Science Is The Twin Flame Of Spirit

For nearly the entirety of my life I have spent my free time, my play time, contemplating life. How big it is. Why people do what they do. Why people think the way they think. Why people interacted with me the way they did. What does the future hold for the universe as we know it. What impact does the unseen have on the seen.

My childhood and adolescence was quite traumatic. Because of this my mamaw fiercely guarded my play and rest time. She knew that through her love and the therapy that only nature could provide I would have a shot at transitioning into a normal adulthood. Whenever domestic violence or some other drama wasn’t actively occurring she made sure that I was able to have that down time to sleep. Now, lots of sleep is nothing unique about the teenage experience. But for me prolonged sleep was imperative for my mind, emotions and body to recover from the stress of crises.

My senior year in high school brought a lot of change naturally. I was launching into legal adulthood, choosing whether or not I wanted to continue educational pursuits or take a break (I took a break), experiencing milestone events like prom, graduation, getting my first car, applying for jobs, finding my father on my 18th birthday, and of course surviving the overdoses of my mother. My senior year was so intense that I would often lie to my friends and tell them I was grounded just so I could stay home on the weekend to think about life.

As a child I would run barefoot from the house down the sloping front yard and to a pond where the cattle would gather to drink. I would first walk around the entire pond in the gray claylike mud looking for tadpoles. Nothing was more satisfying in those days than feeling the slick smooth clay of the pond to squish between my toes and see my feet disappear slowly into the murky waters as the tadpoles would gather around my ankles. I took those moments in slowly. Thinking about the feeling. The sight. What it meant to the tadpoles. Did they really flee in terror so quickly at my splashes only to return and gather unknowingly around the source of the splash?

The pond was spring fed and the spring was terraced with tiny waterfalls that eventually gave way to the opening of the pond. I would walk up into the spring to it’s very head and at its main waterfall (which hit at about the height of my knees) and pretend to be making medicines with some gnarly fallen limb from the woods. I would take my stick and jab through the top of the fall into the mud below. Think mortar and pestle. I would declare to my imaginary audience that I had just found a cure for whatever ailed them. After passing around my medicine I would go lay inside a circle of trees beside the pond and just look up at the sky for hours. Until I was either called home or found I would lay and look and think.

At the time of this writing I am 43 years old. I have devoted my life thus far to the pursuit of understanding why people think the way think and how the unseen impacts the seen. In thinking about how the unseen impacts the seen it is an inescapable thing at this juncture in history to think in terms of God. The concept of God. The understanding of God affects the thought lives of billions of people and for the atheist or agnostic they are also impacted by the beliefs of other’s beliefs about God. In short there is no escaping God. Even if you don’t believe in God you probably are in relationship with others who do and that absolutely impacts your reality, the justice you are able to receive by a legal system that is influenced by the belief in God, relational ethics and dynamics that are influenced by others belief in God. From sexuality to spirituality all these things are shaped by the concept of God whether it is a personally held concept or not.

Since 2019 I have experienced the hardest years of my adult life. I’m feeling disillusioned and disappointed. But, I’m discovering if it weren’t for my disillusionment I would have no chance at “reillusioning” a theory and philosophy that works for me. If not for disappointment I would have had no shot at being reappointed into a higher perspective. One that helps me finally to feel a level of self-assurance that will translate to my own soul how perfectly capable I am of relying on myself and trusting myself to be able to protect myself.

I am well-studied, well-versed in all of the major world religions and spiritualities. Not as an enthusiast. But, a genuine learner. I have been careful to take a scholarly approach to all things unseen, all things faith related. I’ve always intuitively felt that the intangible held the keys for a humanity who can holistically understand the world and people around them. And through that I, we, could form a sure scaffolding for a reliable hope.

As I’ve researched the world’s major organized religions I have observed the following:

Each one subscribes to a main, male deity who feels insulted if other gods are adored or seen as powerful or wise. Monotheism. But, how can monotheism be monotheism if the “the” acknowledges that there are other gods? Thou shalt have no other gods before Me, yes? Then it follows that there are in fact other entities, other gods by the admission of the deity who says it’s wrong for any other deity to receive adoration.
Researching as far back into recorded history as is humanly possible we understand the earth’s oldest spirituality is Hinduism. Hinduism is polytheistic but still features male deities as the ultimate gods to whom everyone is an emanation of. Hinduism, however, does at least teach that these male gods have female counterparts, or female energetic expressions that should be equally worshipped since they understand that masculine energy is incomplete without the feminine.
In mythology which served as a religious context for many in the ancient world we see that our collective, those before us, were immersed in a world of legends held to be truth or fact. The stories of Zeus, Calliope, Cupid, Achilles, Aphrodite, Venus are all so fantastical that those of us who cut our teeth in western thought and the allopathic treatment of the intangible almost lack the capacity to believe in the unconsciousness from which they all sprang to be dealt with by the conscious. Demigods? Absolutely real. But, wait that concept is also echoed by Jesus in the NT of the Bible when He boldly declared to the super religious of his day that….”you all are gods.” Incarnated wisdom. Incarnated goodness. Incarnated creators. This is what we think a good God should be. Wise, good, and tirelessly producing.

In the last several years I’ve found the answers to many of my nagging questions about life in quantum physics and the study of metaphysics. As someone who was raised in a southeast Tennessee Christian context I was acutely aware of the history of Christians balking at science. At one time, not too long ago Christians would kill any other human who thought the world was round. The church regarded this teaching as a point of major doctrine and anyone who opposed that thought was deemed a heretic and punished accordingly. I resolved as an adolescent to listen to science no matter what because to me, to walk in this world as a single-faceted human who only has the ability to disseminate ignorant rigidity concerning the intangible is an utter betrayal of the mystery that sent me to this planet. It would be a cosmic travesty and a coward’s journey for me.

As I sat with my observations I endeavored to honestly explore the implications of them. To the best of my ability I’ve tried to allow the observations all the latitude of God. Because if truth is found in God then God isn’t afraid of the truth. How can I discount one and exalt another simply because the one I choose to exalt tells me to do so? If you have only one dollar to your name and it is in your pocket and you are dehydrated are you going to spend that dollar on water or will you throw it in the trash because someone who seems more hydrated than you tells you to do it and do it with joy because joy is a virtue do you throw it away? In the same way I have chosen my wells and I hope you do too.

As I began to finally have a big picture developing I’ve been able to think through what the implications of this big picture mean to me and how I will allow or disallow them to shape my life and relationships and career and philosophy about life in general.

Every single belief we hold has within it an origination, an emanation, an elation and a declination. Concerning God I no longer have to understand origination because that is truly impossible to know. But, emanation is where I pick up the trail and follow out each belief to see what does this belief entail, how has it shaped the world and people around me, what did or will it look like when it reaches its fullest expression, and what will its declination look like, do I already see its declination, if so what does it look like and what are the implications of its decline. If it hasn’t happened yet but I can see it coming what are the implications of its decline for me personally, and what are the implications of its decline for my neighbor.

In short, everything, every deity, every belief, philosophy will at some point collapse back in to itself. It may resurrect or reassert itself again later or it may fall away completely and out of the reach of the annuls of history for someone like you or me to discover or know that it even existed. Oscillation and vibration is everything. Why? Because literally everything tangible and intangible is comprised of electromagnetic energy. My theology, my cat, the bird on my balcony, the poem in my heart that hasn’t been written down or recited for any ears. All oscillating and vibrating. The higher the vibration the healthier is that thing, person, animal, belief. If there is no vibration. No oscillation. Then there is death. There is no escaping that reality. Your body is made up of approximately one trillion cells. Every second your body is undergoing thousands of chemical processes to keep you alive. Thousands. Every second. Completely unaware your body is carrying out its assignment.

So, where does this position me? I am a Pisces. I’m a poet. I’m a philosopher. I’m an INFJ. I am a manifestor according to human design. I am naturally and now unapologetically a metaphorical and highly spiritual person. The disillusionment and disappointment over the years have once and finally threatened willingness to believe that if a higher power exists then it exists to protect me and cheer me on as I walk through life. I’ve spent so many days crying. So many days wishing I could gather together the most prominent spiritual leaders of every organized religion and major spirituality and screaming at them, “I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!! I SEE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. I KNOW WHY YOU BELIEVE THIS. BUT, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THERE SEEMS TO EXIST ONLY A CHASM BETWEEN BELIEF AND REALITY. BECAUSE ALL TOO OFTEN THE BEHAVIOR OF YOUR ADHERENTS DO NOT MATCH THE BELIEF YOU HOLD. PLEASE PROVE TO ME WITH ALL YOUR WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE AND BEHAVIOR THAT YOUR WAY IS IN FACT THE BEST OR ONLY WAY. BECAUSE AS I STACK YOUR BELEIF AND YOUR ORIGIN STORIES AND YOUR PHILOSOPHIES AND PRACTICES TO OTHERS, WHO SAY SIMILAR THINGS I DON’T SEE HOW IT’S ANY BETTER OR SO UNIQUE THAT IT INDICATES YOUR BELIEF IS THE MOST ORIGINAL AND OLDEST AND THEREFORE THE MOST CORRECT AND SURE.”

I’ve sat with my unbelief. And I’ve realized that if I sever the part of me that is nourished by mystery and metaphor then I will kill myself. I will kill who I am at my core. So, in light of that I have deduced that my healing will not happen if I become atheist in an effort to cope with my hardship and confusion. My most sure path of healing will not include the world of mystery and metaphor but it will be my unique voice. My wilderness cry in a world that has no interest in deep listening. My voice is truly in a desert. It is dry and desolate here and in order to inhabit it you have to have a special skillset that many do not naturally possess nor are they interested in possessing. It’s quiet. The silence alone has born witness to my thought. And, it has been during my contemplation that I have concluded that spirituality cannot and should not be separated from what we consider reality. The gods have always lived among us. They have all at some point or another lived in us in the form of mysteries. Some people shake their fists at mystery because to them mystery is misery. It is a psychological plague. It removes their control and grip on their own understanding of life and as we have seen with the crusades this causes violence because it activates the bruteness and lower vibrational emotions such as anger, hate, superiority, elitism, etc.

As I meditated earlier today I decided, “I will no longer try to separate myth and mystery from science. When I read stories about how demigods came into existence, or how monks and nuns and mystics have levitated during prolonged periods of meditations, or how a scientist used the power of his mind to heal his own broken bones….I understand that the truth lies in the mystery.” Fact doesn’t have to be separated from fiction. Remember the chasm I mentioned? That chasm is space. Space between the intangible and tangible. Space between belief and practiced reality. Space. Did you know that an atom is 99.999999999% empty space? And, if you removed the empty space from the atoms of all people, the entire human race could fit in the volume of a sugar cube? Empty space where there is no obligation to believe a certain doctrine or dogma, empty space where there is no demand for decision, empty space that is completely and infinitely neutral, empty space like this should be inherent and integrated into belief system in the world whether atheistic, polytheistic, or monotheistic.

I came away from my meditation with this specific thought in my mind, “the mysterium, the mythology, theology cannot and never will be reduced down to simple calculation that is explained away by science. Science is the twin flame of spirit.” Little did I know only an hour or so later as I continued my study about physics that I would come across a quote by Nassim Haramein, a unified physics researcher and scientist. He said, “Physics without philosophy is lost in mathematics. You have to have a fundamental concept to write the math that works. And that is called thought, philosophy.”

Today my footing is more sure not because of hard and fast and provable science but because I am intrinsically rooted in mystery. I am found in metaphor. And I await science to discover me.

Yours in thought,

Cozett

October 13, 2022 0

Authentic…Unto Death

Sitting here in the dark, dimly lit bedroom I’ll soon never sleep in again. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes sitting with my chunky headphones on listening to, “Return to Innocence” by Enigma on repeat and watching Talia sleep. I’m still processing the last 24 hours when she became suddenly blind. If the past 3 years have taught me anything it is to slow down and spend prolonged time taking in the people, animals, and good memories made.

I stink, I’m sweaty and not even gonna shower before I fall asleep. But, my Talia…she’s blind. And, now I finally realize and regret my own blindness. I’ve allowed everything and everyone to get in the way of me living my life in a more rooted way. A more earthy way. That’s all we really have you know?

A few years ago I read a web article about pet euthanasia. The majority of pets who experience euthanasia do so in the company of the techs and vet and staff because it’s so hurtful to see your fur baby/child to transition in front of you. And, that was absolutely my mindset. But, a few techs and vets weighed in and offered an alternative perspective on pet euthanasia.   They all stated that while they completely understand why pet owners don’t want to be there to witness the event and that they will always respect people’s grief process, they long to see more pet owners be present. Pets have a very small circle of family and friends. In the short span of their lives they will live in a home with family and friends who come and go. So they may only know maybe 10 people give or take for their entire lives. They never get a break from us, haha. But, the thing is they never feel smothered and if it was possible they would stay within our shadow and by our sides every single second for a millenia. Their love and devotion is bottomless, untiring, ever cheerful, ever patient, ever thrilled to hear our voice, see our face, smell our scent. Whether it’s the first time they sniff you or the millionth time their enthusiasm never diminishes or fades, it only brings their hearts that much closer to ours.   They only ever love us more every day they’re alive.

When I read this a light went off. Talia loves me with everything in her. You can literally feel her love energy. And while I am her #1 favorite human she’s like this about any human she’s ever met. Instantly warm, curious, and gentle hoping for some affection and a new friendship. She has never been scared of anything. Loud sounds, thunder storms, shrieks of little ones playing or crying.

In fact when it thunderstorms sometimes she and I go out on the porch and I sit her in my lap and we watch the lightning and feel the rain spray in gently and coolly upon our bodies and faces. When it lightnings I can see the spray on her fur and it looks like dew.

She intently looked up at the sky and followed the lightning streaks with her eyes. Sniffing the wind occasionally for some wild scents. Never flinching, squirming, or tense. Relaxed, intrigued, longing to see what it would feel like up in the sky above her. She is such a brave old girl. Car rides? She loves them. Going for a walk on a leash? Yes, please.

My constant companion whom has shown me much greater and deeper love than the majority of humans who have been in my life.

Because of this I resolved that when the day comes if I am able to have any forewarning of her passing I will hold her in my arms and sing her her favorite lullabys. I’ve reworded I don’t know how many songs to include her name and take her beautiful gentle life into adventure stories, sleepy time songs, and of course my doting love songs over my precious cat. I will stay by her side just like she has mine. My arms, hands, scent and voice, touch, body warmth and love….as much love as any human could ever possibly hold…my love for her will be the last experience she has here. She never left my side and I’ll never leave hers either. Ever. I’ll be holding her and kissing her little knobby head and singing to her until she’s in the arms of the angels.

Her gentleness is like her own cottony fur. So tender and soft you can hardly even feel it touching your skin. She’s so tiny. At the time of this writing she weighs about 6 lbs. She’s a bit underweight even though she’s small.   I’m not entirely sure what breeds she’s made from but she has a tortoise siamese colored coat and deep, dark blue eyes (that now look a bit purple in her blindness). And she’s very short, low to the ground, haha. And her little tail is short. She’s built like a munchkin but has the coat and eyes of a Siamese.

Her little multi-colored paws look like they are ringed in caramel. And she loves belly rubs. And 99% of the time doesn’t attack my hand. That 1% though….she’s got a streak. I guess if she didn’t she wouldn’t have been able to put up with mine and Margo Holder s crap all these years, hahaha. Margo often says that Talia is her spirit animal and believe me when I say, she is not wrong.

At any rate, beyond all of this the last 24 hours of her going suddenly completely blind has opened my eyes to something I’ve decided I want to do that will likely seem odd to more people than not. But, that’s how I roll anyway.

I have deep regrets about not spending as much time with my family and friends as I’d like to. I’ve allowed life to get in the way. And if I allow life to be a stumbling block…what will that mean at death?

For many years now I’ve casually researched death doulas. Most people don’t even know what a doula is much less a death doula. Now, I’m not saying I want to be or am going to be a death doula by profession. But, there are some facets of their work that I am going to implement where it’s appropriate and of course permissible.

I have decided that I want my heart to break wide open and hold my family and friends in my arms as they transition so that it is my hands, my arms, my energy, my truest and deepest love for them to be what they are enveloped in as they transition.

I’ve always been a lover. A hugger…to the point of extreme and strange awkwardness.

But, how can I apologize for that? And, for what reason should I reign it in? Covid-19 wiped millions of people off this planet in the blink of an eye comparatively speaking. And, not just Covid, but wars, disasters, political rhetoric that has risen to the point that brother is against brother. I long for the day to see field upon field joined to pastures and woodlands filled with a great many more plowshares. As it is, sheaths clamor and tremble longing for the bloodied blades to return again for fear of being found guilty before God as being accomplices.

Blood is crying out from the ground but we can’t hear it because the main stream has become the main scream and their volume has driven us to deafness. Our ears dull and listening unskilled. Our mouths boastful, arrogant and insisting on our own rights, or beliefs to be looked at as the pinnacle of truth even if it means the death of another human who doesn’t agree.

No. This world isn’t for me. So, from this point forward I’m going my own way. I’m about to do everything in my life the weirdest and most unconventional way as possible.

Life is valuable. It is precious. Sacred. Holy in its own right. How could I betray it by living anything less than 1000% authentically to who I am, to what my level and intensity of love is like, to cleave to my own philosophies formed circumspectly and carefully? How could I ever be ok with exchanging even the weirdest things about me in lieu of making myself more acceptable?   Life is too short for that. It’s too brilliantly faceted for that. I am committed to being my different self no matter what that looks like or who it may trouble.   Doing death differently…addressing the deeper, intangible components of dying and watching life transform as its vehicle weakens…is when you know you’re a catalyst and have just changed your own trajectory. Forever. I will never be the same after these last 3 years and it took my dear Talia’s blindness to open my eyes to the truth that it is in fact how life should be lived so that when we settle into the arms of death we will embrace it regretless and with the sense of an old dear friend who has come to pay a visit.

I am different. Unto death.

My desire is to be the most open, accepting, loving, heart-centered person you know.   And, if I can be that then don’t thank me or give me any accolades. Thank Margo Holder, my mamaw, my nieces and nephews, my parents, my brothers, and my intimate friends. Because it is them who have shaped me and shown me how weird love is, how unconditional it can feel, and the powerful relief it offers when you’re in the worst pain of your life. We aren’t perfect. None of us are. And far be it from me to close my mind and heart to this human experience.

We are all walking miracles. Our pets included.

August 13, 2022 0

Silent Retreat Please

As I’m lying here with heavy eyes I find myself longing to escape to some prolonged silent retreat. It’s a soul’s longing. Deep. Not quite guttural but definitely gritty.

At this time I feel like I want to take a solid 90 days in silence. No TV, phone, etc. Just me and the void. I feel like unless I can get into this kind of setting I’m always going to feel void on the inside. Like I have to create a larger more spacious void outside of the smaller void that is within me. It seems a larger and exterior void would be able to absorb the void within me…and essentially rid me of it that I might be truly whole for the first time in my life.

I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for. But, it’s because I’ve been in either 1 of 2 states nearly the entirety of my life thus far. 1. Panic 2. Numbness. Fluctuating between the two. The strain to be in such constant states while fighting with everything you have on the inside to stop feeling the panic and then admonishing myself for being numb. Ugh. Like my soul was acidic.

I just feel this need to detach and reflect and just be quiet. For a very long time.

Love,

Cozett

August 11, 2022 0

King Mentality

These are truly the days of dreams and visions for me. This is yet another middle of the night post. Creativity seems to have saturated every cell of my body. When I’m awake I’m stewing on manifesting my wildest dreams. When I’m asleep I have vivid and highly metaphorical dreams.

And in the liminality of the 3 to 6 am time period I am inundated with vision.

So…what is Cozett contemplating at 4:19 am on a Tuesday morning? The power and beauty of healthy masculinity. And how we can heal our world through the vehicle of it.

The words, “king mentality” kept rolling around in my thoughts so I began to ponder on what it could mean. What the implications are of such a mentality, what it looks like, and how it can be extracted from centuries of toxic masculinity and off the rails patriarchy. Naturally, “queen mentality” is the balancer of these mindsets and I will get to that soon.

But right now I have a grand idea. There are so many books in me. This concept is one of them. I feel it’s crucial for our forward movement as a global society. So with that said please pray that I will have the energy, patience and commitment to see this project through to publishing? It’s important. I promise.

All of humanity looks to its past examples of heralded leaders to influence its future course. It had occurred to me that men who are alive in 2021 and reading this are in a unique and exceptional position at this point in the human race. There are golden opportunities for men in 2021 that’s never been available to them until now. Believe it or not if you are a masculine…I truly believe you are alive and reading this for a very special reason and purpose. You were meant to see this post. Your inner battle cry has been heard. Your dreams are important. Your positive impact can be immeasurable. You are so needed. Needed but also free. Free to reign like the king you are IF you recognize what’s being drawn out of the depths of who you are. You’re being summoned to greatness. Not like the greatness of the past. Not like the greatness of Nebuchadnezzar, or Tutankhamun, or King James, or John Wayne, etc.

No. 2020 served us all up something that will have lasting implications for many lifetimes after this blog is posted and my book is (hopefully) published.

There is not one human life on the earth that hasn’t been touched by the Covid-19 pandemic. Whether you got sick, know someone who did, mourned someone who died from it…or never got sick, never knew anyone who did and never knew of anyone who died from it and was just irritated by the inconvenience and media coverage of it. It has affected us all at some level. This should be a common ground for us all. So don’t lose sight of the value of other humans who wave to you from the other end of the spectrum.

So where am I going with all of this? This post is a kick-off of sorts for some research I’m going to undertake to interview men from every country of the world. I am blessed to have an international readership and YouTube community. I’m so grateful that nearly every single day I am having interesting, if brief, interactions with people from dozens of different countries, religions, and socio-economic contexts. I talk with people who belong to tribes, live in villages, live in remote places, and have wildly different opinions and world views from my own.

And, I LOVE the tension that is held between my own values and opinions and those of the people who have such different views. You really can enjoy the company and pressure that sometimes comes from such diversity. The secret to the thrill and enjoyment of such company is that you each share 2 core values. #1. Love of humanity. #2. An open mind that isn’t hostile to being challenged. In other words an ego that is in check. If you share just these 2 things…you can enjoy the company of any human regardless of differences. Talk about opening up new worlds right?? An incredibly rich opportunity to see the world through someone else’s eyes and hear the heartbeat of the earth with someone else’s ears. To feel perceive and sense with a skin other than your own. Is that not exciting??

On July 27th 2021 I am eager to discover who the kings of the 3rd millenium are. They do not rule like their forefathers did.

If you’re familiar with the term, “divine feminine” you probably understand that after thousands of years of masculine rule we have and are shifting into the era of the divine feminine. The pendulum has swung and the future is female. It’s not just a nifty feminist soundbite. It’s the natural progression of the course of humanity. I am stoked to be a woman pioneering in this age. And because I recognize it I want to make sure I do it right so I can be the trailblazer that this wild and wonderful Universe has called me to be.

I want to be a divine feminine who helps set the stage for a better society for women and girls. But in wisdom I perceive this can’t be done by “stripping men of their power and puking in the face of patriarchy.” (As much as I have wanted to at times, admittedly.) No. The wise woman is a healer. And healers are seers of sorts. They can perceive wounds that others can’t. They can see the wounds of people who don’t even know they carry them. That is one thing that the masculine era taught us. To disconnect from our pain. Because pain is weakness and weakness is vulnerability and vulnerability does not perpetuate the human race.

So how can I best serve women and girls and the feminine collective? I can do this by reaching out to the masculine collective and encourage them to come up higher. I mean that’s one of the largest roots of societal problems around the world right? The majority of ALL violence is committed by men. Rapes, wars, murders, oppression, religious domination, originated and have been perpetuated largely by men. All of those things are symptoms. Not that men are bad. Not that patriarchy is by nature toxic. No. Patriarchy is fatherhood. Good fathers are indeed like shepherds. Protectors. Nurturers. We’ve been given a bad example. We have been living for thousands of centuries with toxic masculinity. But it only exists because of wounds and to some degree the early drives to survive and escape dinosaurs and such.

So this is one of my plans to make the world a better place. I want to hear from YOU.

What in your mind is a king?

What in your mind defines healthy masculinity?

Who have been positive masculine examples in your life? Whether personally or perhaps some public figure.

As we dance into the feminine era and tap in to all the mysterious and esoteric wisdom, and healing it offers…I still wanna hear it…for the boy…(Song: Let’s hear it for the boy by Deniece Williams.)

#divinemasculine #divinefeminine #cozettcontemplates #divinefemininerising #patriarchy #toxicmasculinity #inspiration #blogger #writer #international #King #KingMentality #Queen #queenmentality

July 27, 2021 0

Don’t Suffer The Pain Of Inaction: One Percent More

Today you have an opportunity. Today you have the ability to do 1% more than you did yesterday to achieve your goals and live out your wildest dreams.

For me I’ve always feared the regret of inaction more than the fear of taking the wrong action.

I’ve seen first hand how analysis paralysis and indecision can negatively impact the future of a person. Analysis paralysis is cousin to fear. And, I hate that whole family 

Today I’m issuing you another call to courage. To believe in yourself and your massive intuitive abilities. You CAN trust yourself. YOU are your greatest resource. But, how can you discover the gold mine that is you if you refuse to explore and tap into who you suspect yourself to be.

Are you really that great?? Yes. Yes, you are.

You see it is the core of who you are that is a gift to the world. Unfortunately, from the day we are born until the day we die that core us covered over every day with layers of obligations that are NOT in alignment with our ultimate purpose or deepest desires.

Is it not a gift to be a good son, daughter, wife, husband, aunt, sibling, community organizer activist, etc? Of course it is! But, the secret to a fulfilled life and achieved destiny is not to be these things to the detriment of your soul’s calling.

None of the roles that you operate in should eclipse the expression of your most authentic self. They can be beautiful vehicles for that expression to be sure. But, if you ever find yourself feeling lost to motherhood, fatherhood, being a boss, being a religious leader or whatever then that is a key indicator that your role has eclipsed your soul.

Maybe you’ve been wading around in indecision for a long time. Years perhaps. Maybe you’ve been saying to yourself that if you just had a sign then that would be your permission to set yourself free of all that holds you back. With that said…here’s your sign.

I love you. And I don’t want to see you sacrifice the great adventure that is wrapped up and encoded in your DNA. I don’t want to see you suffer and come to me in counseling one day for the, “I wish I would have…”

My message to you is, “just do it already!” Dive! Take that break. Take that vacation. Open your mind to the things that intrigue you but scare you at the same time because you’re afraid of what people would think…if they knew you…thought.

This is YOUR life and you don’t owe it to anyone. Your life is your own. It’s your puzzle, your mystery, your source of delight, your source of endless curiosity, your compass, your vehicle for radically experiencing planet Earth. The planet is a beautiful and wild place. There are people just waiting for you to cross their path and set them free. To show them the lessons you’ve learned. To offer your depth of insight from the life you’ve learned.

But how will you ever experience that. That satisfaction. If you won’t allow yourself to move forward?

I’m gonna keep issuing this call until there is an entire global revolution at my feet. I can promise you that. It is part of my destiny and wildest dreams to help you achieve yours.

Love,
Cozett

July 18, 2021 0

Assessing My F3 Response: Becoming Bulletproof Journal Entry

I’ve just started, “Becoming Bulletproof” by Evy Poumpouras. I had this book in my Amazon cart for a little while. As someone who has had a life filled with battling anxiety, the title appealed to me for obvious reasons. But, it wasn’t until my most recent trip to Turkey that I felt a nudge from Spirit and a deep resonance in my soul to go ahead and purchase it. In fact it was about two days before I was to fly home back to the states that I clearly heard the Spirit say to me, “what is in your future will require you to be bulletproof.” In that moment I had forgotten that I even had the book in my cart. I was moving about my hotel room packing and began quietly mulling over what I had just heard as well examine the emotions and feelings that came up as a result. As I folded and separated my dirty clothes from my clean clothes the feelings I was able to identify clued me in on what my impending future could hold. I felt feelings of hope, excitement, being respected, admired, looked to and intelligent. Now, isn’t that an odd response from a statement to an anxiety sufferer? I thought so too. But, it’s the feelings that let me know that I have one BIG adventure ahead of me. And, I need to prepare so it goes as smoothly and as fun and interesting as possible. I’m ALL about the odd and interesting. I find myself constantly immersed in the interesting. I have stories some people would never believe or imagine.

As someone who has been in counseling for years and one who practices mindfulness and meditation I have broke with thought patterns that feed fear. I’ve trained myself to distract myself and move should I start feeling bogged down with fearful thoughts. To some degree in retrospect…in this moment actually I realize I’ve lost a big part of myself to managing triggers rather than just living in the moment. At any rate, I’m about 32 pages into this book and twice now the author has prompted me to think on my fears. First to assess what I’m afraid of and second to assess my F3 responses and determine what is my most common response. Fight, flight or freeze. Both times I’ve balked at the thought of allowing any of these thoughts into my mind. My fear was…that I would become fearful if I think about it. My training has taught me to distract and get my mind to flit across the thoughts about fear like a stone skipping across a lake. To think about my destination rather than moment. And, that has served me well seriously. Instead of getting lost in thought about a doctor’s appointment I think on what I’m going to do once I leave the doctor’s office. Because, I AM going to leave. I’m not going to stop there. I have things to do and enjoy and rewards to give myself for getting through that appointment. It keeps me moving forward and gets me unstuck. Hence, the tendency I had to freeze.

As I intentioned to go ahead and get still and allow my mind to engage my fears here is what I discovered about my F3 response. My most common is to freeze. This response “comes” to me. It is one that builds in waves as my body slows to a halt. It’s progressive. It looms like an approaching hurricane as you register that you’re in its direct path and feels like you won’t be able to get out of its way in time. But, because it comes in measures and because I’ve done so much inner work I can at least identify what I need to do to begin to steer myself to a calm harbor. In these moments movement is key for me. If I’m alone I’ll usually dance if I have a good control. Or, if I don’t have good control I’ll usually uncontrollably fidget and flail a bit. On that note did you know this is actually an evolutionary response? If you’ve ever witnessed big cats in the wild you’ll notice that just after pursuing prey, fighting or other moments of challenge they will shake themselves. This is the body ridding itself of adrenaline and getting back into a parasympathetic state. Also, did you know that our sympathetic nervous system kicks in when we need to meet a challenge and our parasympathetic nervous system kicks in to help us rest and digest. They work in tandem with each other to keep us balanced out. And they do that automatically. Thank God, right?? Our bodies our awe-inspiring and ALWAYS working FOR us. Never against us. Remember that.

Next, as the author can also relate, my next common response is to fight. This is rare but it happens if I’m surprised and don’t see the threat coming. I’ll spare you the details but I’ve often sprung into fight mode when someone is aggressive towards me, wants to intimidate me or unnecessarily comes at me in anger. Other than those scenarios I freeze.

Here’s what’s most interesting to me though. Out of all that I’ve been through. My mother’s addict boyfriends, saving her life and the life of one of my brothers and the life of a stranger who was drowning at Fall Creek Falls (I couldn’t save him by going in the water after him because it was too dangerous and I’m not a strong swimmer. Instead I screamed until someone heard me and dove in after him. Two men from India there as tourists heard my cry and immediately responded. Had I not screamed he would have been dead because it was only he and I there and everyone else was downstream of the falls.) He looked me in the eyes as he went under like I had betrayed him by not helping him. I didn’t know until that night if he actually survived. Once one of the men dove in for him I ran to my car and called 911 and never looked back because I couldn’t bear seeing his body dragged out. Thankfully, he did survive and it was my voice and the skill of a stranger that saved him. In all of these things the ONLY F3 response I’ve never demonstrated is to flee. I’ve never backed down from a crisis. If it’s a personal crisis I freeze and then force myself to move. If it’s an unanticipated attack I fight. But, I’ve never fled in all of my 42 years. And in this moment that brings into focus just how bulletproof I really am.

What about you? Do you suffer from mental health issues? Panic disorder? Generalized Anxiety? It may be worth evaluating your F3 responses. You may come away with the pure gold of more confidence in yourself if you do.

July 16, 2021 0

Panic During Sleep

The last several days have brought unanticipated answers to some of my deepest questions about my own life.

Why am I here?
Where is my place in this world? Do I even belong or have a place?

I’ve always felt like an outsider. I carry this sort of grappling, grasping, yet avoiding and obsessive energy. As an aspiring psychologist and one who has had a very traumatized life I am peculiarly and acutely self-aware.

Since I was 29 years old I began having panic episodes during my sleep. I would wake up with a dangerously high heart rate. After much testing (because I had health insurance at the time) the conclusion was sleep apnea. Which I agree with. BUT.

My body has been sending me messages for a long time that I haven’t been able to interpret properly until now. And this seemingly sudden ability to switch from being confused and frustrated to some “aha” moments I have discovered some things that have changed my life.

Initially, I suspected that I was having actual panic attacks in my sleep. And now I’ve discovered that is true!

When we sleep our body decompresses, our liver kicks into high gear and detoxes us, and we begin to recover from oxidative stress. When we sleep our bodies are extremely efficient about getting us recovered from pressure.

So, what was my problem? I am an extremely sensitive person. If you feel something…I can feel you….feeling and experiencing it. And my psyche interprets that as my own feelings. This in addition to my own energetic experiences. Needless to say I get overwhelmed easily. I am the classic, stereotypical introvert, INFJ, Piscean personality. And because of my childhood I have an avoidant attachment style. I can never get too close to someone without eventually shutting down to drown out all of their energetic experiences. I’m like a sponge. And, it hasn’t felt good to be in my body for most of my life.

In my deepest sleep I was decompressing super fast and as a result my body offloading the stress so quickly kinda put me in a tailspin.

And that’s where I’m at today! The last 2 years as many of you now know were nothing short of horrific and traumatizing for me. And, finally after having been so tense and upset for such a long period of time I’m finding myself struggling with panic disorder again because I’ve gotten a bit of a respite. I’ve been decompressing. Fast. So many GOOD THINGS coming toward me right now…and I feel like absolute crap. I have qualms about being able to receive all of it. BUT, because these things I’m receiving are literally life-long dreams of mine I’m pushing myself to be positioned mentally, physically and emotionally to enjoy! And honestly it feels traumatic and scary. There is a disconnect that I’m wrestling with. How is it possible that my body reacts so negatively to answered prayers and having my heart’s desires?

I’m trying so hard to learn to listen to my body. As I awoke the last 2 days I have done so with a lot of full body pain, stiffness, and adrenaline. My first thought this morning was, “wow. What a way to start my day.”

But, then it occurred to me….yes, this is the best way to start my day. I’m starting my day by being presented with an opportunity to listen to the MOST ancient and subtle wisdom that exists. And that is the innate wisdom of the human body. It goes far beyond the surface of “uh I’m getting older and not feeling good.” Our bodies are ABLE TO COMMUNICATE so much more than just, “ouch, or yuck I don’t feel good.” It can actually tell us why and what the best course of action is to get back into homeostasis.

So, now instead of being disappointed in my body and scolding it for not feeling reliable I have transmuted that negative reaction. I stand in awe and gratitude that my body has the ability to inform me and educate me on what it needs. This is all vibrational you see. It’s all a matter of energetics. Frequencies.

Did you know our nervous system generates enough electricity to power the city of Chattanooga for 30 days??! What do you think happens when that electricity isn’t grounded?? What do you think your potential could be if you could focus and direct all that power in ways that sustain and nourish you? (Here is where I cannot recommend highly enough vitalistic chiropractors.)

We are all “live wires.” Spirit, breath, flesh, bone, blood, miles upon miles of veins, capillaries and…yes, electricity. 🤷🏼‍♀️

So my question to you today is, “how are you feeling?” “Are you aware of your own vibrations and currents and frequencies?” Do you ever feel like your body is working against your mind and is unreliable? If so…don’t punish it by thinking toxic thoughts about it and shaming it or being disappointed in it. It just wants you to listen!! Lean in and listen to the sound of your own heartbeat. Talk to your organs, joints, muscles and tell them how proud you are of them and see if you don’t feel those areas of your body warm as though smiling.

If your body and mind feel scattered check in and ask it questions that you feel led to ask it. Those answers will come when you open to the fact that every cell within you has a frequency. A vibration. And that frequency and vibration is the foundation of ALL forms of communication. So learn to listen like an old friend and a compassionate counselor to your body. Hold space for it to give you the answers you need about what’s troubling you.

Since this discovery is so new for me I have a lot of work to do to create cohesion between my body and mind. I’ve had a war on my hands for years. But, finally I feel like I now have at least a portion of the owner’s manual to this skin suit. Some directions. Knowledge is power am I right??

So what do I do now that I have the answers I’ve been searching for AND the impending blessings I’ve longed for all my life…at the same time??

I become the master alchemist. I know beyond a doubt that with the information my body has given me over the last few days I can take that and through meditation and the power of my own breath I can transmute the harsh, rattled energy of a traumatized mind into the very catalyst I needed to position me to receive ALL that God has for me.

Pray for me in the days ahead?

Here’s to healing,
Cozett…

#healingtrauma #myjourney #cozettcontemplates #MindBodyConnection #mindbodycohesion

June 24, 2021 0