Tag: Hermetic wisdom

We Are All A Walking Eclipse

You…yes you.  And I.  As long as we are in this body we will be both darkness and light.  The intensity of the darkness and light will fluctuate in intensity as we journey.  That is because none of us are static.  We are not fixed beings.

I don’t care how much work Jesus does in you.  I don’t care how much inner work you do.  How much space you hold.  How many vices you conquer.   You will NOT take your last breath in a state of 100% virtue.

Since that’s the case…why are we so freaking uncomfortable when we see both darkness and light in another person?

I am convinced if we are ever going to attain the pinnacle of what is possible for existence in a flesh suit…then we have to embrace non-dualism and surrender any inclinations we may have in whipping morality or high ideals into the people around us.

Morality, love, virtue…these are things that laws cannot create.

Why do I want to be a good person?  It’s not because of my fear of being locked up or penalized if I don’t meet someone else’s expectations and measure up to their ideals.

It’s because I am inspired by the behavior of other good people.  Not because there is a cop, a preacher, a sheikh, a Buddha or some other moral “authority” looming large over me.

When I see good and it’s impact…it’s the example not the threat that provokes me to aspire to do and be better.

I promise you this. Your light makes people jealous.  Your darkness makes people want to capitalize on your weakness so that they appear more blameless.

Either way you go….you are going to make someone uncomfortable.   You are going to make someone mad.  You are going to encounter jealousy.

And, when you are comfortable letting other people see….really really see your nature that is both dark and light it will either push them out of your life because they haven’t grown to a point they are able to accommodate the grandness and the mystery that is you OR it will draw them into a place where they can FINALLY love and accept themselves and get unstuck in life.

The greatest gift we can give someone else is love.  And, love is so much more expansive than we give it credit for. 

I heard a quote recently from Hamlet.  “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

None of us have a monopoly on the understanding of the profundity and full implication of love.

Love is an ever unfolding multiverse in and of itself.  The bounds of it can’t be found.  So why do we want to bind people to what we should acknowledge is a limited and flawed philosophy of love?

I am pro human.  I love and embrace your humanity. It is no threat to me.  I celebrate the nuanced picture I am able to see of you.   We all have non-congruent qualities.  For many people….recognizing non-congruent qualities in another person often is taken as a red flag.  But, the majority of the time there is no reason for that.  It is a survival instinct.  It is a base instinct.

All my life I have felt like someone on the outside of life looking in at everyone else.  I have tons of non-congruent qualities.  Sometimes that bothers me (particularly if I’ve spent any time around people who are naturally critical and easily offended.)  Other times these qualities are a comfort for me, things that amuse me about myself that puts a sparkle in my eyes because I find myself so funny for holding so much darkness and light at the same time.

I am so tired of living life on the auto pilot that is political correctness.  I am over living my life in fawn mode with a false sense of guilt over religious expectations.  I will never be completely virtuous.  And, you won’t either. 

I will continue to live my life inspired and called by goodness rather than in mindless reaction to fear of chastisement.   There is no fear in love right? 

My greatest desire in life is to empower and encourage people to be who they are authentically without fear of some sort of being exiled for being who they are.  Got darkness?  Great!! Me too!!  Got light??  Awesome!! Shine with me??  Let’s prove to the world that we are inherently both and that IS inherently ok.

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Reflections On Dualism: Transitioning Into Greater Dimensions

I’ve slept maybe 3 hours. I’ve thought all night about subjectivity and relativity. About vibrance and frailty. About the fading nature of seemingly pinnacle pursuits and how very much I’ve grown as a human and am growing. I have undergone major paradigm shifts in the last 3 years or so and pain and sorrow have been the catalysts for all of them. My philosophy about the human experience has always been a circumspect one. But there has been an added robustness to my circumspection over the last few years. I have shed and shed and shed old skin to the point that I often feel raw and vulnerable and uncertain if I have the toughness that comes with older skin to endure my journey onward.

But I truly understand now that while tough skin may feel more comfortable as it is harder to the elements it is also the epitome of an attempt to constrain something that is boundless and infinite in nature and that is my inner world. My inner self.

What a walking contradiction we each are.

The way our brains interpret the world around us and cobble together a conscious reality is fascinating, beautiful and brute all at the same time. We will only ever possess a fragmented reality at best. You will never fully know me and I will never fully know you. But blessed are they who journey inwardly. In as much that we might better know ourselves and grasp at the shadows and light that we all have within us with unashamed and unapologetic courage and tenacity.

It’s not enough to know yourself in your most basic survivalistic form. In fact if that’s all you ever know it’s a smack in the face and an insult to your purpose and your fleeting time in service to your fellow humans.

There is so much more to you….than the you that you currently know. There is an entire ether that lies below your skin and in between every cell in your body.

You are worth the discovery. And if you are not trekking through the no man’s land of your inner world, your shadow lands and exploring the brilliant multi-faceted and multi-dimensional landscapes of your soul then you are missing out on one of the most mysterious wonders of this world.

Today I call you to rise. You are capable of greater. You are inherently expansive. You are on this planet at this time for a grand reason. Find it. And once you find it….pursue it, hone it, experiment feeling in advance all the potential emotions that would accompany it.

Our emotions are not truths in and of themselves. But they are wonderful devices for alchemizing pain. And that alchemy can lead us to places where we continually set and achieve higher goals. Goals with ends that cannot be contained within fading contexts and ever changing realities.

There is more. There is so much more for you and to you.

In our current culture we are so set on analyzing every word, every movement and nuance we pick up on in someone else.

It is time to turn our gaze inward and realize that time spent analyzing someone would be better spent knowing yourself.

I urge you to pay attention to how much time you spend sizing others up and trying to determine who you think they are (because you will never actually know that) versus how much time you spend trying to discover parts of yourself that have lied dormant and neglected because you’ve invested so much time and energy determining why you should either demonize or saint someone outside yourself.

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Hermetic Wisdom In Modern Times: The Behavior of Jesus

Isaiah 53:7 He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

Romans 8:35-36

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1,7- To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ….a time to keep silence and a time to speak.

Jesus. My favorite wisdom Teacher. One of my all time favorite qualities about Jesus was “how” He demonstrated wisdom. Why? Because His wisdom was always illogical. His wisdom was countercultural. His wisdom operated illegally. By law He was guilty of breaking the law of sabbath. So what happened in this moment of lawlessness that made Him guilty? He cured someone. Healed a woman who had been crippled in her back for 18 years. I mean….it had gone on 18 years I’m sure it could’ve waited till it wasn’t the Sabbath day right?? But Jesus demonstrated that taking care of His fellow human was more important than what religion said He should or should not be doing with His life. Let’s take it a step further shall we? A human of whom was whispered to be the very Son of YHWH. YHWH in human form if you will. So the question would be: “If this man believes Himself to be the very Son of YHWH then why is He breaking YHWH’s laws?” That fruit don’t line up does it? Or…does it?

This is a very elementary example but I honestly don’t believe if I used any of the more complex instances that this post would be palatable or perceivable. Heck it probably won’t be anyway. And, this is where I want to segue into the wisdom and time of silence.

From the mainstream universally acceptable accounts of Jesus’ life He doesn’t come across as either chatty or quiet. He spoke tenderly to the impoverished masses and to the demon possessed and to His own protege. But, more often than not when he would speak to His fellow religious leaders His words were cunning and terse. And, at least in one instance His voice was raised as He wreaked havoc in the temple. It cut Him to His core to see what course religious practices had run. It was alarming to Him. It was infuriating to Him. But, to the earnest devotees of the temple His actions were completely out of order. Why? The fact that their routines and their doctrines produced what He saw in the temple….was lost on them. It did not occur to them that what they were doing as regular attendees was actually disgusting.

The people were so careful to tithe even their kitchen herbs!! They would bring a tenth of all their mint, cumin, dill, etc. But they would neglect the more important issues. Issues like, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Like, don’t give me your herbs, your doves, your sacrifices, your harvests…..SHOW ME you LOVING YOUR FELLOW HUMAN and PREFERRING YOUR FELLOW HUMAN as BETTER THAN YOURSELF. THAT is what He wanted to see! To hell with the herbs. What about the humans?? What about the cruel idiocy of religion to restrict and then penalize even Jesus for curing another human all because it was done “on the wrong day.”

He said something to the effect of, “you tithe your herbs and mint and cumin but you neglect the weightier matters of the law.” Basically, you strain at gnats but swallow camels! Or you nitpick about things that aren’t as important as other things but when it comes to the big things you just miss it all the way around. Examples of this would be Christian extremist groups who decry women preachers. They spend money, time, prayer, fasting, warning, admonishing, preaching against, speaking out on social media against women preachers and they invest themselves into proving someone wrong rather than focusing on the weightier matter. What is that matter? Loving others the way they themselves want to be loved. God’s love is robust. So, when I hear people say, “Love the person hate the sin.” I want to vomit. Am I saying God loves sin? Nope. I am saying that God’s love is all encompassing. Enveloping. And….it is not dualistic.

I was once part of mainstream, evangelical Christianity. I grew up as a Jehovah’s witness. At the age of 12 my cousin took me to a Pentecostal Church and I FELL IN LOVE with the atmosphere of worship and preaching. When I heard and felt what I heard and felt in that service I knew when I got older that’s all I wanted for my life. Well. God works in mysterious ways doesn’t He? So as an adult I got into church and it was evident to the elders and pastor that I had a gift to preach and expound the Bible. Long story short I spent many years pastoring and evangelizing. Assistant Pastor and holding revivals and doing conferences. I made hospital visits at all hours of the night. I’ve attended and been a part of exorcisms. And, laid hands on and prayed for more people than I can count. Additionally, I pursued a Bachelor’s degree in Bible at Lee University with the intentions of going on to seminary.

As my ministry grew my (now ex) husband shrank back and became completely disinterested in church. He despised that I was preaching and praying and worshipping. He gave me an ultimatum. Give up my dream of preaching, speaking and teaching and go into full time real estate…or else. So, I dropped my dream because obviously my marriage was more important to God than what He had called me to do from the foundation of the world. It was the right religious wife thing to do. And. I was bloody miserable. I told him that if I did this it would negatively effect our marriage. But, he insisted. He was greedy. I desperately didn’t want to quit so I tried working 2 full time jobs. Ministry and real estate. Staying at the office till 11 pm so many nights. Crying over deals with issues that had nothing to do with me yet I caught the brunt of the anger of it because I was their agent and it was a reflection on me. Then I’d leave and respond to hospital calls from members of the church who were sick or in accidents. Then I’d prepare my sermons and preach the next morning. It was like this for a year or more and I broke. I had nothing at home in the way of comfort. My husband was very stoic, harsh and rarely showed me the affection due a wife. When I came home I needed a safe haven and there was none save solitude. So I stayed in the bedroom and prayed through the pangs of guilt for working so much and resigning from the church.

Long story short I left him. I was miserable. He was mean. And, the trauma of 17 years of mental, emotional and verbal abuse broke my spirit. I never cried after I left. You see I had mourned and grieved my marriage many years before it was over. To this day I don’t know if I’m just so wounded that I’m numb and can’t feel bad about leaving or if I just properly and thoroughly grieved it and I am genuinely ok.

Now, here I was a former pastor and evangelist and divorcee’. I needed a break from church because I was mad at God for not making my husband a better person. I was mad because in spite of all the tears, praying, fasting, and gut-wrenching pleading to change myself so I could be more acceptable to my husband….NOTHING changed. I felt like God left me hanging.

So, I took a hiatus from the church. I thought perhaps after I had healed I could start visiting again to find a new home church and get back in an atmosphere of worship. Worship is my big thing. I am a worshipper through and through. And, I missed that more than anything or anyone else.

Years later I finally decided to start visiting. Found a few places I liked and felt comfortable at and then…..TRUMP happened. And my previously tender hearted “non-political” friends who refused to vote suddenly started literally singing his praises and making short-sighted dogmatic statements that basically say, “if you aren’t republican then you are not of God.” This is their belief system. I found it repulsive and very eye-opening. It was a catalystic moment for me. Why did I find it very eye-opening? Why did I find their actions to be a catalyst for my life? For the same reasons Jesus found religion and the religiously devoted to be repulsive and blind. I’ll give it to you in the Words and Thoughts of my Rabbi from an account in the Gospel of John 2:23-25 in the Amplified version (which is extremely accurate. Way more accurate than King James Version since it is a direct translation from original manuscripts rather than a translation of other translations fit for the English language.

“Now when He was in Jerusalem at the Passover feast, many believed in His name [identifying themselves with Him] after seeing His signs (attesting miracles) which He was doing. 24 But Jesus, for His part, did not entrust Himself to them, because He knew all people [and understood the superficiality and fickleness of human nature], 25 and He did not need anyone to testify concerning man [and human nature], for He Himself knew what was in man [in their hearts—in the very core of their being].

Jesus knew that He could not entrust Himself to certain people because He knew what was “in them.” Their fickle nature and short-sightedness and ego and craftily obscured hate via what we now know as id.

I know that I cannot entrust my light. I cannot entrust my enlightenment to just anyone. I cannot entrust certain layers and complexities of myself to most people. I suspect that just this post alone will be enough to cause feelings of grief, anger, confusion, disillusionment and disappointment. But, I am unapologetically me. I am unapologetically enlightened. That’s not something I can back down from.

God told me years ago that I would be like a city on a hill. I know this to be true. He also gave me Isaiah 54 and promised that all my (spiritual) offspring will be taught by YHWH Himself.

So in God’s wisdom guess what I’m going to do with that. I’m not gonna hide my light, per se. But, probably to the great relief of many who read this….I will retreat and run away with it. Why? Because for me…it is a season of silence. I have lost all desire to engage in or debate or to even have light exchange when it comes to “how” authentic Christianity is expressed. I just know what we are seeing now by and large, is not it.

I have very little to say about the current state of our world and politics and communities and churches and religions. Why? Because my words do not matter. All that matters right now is silence. And that silence is wisdom and wisdom will be proven right by her offspring.

Everyday I feel like I face a form of death. The death of my ego and super-ego and id. The death of my mental health as I hear about the rampant state of Covid. The death of my emotional health as I scroll through my feed and see Christian friends pronouncing people who aren’t like them as damned to hell, not of God, deceived or otherwise separated from God due to their lifestyle or behavior not lining up with the Word! Well guess what??? When Jesus healed that person on the sabbath….The WORD HIMSELF DIDN’T EVEN LINE UP WITH THE WORD!! (Torah).

We have got to get over ourselves and remove these self-installed mantles of morality and do the real work. The authentic work of faith. I ain’t even gonna outline what I think that is. Why? Because it’s time people of faith have their brains exercised by open-ended questions rather closed-ended dogmas.

Maranatha,

Cozett

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