entrust certain layers and complexities of myself to most people. I suspect that just this post alone will be enough to cause feelings of grief, anger, confusion, disillusionment and disappointment. But, I am unapologetically me. I am unapologetically enlightened. That’s not something I can back down from.

God told me years ago that I would be like a city on a hill. I know this to be true. He also gave me Isaiah 54 and promised that all my (spiritual) offspring will be taught by YHWH Himself.

So in God’s wisdom guess what I’m going to do with that. I’m not gonna hide my light, per se. But, probably to the great relief of many who read this….I will retreat and run away with it. Why? Because for me…it is a season of silence. I have lost all desire to engage in or debate or to even have light exchange when it comes to “how” authentic Christianity is expressed. I just know what we are seeing now by and large, is not it.

I have very little to say about the current state of our world and politics and communities and churches and religions. Why? Because my words do not matter. All that matters right now is silence. And that silence is wisdom and wisdom will be proven right by her offspring.

Everyday I feel like I face a form of death. The death of my ego and super-ego and id. The death of my mental health as I hear about the rampant state of Covid. The death of my emotional health as I scroll through my feed and see Christian friends pronouncing people who aren’t like them as damned to hell, not of God, deceived or otherwise separated from God due to their lifestyle or behavior not lining up with the Word! Well guess what??? When Jesus healed that person on the sabbath….The WORD HIMSELF DIDN’T EVEN LINE UP WITH THE WORD!! (Torah).

We have got to get over ourselves and remove these self-installed mantles of morality and do the real work. The authentic work of faith. I ain’t even gonna outline what I think that is. Why? Because it’s time people of faith have their brains exercised by open-ended questions rather closed-ended dogmas.

Maranatha,

Cozett

A Less Verbose Life: A Meditation On Liminality

This week I will be welcoming a new little nephew into my life.  We are on baby watch for my youngest brother’s first born.  The cycles of life never cease to fascinate me.

Liminality.   No matter where we are at in life one thing is constant and that is that we all are in liminal space.   We are always on a threshold of some kind of transition.

I look around me and at once feel an awe-inspiring joy at the marvel of new life and a haunting sadness at the ever deepening reality that this life is fleeting and I will soon enough return to dust.  All at once I feel this.

I find myself feeling so torn these days.  An obligation to optimism and a dark sense of comfort in knowing that at the end of my life all I ever was….was animated meat.  My spirit, my essence the soul of who I am gropes to find it’s most accurate and fulfilling means of expression in this skin I’m in.   I will never be fully understood nor accurately perceived.  And, neither will you.  We each come at life with fragmented perspective at best.   In spite of all the honing, discerning, street smarts and psychology of our day we aren’t omniscient.  That’s probably not surprising but it is disappointing.  This is where adventure comes in.  This is one of the few points of human development that sets us apart from the animal kingdom.

Adventure.  It is ontologically liminal.  Matrices of thresholds if you will.  All across the planet people are diving into one unknown from another.  Showing up in life, departing in death, savoring the gamut of emotion we each have in varying proportion with every step in between the two spaces (life and death).

We really do exist on a continuum.  Not one of us is static.  Yet in the frenzy of what we know as life we each walk around with an internal, old-school Polaroid.  Every person we encounter, whether familiar or unfamiliar, our brains get busy taking series of snapshots of them in order to put together as clear a picture as we can of that person.  And guess what?  The pictures we piece together are largely based on our subconscious and involuntary survival reflexes.  These reflexes, these subconscious instincts that operate just below the surface of our awareness drive us, filter for us, and dictate everything we do and think without us having to “think.”

Most of the information we take in from conversations with friends to what we see on the news is processed just below the surface of our awareness and then projected back into our reality in the form of opinions, values, and motivations.

This is why it has become so important to me to familiarize myself with quantum physics, metaphysics, and learning about human vibrations.

You see before there was words, before there was written language…there was symbols and vibration.  These things are part of our foundation as humans.  They are the most ancient and the original forms of communication.

I am a poet.  A true word nerd.  One of my favorite books of all time is….a thesaurus. But lately I find myself with a deep ache to forsake all forms of known language and connect with the world around me via vibration only.  I am a poet.  But this life has become so verbose.  And that’s exhausting.  The nature of language is such that it has an innate poverty.  That is an unchangeable fate for language I’m afraid.   And as someone word oriented that pains me, it frightens me but it also stirs a sense of adventure.  An eager curiosity to imagine what life would be like with no words. 

I think about lions.  I am endlessly fascinated with big cats.  I see them lying and conserving energy out on some arrid terrain while unfamiliar animals and other big cats move through their territory.   I see them yawn and stretch.  And that to me indicates relaxation.   But many animal experts say this is also a sign of defense and aggression.  A warning to other big cats that they’re not afraid to engage them if they feel threatened.   These cues are understood vibrationally.   Finely honed instincts that pick up on the subtlety of the surrounding frequencies.

I have talked before about my people pleasing tendencies.  I am realizing this was a pattern set in motion for me by multiple traumas throughout my life.  I grew up saturated in terror.  And it was such a normal part of my everyday life I learned how to structure my behavior in a way that would keep me as safe as possible from the chaos around me.

Those vibrations in my developmental years shaped the flow of my behavior in the same way water carves out canyons.  Sometimes violent bursts of water overtake natural boundaries and in a flash the course of a river is changed forever.   Other times it’s just the trickling persistence that causes a gentle erosion. 

And this is where I find myself.  With authenticity and vulnerability as my guiding principles and undercurrents of tumult that is always tumbling and shaping me.

I long for cohesion.  Like you I have many layers.  And nearly all of them (that I am conscious of) are non-congruent to each other.  I’m an enigma.  Humans will forever be mysterious.  Who you are can never be fully expressed or accurately perceived in just one lifetime.  The best psychoanalysts of our time will only ever get their toes wet when it comes to wading in the waters of you.

And so here we are.   In this liminal space.  This threshold.  The cusp of adventure.

I want to do my next adventures differently.   I want to come into them differently. And, I want to do that from a space of as few words as possible.

I want to jump because I’m ready to jump.  Not because of how jumping is explained to me or how I’ve talked myself into it.  I want to leap into my next season from a heart-centered, vibrationally sensitive space. 

I want to look back knowing I lived my life without feeling the need to explain it.

As I prepare to welcome this new life, this new little nephew I am older than when the first baby was born that made me an aunt.  In this season of my life this birth feels like a herald to me.  A beckoning to come meet the spirit of life at the table of a sovereignty that can never be articulated. Only observed.  Perceived.  Then tucked away as unspoken understanding.  An unspoken understanding that unfolds like the slow and unrelenting discovery of the macrocosm.

Less words from me.  That feels most fitting.  It feels most freeing.

Cheers to liminality.

Cozett

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You Have A Compass

Albert Einsten Quote

That gut feeling. You know the one. That inner voice that says, “even though they are betting against me…they’re gonna regret sleeping on me.”


How many times has this still small voice came up inside you but you ignored it? How many times have you ignored the emotional intelligence that IS your very essence?


You have a compass. Trust it. You didn’t come this far by some stroke of luck.


You are a master navigator. Been through hardships? Oh yeah. Been laid bare to loss? My dark night of the soul was so dehumanizing there are only 2 other people beside myself who really know what I went through mentally and emotionally and physically. Yet here I am. And…here you are!


You’re here for a reason. You know this deep down even when your inner demons are screaming that you shouldn’t exist. This knowing has served as an anchor for you.


Every storm, every tornado, hurricane, twister, water spout, dust devil….has a still point found at its center. While it rages, while it destroys and kicks up and picks up everything in its path and slams it to the earth or to the sea with supernatural force there still exists a still point right in the center. I KNOW beyond a doubt someone reading this will know exactly what I’m getting at. This center was the saving grace for many situations you thought you’d never make it out of. From domestic violence, emotional abuse, drug addiction, poverty, bankruptcy, and the secret things that you can never share…this center inside you has been a guiding force.


It is so important…to spend time…in YOUR CENTER.
If I asked you right now, “what got you through?” You might reply that a dear friend, a loved one or some amazing organization picked you up when you were down. BUT…have you given any credit to yourself? Honestly, it takes willingness, humility, and an unrelenting hope to even BELIEVE in the life lines that you were thrown. It is when you acknowledge and realize this that you can finally create a sense of trust in yourself.


Trust is a big deal. We understand that it is something earned right? By now…all the trials you have endured should have taught you many things. We learn to trust others, trust life, trust the flow of life, trust God, trust the universe, trust the process….but what about trust when it comes to ourselves?


For many years I had no trust in myself. I continuously and habitually gave my power over to others. I gave my power to anyone who seemed like a decent human. I was so open and hungry for direction and had never been taught that I could trust my own inner wisdom. Advice is great! Teaching is great. Coaching is great! But, at the end of the day when your head hits the pillow the peace of that day will be based on how you feel about yourself. It’s true. Pay attention. All the things that keep you awake will each have at least one tie to your opinion of how you either successfully or not so successfully made use of the opportunities afforded you. Please…give yourself some grace.


If there is one thing 2020 is teaching us it is that we have to do what we know to be right for our bodies and minds. There is so much vying for the energy of our power and vitality. And, so often it seems the decisions are making this year feel like a crap shoot. Why? Because we are ALL on a learning curve as a collective. We don’t understand enough yet about how the coronavirus works or what the best treatment is. We are grappling with why and how our communities are being ripped apart at the seams by political unrest. We are bombarded! And, everything seems like a grey area right now. The best we can do is try to figure out what is right for ourselves WITHOUT superimposing our plans onto others presenting our decisions as the highest good for someone else.


Your inner wisdom is not to be discounted dear friend. Your emotional intelligence and intuition is being sharpened. Your center really does exist in the midst of the chaos that is 2020.


I hope that you will be more determined than ever to level-up to your higher self. That’s where it’s at!


So much love,

Cozett
#innercompass #innerwisdom #thesecretplace #TragedyToTriumph #allidoiswin #trustyourgut #intuition #higherself #yourbestlife

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Wisdom Chooses Honor

Wisdom chooses the path to honor. When I say the word, “honor” it’s likely everyone reading this will have various images come to mind. What 5 words or visuals come to your mind when you read the sentence, “wisdom chooses the path to honor.”? Maybe you picture a patriotic scene of an American flag and soldiers and your heart fills with gratitude for their service. Maybe you picture your parents or grandparents and you reflect on ways you can honor them as they age. Maybe you think of the Ten Commandments from the Bible. Or, perhaps you’re a first-responder and you are working during this pandemic our world has found itself in and while you are bone tired you call to memory people or organizations who have stepped up to honor you and the work you do. Whatever the case, honor is extremely important. It goes beyond just respect. Honor is a demonstration of recognized value. Honor is an empathy response. Honoring someone serves as a vitalistic and energetic exchange that infuses the honoree with a sense of value, morale, and love while giving the honoror a sense of having holistically served their fellow human who has given so much. Respect is great! But, honor is awesome.

Now, let me talk to you about what I have in mind when it comes to honor and the wisdom path. I’ve been dealt a lot of hard life lessons. My entire life has been rife with dear people who make poor choices that negatively and sometimes catastrophically so, impact myself and others. It is in this vein that I wish to explore honor and wisdom. For most of my life, and I am now forty-one years old, I basically stayed on-call for two family members who made the poor choice to use drugs. My days on this planet had unfortunately been fraught with calls about domestic violence against my mother, she literally died several times and nearly died as recently as two years ago from another overdose. Frantic was the order of life for me. And, finally after a very ugly falling out with one of my brothers I was forced to sever ties with him. And, it’s been over a year now since I last spoke with him. During this time I had to turn inward and it was in that turning inward that I cut the energetic cords that bound me to be emotionally obligated to rescuing him and his reckless words and verbal abuse.

I began to work on centering myself, grounding myself and loving myself. (More on self-love in another writing). In doing that I began to establish boundaries and iterate that the boundaries are mine and they are not to be crossed. I finally developed a healthy autonomy and I have been all the better for it. Now, this is where I was wanting to get too to speak about wisdom choosing honor. You ready for some meat? Cause that’s what this is. It’s something I had to chew on first before I could enjoy the fruit of it.

When I say, “wisdom chooses honor,” I mean it in a tough love sort of way but nuanced with compassion and wisdom. I quit seeing my brother as a jerk. I quit seeing him as a broken man (even though he is) and I began seeing him as a man who intentionally made series after series of poor decisions that diminished the quality of his life. In other words, he is responsible for himself and I am no savior. I did not come to this earth to be a savior. I came to this earth as a creator. And, I cannot spend the rest of my life playing a role I was never meant to fill. It’s my time. And, I would say to you reading this, “it’s your time.” It is our time to step into the roles we were destined for and without shame or guilt embrace the powerful light-filled wisdom that peoples of the earth need.

I chose to honor my brother by removing the crutch that was me, and thereby empowering him to step into his own power. Now, wait. Didn’t I just say above that honor infuses the honoree with love, value, and morale? Yes, I did. And, while it may not feel that way to him now I firmly believe that his future self has thanked me for that and is quite relieved I did it. He deserves so much more than being enabled. And, so do the people you love. Maybe it’s time to search your own heart and inquire, “are there people in my life that I need to honor by removing the crutches and enablement so that they come into their own? So that their future self thanks me?”

It’s not easy. But, it’s worth it. So here you see it is wise to always honor. It is the wisdom path to take your low vibrating emotions and attachments and misdirected energy and emotions and transmute them into an energetic decision with a higher and much more effective vibration that frees both you and the other person or persons to become all we are destined to be here on planet earth. It is time.

I encourage you to reflect on the following points:

  1. Am I enabling?
  2. What if I continue enabling?
  3. Is this high-level of freedom, light and wisdom and autonomy the better way or should I continue what I am doing now?
  4. How can I transmute my fears and indecision into quick and effective and highly vibrating other feelings and emotions? (I recommend looking into Emotion Code workers for doing this. I have a practitioner that I’d be glad to recommend if you’d like).

So, I encourage you to take the wisdom path and honor the broken people in your life by seeing them in a more empowering light. Because at their core…that’s who they are. You know that. I know that. Now, it’s time the world knows it too. May God grant freedom, peace, light and love in all your situations.

Love,

Cozett

Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com
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The Higher You Soar

When you’re feeling small…just remember…

For all the times you’ve felt insignificant. For the times you’ve felt completely unnoticed or unseen.

A shift in perspective is needed. Allow me to be your catalyst.

You are everything. The universe, everything that exists can only be perceived because of, “I.” There is no “me” unless there is a, “you.”

The world really does revolve around you. Sequences of events are in motion simply because you exist. And, because you ARE; the world is forever changed.

Have you ever felt like your life has been one lived as one who looks in from the outside? Like you are some kind of awkward observer of your own life? And, you lay awake at night wondering if your presence matters…and the feeling of smallness is like a cage.

Have you ever felt so big on the inside but nothing about you or the trappings of your life seem to reflect that? You feel like you’ll die a mystery.

Just know that not everyone has the capacity of expansive perspective. While that seems unfair and limiting and frustrating it is something that at some point has to be accepted with grace and compassion.

I believe the time we are living in now is THE precipice for those who feel called to live deeply. Your invitation to come out of your shell is being issued. The beautiful thing is that right now you don’t even have to muster any courage to step out. And why is that? It’s because old things are passing away and all things are becoming new. You’re gonna stand out. You’re gonna be sought out. Whatever can be shaken is BEING shaken now. And, its falling away revealing a new order. Not everyone is going to get this. Not everyone is going to be able to perceive this. But. If you do…then know that a divine shift is occurring…in YOUR favor. Things are lining up such that the “ground bound” life can no longer serve you or facilitate the growth in you that will shape the future of humanity. People who are, “ground bound” in their perspective think it strange when people they have known for years suddenly sprout wings and take off. It doesn’t make sense to them. And, it offends them. This is brute intelligence. You were created for more.

There is a verse from Isaiah 54 that Spirit revealed to me over 15 years ago as a parallel prophecy of sorts for the blueprint of my time on this earth. It starts off with a call to break forth and cry aloud much like a woman in birth pains.

Friends…we are in labor. Our planet is travailing. Ascension is underway. There is no stopping it. Our planet (just like the cells in our body) vibrates. The higher the vibration of a cell the healthier it is. The vibration of our planet is literally increasing. As it increases it will shake off EVERYTHING that does not serve it or is detrimental to its health. This includes archaic mindsets that inhibit or prohibit the full, multidimensional, high expression of humanity. It is when we as humans are functioning at higher levels of consciousness that we become better stewards of our planet and the people who have been entrusted into our lives.

So, don’t be afraid if you feel different. Don’t be afraid if you see different. Rest assured…you are STRANGE!!

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Creating And Higher States Of Consciousness

“One after another the greatest writers, poets, and artists confirm the fact that their work comes to them from beyond the threshold of consciousness.” Percy Bysshe Shelley

Creatives can we talk?

Your gifts are about so much more than you. They are bigger than you. And, that’s why sometimes you feel so much struggle and pain when you are birthing your greatest works.

Our gifts and creativity can inspire millions of people. But our creativity also serves as a stretching point for us. Am I right??

As we are absorbed into the work of creating we are experiencing higher states of consciousness. Our focus becomes sharpened. And, our true selves emerge.

You are never more “you” than you are when you’re creating. When you are in a creative state all the fluff and layers that others have placed on you in order to make you more interpretable (is that a word? If not I just created it) fall away. It is in that place where your authenticity and truth can be better seen and the truth of who you are can be better seen.

All my life I have felt like an observer rather than a participant when it comes to life. I’ve always felt either misunderstood or overlooked. I don’t feel like I fit. I’m too woo woo for practical people. I’m too practical for woo woo people. I’m passionate but reserved. I’m verbose but I measure my words. I adore change and evolution but feel like I’m going no where.

As I ponder over the disconnects I feel it becomes more obvious that I feel most at home and grounded when I’m creating. Can you relate? Discovering this and experiencing the higher states of consciousness feels good. I want to live there.

While that’s not entirely possible I am at least inspired to challenge myself to find and focus on the unanticipated moments of life that reveal themselves as creative opportunities.

No longer do I think, “wow, I really enjoyed connecting with this person after my marketing meeting.” I now am able to recognize the moment of synchronistic and synergistic connection. And, because of that in that moment and afterwards I think, “what higher purpose did this connection serve?” It’s more than just mere enjoyment of smooth and lively conversation. These moments…are portals for greater levels. Greater levels for business, higher levels for health, increased opportunities for growth and creation of all the things you need and want in order to live out a fully expressed purpose for your time on this planet. I believe if you can recognize these moments you can capitalize on them and essentially make quantum leaps into fulfilling your wildest dreams and highest purpose.

I hope that as a creative person you will take the time to get still. I hope you will begin to see your gifts as portals to power that can serve all of humanity.

Creative states are literally next dimension living.

Join me?

Love,
Cozett

creativity #consciousness #DivineShift #perspective #higherdimensions #quantumopportunities #flow #creatives #art #artist #artlife #humanity #purpose #create

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If You’re Going To Heal You Have To Be Able To Feel

Just heard this statement, “in order to heal you need to be able to feel.”

How often in our journeys do we wrestle with uncomfortable emotions that we don’t know what to do with?  Recently, I’ve been doing some intense shadow work.  I’m acknowledging rather than stuffing down some really tough feelings.  Feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, disappointment, and frustration have made me feel like I’m wading through mud that comes up to my thighs.  Getting through every day is like this long, hard slog that isn’t yielding fruit that matches my efforts and investment.

So, I decided to give in.  Rather than fighting to “not feel” sad, mad or depressed I just sit with it, acknowledge it, I understand why those feelings are there and that no matter what I do I cannot change the situations that are causing these feelings within me.  And, how human is it that I am simultaneously feeling a deep sense of gratitude for the joy that other people get to experience in the areas that I suffer in?  We are complex creatures.  Light and dark all at the same time. And, I think it would behoove me to understand that just like the sun’s position in the sky determines how far a shadow is cast and how long it is and such….the same is true for me. The position of light and the fragments and facets it’s shining through at any given time will produce varying lengths of shadow that I’m able to see.

For now I just know I have to stop chasing my shadow.  I have to sit with the uncomfortable feelings.  If I’m gonna heal from my disappointments I’m gonna have to “learn” “how” to feel this pain.  It’s the only way it’s going to integrate.  And that’s the only way I will be able to move forward.

Feel me?
Cozett

#feeltoheal #numb #shadowwork #light #darkness #movingforward #selfreflection #introspection #painreimagined #newlenses

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