Art and Greater Dimensions of Understanding The World Around Us

Got up around 6 am because I have so many photo ideas on my mind. Drove around the city and peered at the various works of art that can be found around #chattanooga. It has occurred to me before that as you behold art you simultaneously behold yourself. The image you look at may have no relation to any context you’ve ever been familiar with. But, it is in the quiet moments as your eyes do their first lighting on what you’re looking at that you yourself are sifted. We all have filters (pun intended) and with every visual we encounter those filters are engaged and begin to create an emotional environment inside us that no one else is privy too. The seen creates the unseen. The tangible creates the intangible. I think its important to pay attention to our visceral responses when we behold visual art. If what you see sparks joy….ask yourself why. If it makes you uncomfortable…ask yourself why.

Our world….is awakening. And, we are all experiencing growing pains as a collective. I’m connected with you…and, I am you. Whether that sparks joy in you or makes you uncomfortable. And, the same applies for me. The MOST powerful realization a human can have is to look at another human and understand that person is…you. When you behold people that way a divine shift occurs in your perception system. You begin to go from 3-dimensional thinking into 4th and 5th dimensional thinking. It’s in those greater dimensions where effective problem-solving is birthed. In the greater dimensions we are already experiencing the cohesive humanity we are longing for and fighting for right now. The trick to get to there from here?
Understand that every person who crosses your path is you.

This kind of understanding takes you beyond the chore of empathy. Because when you see others as yourself there is an innate compassion that that finds its expression in your opinion of who or what you’re beholding. There is no hard work that needs to be employed in order to muster the capacity to hold space for the other person. Its effortless, natural, organic and free flowing. It simply is because you simply are.

If there is one thing I hope to accomplish in my creative pursuits it is to help others conceive within themselves higher levels of understanding, thought, compassion and creativity.

Within the next two months I will be doing photoshoots of families. I am single. I don’t have children. I’m white. Economically, I teeter between lower middle class and…poverty. But, as I prepare I am already recognizing that I am the child playing in the water at the Tennessee Aquarium. I am the young man embarking on his adulthood. I am the proud mama and the proud papa. And, they are me. On the surface this doesn’t seem so. Our contexts and our lived experiences may be worlds apart and completely unrelatable to each other. However, we are all energy. And, thermodynamics teaches us that energy cannot be created or destroyed in an isolated system.

If you’re a Jesus person hopefully this first law of thermodynamics rings familiar. Jesus said in John 14:20- On that day [when that time comes] you will know for yourselves that I am in My Father, and you are in Me, and I am in you.”

I believe this…is that day. This time of knowing has come. And, if you don’t recognize and embrace and understand that I am in you and you are in me then you will miss out on a large part of your purpose for being on this planet at this time.

My art. My beholding of the art of others. It teaches me by circumventing words. It teaches me through instinct. It sharpens my intuition and perception of realities greater than 3D. This is where art takes me. And, I hope its where my art will take you.

See ya on the flip side.

Love,
Cozett

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Beacons Of Hope In The Times Of Anxiety: The Sociology Of Groups

It is March 20th, 2020.  And, no matter where you are in the world you likely are aware of the global pandemic that is Covid-19.  At the time I’m writing this I understand that Antarctica is the only continent that hasn’t been impacted by the coronavirus.  We are living in uncertain times for sure.  It is going to take the coming together of the human race to beat this thing.  We have to band together.  Except that…we can’t.  Physically anyway.  And, it is this facet of survival that I want to talk about in this post.  Let me just say that for all of the ills and blows to our self-esteem that the rise of social media has dealt us there is at least one redeeming quality that is emerging from it.  And, that is the ability it gives us to connect while we can’t connect.  This is so very important.  It is a well known fact that even as individuals a great deal of our own identity comes from the groups we belong to.  These groups can be anything from our citizenship, ethnic group, faith group, family system, football team, book club, and so on.  Since a large part of our identity comes from our groups it is understandable that to be ostracized or isolated can be very disorienting.  It is safe to say, “we need each other.”  I need you in order to feel grounded and you need me for all the same reasons.  It is the grounding, this sense of center that I want to talk about.

Right now I am taking a social psychology class.  I had no idea at the beginning of this class how very pertinent the curriculum would be not only for me but for the world in this moment.  I am amazed at the synchronicity of not only the class itself but even the specific chapters as they unfold seem to all speak to how we are dealing and should be dealing with this global pandemic.  Here in my city of Chattanooga, TN we have been ordered to practice social distancing and to only go out if unavoidable.  Most countries and larger cities seem to be practicing this as well.  Many companies and places of work have closed, many churches have closed, and restaurants are offering delivery, pickup, or drive thru service only.  We are discouraged from congregating.  Yet congregating is one of the most powerful tools humanity has ever had in order to perpetuate it’s survival.  Again, we are so blessed to have social media.

It is in light of the power of groups that I want to share some interesting research tidbits.  I believe these tidbits can be very helpful for us right now in the midst of the coronavirus threat and help us guide each other to safety and confidence.  In 1959 Stanley Schacter conducted an experiment on the hypothesis that, “misery loves company.”  In his experiment he took a group of people and threatened them with electric shock.  Sure enough when the threat was introduced everyone huddled together for strength against a common enemy (being shocked!).  But, interestingly enough two years later in 1961 another experiment conducted by Sarnoff and Zimbardo not only did they replicate Schacter’s experiment but they introduced a manipulation.  Rather than threat or making people afraid they made people anxious.  The results?  People who were threatened did indeed group up but people who were made anxious did not group with others who also felt anxious.  I found this study in my current textbook, Social Psychology by Thomas Heinzen and Wind Goodfriend.

So, what is the takeaway from these results?  Right now it is time to a beacon of hope.  We understand that there is so much we can’t do.  We can’t congregate.  We can’t go about life as usual.  No movies, no first dates, no faith meetings, no work!  I am so thankful to see people in my community who are being so courageous and braving these pandemic conditions in order to meet the needs of the elderly and immune compromised populations here.  Businesses that are typically offline such as yoga studios, real estate agents, counselors, and even faith communities are finding ways to offer virtual services and connection to make sure we don’t lose our sense of normalcy and connection and routine.  But, maybe you are one of those groups who can’t go out grocery shopping for others.  Maybe you don’t own a business that you can take online.  I am convinced that you are going to be one of the greatest resources humanity has during this pandemic.  Why?  Because you have the innate ability to offer to your fellow human a sense of belonging.  Perhaps your daily grind always had you so busy that while you noticed folks who suffered emotionally or mentally or in some other way you often thought how you would like to help but didn’t have the time.  Now you do!  Those people you’ve taken note…now you can be reach out to them.  One of the greatest gifts you can give is to let someone know they are seen and they are heard.  Just by inboxing someone on social media during this time of quarantine you can show that you have an intention to build them up.  It can be such a simple gesture with powerful results.

My goal during this time (even as one who has a journey with anxiety disorder) is to be a beacon of hope.  Join me?

Here’s to health my friends,

Cozett

 

 

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A True Catalyst

99% of who you are as a person cannot be touched, smelled, tasted, heard or seen.

Sure, we have this outer shell with fleshy inner trappings.

But, “who”….you are emanates from your consciousness.

We must take care of our earth suits.  Its imperative if we are to live out quality consciousness.

But….I submit the inner work is weightier than the body. (See what I did there?) Tee hee hee.

And, the inner work….and what you produce on the inside directly impacts how your body is able to express your consciousness.

I am all the more determined to keep diving and evolving, diving and evolving.   Free diving into the quarry of my inner world, mining it and then seeing what comes loose and rises to the surface of my conscious awareness.

Interesting thing about quarries, we know they are pits that are dug out and mined and when they become abandoned they will usually fill with water.  Limestone quarries produce these oceanic colored pools that are to me, irresistible to dive in and swim. 

And that’s what most of us are like, right??  Abandoned quarries.  Filled with beautiful pools that if we could see we would be so eager to dive into and find refreshing.

I want to encourage you this week to intentionally reflect on these questions:

1.  What would it feel like to take a deep dive inside myself thru sitting quietly for 15 mintues or so and see what comes up?

There will be mind chatter, yes.  But, our brains have a great deal of plasticity and can be trained to “sit and stay.”  With practice of course.

2.  Is there untapped potential within me that I don’t know about it?

3.  What would it feel like if I made some self-discoveries that could change the course of my life for the better?  Or enhance what I already enjoy?

My friends.  There is more!  99% more!!  Please don’t rob yourself by neglecting the practice of meditation and quietness for herein lies a true catalyst.

If you would like some guidance with meditation or would like to join me in meditating let me know!

If you have stories about how meditation has profoundly altered the course and enhanced the quality of your life please share it with me!

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What Are The Mechanics Of Receiving?

Thinking today about all the good things I deserve.  Life, love, respect, fun, rest, good sleep, etc.

When I think about the good things it occurs to me that in order to have them I need to “come”  to receive them.

Here’s what I mean.  Say you get a notice that you have a package at the post office waiting on you.  And, you know it’s something you’ve been wanting for a long time.  You have the emotion or feeling of being excited.

But.  It’s not going to be brought to you.  It’s going to require work and cost to get it.  1.  You have to leave your house.  2.  You have to drive.  3.  You use gas to get there and back.  4.  You spend time in the getting.  5.  And, if you’re a southern introvert like me you have to endure random interactions with strangers while smiling as they hand you the package when you arrive at the desk, possibly after standing in line.

For some reason I have a disconnect when it comes to receiving.  I am willing to show up and do the work.  But, after that it’s like I’m standing at the postal desk smiling back and forth with a stranger and the reception never happens.

I don’t know “how” to receive. Like, what are the mechanics of receiving?  Maybe I’m guarded?  Maybe it’s the self-hatred I’ve unearthed and am still working through?  Maybe its skepticism about what’s really in store for me?

All I know is that I feel called to, “come and receive.”  And, try as I may I never get beyond the part where I show up. 

Anyone else relate to this?

How do you receive all the good things you need and deserve?  The good things being offered to you.

There is a verse from Matthew’s gospel that has tugged at me for some years now.  And, I can’t help but feel such resistance and ignorance when I meditate on it.

Jesus Christ quoted as saying:

“Come to Me all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”

To further expand on the original Greek tenses and richness of context and spirit for the verse The Message reads it like this:  “Come to Me.  Get away with Me.  You’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with Me and work with Me- watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

(Matthew 11:28-30).

What are the mechanics of receiving? 

I understand allowing is part of this puzzle.  I understand that perhaps open arms, or up turned hands are part of it.  But, I feel there is some sort of inner disposition and maybe spiritual quality involved that I either don’t have or just need to develop in order to receive good things.

What are some of the best things you’ve ever received? 

How did they come to you or how did you come to them?

Were you able to receive quickly and readily?

What advice would you give to help someone you care about understand how to receive?



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Healing The Past

On the path of self-actualization we understand that we are striving to be better.  In that pursuit of betterment its common to reference the past.  After all, this is from where we grow.  Our past, good or bad or indifferent serves as a springboard or a contrast.  It can show us who we no longer want to be and the emotional charge we have when we think about it can create the momentum needed to make progress toward actualizing.

As someone who is known as a listener I can think of basically three narratives I’ve heard concerning people’s past and how it shapes what they want for their future.  The classic “bad” past, where pain functions as the prompt to betterment.  We see this in a lot of famous motivational and inspirational speakers.  The “good” past, where someone was fortunate enough to be born into a family or tradition that was conducive for growth and that person is so inspired by their forebears they want to build on the legacy they’ve been left.  And, the “indifferent” past.  Basically, its colorless.  Normal ups and downs.  But, the person feels that due to the lack of intensity in either direction they are somehow at a disadvantage to leave their mark on the world.  And, so they are in a search for passion, purpose and meaning.

Recently, I’m thankful to have been experiencing profound growth.  My character has been tested.  My understanding of the world around me has grown.  My emotions have been pummeled.  The very foundations of “why” I think the way I do are being shaken.  I’m growing.  I’m moving toward betterment and away from deleterious thinking and behavior.  And, now that I’m beginning to see a definite chasm between who I once was and who I’d like to think I am becoming I’ve noticed that my past is coming up seemingly out of the blue.  Its as though its emerging from the recesses of me and saying, “remember me.  I need help too.  Please don’t forget I am part of your healing journey.  I, your past, am not some character that deserves to be quarantined.  I was once you.  And, because of that I also deserve all the health that you are creating for the new you.”

Deep right?  Painful?  Wow.  So much.  Thankfully, about the time my past started stirring in my consciousness so did this theme of “compassion as medicine.”  When I saw these two things emerging together I knew it was time to examine some of my behaviors and thinking from the past but not for the purpose of crucifying myself in some grand effort to be a better person.  I intuitively understood that for me to forge ahead into this bright future I’m hoping for myself that I needed to, for the first time, show compassion and minister mercy to who I once was.

In thinking about healing from the past I discovered that I was presenting myself with only two options: “killing” the old me or coping better.  Maybe you can identify with this?  There are more options.  Better options.  I think its safe to say that many people who feel bound by the past often want that part of them or that part of their history to “die.”  But, that isn’t a great option.  Death is indicative of numbness and unfeeling.  A sense of non-existence.  But, I submit that feeling…deeply and intentionally and comprehensively could be a portal of sorts to freedom and growth.  I want to challenge anyone who reads this…not to numb out.  Your emotions are sacred.  Your intuition is more trustworthy than you give it credit for and I believe it is in the feeling “through” that our true north can be found.  Now, with that said don’t beat yourself for wanting to numb out!

I believe that in an effort to mute pain and to lend strength to the momentum of who we are becoming our wounded egos can sometimes cause us to segue to an unproductive mindset that says, “the new me, the stronger and better me must rush in and bitterly scourge my past self if the better me I’m becoming is to be valid.”  This is actually quite common amongst deeply religious people.  Those who feel they are on the highest quest to express their need for redemption are often the worst in their tendency to mutilate their inner being.  When really their greatest need is healing.   In my own experience I’ve discovered that this rush to scourge and chastise the past part of me was/is an effort to create peace and closure.  Sounds counter-productive because it is!  Once I recognized this I gave myself permission to not only feel through my past (notice I didn’t say “think through”) but to honor who I was at one time.  This is very healing.  Highly recommend it.  At the end of the day we each make decisions based on our current state of enlightenment, education, emotional maturity, needs, and circumstances.  And, I happen to naturally believe the best about people so I believe that we are all doing the best we can with what we have.  Negative emotions of depression, anxiety, or regret do NOT carry the innate ability to compensate for a painful past.  They only create a vicious cycle of self-defeating and self-sabotaging patterns.

If we want to honestly prime ourselves and position ourselves to be better its time to release the habit of going to dark places when striving for the light.  Read that again, please? Its time to relearn how to do this thing called life.  If you are a self-aware person you’ll know your patterns.  And, I want to encourage you to start intentionally swapping negative mindsets and emotions for more life-giving ones.  Give yourself time to feel through the past and the permission to honor who you once were.  Just as you would honor the dearly departed and imperfect people who have been a part of your life you should also do this for yourself.  It is a healing balm.  And, as of now, what I believe the higher way to heal the past.

Here’s to the medicine of compassion.  Salut.

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The Serpent: Healing My Symbology

This evening in my meditation I found myself gently rolling my head.  Clockwise, then counter clockwise.  My mind was clear.  The movement felt good for my tense neck and shoulders.  There were a few moments that as I moved, my movements reminded me of a snake.  In fact, when it first occurred to me, the word, “serpent” popped into my head.  Creepy right??  But, what if its not creepy at all?

I began to journal.  Honestly, I wanted to push the notion of identification with a serpent out of my head and focus on other things.  I’ve been thinking lately about the concept of dualistic thinking.  This box so many of us operate in.  It’s a framework that says life is “us vs them” with comfort coming from feeling like one is a part of an inner circle.  Once that is sensed their is a deceptive reassurance that one’s thoughts are all correct and that person feels justified and vindicated in thinking those outside are wrong.

My context: I am a white, middle-aged, southeastern American woman born in a small town and into a southern American Christian world.  So, the value I ascribe to certain symbols are different than say a middle-eastern man or south African woman.  If you share my context you will likely have already picked up on and experienced a sense of discomfort or unease or morbid curiosity when you saw the title of this blog and the reference of identifying with a serpent.  Why?  Because in my culture that is colored by the Christian Bible and the fact that we claim a savior who was Jewish our minds immediately refer to the negative connotations of the serpent in the Bible.  From Genesis to Revelation the snake is given a bad rap.  Really bad.  In fact its image often represents Satan.  The ultimate adversary of God and tormentor of humankind.   In Genesis there is a prophecy that the offspring of Eve will bruise or crush the head of the serpent.  We understand that offspring to be Jesus Christ and the serpent the devil.  Only twice in scripture is the serpent presented in positive light.  In Genesis the serpent is called, “more crafty, intelligent, cunning than any beast” and again while the children of Israel were wandering in the desert looking for the promised land there is an instance where “fiery serpents” entered the camps and killed and made sick many people.  In order for them to be healed from this attack they were instructed to look upon the image of a serpent that had been crafted from brass.  Needless to say I grabbed onto the positive symbology.  More importantly…I allowed my mind to explore the biological characteristics of snakes.  I’m very blessed to have done so and here’s why:

  1.  Growth-when it comes to growth in humans or animals the visual of that is so subtle you really can’t see it happening.  Except when it comes snakes.  The growth of a snake involves shedding it’s skin and that is something everyone can see.  Can you imagine your skin coming off every time you have a revelation, make a good choice, learn something new or celebrate another birthday?  Awkward.  Scary looking. Startling.  Right?  Additionally, it puts the snake in a very vulnerable position.  But growth spurts do that to us too right?  It usually isn’t pretty when we shed old ideals, behaviors, patterns, etc.
  2. Right before the serpent enters it’s first scene in the Bible where it is cursed for cajoling the woman into eating forbidden fruit that her eyes may be opened to the reality of evil as well as good, it receives a rave review.  It is said to be the most crafty and intelligent and cunning animal elevating it’s intelligence above all other beasts.  To me this is very moving.  My childhood and adolescence held a running theme where my intelligence was constantly questioned.  When I got in trouble the first words I heard from my grandfather was, “stupid, silly damn thing.”  My grandmother’s words were a little less harsh.  She would immediately say something to the effect of, “well you should have KNOWN better.”  Because, all kids come automatically knowing right?  And finally during the times when my mother orbited my life and we fought she would always say, “you’re not even old enough to have an opinion.  You have no idea.”  Now as an adult I find myself in a pursuit to be one of the greatest minds in history.  Yeah, I know.  My ability to “correctly” perceive and righteously act has hijacked the relaxation and fun and ignorant bliss I could have experienced thus far.  I developed this obsessive umpire in my mind.  Every moment of everyday I have discovered that I am judging each moment as either good or bad and I’ve robbed myself of simply being.
  3. Had I never known this context I have found myself in, a white, southern Christian woman, I may have been conditioned and introduced to the imagery of the snake as the epitome of wisdom, a master of growth, a symbol of success, a representation of healthy sexuality, an expert hunter.
  4. As I allowed my mind to open to these truths and additional meanings I began to feel a sense of pride rather than unease.  I am…wise.  I am one who is always growing and requiring more of myself and determined to stretch.  I aspire to be a symbol of success, one with healthy sexuality and an expert hunter or provider for myself.  I am serpent-like.  My nimble movement inspires.

As a psychology student, an empathic person and aspiring professional counselor it is important to me to be relatable.  I want people to feel open to me.  And, I feel like one of the greatest medicines or gifts I can offer to myself…is healing my symbology.  I want to take all the disowned and shamed symbols and revive them.  I want to give them new meaning and the place of honor they deserve.  On a practical level I want to not immediately have a negative connotation of someone who perhaps loves snakes or brings up dreams about morphing into a snake in their dreams during a counseling session.  Healing my “seeing” better ensures my ability to be an agent of healing in the lives of others.

This year I have plans of shedding life-long patterns.  And, I’m going to be honest and warn you.  If you know me well, if you follow me on social media there are going to be times my shedding is visible.  And, that may look weird or make you uncomfortable.  But, I am determined to stretch.  I am determined to enjoy the feel of a new skin.  One that is more pliable and more suited to the joys of experiencing growth.

So, starting off 2020 I’ve healed at least one symbol and made new room in my mind and heart to better understand the world around me.

I am serpent.  And, I’m healing my symbology.

Snake shedding skin

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Below The Surface

I think one of the reasons self-hatred is so sneaky is because it’s not something that the ego will allow. Or, if it does allow it certainly won’t allow you to consciously acknowledge it.
 
My childhood and adolescence was very disempowering. I was given no scaffolding to grow. I was taught that my feelings didn’t matter and that I wasn’t capable of having an opinion.
 
While I didn’t really think that I believed these things as an adult my behaviors and boundaries have told a different story.
 
Sitting quietly. Allowing my mind to explore and acknowledge some bad decisions I’ve made that I knew would cost me peace and physical health has been very empowering and transformative.
 
In these times of meditation I’ve been able to go below the surface of my loudest thoughts and beliefs into the deeper places that are harder to sound. Places in my mind that are like long abandoned, dusty, ancient libraries. This exploration is like walking into a room where no one has been in millenia. It has a stillness that is unfamiliar. It feels profound. It stirs a curiosity as to why it’s so unvisited. And, therein lies a powerful truth. Noise. Loudness. Disruption. Turmoil. Discord. Those are the things that get attention. And why is that? We are wired for self-preservation. Whenever anything threatening comes up that is where all of our focus goes. Unfortunately, our modern lives operate on the premise of scarcity even though we are surrounded by abundance. More is always being required of us. More hours at work. More patience because someone or something is always trying us. And, we find ourselves in a rhythm where we exist in operating in the loud areas of our minds.
 
Yet there is better for us. There is a richness we are sacrificing. There is wisdom and love and understanding that we are exchanging for desperation and fight or flight. We are pushed to perform everyday of our lives and the concept of just “being” is becoming more foreign by the day.
 
I am determined to spend more time in this transcendent and quiet place where there are messages of empowerment. I’m tapping into a confidence in my long neglected inner compass. I’m positioned to honor my intuition. I’m becoming comfortable enforcing my boundaries. I’m feeling hopeful and eager and optimistic about uncovering the hidden aspects of me and all the ways I’m going to be strengthened by these discoveriesThe mind

 

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Our Layered Presence

In 2019 I began to be able to present. After years of debilitating anxiety I’d finally healed enough that I could show up at work, out with my friends, doing my hobbies, and at my workouts in a mindset that wasn’t consumed with thoughts of, “ok, how long can I stay before my heart starts racing uncontrollably and I have to leave and be embarrassed?” Being able to be mentally present for the people and activities I enjoy and the responsibilities required of me was invigorating. I began to actually observe myself being in the moment as though I had a bird’s eye view or out of body view of myself. And, the joy this brings me is indescribable! Observing myself being in the moment is both fascinating and freeing for me. It gives me the ability to measure and solidify the progress I’m making towards being the unbothered happy person I want to be. It untethers me from the falsely perceived notion that I have to worry to be valuable.

In my meditation this morning I was exploring my empathetic ability. My goal for this part of my nature is to instruct it and inform it and educate it in order that it might be a blessing to me and not a curse or vexation that creates an unbearable emotional burden. If you are an empath or an empathetic person you can identify with the exhaustion that can come with this if you don’t stay in balance and honor your boundaries.

As I meditated, my mind open and free from thought the word, “past” came to me and I instantly understood a new direction unfolding for me concerning practicing presence. You see our presence is multi-layered. We can be physically present but our minds far away. Sometimes we can be physically present and somewhat mentally present as well but still be distracted. Our minds kind of tune in and out and away from what is important in the moment and so we miss out on the energy of that moment. And, like myself, for those of you who suffer from panic disorder or some other anxiety disorder, you might find yourself being able to be present without panic. Which is nice even if it’s that’s all we can experience! But, what about our past? What about the negative experiences that have shaped us? Are we bringing that with us? I am. And it colors every moment. The moments I am now enjoying with a new freedom from anxiety are still nuanced by hurt.

If you are an empathic person you probably realize you have keen intuition. Others probably sense this about you as well. As an empath, intuition is one of our greatest gifts. It’s a wonderful tool. It’s like an enhanced compass that can benefit not only ourselves but those we care about. But, it’s true ability is only realized when we can be present in the moment from a place that is not filled with the wounds of our past.

I had to ask myself this question. “Is my present moment being dictated from the wounds of my past?” The answer to this was quite revealing. The truth is, yes. For example, I am aware that when I am speaking with men I feel a deep sense of skepticism and distrust just below the surface of my awareness. I know this is because from childhood thru adulthood I was frequently wounded due to the actions/inactions of men. But, can I really allow this to color my every interaction with every man I am around? No. It keeps me from being the best version of myself and it hinders my ability to serve my fellow humans in all the ways that I feel called.

I’ve talked quite a bit about symbolism and primordial imagery in my writings. As my eyes were closed and I was listening to some frequencies for my meditation the image of the ocean lapping onto some sand came into my mind’s eye. I recalled that during my times at the beach watching the waves wash in and out I could always see a sinking imprint of the water into the sand after it had gone back out to sea. In other words while the water had receded there was still a trace of it that remained to sink into the sand and that is what kept the sand wet though not completely submersed. That is what our moments of presence are like when they are still being colored by the past. We may not be completely under water but there remains this constant lapping of an imprint that is ever sinking into the depths of our moments.

Maybe for you it’s not anxiety, or the past that color the moments when you’d like to be present or are required to be present. Maybe it’s something else altogether. Whatever it may be I encourage you to get in touch with yourself. Delve through the layers that are you as though you’ve just opened a secret door to a mysterious and endless vault of treasure. See what are the first things you’re able to grab ahold of when the door of you opens and work with that. You never know the discoveries that can be made that will unlock greater levels of freedom and happiness.

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The Moon On My Left And The Sun On My Right

Lying in the grass. The moon on my left and the sun on my right.

Each brilliant on display

And I’m reminded of the beauty of contrast every day.

But, I can’t get myself out of the way…

 

Martin Luther where is our future?

Cause I think we need a suture

See we’re bleeding out because of clout

And there is no balm in Gilead

Can’t you see you’ve been had?

 

Awakening to resolve

Means you’ll have to involve

All the parts of you that they’d like to solve

Either that…or devolve.

 

The culture that is pressure

Calls for revolution without measure.

 

The moon on my left and the sun on my right

Looks like mere inches apart according to the span of my hand.

But, it really isn’t about my hand is it?

Rather what I give it to or what I can see through

That is what counts.

And the revolution mounts…

The revolution mounts.

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Insipid Sky

The stars were flung
The chords were strung
The moon was hung

And day turned into night turned into day turned into night
And the timing wasn’t right

The birds have sung
I climbed a rung
And filled a lung
With the breath of you
And the other I filled with dew

And these days have rolled on in to night
And the years have passed by
And here I am caught in between
Looking into the gray
As I release a sigh…sigh.

I wonder why.
Why after all these years it’s always the same.
Pain upon pane upon pain upon the panes of my life.
I wish they were stained glass or chartreuse or something.

The stars were flung
The chords were strung
The moon was hung
And I am stung

By your silence
By your apathetic violence

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