Tag: Healing

Don’t Suffer The Pain Of Inaction: One Percent More

Today you have an opportunity.  Today you have the ability to do 1% more than you did yesterday to achieve your goals and live out your wildest dreams.

For me I’ve always feared the regret of inaction more than the fear of taking the wrong action.

I’ve seen first hand how analysis paralysis and indecision can negatively impact the future of a person. Analysis paralysis is cousin to fear. And, I hate that whole family 

Today I’m issuing you another call to courage.  To believe in yourself and your massive intuitive abilities.   You CAN trust yourself.   YOU are your greatest resource.  But, how can you discover the gold mine that is you if you refuse to explore and tap into who you suspect yourself to be.

Are you really that great??  Yes.  Yes, you are.

You see it is the core of who you are that is a gift to the world. Unfortunately, from the day we are born until the day we die that core us covered over every day with layers of obligations that are NOT in alignment with our ultimate purpose or deepest desires.

Is it not a gift to be a good son, daughter, wife, husband, aunt, sibling, community organizer activist, etc?  Of course it is!  But, the secret to a fulfilled life and achieved destiny is not to be these things to the detriment of your soul’s calling.

None of the roles that you operate in should eclipse the expression of your most authentic self.  They can be beautiful vehicles for that expression to be sure.  But, if you ever find yourself feeling lost to motherhood, fatherhood, being a boss, being a religious leader or whatever then that is a key indicator that your role has eclipsed your soul.

Maybe you’ve been wading around in indecision for a long time.  Years perhaps.  Maybe you’ve been saying to yourself that if you just had a sign then that would be your permission to set yourself free of all that holds you back.  With that said…here’s your sign.

I love you.  And I don’t want to see you sacrifice the great adventure that is wrapped up and encoded in your DNA.  I don’t want to see you suffer and come to me in counseling one day for the, “I wish I would have…”

My message to you is, “just do it already!”  Dive!  Take that break.   Take that vacation. Open your mind to the things that intrigue you but scare you at the same time because you’re afraid of what people would think…if they knew you…thought.

This is YOUR life and you don’t owe it to anyone.  Your life is your own.  It’s your puzzle, your mystery, your source of delight, your source of endless curiosity, your compass, your vehicle for radically experiencing planet Earth.  The planet is a beautiful and wild place.   There are people just waiting for you to cross their path and set them free.  To show them the lessons you’ve learned.   To offer your depth of insight from the life you’ve learned.

But how will you ever experience that.  That satisfaction.  If you won’t allow yourself to move forward?

I’m gonna keep issuing this call until there is an entire global revolution at my feet. I can promise you that. It is part of my destiny and wildest dreams to help you achieve yours.

Love,
Cozett

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Panic During Sleep

The last several days have brought unanticipated answers to some of my deepest questions about my own life.

  1. Why am I here?
  2. Where is my place in this world? Do I even belong or have a place?

I’ve always felt like an outsider. I carry this sort of grappling, grasping, yet avoiding and obsessive energy. As an aspiring psychologist and one who has had a very traumatized life I am peculiarly and acutely self-aware.

Since I was 29 years old I began having panic episodes during my sleep. I would wake up with a dangerously high heart rate. After much testing (because I had health insurance at the time) the conclusion was sleep apnea. Which I agree with. BUT.

My body has been sending me messages for a long time that I haven’t been able to interpret properly until now. And this seemingly sudden ability to switch from being confused and frustrated to some “aha” moments I have discovered some things that have changed my life.

Initially, I suspected that I was having actual panic attacks in my sleep. And now I’ve discovered that is true!

When we sleep our body decompresses, our liver kicks into high gear and detoxes us, and we begin to recover from oxidative stress. When we sleep our bodies are extremely efficient about getting us recovered from pressure.

So, what was my problem? I am an extremely sensitive person. If you feel something…I can feel you….feeling and experiencing it. And my psyche interprets that as my own feelings. This in addition to my own energetic experiences. Needless to say I get overwhelmed easily. I am the classic, stereotypical introvert, INFJ, Piscean personality. And because of my childhood I have an avoidant attachment style. I can never get too close to someone without eventually shutting down to drown out all of their energetic experiences. I’m like a sponge. And, it hasn’t felt good to be in my body for most of my life.

In my deepest sleep I was decompressing super fast and as a result my body offloading the stress so quickly kinda put me in a tailspin.

And that’s where I’m at today! The last 2 years as many of you now know were nothing short of horrific and traumatizing for me. And, finally after having been so tense and upset for such a long period of time I’m finding myself struggling with panic disorder again because I’ve gotten a bit of a respite. I’ve been decompressing. Fast. So many GOOD THINGS coming toward me right now…and I feel like absolute crap. I have qualms about being able to receive all of it. BUT, because these things I’m receiving are literally life-long dreams of mine I’m pushing myself to be positioned mentally, physically and emotionally to enjoy! And honestly it feels traumatic and scary. There is a disconnect that I’m wrestling with. How is it possible that my body reacts so negatively to answered prayers and having my heart’s desires?

I’m trying so hard to learn to listen to my body. As I awoke the last 2 days I have done so with a lot of full body pain, stiffness, and adrenaline. My first thought this morning was, “wow. What a way to start my day.”

But, then it occurred to me….yes, this is the best way to start my day. I’m starting my day by being presented with an opportunity to listen to the MOST ancient and subtle wisdom that exists. And that is the innate wisdom of the human body. It goes far beyond the surface of “uh I’m getting older and not feeling good.” Our bodies are ABLE TO COMMUNICATE so much more than just, “ouch, or yuck I don’t feel good.” It can actually tell us why and what the best course of action is to get back into homeostasis.

So, now instead of being disappointed in my body and scolding it for not feeling reliable I have transmuted that negative reaction. I stand in awe and gratitude that my body has the ability to inform me and educate me on what it needs. This is all vibrational you see. It’s all a matter of energetics. Frequencies.

Did you know our nervous system generates enough electricity to power the city of Chattanooga for 30 days??! What do you think happens when that electricity isn’t grounded?? What do you think your potential could be if you could focus and direct all that power in ways that sustain and nourish you? (Here is where I cannot recommend highly enough vitalistic chiropractors.)

We are all “live wires.” Spirit, breath, flesh, bone, blood, miles upon miles of veins, capillaries and…yes, electricity. 🤷🏼‍♀️

So my question to you today is, “how are you feeling?” “Are you aware of your own vibrations and currents and frequencies?” Do you ever feel like your body is working against your mind and is unreliable? If so…don’t punish it by thinking toxic thoughts about it and shaming it or being disappointed in it. It just wants you to listen!! Lean in and listen to the sound of your own heartbeat. Talk to your organs, joints, muscles and tell them how proud you are of them and see if you don’t feel those areas of your body warm as though smiling.

If your body and mind feel scattered check in and ask it questions that you feel led to ask it. Those answers will come when you open to the fact that every cell within you has a frequency. A vibration. And that frequency and vibration is the foundation of ALL forms of communication. So learn to listen like an old friend and a compassionate counselor to your body. Hold space for it to give you the answers you need about what’s troubling you.

Since this discovery is so new for me I have a lot of work to do to create cohesion between my body and mind. I’ve had a war on my hands for years. But, finally I feel like I now have at least a portion of the owner’s manual to this skin suit. Some directions. Knowledge is power am I right??

So what do I do now that I have the answers I’ve been searching for AND the impending blessings I’ve longed for all my life…at the same time??

I become the master alchemist. I know beyond a doubt that with the information my body has given me over the last few days I can take that and through meditation and the power of my own breath I can transmute the harsh, rattled energy of a traumatized mind into the very catalyst I needed to position me to receive ALL that God has for me.

Pray for me in the days ahead?

Here’s to healing,
Cozett…

#healingtrauma #myjourney #cozettcontemplates #MindBodyConnection #mindbodycohesion

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Vulnerability

You likely don’t have all the answers. But, never underestimate the power of holding space and just listening. Humans are inherently resilient, powerful and intuitive all on their own. When someone you love is struggling…just holding space and being intentional about making that space sacred and open for whatever comes up and out is often just enough to clear the blocks that have fallen onto their path.

You. You are inherently powerful. You are inherently intuitive. You are inherently resilient. And, together….there is nothing we can’t do.

You are meant for forward motion BUT not at the expense of stillness. I firmly believe one of the greatest lessons we have learned and are learning from the impact of a global pandemic is the value of stillness. The whole world literally had to stop so that we could all get on board at the same time to be faced with what can be found in the stillness.

For some of us that has meant confronting our shadow side. There is this unintentional discovery of the fact that for so long we have just been powering through our pain and toxic patterns. Stumbling and groping through a darkness that we can’t understand why it exists…what its purpose is….what lessons are we not getting from it and where did it come from is something we are collectively facing.

You are not in this alone. I’m going through it. My friends are going through it. Your family is going through it. Our neighbors and colleagues are going through it.

So what’s the good news in all of this? The good news is that this time of being forced to face the darkness….in the quiet of our minds is serving as a catalyst to get us all to a place that is much more….human friendly.

The old way of doing things….powering past the pain and sucking it up….is passing away…so that we are made new.

I believe we are all being made new in the light of an era that’s message is “it’s ok and healthy and encouraged to vocalize your pain and let others in on your acknowledgement of that pain and your desire to heal from it.”

In a world where capitalism and toxic masculinity has been the order of the day for thousands of years we are now facing a golden opportunity to learn the benefits of community, authenticity, vulnerability and tenderness.

I am ready for it! Are you?? Ready to heal. Ready to be vulnerable. Ready and willing to connect and lay down our armor and just….love!

It may look awkward. It may feel awkward. We’ve not been able to be like this for many lifetimes. So naturally as we become more intentional about connecting authentically and deeply there are going to be stumbling points and times where it feels unnatural or forced.

But my friends I am telling you…it is so worth it!

I encourage you today to dive into the awkwardness! Plant yourself right in the middle of awkwardness. I guarantee you there are people all around you just waiting to see you do this….so that they can too!

This, in my opinion is one of the highest forms of leadership. It is leading in a way that naturally inspires and organically creates space and connection that affect growth in the people that cross our path.

I wanna tell you that I love you. I love you so much. And I want you to love me too! Is that ok to say?? Yes. Yes it is.

And now here is a poem inspired by an amazing healing collaboration I just had with someone. Also, inspired by the storms rolling through.

I’m in pain. Can you see me?
Is it even ok to say I’m in pain?
Is it ok for me to ask you to be my guide?

Walking in the rain and feeling through the mist
The storm settling in as my woes I list

I didn’t know what would happen when I came to you.
I couldn’t have known you held my breakthrough.

It is amazing what happens when we pull together.
It’s as though we could make it through any kind of weather.

A new day has dawned and the skies are clearing.
Making the darkness conscious is abating all I was fearing.

I am a human…being.
No longer a human…fleeing.

Trapped in fight or flight
Not many could understand my plight.

Your humanity…has restored my sanity. And for that I am forever grateful 🙏🏻

Love,
Cozett

bettertogether

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The Cure For Our Disease

Wanting nothing gaining everything

Detach and declare to the deviant mind

Snatch the nightmare that threatens to bind

Shod your feet with the finest of soil

Worthwhile reward for your labor and toil

Running circles stamping out fire

Will it matter when you’re on the pyre?

Detach and declare victory to the overworked mind

Then come to me to rest…seek and you will find

Floating above the masses in awakening

Mind, body and soul quaking

It wasn’t hard to leave it behind

I left a breadcrumb trail for those inclined

Shaken…not stirred

As my dream engine whirred

We’ll meet in the ether

The pathway there is gold beneath her

Higher, higher and higher still

The only way I reach it just now is with a quill

The feather of which lufts me with ease

This may be the cure for our disease

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We Are All A Walking Eclipse

You…yes you.  And I.  As long as we are in this body we will be both darkness and light.  The intensity of the darkness and light will fluctuate in intensity as we journey.  That is because none of us are static.  We are not fixed beings.

I don’t care how much work Jesus does in you.  I don’t care how much inner work you do.  How much space you hold.  How many vices you conquer.   You will NOT take your last breath in a state of 100% virtue.

Since that’s the case…why are we so freaking uncomfortable when we see both darkness and light in another person?

I am convinced if we are ever going to attain the pinnacle of what is possible for existence in a flesh suit…then we have to embrace non-dualism and surrender any inclinations we may have in whipping morality or high ideals into the people around us.

Morality, love, virtue…these are things that laws cannot create.

Why do I want to be a good person?  It’s not because of my fear of being locked up or penalized if I don’t meet someone else’s expectations and measure up to their ideals.

It’s because I am inspired by the behavior of other good people.  Not because there is a cop, a preacher, a sheikh, a Buddha or some other moral “authority” looming large over me.

When I see good and it’s impact…it’s the example not the threat that provokes me to aspire to do and be better.

I promise you this. Your light makes people jealous.  Your darkness makes people want to capitalize on your weakness so that they appear more blameless.

Either way you go….you are going to make someone uncomfortable.   You are going to make someone mad.  You are going to encounter jealousy.

And, when you are comfortable letting other people see….really really see your nature that is both dark and light it will either push them out of your life because they haven’t grown to a point they are able to accommodate the grandness and the mystery that is you OR it will draw them into a place where they can FINALLY love and accept themselves and get unstuck in life.

The greatest gift we can give someone else is love.  And, love is so much more expansive than we give it credit for. 

I heard a quote recently from Hamlet.  “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

None of us have a monopoly on the understanding of the profundity and full implication of love.

Love is an ever unfolding multiverse in and of itself.  The bounds of it can’t be found.  So why do we want to bind people to what we should acknowledge is a limited and flawed philosophy of love?

I am pro human.  I love and embrace your humanity. It is no threat to me.  I celebrate the nuanced picture I am able to see of you.   We all have non-congruent qualities.  For many people….recognizing non-congruent qualities in another person often is taken as a red flag.  But, the majority of the time there is no reason for that.  It is a survival instinct.  It is a base instinct.

All my life I have felt like someone on the outside of life looking in at everyone else.  I have tons of non-congruent qualities.  Sometimes that bothers me (particularly if I’ve spent any time around people who are naturally critical and easily offended.)  Other times these qualities are a comfort for me, things that amuse me about myself that puts a sparkle in my eyes because I find myself so funny for holding so much darkness and light at the same time.

I am so tired of living life on the auto pilot that is political correctness.  I am over living my life in fawn mode with a false sense of guilt over religious expectations.  I will never be completely virtuous.  And, you won’t either. 

I will continue to live my life inspired and called by goodness rather than in mindless reaction to fear of chastisement.   There is no fear in love right? 

My greatest desire in life is to empower and encourage people to be who they are authentically without fear of some sort of being exiled for being who they are.  Got darkness?  Great!! Me too!!  Got light??  Awesome!! Shine with me??  Let’s prove to the world that we are inherently both and that IS inherently ok.

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“Hate to be so emotional
I didn’t mean to get physical
But when he pulled in and revved it up
I said you call that a pickup truck
And in the moonlight I throwed him down
A kicking, screaming, a rolling around
A little piece of a bloody tooth
Just so you know I was thinking of you
Just so you know I was oh….” Kings of Leon- Pickup Truck.

My new way of processing the hardships of life is stealing away in these hard to find moments to just sit in the pouring rain. Life has been so much I feel myself losing all ability to be apologetic. I am just so done with the prevailing criticism and unforgiving and merciless culture that our country has found itself in.

In my life love, mercy, compassion, accommodation, and hospitality rule. I have zero desire to analyze my fellow humans for the sake of pointing out perceived character flaws. I have zero desire to sensitize myself to potential offense.

Humanity is swampy. We are like one giant mosh pit of beliefs, traditions, cultures, philosophies, etc. It is inevitable we are going to crash into each other in this grand concert of life. It is inevitable someone is gonna sweat on us. Someone is gonna trip us, fall into us, push us. And if you can’t handle that and you’re so touchy then maybe the human experience isn’t for you.

And just like in the thrill of crowdsurfing at a concert someone is…..going to drop you. And if that is too much for you to handle then don’t bother going for the adventure to begin with.

I remember a concert back in my late teens. It was a grunge band. In this massive arena I was able to secure a spot on the floor and center stage of one of my favorite bands. There were people smoking, and screaming and moshing and just fully living the experience. I decided to jump into a mosh pit and found myself lifted up and crowdsurfing. It all happened so fast (life happens so fast.) It was such a rush!! I don’t even know how long I was above the crowd. It was so much fun and so wild and seemingly outta control. And I loved it. The people who were bearing me up in their hands were cheering and sweating and I felt so alive. But, it hurt. Their hands dug into my spine, bruised my back and my legs, cut my arm and I lost one of my shoes and then as quickly as I had been hoisted into the air as my favorite band roared about their own existential crisis (typical of grunge bands. If you know you know.) I was dropped.

I fell all my weight onto one of my knees and then some dude got pushed and he fell over me and stepped on my fingers.

And you know what??? I wouldn’t effin change that experience. Ever.

Are you kidding me?? A teenager. Front row, center stage. No. I am not going to complain. I am going to live.

There is a price to pay if you want to fully live.

There is a price to pay if you dare live out who you really are on the inside.

In life…you have front row, center stage with all the glory and frailty of humanity swirling around you.

Are you going to hone in on every person who accidentally crashes into your ego?? Because if you find yourself offended at someone else’s shortcomings and they’re not “measuring up” to your “reasonable” standards then that’s where you are. You’re in your ego. You’re in yourself. You’re foolishly squandering your front row, center stage.

And when you look back you’re not gonna remember the concert. No. You’re gonna remember, “well this person didn’t do this or that person didn’t do that or this person just isn’t a person of character. “

And all the while you’ve lost the big picture.

You surmise that the totality of a person’s nature can only be seen and measured by the moments they dropped you. By the moments they crashed into you.

Forsaking the understanding that we are all human and we are all doing the best we can with the time we have.

STOP living in perpetual offense! You have front row, center stage. The grunge band is roaring. You will never have this moment again. Can you hear my pleading??

Does anyone hear what I’m trying to say?? Am I alone in this??

In the rain at Renaissance Park in Chattanooga, TN
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What Are The Mechanics Of Receiving?

Thinking today about all the good things I deserve.  Life, love, respect, fun, rest, good sleep, etc.

When I think about the good things it occurs to me that in order to have them I need to “come”  to receive them.

Here’s what I mean.  Say you get a notice that you have a package at the post office waiting on you.  And, you know it’s something you’ve been wanting for a long time.  You have the emotion or feeling of being excited.

But.  It’s not going to be brought to you.  It’s going to require work and cost to get it.  1.  You have to leave your house.  2.  You have to drive.  3.  You use gas to get there and back.  4.  You spend time in the getting.  5.  And, if you’re a southern introvert like me you have to endure random interactions with strangers while smiling as they hand you the package when you arrive at the desk, possibly after standing in line.

For some reason I have a disconnect when it comes to receiving.  I am willing to show up and do the work.  But, after that it’s like I’m standing at the postal desk smiling back and forth with a stranger and the reception never happens.

I don’t know “how” to receive. Like, what are the mechanics of receiving?  Maybe I’m guarded?  Maybe it’s the self-hatred I’ve unearthed and am still working through?  Maybe its skepticism about what’s really in store for me?

All I know is that I feel called to, “come and receive.”  And, try as I may I never get beyond the part where I show up. 

Anyone else relate to this?

How do you receive all the good things you need and deserve?  The good things being offered to you.

There is a verse from Matthew’s gospel that has tugged at me for some years now.  And, I can’t help but feel such resistance and ignorance when I meditate on it.

Jesus Christ quoted as saying:

“Come to Me all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”

To further expand on the original Greek tenses and richness of context and spirit for the verse The Message reads it like this:  “Come to Me.  Get away with Me.  You’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with Me and work with Me- watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

(Matthew 11:28-30).

What are the mechanics of receiving? 

I understand allowing is part of this puzzle.  I understand that perhaps open arms, or up turned hands are part of it.  But, I feel there is some sort of inner disposition and maybe spiritual quality involved that I either don’t have or just need to develop in order to receive good things.

What are some of the best things you’ve ever received? 

How did they come to you or how did you come to them?

Were you able to receive quickly and readily?

What advice would you give to help someone you care about understand how to receive?



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Healing The Past

On the path of self-actualization we understand that we are striving to be better.  In that pursuit of betterment its common to reference the past.  After all, this is from where we grow.  Our past, good or bad or indifferent serves as a springboard or a contrast.  It can show us who we no longer want to be and the emotional charge we have when we think about it can create the momentum needed to make progress toward actualizing.

As someone who is known as a listener I can think of basically three narratives I’ve heard concerning people’s past and how it shapes what they want for their future.  The classic “bad” past, where pain functions as the prompt to betterment.  We see this in a lot of famous motivational and inspirational speakers.  The “good” past, where someone was fortunate enough to be born into a family or tradition that was conducive for growth and that person is so inspired by their forebears they want to build on the legacy they’ve been left.  And, the “indifferent” past.  Basically, its colorless.  Normal ups and downs.  But, the person feels that due to the lack of intensity in either direction they are somehow at a disadvantage to leave their mark on the world.  And, so they are in a search for passion, purpose and meaning.

Recently, I’m thankful to have been experiencing profound growth.  My character has been tested.  My understanding of the world around me has grown.  My emotions have been pummeled.  The very foundations of “why” I think the way I do are being shaken.  I’m growing.  I’m moving toward betterment and away from deleterious thinking and behavior.  And, now that I’m beginning to see a definite chasm between who I once was and who I’d like to think I am becoming I’ve noticed that my past is coming up seemingly out of the blue.  Its as though its emerging from the recesses of me and saying, “remember me.  I need help too.  Please don’t forget I am part of your healing journey.  I, your past, am not some character that deserves to be quarantined.  I was once you.  And, because of that I also deserve all the health that you are creating for the new you.”

Deep right?  Painful?  Wow.  So much.  Thankfully, about the time my past started stirring in my consciousness so did this theme of “compassion as medicine.”  When I saw these two things emerging together I knew it was time to examine some of my behaviors and thinking from the past but not for the purpose of crucifying myself in some grand effort to be a better person.  I intuitively understood that for me to forge ahead into this bright future I’m hoping for myself that I needed to, for the first time, show compassion and minister mercy to who I once was.

In thinking about healing from the past I discovered that I was presenting myself with only two options: “killing” the old me or coping better.  Maybe you can identify with this?  There are more options.  Better options.  I think its safe to say that many people who feel bound by the past often want that part of them or that part of their history to “die.”  But, that isn’t a great option.  Death is indicative of numbness and unfeeling.  A sense of non-existence.  But, I submit that feeling…deeply and intentionally and comprehensively could be a portal of sorts to freedom and growth.  I want to challenge anyone who reads this…not to numb out.  Your emotions are sacred.  Your intuition is more trustworthy than you give it credit for and I believe it is in the feeling “through” that our true north can be found.  Now, with that said don’t beat yourself for wanting to numb out!

I believe that in an effort to mute pain and to lend strength to the momentum of who we are becoming our wounded egos can sometimes cause us to segue to an unproductive mindset that says, “the new me, the stronger and better me must rush in and bitterly scourge my past self if the better me I’m becoming is to be valid.”  This is actually quite common amongst deeply religious people.  Those who feel they are on the highest quest to express their need for redemption are often the worst in their tendency to mutilate their inner being.  When really their greatest need is healing.   In my own experience I’ve discovered that this rush to scourge and chastise the past part of me was/is an effort to create peace and closure.  Sounds counter-productive because it is!  Once I recognized this I gave myself permission to not only feel through my past (notice I didn’t say “think through”) but to honor who I was at one time.  This is very healing.  Highly recommend it.  At the end of the day we each make decisions based on our current state of enlightenment, education, emotional maturity, needs, and circumstances.  And, I happen to naturally believe the best about people so I believe that we are all doing the best we can with what we have.  Negative emotions of depression, anxiety, or regret do NOT carry the innate ability to compensate for a painful past.  They only create a vicious cycle of self-defeating and self-sabotaging patterns.

If we want to honestly prime ourselves and position ourselves to be better its time to release the habit of going to dark places when striving for the light.  Read that again, please? Its time to relearn how to do this thing called life.  If you are a self-aware person you’ll know your patterns.  And, I want to encourage you to start intentionally swapping negative mindsets and emotions for more life-giving ones.  Give yourself time to feel through the past and the permission to honor who you once were.  Just as you would honor the dearly departed and imperfect people who have been a part of your life you should also do this for yourself.  It is a healing balm.  And, as of now, what I believe the higher way to heal the past.

Here’s to the medicine of compassion.  Salut.

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