Tag: oneworld

No Water For The Wolves

Lying in the silence. All is black around me save my phone and wifi light. And all I can think about is how my mother’s death is stirring in me an even greater fire and resolve to be living light. I want my light to shine into the cosmos and to be a home to every human without exception.

I want to be….wide, long, deep, tall, ever expanding light, warmth, and peace and safety.

I want my table to extend into the nations.

Where there is light people feel seen, where there is light there is clarity, there is life, there is strength, and hope.

In a world filled with humans who despise what they don’t get, fear what they can’t understand, and murder either with their thoughts or hands those who are divergent…..I want to be different.

Love is beautiful anarchy

Light is the epitome of rebellion against darkened understanding

Brilliant bright light so the world can see
Recklessly loving us all into anarchy

While the planet is threshed wheat from tare
I’ll gather and glean to me those in despair

It is enough for those standing accepted in the sun
To carry the status of a chosen one

I’ll cast my lot with the vagabond parade
I vomit at the charity of pretentious charade

Babylon, Babylon, can’t you see she’s imploding?
Or are your ears deafened from your own gloating?

Superiority, elitism, white washed graves
Their throats lie open like wilderness caves

But they won’t catch me or mine
Unbeknownst to them we are made of brine

And, I refuse to give them water…

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Authentic…Unto Death

Sitting here in the dark, dimly lit bedroom I’ll soon never sleep in again. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes sitting with my chunky headphones on listening to, “Return to Innocence” by Enigma on repeat and watching Talia sleep.  I’m still processing the last 24 hours when she became suddenly blind.  If the past 3 years have taught me anything it is to slow down and spend prolonged time taking in the people, animals, and good memories made.

I stink, I’m sweaty and not even gonna shower before I fall asleep.  But, my Talia…she’s blind.  And, now I finally realize and regret my own blindness.  I’ve allowed everything and everyone to get in the way of me living my life in a more rooted way.  A more earthy way.  That’s all we really have you know?

A few years ago I read a web article about pet euthanasia.  The majority of pets who experience euthanasia do so in the company of the techs and vet and staff because it’s so hurtful to see your fur baby/child to transition in front of you.  And, that was absolutely my mindset.  But, a few techs and vets weighed in and offered an alternative perspective on pet euthanasia.   They all stated that while they completely understand why pet owners don’t want to be there to witness the event and that they will always respect people’s grief process,  they long to see more pet owners be present.  Pets have a very small circle of family and friends.  In the short span of their lives they will live in a home with family and friends who come and go.  So they may only know maybe 10 people give or take for their entire lives.  They never get a break from us, haha.  But, the thing is they never feel smothered and if it was possible they would stay within our shadow and by our sides every single second for a millenia.  Their love and devotion is bottomless, untiring, ever cheerful, ever patient, ever thrilled to hear our voice, see our face, smell our scent.  Whether it’s the first time they sniff you or the millionth time their enthusiasm never diminishes or fades, it only brings their hearts that much closer to ours.   They only ever love us more every day they’re alive.

When I read this a light went off.  Talia loves me with everything in her.  You can literally feel her love energy.  And while I am her #1 favorite human she’s like this about any human she’s ever met.  Instantly warm, curious, and gentle hoping for some affection and a new friendship.  She has never been scared of anything.  Loud sounds, thunder storms, shrieks of little ones playing or crying.

In fact when it thunderstorms sometimes she and I go out on the porch and I sit her in my lap and we watch the lightning and feel the rain spray in gently and coolly upon our bodies and faces.  When it lightnings I can see the spray on her fur and it looks like dew.

She intently looked up at the sky and followed the lightning streaks with her eyes.  Sniffing the wind occasionally for some wild scents.  Never flinching, squirming, or tense.  Relaxed, intrigued, longing to see what it would feel like up in the sky above her.  She is such a brave old girl.  Car rides?  She loves them.  Going for a walk on a leash?  Yes, please.

My constant companion whom has shown me much greater and deeper love than the majority of humans who have been in my life. 

Because of this I resolved that when the day comes if I am able to have any forewarning of her passing I will hold her in my arms and sing her her favorite lullabys.  I’ve reworded I don’t know how many songs to include her name and take her beautiful gentle life into adventure stories, sleepy time songs, and of course my doting love songs over my precious cat.  I will stay by her side just like she has mine.  My arms, hands, scent and voice, touch, body warmth and love….as much love as any human could ever possibly hold…my love for her will be the last experience she has here.  She never left my side and I’ll never leave hers either.  Ever.  I’ll be holding her and kissing her little knobby head and singing to her until she’s in the arms of the angels. 

Her gentleness is like her own cottony fur.  So tender and soft you can hardly even feel it touching your skin.  She’s so tiny.  At the time of this writing she weighs about 6 lbs.  She’s a bit underweight even though she’s small.   I’m not entirely sure what breeds she’s made from but she has a tortoise siamese colored coat and deep, dark blue eyes (that now look a bit purple in her blindness).  And she’s very short, low to the ground, haha.  And her little tail is short.  She’s built like a munchkin but has the coat and eyes of a Siamese.

Her little multi-colored paws look like they are ringed in caramel.  And she loves belly rubs.  And 99% of the time doesn’t attack my hand.  That 1% though….she’s got a streak.  I guess if she didn’t she wouldn’t have been able to put up with mine and Margo Holder s crap all these years, hahaha.  Margo often says that Talia is her spirit animal and believe me when I say, she is not wrong.

At any rate, beyond all of this the last 24 hours of her going suddenly completely blind has opened my eyes to something I’ve decided I want to do that will likely seem odd to more people than not.  But, that’s how I roll anyway.

I have deep regrets about not spending as much time with my family and friends as I’d like to.  I’ve allowed life to get in the way.  And if I allow life to be a stumbling block…what will that mean at death?

For many years now I’ve casually researched death doulas.  Most people don’t even know what a doula is much less a death doula.  Now, I’m not saying I want to be or am going to be a death doula by profession.  But, there are some facets of their work that I am going to implement where it’s appropriate and of course permissible.

I have decided that I want my heart to break wide open and hold my family and friends in my arms as they transition so that it is my hands, my arms, my energy, my truest and deepest love for them to be what they are enveloped in as they transition.

I’ve always been a lover.  A hugger…to the point of extreme and strange awkwardness. 

But,  how can I apologize for that?  And, for what reason should I reign it in?  Covid-19 wiped millions of people off this planet in the blink of an eye comparatively speaking.  And, not just Covid, but wars, disasters, political rhetoric that has risen to the point that brother is against brother.  I long for the day to see field upon field joined to pastures and woodlands filled with a great many more plowshares.  As it is, sheaths clamor and tremble longing for the bloodied blades to return again for fear of being found guilty before God as being accomplices.

Blood is crying out from the ground but we can’t hear it because the main stream has become the main scream and their volume has driven us to deafness.  Our ears dull and listening unskilled.  Our mouths boastful, arrogant and insisting on our own rights, or beliefs to be looked at as the pinnacle of truth even if it means the death of another human who doesn’t agree.

No.  This world isn’t for me.  So, from this point forward I’m going my own way.  I’m about to do everything in my life the weirdest and most unconventional way as possible. 

Life is valuable.  It is precious.  Sacred. Holy in its own right.  How could I betray it by living anything less than 1000% authentically to who I am, to what my level and intensity of love is like, to cleave to my own philosophies formed circumspectly and carefully?  How could I ever be ok with exchanging even the weirdest things about me in lieu of making myself more acceptable?   Life is too short for that.  It’s too brilliantly faceted for that.  I am committed to being my different self no matter what that looks like or who it may trouble.   Doing death differently…addressing the deeper, intangible components of dying and watching life transform as its vehicle weakens…is when you know you’re a catalyst and have just changed your own trajectory.  Forever.  I will never be the same after these last 3 years and it took my dear Talia’s blindness to open my eyes to the truth that it is in fact how life should be lived so that when we settle into the arms of death we will embrace it regretless and with the sense of an old dear friend who has come to pay a visit. 

I am different.  Unto death.

My desire is to be the most open, accepting, loving, heart-centered person you know.   And, if I can be that then don’t thank me or give me any accolades.  Thank Margo Holder, my mamaw, my nieces and nephews, my parents, my brothers, and my intimate friends.  Because it is them who have shaped me and shown me how weird love is, how unconditional it can feel, and the powerful relief it offers when you’re in the worst pain of your life.  We aren’t perfect.  None of us are.  And far be it from me to close my mind and heart to this human experience.

We are all walking miracles. Our pets included.

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King Mentality

These are truly the days of dreams and visions for me.  This is yet another middle of the night post.  Creativity seems to have saturated every cell of my body.  When I’m awake I’m stewing on manifesting my wildest dreams.  When I’m asleep I have vivid and highly metaphorical dreams.

And in the liminality of the 3 to 6 am time period I am inundated with vision.

So…what is Cozett contemplating at 4:19 am on a Tuesday morning?  The power and beauty of healthy masculinity. And how we can heal our world through the vehicle of it.

The words, “king mentality” kept rolling around in my thoughts so I began to ponder on what it could mean.  What the implications are of such a mentality, what it looks like, and how it can be extracted from centuries of toxic masculinity and off the rails patriarchy.  Naturally, “queen mentality” is the balancer of these mindsets and I will get to that soon.

But right now I have a grand idea.  There are so many books in me.   This concept is one of them.  I feel it’s crucial for our forward movement as a global society.  So with that said please pray that I will have the energy, patience and commitment to see this project through to publishing?  It’s important.  I promise.

All of humanity looks to its past examples of heralded leaders to influence its future course.  It had occurred to me that men who are alive in 2021 and reading this are in a unique and exceptional position at this point in the human race.  There are golden opportunities for men in 2021 that’s never been available to them until now.  Believe it or not if you are a masculine…I truly believe you are alive and reading this for a very special reason and purpose.  You were meant to see this post.  Your inner battle cry has been heard.  Your dreams are important.  Your positive impact can be immeasurable.  You are so needed. Needed but also free.  Free to reign like the king you are IF you recognize what’s being drawn out of the depths of who you are.  You’re being summoned to greatness.  Not like the greatness of the past.  Not like the greatness of Nebuchadnezzar, or Tutankhamun,  or King James, or John Wayne, etc.

No. 2020 served us all up something that will have lasting implications for many lifetimes after this blog is posted and my book is (hopefully) published.

There is not one human life on the earth that hasn’t been touched by the Covid-19 pandemic.  Whether you got sick, know someone who did, mourned someone who died from it…or never got sick, never knew anyone who did and never knew of anyone who died from it and was just irritated by the inconvenience and media coverage of it.  It has affected us all at some level. This should be a common ground for us all.  So don’t lose sight of the value of other humans who wave to you from the other end of the spectrum.

So where am I going with all of this?  This post is a kick-off of sorts for some research I’m going to undertake to interview men from every country of the world.  I am blessed to have an international readership and YouTube community.  I’m so grateful that nearly every single day I am having interesting, if brief, interactions with people from dozens of different countries, religions, and socio-economic contexts.  I talk with people who belong to tribes, live in villages, live in remote places, and have wildly different opinions and world views from my own.

And, I LOVE the tension that is held between my own values and opinions and those of the people who have such different views.  You really can enjoy the company and pressure that sometimes comes from such diversity.  The secret to the thrill and enjoyment of such company is that you each share 2 core values.  #1. Love of humanity.  #2. An open mind that isn’t hostile to being challenged.  In other words an ego that is in check.   If you share just these 2 things…you can enjoy the company of any human regardless of differences.  Talk about opening up new worlds right??  An incredibly rich opportunity to see the world through someone else’s eyes and hear the heartbeat of the earth with someone else’s ears.  To feel perceive and sense with a skin other than your own.  Is that not exciting??

On July 27th 2021 I am eager to discover who the kings of the 3rd millenium are.  They do not rule like their forefathers did.

If you’re familiar with the term, “divine feminine” you probably understand that after thousands of years of masculine rule we have and are shifting into the era of the divine feminine.  The pendulum has swung and the future is female.  It’s not just a nifty feminist soundbite.  It’s the natural progression of the course of humanity. I am stoked to be a woman pioneering in this age.  And because I recognize it I want to make sure I do it right so I can be the trailblazer that this wild and wonderful Universe has called me to be.

I want to be a divine feminine who helps set the stage for a better society for women and girls.  But in wisdom I perceive this can’t be done by “stripping men of their power and puking in the face of patriarchy.”  (As much as I have wanted to at times, admittedly.)  No.  The wise woman is a healer.  And healers are seers of sorts.  They can perceive wounds that others can’t.   They can see the wounds of people who don’t even know they carry them.  That is one thing that the masculine era taught us.  To disconnect from our pain.  Because pain is weakness and weakness is vulnerability and vulnerability does not perpetuate the human race. 

So how can I best serve women and girls and the feminine collective? I can do this by reaching out to the masculine collective and encourage them to come up higher.  I mean that’s one of the largest roots of societal problems around the world right?  The majority of ALL violence is committed by men.  Rapes, wars, murders, oppression, religious domination, originated and have been perpetuated largely by men.  All of those things are symptoms.   Not that men are bad.  Not that patriarchy is by nature toxic.  No.  Patriarchy is fatherhood.  Good fathers are indeed like shepherds.  Protectors.  Nurturers.  We’ve been given a bad example.  We have been living for thousands of centuries with toxic masculinity.  But it only exists because of wounds and to some degree the early drives to survive and escape dinosaurs and such.

So this is one of my plans to make the world a better place.  I want to hear from YOU. 

What in your mind is a king? 

What in your mind defines healthy masculinity?

Who have been positive masculine examples in your life?  Whether personally or perhaps some public figure.

As we dance into the feminine era and tap in to all the mysterious and esoteric wisdom, and healing it offers…I still wanna hear it…for the boy…(Song: Let’s hear it for the boy by Deniece Williams.)

#divinemasculine #divinefeminine #cozettcontemplates #divinefemininerising #patriarchy #toxicmasculinity #inspiration #blogger #writer #international #King #KingMentality #Queen #queenmentality

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Turkiye

It’s 3:51 am…and I just wanna be in Turkey.  I’m curled up under my weighted blanket and have my lamp on dim.  My eyes are fixed on the large world map I just put on my wall and my newly updated vision board.

My vision board is too personal to show.  But, if you could see it you would see pics of the Turkish flag  and the bright blue water of the Mediterranean. 

In my mind’s eye I see me walking down the shore just before sunset.  Feeling the fine gravel and tiny rocks of the earthy beach.  I’m looking out over the ocean dreaming big about what’s on its way to me.

The work I want to do there.  It would be enough for me to sit alone on the beach or in some restaurant.  Just to feel the vibration of the culture.   The people.   Even if I don’t “know” them…I somehow know them.  The thrill of simple and honest observation of the buzz of life there is a source of endless curiosity for me.

The pitch and tone of their language is so beautiful.   It has a cadence that rings of innocence and purity.  The way they carry themselves, their mannerisms, gestures, facial expressions reveal a peculiar inner radiance.
The way they interact with their children is awe-inspiring.  There is a depth of uninhibited warmth and reverence for children there.  Even when there are public announcements being made it was never a generic, “ladies and gentlemen we will be landing soon…or ladies and genetleman please enjoy the entertainment….”  It was always, “Ladies and gentleman and DEAR children….”

Children are always included in their announcements.  As someone who suffered a traumatic childhood I LOVE that they feel it important to directly address little ones to keep them informed and make them feel safe and included. 

Right now I long to be in some city center there.  Perhaps sitting on a park bench across from a mosque .  Taking in the opulent and unique and ancient architecture.  Observing their going in and coming out and tapping into their energy to see if I can feel if they had some profound spiritual experience.

As an American who has lived my entire life in the Bible belt but also acutely aware that my faith has its roots in Turkey…I have to say the Muslim call to prayer fills me with a deep sense of stillness that makes me feel immediately and instantly grounded and centered.  It never fails that I am covered in chills and struggle to keep tears in check when I hear it.  The sound overwhelms me and makes me feel so small.  So…held by the large unseen force I know as God.  I feel enveloped and absorbed into something bigger than myself.  Something mysterious.  Something grander than my own my aspirations. 

I can feel the robust and rolling vibrato on my skin.  I feel it within as well.  At my core.   The resonance seems to shift things inside me. 

I don’t know what the future holds for me there.  I just know that when my feet touched the earth there I felt like I was at home and was going to be there many more times.  I felt a sense of purpose.  Dignity.  Ambition.  Hope. Inspiration.  I felt these things more deeply than I ever have.  I felt truly alive.

The ripple effect is proving to be a lasting one.  My toes are still painted with the Turkish flag as my pedicure is still good.  Soon it will fade.  But for now everytime I’ve looked at my feet since I’ve been home I get this metaphorical lesson that my feet….belong on Turkish ground. 

I won’t be happy until I can feel the earth and sand that is Turkish land sifting between my toes and leaving grit around my nail beds. It’s not enough for me to be some happy tourist.  I have a work to be done there.  I don’t know what it is. I just know it calls to me day and night.  I see it in my dreams and wake up thinking I’m still there only to look out my window and see that I’m still in my little healing haven on a Red Bank cul-de-sac. I love Red Bank.  I love Tennessee.  I love the beauty of the south here.  It’s my springboard and contrast that has led me to pursue and embrace some of my wildest dreams.

From Tennessee to Turkey…who’d have thought?  I think my soul always knew though.  And not just Turkey but the continents it graces.  It is not just a bridge between two continents for me.  But, a bridge between worlds.  A bridge between realms.  A passage between 3D and 5D.  A unique trail marked just for me. Harrowing and heartening all at the same time.  Beautiful and bittersweet as it’s a line of demarcation marking the moment of one of the greatest transformations of my life.  A chaotic catalyst that will never allow me to go back to the way things were.  I can never be the same woman I was before I left.  Coming back onto US soil I stepped out into the humidity of a southern night on the 4th of July and realized I was having my own personal independence day of sorts. I’d broken free from the tyranny of trauma.  I’d emancipated myself.  I stepped into the woman I always hoped I’d become.  One who had traveled alone and against the odds.  There was literally NOTHING in my reality that could have indicated I could successfully pull that trip off.  There was plenty of uncertainty and unknowns and fear based illusions that could have held me back.

But I chose to jump into the chasm.  I assaulted the abyss of aberration.   I dove into the hands of the cosmos and tasked the universe to catch me before I hit bottom or came to a tragic end.  And it did just that.

It’s like I experienced zero gravity after my jump.  I never went down.  Only up.  It was disorienting because suddenly reality wasn’t playing by the rules.   Things were turning out far better than I could have dreamed.  Where I should have fallen I rose.  Where I should have stumbled I lifted off the ground and flew.  Where I should have ran…I paused and allowed myself to have all the overwhelming sensory experiences that would have ordinarily put me in bed for a week to recover from.

It was like time stood still.  Like I had cracked the code to the matrix.   I began bending my reality and smithing it.  In my hand a hammer and at my feet an anvil.  In between was my destiny with lots of heat and fire.  The force of my blows shaping it intentionally.  Shaping me and my own humanity.  My spirit.   My essence.  With skillful tongs I kept repositioning until all sides had received the proper amount of blows.  And then what emerged from the fire and all the beating took me aback.  What I witnessed forever changed the way I perceive myself.

Turkey, I promise I’ll be back.  I promise I will dedicate some of the best of my life’s energy to exploring you.  It feels as though we’re both excited about that.

Cheers to the glory that is you.

Love,
Cozett

#turkiye #turkey #antalya #istanbul #cozettcontemplates #lifecoach #inspiration #blogger #redbanktn #tennessee #borderless #travelblogger #traveltheworld

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Vulnerability

You likely don’t have all the answers. But, never underestimate the power of holding space and just listening. Humans are inherently resilient, powerful and intuitive all on their own. When someone you love is struggling…just holding space and being intentional about making that space sacred and open for whatever comes up and out is often just enough to clear the blocks that have fallen onto their path.

You. You are inherently powerful. You are inherently intuitive. You are inherently resilient. And, together….there is nothing we can’t do.

You are meant for forward motion BUT not at the expense of stillness. I firmly believe one of the greatest lessons we have learned and are learning from the impact of a global pandemic is the value of stillness. The whole world literally had to stop so that we could all get on board at the same time to be faced with what can be found in the stillness.

For some of us that has meant confronting our shadow side. There is this unintentional discovery of the fact that for so long we have just been powering through our pain and toxic patterns. Stumbling and groping through a darkness that we can’t understand why it exists…what its purpose is….what lessons are we not getting from it and where did it come from is something we are collectively facing.

You are not in this alone. I’m going through it. My friends are going through it. Your family is going through it. Our neighbors and colleagues are going through it.

So what’s the good news in all of this? The good news is that this time of being forced to face the darkness….in the quiet of our minds is serving as a catalyst to get us all to a place that is much more….human friendly.

The old way of doing things….powering past the pain and sucking it up….is passing away…so that we are made new.

I believe we are all being made new in the light of an era that’s message is “it’s ok and healthy and encouraged to vocalize your pain and let others in on your acknowledgement of that pain and your desire to heal from it.”

In a world where capitalism and toxic masculinity has been the order of the day for thousands of years we are now facing a golden opportunity to learn the benefits of community, authenticity, vulnerability and tenderness.

I am ready for it! Are you?? Ready to heal. Ready to be vulnerable. Ready and willing to connect and lay down our armor and just….love!

It may look awkward. It may feel awkward. We’ve not been able to be like this for many lifetimes. So naturally as we become more intentional about connecting authentically and deeply there are going to be stumbling points and times where it feels unnatural or forced.

But my friends I am telling you…it is so worth it!

I encourage you today to dive into the awkwardness! Plant yourself right in the middle of awkwardness. I guarantee you there are people all around you just waiting to see you do this….so that they can too!

This, in my opinion is one of the highest forms of leadership. It is leading in a way that naturally inspires and organically creates space and connection that affect growth in the people that cross our path.

I wanna tell you that I love you. I love you so much. And I want you to love me too! Is that ok to say?? Yes. Yes it is.

And now here is a poem inspired by an amazing healing collaboration I just had with someone. Also, inspired by the storms rolling through.

I’m in pain. Can you see me?
Is it even ok to say I’m in pain?
Is it ok for me to ask you to be my guide?

Walking in the rain and feeling through the mist
The storm settling in as my woes I list

I didn’t know what would happen when I came to you.
I couldn’t have known you held my breakthrough.

It is amazing what happens when we pull together.
It’s as though we could make it through any kind of weather.

A new day has dawned and the skies are clearing.
Making the darkness conscious is abating all I was fearing.

I am a human…being.
No longer a human…fleeing.

Trapped in fight or flight
Not many could understand my plight.

Your humanity…has restored my sanity. And for that I am forever grateful 🙏🏻

Love,
Cozett

bettertogether

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Joyful Abandon and the Face of Wisdom: The Tao Te Ching and Children Playing

I’m currently lying in the grass reading the Tao Te Ching and occasionally glancing at children play and it is giving me life. The subtle wisdom of the Tao Te Ching coupled with kids playing in the backdrop…the implications of this scenario isn’t lost on me. It’s so interesting watching them sled the hill.  Some are natural daredevils and have no fear. They run and jump onto their cardboard get up speed then fall off and tumble the rest of the way down the hill. With all the bumps, mud, grass and scraped elbows they laugh with total abandon.

Others are afraid of gaining too much speed.  They freeze up and the sled stops. Or, they won’t kick quite hard enough to build momentum.  They look all around them estimating how close other kids are to make sure they don’t get collide.  Often they will sit still on the sled for several minutes afraid to launch.

Some wanna be daredevils but are overthinking their short sled ride. They try out dozens of different angles and sections of the hill.  They experiment with which end of their cardboard will glide best.  They can’t seem to find just the perfect combination of slope, angle, and projected landing point.  One will literally stop his ride to pick up the cardboards around him that other kids left behind.   He didn’t focus on his sled ride but allowed it to be interrupted by what others left lying behind.

Can I just chime in here and show my solidarity with the overthinkers?  I see you.  The ride ahead looks amazing.  But, it’s those “what ifs” that hold us back.  In reality the ride is very short and in the long term it doesn’t really matter how you tackle the ride just that you DO tackle the ride!  See where I’m going with this?

If I had a dollar for everytime I waged war with my what ifs, I would be a wealthy woman.  I come from a family of engineers and it’s in my blood to engineer out every possible negative scenario before embarking on any adventure.

But, I can honestly say that because I know this about myself I always push ahead. I would rather do it and fail than deal with the longing unfulfilled due to fear.

So, while I am the overthinker of my peer group I still find myself with some jewels of stories that others could never imagine. I have adventure stories that I will take to my grave 😏. Where the unimaginable is…is where I long to be…and have been.

In short I wanna look back at my life as the kid who deep down was filled with fear but did it anyway.

Now. I gotta tell you the funny reactions from the adults/guardians of these kids. Tell me if you can find yourself in any of them??

Dad 1: (Flabbergasted)  “you’re so dirty when we get home I’m just gonna beat you with a broom.”

Mom 1: (The tough parent) “oh c’mon now you said, “ouch” before you even hit the ground.

Mom 2:  (I give up mode) “when we get home just stand in the driveway and we will hose you off”

Which kid are you? Which guardian are you?

In whichever ones you find yourself I hope that you find your awe in the sense of adventure and the loving willingness that says, “yeah you got really dirty. But I’d clean you up a thousand times if it means you get to experience joyful abandon.”

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We Are All A Walking Eclipse

You…yes you.  And I.  As long as we are in this body we will be both darkness and light.  The intensity of the darkness and light will fluctuate in intensity as we journey.  That is because none of us are static.  We are not fixed beings.

I don’t care how much work Jesus does in you.  I don’t care how much inner work you do.  How much space you hold.  How many vices you conquer.   You will NOT take your last breath in a state of 100% virtue.

Since that’s the case…why are we so freaking uncomfortable when we see both darkness and light in another person?

I am convinced if we are ever going to attain the pinnacle of what is possible for existence in a flesh suit…then we have to embrace non-dualism and surrender any inclinations we may have in whipping morality or high ideals into the people around us.

Morality, love, virtue…these are things that laws cannot create.

Why do I want to be a good person?  It’s not because of my fear of being locked up or penalized if I don’t meet someone else’s expectations and measure up to their ideals.

It’s because I am inspired by the behavior of other good people.  Not because there is a cop, a preacher, a sheikh, a Buddha or some other moral “authority” looming large over me.

When I see good and it’s impact…it’s the example not the threat that provokes me to aspire to do and be better.

I promise you this. Your light makes people jealous.  Your darkness makes people want to capitalize on your weakness so that they appear more blameless.

Either way you go….you are going to make someone uncomfortable.   You are going to make someone mad.  You are going to encounter jealousy.

And, when you are comfortable letting other people see….really really see your nature that is both dark and light it will either push them out of your life because they haven’t grown to a point they are able to accommodate the grandness and the mystery that is you OR it will draw them into a place where they can FINALLY love and accept themselves and get unstuck in life.

The greatest gift we can give someone else is love.  And, love is so much more expansive than we give it credit for. 

I heard a quote recently from Hamlet.  “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

None of us have a monopoly on the understanding of the profundity and full implication of love.

Love is an ever unfolding multiverse in and of itself.  The bounds of it can’t be found.  So why do we want to bind people to what we should acknowledge is a limited and flawed philosophy of love?

I am pro human.  I love and embrace your humanity. It is no threat to me.  I celebrate the nuanced picture I am able to see of you.   We all have non-congruent qualities.  For many people….recognizing non-congruent qualities in another person often is taken as a red flag.  But, the majority of the time there is no reason for that.  It is a survival instinct.  It is a base instinct.

All my life I have felt like someone on the outside of life looking in at everyone else.  I have tons of non-congruent qualities.  Sometimes that bothers me (particularly if I’ve spent any time around people who are naturally critical and easily offended.)  Other times these qualities are a comfort for me, things that amuse me about myself that puts a sparkle in my eyes because I find myself so funny for holding so much darkness and light at the same time.

I am so tired of living life on the auto pilot that is political correctness.  I am over living my life in fawn mode with a false sense of guilt over religious expectations.  I will never be completely virtuous.  And, you won’t either. 

I will continue to live my life inspired and called by goodness rather than in mindless reaction to fear of chastisement.   There is no fear in love right? 

My greatest desire in life is to empower and encourage people to be who they are authentically without fear of some sort of being exiled for being who they are.  Got darkness?  Great!! Me too!!  Got light??  Awesome!! Shine with me??  Let’s prove to the world that we are inherently both and that IS inherently ok.

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“Hate to be so emotional
I didn’t mean to get physical
But when he pulled in and revved it up
I said you call that a pickup truck
And in the moonlight I throwed him down
A kicking, screaming, a rolling around
A little piece of a bloody tooth
Just so you know I was thinking of you
Just so you know I was oh….” Kings of Leon- Pickup Truck.

My new way of processing the hardships of life is stealing away in these hard to find moments to just sit in the pouring rain. Life has been so much I feel myself losing all ability to be apologetic. I am just so done with the prevailing criticism and unforgiving and merciless culture that our country has found itself in.

In my life love, mercy, compassion, accommodation, and hospitality rule. I have zero desire to analyze my fellow humans for the sake of pointing out perceived character flaws. I have zero desire to sensitize myself to potential offense.

Humanity is swampy. We are like one giant mosh pit of beliefs, traditions, cultures, philosophies, etc. It is inevitable we are going to crash into each other in this grand concert of life. It is inevitable someone is gonna sweat on us. Someone is gonna trip us, fall into us, push us. And if you can’t handle that and you’re so touchy then maybe the human experience isn’t for you.

And just like in the thrill of crowdsurfing at a concert someone is…..going to drop you. And if that is too much for you to handle then don’t bother going for the adventure to begin with.

I remember a concert back in my late teens. It was a grunge band. In this massive arena I was able to secure a spot on the floor and center stage of one of my favorite bands. There were people smoking, and screaming and moshing and just fully living the experience. I decided to jump into a mosh pit and found myself lifted up and crowdsurfing. It all happened so fast (life happens so fast.) It was such a rush!! I don’t even know how long I was above the crowd. It was so much fun and so wild and seemingly outta control. And I loved it. The people who were bearing me up in their hands were cheering and sweating and I felt so alive. But, it hurt. Their hands dug into my spine, bruised my back and my legs, cut my arm and I lost one of my shoes and then as quickly as I had been hoisted into the air as my favorite band roared about their own existential crisis (typical of grunge bands. If you know you know.) I was dropped.

I fell all my weight onto one of my knees and then some dude got pushed and he fell over me and stepped on my fingers.

And you know what??? I wouldn’t effin change that experience. Ever.

Are you kidding me?? A teenager. Front row, center stage. No. I am not going to complain. I am going to live.

There is a price to pay if you want to fully live.

There is a price to pay if you dare live out who you really are on the inside.

In life…you have front row, center stage with all the glory and frailty of humanity swirling around you.

Are you going to hone in on every person who accidentally crashes into your ego?? Because if you find yourself offended at someone else’s shortcomings and they’re not “measuring up” to your “reasonable” standards then that’s where you are. You’re in your ego. You’re in yourself. You’re foolishly squandering your front row, center stage.

And when you look back you’re not gonna remember the concert. No. You’re gonna remember, “well this person didn’t do this or that person didn’t do that or this person just isn’t a person of character. “

And all the while you’ve lost the big picture.

You surmise that the totality of a person’s nature can only be seen and measured by the moments they dropped you. By the moments they crashed into you.

Forsaking the understanding that we are all human and we are all doing the best we can with the time we have.

STOP living in perpetual offense! You have front row, center stage. The grunge band is roaring. You will never have this moment again. Can you hear my pleading??

Does anyone hear what I’m trying to say?? Am I alone in this??

In the rain at Renaissance Park in Chattanooga, TN
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