Tag: Spirituality

The Intrigue Of Our Ignorance

Self-aware
Unconscious upheavals

I repose in my hermit’s lair
Wondering at the evils

I have only questions and sincere curiosity
Pearls before swine is fake luminosity

Biologically pathological
Hypnotically illogical

The passers-by on the street both intrigue me and concern me.

Ontologically astrological
Neurologically cosmological

What do our psyches share?
Your sinister glare driven by need
My awkward stare trying to get a read

Do I even belong here?  I think not.
If that were so I’d cast my lot

But as it is and as it’s always been
I live on the outside looking in

As it was and as it is now
I live from the inside out as evidenced by my furrowed brow

I don’t understand.  I really don’t.  But, let me heap some cognitive dissonance upon these sentiments.  There there.  All better now.

Who does? You may ask.  As we pass around the delusion flask.

None of its real is it?  “Of course it is!” You laugh.  As our teacher talks backwards drawing a nursery rhyme graph.

I sit and quietly think, “what is one to make of all this??”  It’s like living in the film, “Rabbits, or The Matrix, or the old school “Clash of the Titans.”

We really are going there?  Our continuum has found its chiasm.  And we are plunging into irony.  Each side thinking of the other, “the joke is on you.”

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The Perfection of Irony: My Parabolic Catalyst


Cozett Contemplates the perfection of irony…via her own poetry.


I am grateful for the storm
assaulting my form
it broke me free from the norm

In the swirling vortex
My cerebral cortex
accessed my predecessors & I began to sing in an unknown tongue
little knowing the history that the future had already sung

Looking down I noticed I’d been lifted
By a black funnel cloud I’d been gifted

Perspectives of all eras at once parallel
I got a taste of heaven because I’d gone through hell

Tornadic twister tickling my toes
Queen of the storms they’re the fodder for my prose

It is a beautifully fantastic agreement we have
These storms work healing for me like a salve

What would destroy others was my resting place nearly all my life
The only bread I ate was the alchemy of strife

My nourishment a decoction of my very bones
Gave me the strength to build with their cast stones
Remineralizing my emotional frame
Taking pride in all my shame

Ironic is I and forever will be
A parabolic conundrum is the mystery of me

A soul tenderized till it turned to dust
My veins filled with watery rust

Some were destined to have their formation begin at the peak
While yet others foundations were steeped in the blackest of bleak

The fonts of my thoughts drip social media like the ink of a quill
My catalystic gift is to write till we heal

Catalyst
Catechist
Paradoxically profound

The gist is in the grist
And its wisdom is compound

Cozett Dunn ©


#chatttownpoet #cozettcontemplates #thepoetryofcozettdunn #writer #poetry #profoundpoetry #ironicpoetry #alchemy #thecatalyst

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Cozett Contemplates: The Energy Of Opportunity

Cozett Contemplates the energy of opportunity

What do you think of when you hear the word, “opportunity”?

Opportunity has to do with potential. And, potential has to do with pre-manifestation frequencies.

Whether you realize it or not you and everyone in your life is consistently manifesting something. We are all manifesting connections, people, situations, relationships…and opportunities.

Depending on whether you are in alignment with your soul’s calling you may or may not be manifesting opportunities that lead you one step CLOSER to the highest version of yourself. The richer version of you. The healthier and happier version of you. The more at peace version of yourself.

This is where logic tripped me up. For nearly all of my life I consistently put my heart on the back burner and followed logic alone. I believed that my heart was “wishy-washy” and couldn’t be trusted. That is what I was taught. Now I see what a horrifying travesty that teaching is. It is an actual and literal betrayal of your soul. If you’re a Christian…that soul is one that Jesus died to redeem. For many years I heard it preached that “the heart is deceptive.” Yes, there is a bible verse that says this…but because Jesus came to show us a better way….I will not reference it. I won’t reference it because I’d rather you focus on the work of Jesus than the condemnation of old testament theology.

My struggle for years was, “if Jesus gave me a new heart then why am I not allowed to trust it? Would he create something brand new in me if it were not of quality workmanship? Given to me in such seriousness so as to be willing to DIE and be executed and misunderstood for my new heart only for HIS preachers to keep preaching that it’s ugly, sinful, untrustworthy, and fickle?”

No, my friends. This is not the way. There is a better way. And that way is the way of your heart. Because of this kind of stuff I no longer identify as fundamental or conservative. And because of this detachment to brute thinking I have healed and become more vibrant than I have ever been at any point in my life thus far. So, now that I have addressed the religious perspective I’m going to move on to a point that is more comprehensive and inclusive. I write so that I can “feel with” atheists, religious folks, spiritual folks, and everyone in between. Why? Because….I am everyone in between. I’ll save that concept for another post! ha ha

EVERY opportunity that will ever come your way carries its own unique energetic signature. And it is that frequency, that signature that you should learn to pay attention to rather than just the “trappings” that the opportunity comes dressed in. There is ALWAYS more than meets the eye. That applies to people, places and things.

Here’s what I mean. Over the course of my adult life I’ve owned and operated multiple businesses at once. I am multi-passionate. And because of that I call myself a “multipreneur.” I have learned some great lessons from being this kind of business owner that I want to pass on to you because I want you to have the ability to read the energy of the opportunities that come your way so you can identify which ones to seize and which ones to pass on. This is so important when it comes to coming into alignment with your dreams. Your callings.

Lesson #1- If you reject opportunities that appeal to your heart but not your mind and are consistently led by logic you are sending a message out into the atmosphere that you would “rather betray your heart and not listen to your conscience and that following what you “should” do is more important than following what you “know” to do.” Essentially you are opening yourself to more opportunities to betray yourself and your emotions and your purpose. Sit with that. Is that ok with you?

Lesson #2- The head is more deceptive than the heart could ever be. Our heads are filled on a daily basis with what? Social media images that tell us our bodies aren’t good enough, our beauty isn’t vibrant enough, our favorite politicians are taking a beating, our religions are so persecuted, our vehicles aren’t nice enough, and so we become programmed. Our minds become programmed. Not our hearts. Our hearts hold an eternal knowing that cannot be diminished or layered over enough so as to cover up the truth of our calling, our paths, our purpose. Unless of course we refuse this knowing. Then it will lie dormant and any potential you would have otherwise had is for nothing because you spent your life following a programmed mind rather than the innocent and pure knowing of your heart.

Lesson #3- Saying yes to our heads and no to our hearts sends the message that our heart’s desires are of no value and so we keep receiving opportunities that lead us away from our soul’s calling.

For many years I turned down the volume on the voice of my heart. I focused on work that seemed to be, “the only logically good decision.” The decision that I knew my family would prefer I make. The decision that logically looked like it would bring in more money. Logic deals with surface things. Not deep things. If you want to live a life that is shallow, by all means, go for the surface stuff. But, if you want a life that is cultivated, richly deep and satisfying…the only way is the way of your heart.

By following logic and betraying my heart I was out of alignment with my life’s purpose. My physical and mental health suffered greatly. At almost 44 years of age I am just now recovering from the health disasters of following a logic-based lifestyle. I DO NOT want you to make the same mistake.

Because of the pain that FORCED me out of my firmly held place in logic I had no choice but to turn and “try out the desires of my heart.” I began to “FEEL” the opportunities rather than assess them based on logic alone. I would sit with an opportunity that logically didn’t make sense but that emotionally lined up with my passions. For me those things have been travel (Sovereign Travel by Cozett, http://cozettdunn.inteletravel.com healthier living (Sovereign Beauty http://www.crunchi.com/cozettdunn, and writing (Cozett Contemplates https://www.facebook.com/chatttownpoet. Who makes money doing those things?? Answer: the person who is passionate about them!! This girl!!

2023 for me is, “the year of the yes.” I will say yes to my heart more this year than I have in all the other years of my life combined. Can you imagine the adventure in that?? That is wild!! It’s gonna feel good and I am going to feel good! This is my intention. This is my path. And, I hope that as you’ve read this heart-centered post that it has created a courage in you that perhaps you never believed you could have. I hope when this messages finds you that it is YOUR catalyst to living the life of your dreams. I hope that it will be the springboard into a life that is healthier, wealthier, and more satisfying than you could have imagined you could have and definitely more than what you’ve experienced up to this point in your journey.

I hope this year will be “the year of the yes” for your heart and that all your WILDEST dreams come true.

I love you. I really do.

Cozett Dunn

#cozettcontemplates#yourbestlifenow#DontMakeThisMistake#followyourheart#energeticshift#opportunity#morethanmeetstheeye

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Your expansion is the goal of the Universe.

What I’m about to tell you will hopefully yield many “aha” moments for you. My hope for this post is that it will make certain things, “click” for you in your pursuit of understanding yourself and your situations better.

The cosmos, our universe is like an etheric womb. It consists of many dimensions, materials found on earth and not on earth. Outside of our atmosphere certain laws that keep life as we know it going no longer exist. Gravity being one of those things. The universe is weird and wild place once you break through the atmosphere of earth. We imagine it contains “alien life” or various cosmic races. It is the inspiration for doomsday movies, extraterrestrial thrillers, scientific documentaries, poetry, art, and our imaginations simply run wild when we think about “what could be out there.”

But, one thing is imperative when it comes to our understanding of the universe. If we know nothing else, we need to understand this. And, that is that the universe is expanding. There is so much we don’t know about it. But, one thing is for sure regardless of what it contains it is STILL making space. That is it’s nature. It is ontologically expanding. If I could describe the universe in just a few words, I would call it the, “eternal now.”

Our most current scientific measurements about the rate of it’s expansion is mind-blowing. Wanna know how fast this cosmic womb is expanding?? It is expanding at about 45 miles per second. Sit with that. What does that mean? What are the implications of that for such a finite being as yourself? What is the implication of this expansion in light of your life? Your perspective? Your understanding of the people and world around you? Are you expanding? If you’re not….you should be. If you’re not….you’re really just resisting something that is inevitable. Whether you like it or not the expansion of the universe has a direct influence on everything about you. If you are someone who doesn’t like change this message will likely be met with resistance and a daunting feeling. If you are a person who thrives on change, an adventure junkie or are into personal growth this may just be the messaged you needed to hear!

Now, I want you to think about your contrasts. Your challenges. Get them clear in the forefront of your mind before you continue reading.

Ready?

Let’s talk about the age old question that every human who has ever walked this planet has asked at one point in their existence. “Why?” “Why me?” “Why this?

If you follow any inspirational figures at all, whether they are a preacher from some sort of religion like Christianity, Islam or Judaism, or maybe they’re Hindu, or maybe they are pagan or just generally spiritually inclined, or maybe they are atheists and look at life with a singular view that is influenced by personal growth in general, outside the bounds of God or spirituality. The point here is that regardless of their contexts one message rings true from every single one of them. And, that is this. “Challenges have the potential to grow you. They have the potential to make you stronger. They can be stepping stones to increased potential and capacity.” That’s it. That’s the message. It doesn’t matter from whose mouth it comes or from what spiritual or non-spiritual context that mouth speaks from. The message is true and it is ONE thing we can ALL agree on.

So, challenges expand us. They create capacity within the space of our character, our emotions, our knowledge, our understanding, our relationships, and our overall health.

The universe will never stop expanding. It can’t even if it wanted to. As you read this the universe has already created NEW SPACE…and whether you realize it or not…part of that space is found in you. In the seconds you are reading this post.

On the path of its expansion it is unapologetic and it’s not taking any prisoners. It is unstoppable, unyielding, hurdling into its own expansion with every second that ticks by. With every blink of your eye it becomes larger.

You are part of this universe. You cannot escape it. It cannot escape you. It is part of and responsible for the essence of your being. You are energy. The first law of thermodynamics states that, “energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be transformed from one form to another.” In light of this you also…are the “eternal now.”

Let’s narrow our focus. Still have your challenges in mind? Good. Have you ever asked, “why me” concerning your challenges? Of course you have. Particularly if your challenges have been unfair, mysterious, repeating or chronic you have asked this question.

The universe, in it’s expansion, is not focused on any challenges. It is focused on expanding at all costs and according to it’s own pace. And because you are part of this universe you are being forced to expand. Expansion looks and feels a little different to a finite human than it does to the cosmos. Because our physical bodies are finite but our essence, our energy is not, there is an inherent contrast that we will face every moment we are in this body. It is a dichotomy. You are a walking contrast because your skin silhouette that is temporary is influenced and animated by an eternal nature. Once you shuck off the body your energy doesn’t cease because it cannot. Because of this….life as we know it can be painful.

Living in this divine contrast is oxymoronic. The eternal now flows through your temporary experience. And, this fact necessitates, precipitates and facilitates the expansion of…you.

What I want you to do once you are finished reading this is to get still, get quiet, close your eyes and regardless of any fear or misgivings you may have, I want you to bring your challenges to the front and center of your conscious awareness. Maybe your challenge is weight loss, or addiction, or chronic pain, or mental health issues, family issues, financial problems, relationship problems, etc. Bring one of those things to the front of your mind and ask yourself, “what does my weight loss challenge feel like in the amount of space it takes up within this rapidly expanding universe?” Energy takes up space. We all have a measurable magnetic field in which our energy extends. The energy of our heart can be measured 3 ft from the outside of our chest. This is why many of us get uncomfortable when strangers get in our “personal space.” It is because their strange energy has penetrated the energetic field of an organ that is highly sensitive to energy.

So, your struggle is energy (because literally everything is). And, that energy can feel so overwhelming when we focus it narrowly on the instrument that is our bodies and minds. It causes us to become hyper-focused on how the challenge makes our bodies and emotions feel and we get lost in the struggle, consumed by it because it is “pent up” within the confines our personal experience. An experience that many others cannot feel or perceive (unless they are empathic, but even then only to a certain degree). So it creates a feeling of isolation or loneliness and depending on how hard the challenge is and how long it has gone on it can even make you feel like the universe or God has painted a target on your back because you can’t seem to escape or surmount it no matter what you do.

But, if you can spend time intentionally feeling your struggle or challenge in light of the space, the universe (not your body or mind) that it exists in, then you become informed that it is not as big as you perceive it to be. It can’t be. Why? Because it exists not just within your experience but within the context of a universe that is expanding 45 ft per second. Focus on its finiteness. Its smallness in light of expansion.

In short, because the universe is expanding it is forcing you to expand as well. And because it won’t stop expanding you won’t stop experiencing the challenges that result from living in a temporary body that is animated by an infinite nature. Is the universe a sadist?? ha ha. It can certainly feel like! But, that isn’t the case. It is focused on expansion. You are part of that expansion. Your mind, body, thoughts, experiences at work, home and in or out of love will always be challenged because your essence is one with the fabric of the universe and that fabric is elastic. It stretches on forever but it doesn’t break. Your body and mind might break but even they will reorganize either through personal and spiritual growth or once you die your energy will be transformed into another form and continue its expansion in the new form.

So, God isn’t out to get you. The universe isn’t a sadist. There is a reason for your sufferings and challenges. They are meant to expand you regardless of how painful that can be.

The universe will always be about its expansion and once you can couch your challenges into the context of an “eternal now” you will experience not only a lessening of the emotional and mental intensity of how they press you but gain a sense of purpose for your suffering. Think about that. What are the implications of you overcoming once and for all, the challenges you face? Sure, you will feel better personally in many ways. But ultimately you will be expanded. That means your capacity will increase. When your capacity increases your ability to integrate suffering becomes more finely honed and skillful. And once that happens you too become like the universe. An unstoppable, outward force. If you are that then you will become a catalyst for the entire planet in the transformation of human suffering in general. And, that is a very big deal. So your suffering isn’t just about you. It’s about expansion and it’s about creating a ripple effect of peace and greater harmony in the world around you affected in the lives and hearts of your neighbors, friends and family. This is the goal of the universe. The goal of the universe is your expansion. Find what that means for you.

Yours in expansion,
Cozett Dunn

#cozettcontemplates #UniversalExpansion #personalgrowth #spiritualgrowth #motivation #mindset #suffering #challenges #TheCosmos #theuniverse

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She Brought Us All Together Again: Love Is Greater Than Faith

Cozett Contemplates how she brought us all together again…

This morning my meditation released a lot of stored emotion I have about the division we’ve faced collectively over the last several years.

I don’t think I realized how deeply it has affected me.

All my life I have been a peace keeper of sorts. Human suffering has always bothered me. Always. And, I’ve always had this drive to help everyone I can to avoid suffering, consequence, and repercussion.

When I was in 1st grade, I was in a shared classroom with kindergartners. Our teacher is to this day still the favorite teacher I ever had. I remember her that clearly. Originally, Miss Gregory, then she got married and became Mrs. Aldridge. I loved her. She had one big rule for our classroom. And that rule was, “NO MORE THAN ONE ON THE FLOOR.”

She knew how frenetic young children can be and this was one way to keep order, peace, flow in our classroom.

One day while doing a writing lesson, I noticed two kindergartners at the sink. One had gone up to wash his hands from some finger painting they were doing. Then his friend got up and walked to the sink as well and was whispering in his ear. I remember feeling fear, feeling frantic, because I didn’t want them to get in trouble.

So, while they were talking at the sink, I decided to “risk it all” as much as a first grader can! ha ha. I thought, “if I can get to them before she does and get them to sit back down then it will be worth the risk of becoming the 3RD person on the floor!”

So, I quickly got up and walked up to the two boys and said quietly, “you all aren’t supposed to be up here. No more than one on the floor. You’re going to get in trouble.”

Suddenly, from out of nowhere came a whack across my bottom followed by 2 other whacks on theirs.

I felt so defeated. Embarrassed. Like I had lost an epic battle trying to do something good. Trying to do something that would “save” them. How could my pure motives bring me this? Punishment?? Of all the things.

That was the first of many lessons to come. That lesson that is now finding its articulation in this post, at the age of 43, is that “you can’t save everyone. And, as hard as it is to watch sometimes you have to allow others paths to unfold without interruption. While you think you are interrupting pain, it is more likely that you will be interrupting valuable lessons that will keep that person from pain in the future, when you aren’t around to save them or look out for them.”

As an adult I’ve not really departed from this inclination. I’ve refined it though through my own lessons of pain that weren’t interrupted.

During meditation I was asking myself, “what is next for me?” I’ve created 3 additional businesses that will serve as platforms for my own personal expression, healing messages, joy for myself and others, and another means of ensuring my own stability, as a single woman, one income household. But, they are not ends in and of themselves. They are my children. And, I want to watch after them dutifully, and support them by being their biggest cheerleader. But, that isn’t the end of my journey. It is a hugely satisfying accomplishment, yes. But, obviously that isn’t where my story ends.

This is when I began to cry. I actually cried so hard I began to shake. I began having flash images of memories over the last several years of social media posts, and news headlines, and news stories of our how country and world has erupted into sickness, war, racism, and near elimination of the middle-class.

Between religion, politics, poverty, and humanity’s inability to hold space for others who are different we have created a very sick atmosphere to live in. And, if you are an empath, you like me, probably feel all of this in your body and it is like a personal version of hell.

I’ve felt so trapped. Having a higher perspective and wanting to run to everyone and “get them away from the sink so they wouldn’t experience pain for their choices.”

So, this morning after I asked the question to myself, and to God, “what is next for me?” I heard these words, “She brought us all together again.”

That will be my legacy. These social media posts I do, my YouTube videos, my businesses, my voice are all channels to the goal that I wish to meet and enjoy as I lie on my death bed. And, that is world peace. I don’t care how lofty that sounds. And, I don’t care what any religion, psychologist, sociologist or other teacher says about how that’s not going to happen, or how it can’t happen, or how it has been predicted that we will only ever unwind into an apocalyptic extinction.

While I am here and while I have breath in my body I will strive to help people who are vastly different from each other, join hands and hearts.

There is truly more that unites us than divides us. I want to be intentional about loving my neighbor. And, I want you to be as well.

When we are falling out with each other due to different religions, skin color, economic philosophies, parenting, body image, etc. And, when our planet becomes inundated with a virus that is global. These are symptoms of what is happening in the collective unconscious. There are some bad programs running beneath the conscious awareness of our thought life that is pulling us into a chasm.

I’ve always been naturally ecumenical in nature. Here’s what I mean. I grew up to about the age of 12 or 13 as a Jehovah’s witness. Then around the age of 14 I had the opportunity to attend a Pentecostal church. It was in this setting that I found a place where I could enjoy self-expression in light of my feelings about God. The ecstatic worship services gave me a break from my crisis filled childhood. I got to see other examples than just my own family of origin in how differently people see God and respond to God and live out their beliefs. It was absolutely beautiful to my innocent mind. And, to this day I wish I could go back and experience these types of services. Unfortunately, I cannot and for reasons that would require another long post. For all of its faults, and frailties it gave me something beautiful to take away once I diverged. I gained a lot of confidence to approach and to continue learning about, God. As an adult woman, who was a preacher within a Pentecostal tradition I constantly strove to bring together Catholics, and other protestant denominations. I incorporated their theology into my own and tried my best to preach from that space.

Because I desperately wanted to be a responsible teacher who created and perpetuated unity and because I felt a duty to make sure that everyone who came under the sound of my voice wouldn’t receive only the fundamentals of the faith. They had plenty of that. We are still to this day harped on and harping at each other and everyone else the 10 commandments. What a shame. Even Paul, an Apostle, said we should leave the elementary teachings of the faith behind and go on to greater things. The mysteries of the Christ. Not cause and effect. Not good and bad. Not right and wrong. If your heart is renewed and you’re an ethical person at all you don’t need to be told any of this in order to follow it. There is a lot of wasted breath that could be used to teach people….how not to feel disdain for other religions but rather curiosity. The world’s religions are characterized by what I call, “the big 3.” Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. We are ALL Abrahamic. And, it is a disservice to the messengers of our faith contexts to somehow in our imaginations pit them against each other in a make believe fight for supremacy. How egoic is that? Yuck. God has nothing to do with that in reality. At all.

But, it’s not enough to be religiously or spiritually ecumenical, is it? No. Why? Because even that, as well-rounded as it can seem, STILL disenfranchises humanity. Yes, there is an entire world outside the confines of any religion or spirituality. And, I also want to find myself there. And, you should too. We weren’t created FOR religion. It is not my life purpose, nor is it yours, to die championing the supremacy of your religion. We are here for the purpose of life. LIFE is the purpose of all of us. I’ve discovered this because of death. When you are one breath away from homelessness, when you are sick in your body, mind and relationships….you understand acutely, how pointless religion and its supremacy really is. The only thing that matters is life and love.

There is a famous bible verse, penned by Paul an apostle to a church in Corinth. In 1 Cor. 13:13 he exhorted the congregation by saying, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Let me say this in a way that I hope you will understand:

1. Love is greater than faith.

That’s it. The end.

Love is greater than your faith context. In other words, your faith isn’t nearly as important as your capacity to hold space for people unlike yourself.

As an adult woman I still feel the nature of my girlhood within me. I am still wanting to rescue people and steer them away from all that harms. Even if, AND ESPECIALLY if, that is our own behaviors, and attitudes.

And, that’s what this post is. Me, an as of yet, not college educated, single, white woman in the southeastern United States, whose appearance fits my stereotype. I mean my accent alone sends the message about my stereotype. My accent is…mamaw’s cornbread, with sorghum and grits.

But, I’m here. I’m showing up. In spite of my physical appearance, my accent, my heavily religious background. I’m here. And, I’m pointing to behaviors that will bring us all pain.

I’m urging you…to sit back down. No more than one on the floor. Sit, think and allow curiosity and compassion and consideration and commonalities to saturate your conscience. Allow these things to point you away from divisive behaviors and philosophies.

We really are better together. ALL of us. And, I am joining hands with everyone. Especially people who don’t share anything in common with me other than the fact that we need clean air, clean food, safe neighborhoods, and schools for our children. If that’s it (which it isn’t) that is enough. Love can grow from just those things.

I love you….do you love me?

Yours truly,

Cozett Dunn

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Rain Falling Forward

Times of refreshing rain falling on me falling forward

I turned to my inner sea and collapsed shoreward

Rising from the black sand beach of my subconscious

Walls closing in around me I must become dauntless

My time here has come to end. My time here is about to fall backward

May it collapse into the unconscious sea for it never was truly me

I learned something the other day while I was reading, “Flowers On The Path.” And that is the karma of living unaligned invites wrath.

I read this book by Sadhguru, my Indian mystic, the one I aspire to emulate.

It was the rain falling forward that knocked me from this path of wrath

It was the rain falling forward that was my footpath

Solar plexus has become my lexis

I’ve learned to trust my gut

My pivotal nexus gives assurance so I strut

From one country to the next all around the globe

In the soil of every country I become their microbe

Giving life to the foundation of all we are and need

My happiness demands I elude the greed

Hermetic aesthetic

My soul won’t fit in a corporate hole

Capitalism is apathetic

Because it deems the hermit pathetic

So narrow. Only preying it knows

But, I plan to take it down with the gift of my prose

The great whore who preys upon the people

The great whore who has made it’s home under the steeple

I will write until my writing becomes a freedom song

Liberating the inhabitants of the earth and making them strong

A mother to the nations I’m calling first the east, then the north

Before I venture to the south and call them all forth

I give up entirely on the west. It is from where I came

It’s way of life nearly made me lame. I will leave it to another creature

Or perhaps to the lukewarm church and its favorite hateful preacher

Were it not for the falling forward rain

My life would still be subject to drain

But, I am moving forward now in this beautiful falling forward rain

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Science Is The Twin Flame Of Spirit

For nearly the entirety of my life I have spent my free time, my play time, contemplating life. How big it is. Why people do what they do. Why people think the way they think. Why people interacted with me the way they did. What does the future hold for the universe as we know it. What impact does the unseen have on the seen.

My childhood and adolescence was quite traumatic. Because of this my mamaw fiercely guarded my play and rest time. She knew that through her love and the therapy that only nature could provide I would have a shot at transitioning into a normal adulthood. Whenever domestic violence or some other drama wasn’t actively occurring she made sure that I was able to have that down time to sleep. Now, lots of sleep is nothing unique about the teenage experience. But for me prolonged sleep was imperative for my mind, emotions and body to recover from the stress of crises.

My senior year in high school brought a lot of change naturally. I was launching into legal adulthood, choosing whether or not I wanted to continue educational pursuits or take a break (I took a break), experiencing milestone events like prom, graduation, getting my first car, applying for jobs, finding my father on my 18th birthday, and of course surviving the overdoses of my mother. My senior year was so intense that I would often lie to my friends and tell them I was grounded just so I could stay home on the weekend to think about life.

As a child I would run barefoot from the house down the sloping front yard and to a pond where the cattle would gather to drink. I would first walk around the entire pond in the gray claylike mud looking for tadpoles. Nothing was more satisfying in those days than feeling the slick smooth clay of the pond to squish between my toes and see my feet disappear slowly into the murky waters as the tadpoles would gather around my ankles. I took those moments in slowly. Thinking about the feeling. The sight. What it meant to the tadpoles. Did they really flee in terror so quickly at my splashes only to return and gather unknowingly around the source of the splash?

The pond was spring fed and the spring was terraced with tiny waterfalls that eventually gave way to the opening of the pond. I would walk up into the spring to it’s very head and at its main waterfall (which hit at about the height of my knees) and pretend to be making medicines with some gnarly fallen limb from the woods. I would take my stick and jab through the top of the fall into the mud below. Think mortar and pestle. I would declare to my imaginary audience that I had just found a cure for whatever ailed them. After passing around my medicine I would go lay inside a circle of trees beside the pond and just look up at the sky for hours. Until I was either called home or found I would lay and look and think.

At the time of this writing I am 43 years old. I have devoted my life thus far to the pursuit of understanding why people think the way think and how the unseen impacts the seen. In thinking about how the unseen impacts the seen it is an inescapable thing at this juncture in history to think in terms of God. The concept of God. The understanding of God affects the thought lives of billions of people and for the atheist or agnostic they are also impacted by the beliefs of other’s beliefs about God. In short there is no escaping God. Even if you don’t believe in God you probably are in relationship with others who do and that absolutely impacts your reality, the justice you are able to receive by a legal system that is influenced by the belief in God, relational ethics and dynamics that are influenced by others belief in God. From sexuality to spirituality all these things are shaped by the concept of God whether it is a personally held concept or not.

Since 2019 I have experienced the hardest years of my adult life. I’m feeling disillusioned and disappointed. But, I’m discovering if it weren’t for my disillusionment I would have no chance at “reillusioning” a theory and philosophy that works for me. If not for disappointment I would have had no shot at being reappointed into a higher perspective. One that helps me finally to feel a level of self-assurance that will translate to my own soul how perfectly capable I am of relying on myself and trusting myself to be able to protect myself.

I am well-studied, well-versed in all of the major world religions and spiritualities. Not as an enthusiast. But, a genuine learner. I have been careful to take a scholarly approach to all things unseen, all things faith related. I’ve always intuitively felt that the intangible held the keys for a humanity who can holistically understand the world and people around them. And through that I, we, could form a sure scaffolding for a reliable hope.

As I’ve researched the world’s major organized religions I have observed the following:

  1. Each one subscribes to a main, male deity who feels insulted if other gods are adored or seen as powerful or wise. Monotheism. But, how can monotheism be monotheism if the “the” acknowledges that there are other gods? Thou shalt have no other gods before Me, yes? Then it follows that there are in fact other entities, other gods by the admission of the deity who says it’s wrong for any other deity to receive adoration.
  2. Researching as far back into recorded history as is humanly possible we understand the earth’s oldest spirituality is Hinduism. Hinduism is polytheistic but still features male deities as the ultimate gods to whom everyone is an emanation of. Hinduism, however, does at least teach that these male gods have female counterparts, or female energetic expressions that should be equally worshipped since they understand that masculine energy is incomplete without the feminine.
  3. In mythology which served as a religious context for many in the ancient world we see that our collective, those before us, were immersed in a world of legends held to be truth or fact. The stories of Zeus, Calliope, Cupid, Achilles, Aphrodite, Venus are all so fantastical that those of us who cut our teeth in western thought and the allopathic treatment of the intangible almost lack the capacity to believe in the unconsciousness from which they all sprang to be dealt with by the conscious. Demigods? Absolutely real. But, wait that concept is also echoed by Jesus in the NT of the Bible when He boldly declared to the super religious of his day that….”you all are gods.” Incarnated wisdom. Incarnated goodness. Incarnated creators. This is what we think a good God should be. Wise, good, and tirelessly producing.

In the last several years I’ve found the answers to many of my nagging questions about life in quantum physics and the study of metaphysics. As someone who was raised in a southeast Tennessee Christian context I was acutely aware of the history of Christians balking at science. At one time, not too long ago Christians would kill any other human who thought the world was round. The church regarded this teaching as a point of major doctrine and anyone who opposed that thought was deemed a heretic and punished accordingly. I resolved as an adolescent to listen to science no matter what because to me, to walk in this world as a single-faceted human who only has the ability to disseminate ignorant rigidity concerning the intangible is an utter betrayal of the mystery that sent me to this planet. It would be a cosmic travesty and a coward’s journey for me.

As I sat with my observations I endeavored to honestly explore the implications of them. To the best of my ability I’ve tried to allow the observations all the latitude of God. Because if truth is found in God then God isn’t afraid of the truth. How can I discount one and exalt another simply because the one I choose to exalt tells me to do so? If you have only one dollar to your name and it is in your pocket and you are dehydrated are you going to spend that dollar on water or will you throw it in the trash because someone who seems more hydrated than you tells you to do it and do it with joy because joy is a virtue do you throw it away? In the same way I have chosen my wells and I hope you do too.

As I began to finally have a big picture developing I’ve been able to think through what the implications of this big picture mean to me and how I will allow or disallow them to shape my life and relationships and career and philosophy about life in general.

Every single belief we hold has within it an origination, an emanation, an elation and a declination. Concerning God I no longer have to understand origination because that is truly impossible to know. But, emanation is where I pick up the trail and follow out each belief to see what does this belief entail, how has it shaped the world and people around me, what did or will it look like when it reaches its fullest expression, and what will its declination look like, do I already see its declination, if so what does it look like and what are the implications of its decline. If it hasn’t happened yet but I can see it coming what are the implications of its decline for me personally, and what are the implications of its decline for my neighbor.

In short, everything, every deity, every belief, philosophy will at some point collapse back in to itself. It may resurrect or reassert itself again later or it may fall away completely and out of the reach of the annuls of history for someone like you or me to discover or know that it even existed. Oscillation and vibration is everything. Why? Because literally everything tangible and intangible is comprised of electromagnetic energy. My theology, my cat, the bird on my balcony, the poem in my heart that hasn’t been written down or recited for any ears. All oscillating and vibrating. The higher the vibration the healthier is that thing, person, animal, belief. If there is no vibration. No oscillation. Then there is death. There is no escaping that reality. Your body is made up of approximately one trillion cells. Every second your body is undergoing thousands of chemical processes to keep you alive. Thousands. Every second. Completely unaware your body is carrying out its assignment.

So, where does this position me? I am a Pisces. I’m a poet. I’m a philosopher. I’m an INFJ. I am a manifestor according to human design. I am naturally and now unapologetically a metaphorical and highly spiritual person. The disillusionment and disappointment over the years have once and finally threatened willingness to believe that if a higher power exists then it exists to protect me and cheer me on as I walk through life. I’ve spent so many days crying. So many days wishing I could gather together the most prominent spiritual leaders of every organized religion and major spirituality and screaming at them, “I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!! I SEE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. I KNOW WHY YOU BELIEVE THIS. BUT, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THERE SEEMS TO EXIST ONLY A CHASM BETWEEN BELIEF AND REALITY. BECAUSE ALL TOO OFTEN THE BEHAVIOR OF YOUR ADHERENTS DO NOT MATCH THE BELIEF YOU HOLD. PLEASE PROVE TO ME WITH ALL YOUR WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE AND BEHAVIOR THAT YOUR WAY IS IN FACT THE BEST OR ONLY WAY. BECAUSE AS I STACK YOUR BELEIF AND YOUR ORIGIN STORIES AND YOUR PHILOSOPHIES AND PRACTICES TO OTHERS, WHO SAY SIMILAR THINGS I DON’T SEE HOW IT’S ANY BETTER OR SO UNIQUE THAT IT INDICATES YOUR BELIEF IS THE MOST ORIGINAL AND OLDEST AND THEREFORE THE MOST CORRECT AND SURE.”

I’ve sat with my unbelief. And I’ve realized that if I sever the part of me that is nourished by mystery and metaphor then I will kill myself. I will kill who I am at my core. So, in light of that I have deduced that my healing will not happen if I become atheist in an effort to cope with my hardship and confusion. My most sure path of healing will not include the world of mystery and metaphor but it will be my unique voice. My wilderness cry in a world that has no interest in deep listening. My voice is truly in a desert. It is dry and desolate here and in order to inhabit it you have to have a special skillset that many do not naturally possess nor are they interested in possessing. It’s quiet. The silence alone has born witness to my thought. And, it has been during my contemplation that I have concluded that spirituality cannot and should not be separated from what we consider reality. The gods have always lived among us. They have all at some point or another lived in us in the form of mysteries. Some people shake their fists at mystery because to them mystery is misery. It is a psychological plague. It removes their control and grip on their own understanding of life and as we have seen with the crusades this causes violence because it activates the bruteness and lower vibrational emotions such as anger, hate, superiority, elitism, etc.

As I meditated earlier today I decided, “I will no longer try to separate myth and mystery from science. When I read stories about how demigods came into existence, or how monks and nuns and mystics have levitated during prolonged periods of meditations, or how a scientist used the power of his mind to heal his own broken bones….I understand that the truth lies in the mystery.” Fact doesn’t have to be separated from fiction. Remember the chasm I mentioned? That chasm is space. Space between the intangible and tangible. Space between belief and practiced reality. Space. Did you know that an atom is 99.999999999% empty space? And, if you removed the empty space from the atoms of all people, the entire human race could fit in the volume of a sugar cube? Empty space where there is no obligation to believe a certain doctrine or dogma, empty space where there is no demand for decision, empty space that is completely and infinitely neutral, empty space like this should be inherent and integrated into belief system in the world whether atheistic, polytheistic, or monotheistic.

I came away from my meditation with this specific thought in my mind, “the mysterium, the mythology, theology cannot and never will be reduced down to simple calculation that is explained away by science. Science is the twin flame of spirit.” Little did I know only an hour or so later as I continued my study about physics that I would come across a quote by Nassim Haramein, a unified physics researcher and scientist. He said, “Physics without philosophy is lost in mathematics. You have to have a fundamental concept to write the math that works. And that is called thought, philosophy.”

Today my footing is more sure not because of hard and fast and provable science but because I am intrinsically rooted in mystery. I am found in metaphor. And I await science to discover me.

Yours in thought,

Cozett

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This Clinging Life Of Mine: A Response Poem For The Divine

What is this clinging life of mine

But, a withering fruit grasping its vine

What was this grand purpose of which I was told

One that is rooted in the origin stories of old

Did my forefathers have no forethought?

My foremothers had no freedom of thought

What does it mean when the sun goes down?

The moon holds me sway. It is my crown.

Riding the beast in its scarlet facade

My condemnation an act of God

Why would I ever apologize to anyone who holds space for my destruction?

What is so wicked and deplorable as a love whose murder is their introduction?

You call me crafty and I call You vain

What type of glory warrants this kind of pain?

Where is the justice for Judas? And for the vessels of dishonor?

Specifically brought forth into life for the destruction of their souls and bodies.

If confusion isn’t Your authorship

And perfection is Your penmanship

Then why do those who read and sing of your love kill, steal and destroy?

Your people? They are pursuing each other with hatred now.

Just as Your Son said.

When life and grace regress into law there is only ever death and disgrace left to embrace

What is this clinging life of mine?

It is but a petulant pawn for the Divine

What was this grand purpose of which I was told?

I need it to warm my dark as I now feel cold and old

No gift of glittering gold

Nor calls to rise and be bold

Can raise me from this shroud

That you seem to have happily allowed.

The end.

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Authentic…Unto Death

Sitting here in the dark, dimly lit bedroom I’ll soon never sleep in again. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes sitting with my chunky headphones on listening to, “Return to Innocence” by Enigma on repeat and watching Talia sleep.  I’m still processing the last 24 hours when she became suddenly blind.  If the past 3 years have taught me anything it is to slow down and spend prolonged time taking in the people, animals, and good memories made.

I stink, I’m sweaty and not even gonna shower before I fall asleep.  But, my Talia…she’s blind.  And, now I finally realize and regret my own blindness.  I’ve allowed everything and everyone to get in the way of me living my life in a more rooted way.  A more earthy way.  That’s all we really have you know?

A few years ago I read a web article about pet euthanasia.  The majority of pets who experience euthanasia do so in the company of the techs and vet and staff because it’s so hurtful to see your fur baby/child to transition in front of you.  And, that was absolutely my mindset.  But, a few techs and vets weighed in and offered an alternative perspective on pet euthanasia.   They all stated that while they completely understand why pet owners don’t want to be there to witness the event and that they will always respect people’s grief process,  they long to see more pet owners be present.  Pets have a very small circle of family and friends.  In the short span of their lives they will live in a home with family and friends who come and go.  So they may only know maybe 10 people give or take for their entire lives.  They never get a break from us, haha.  But, the thing is they never feel smothered and if it was possible they would stay within our shadow and by our sides every single second for a millenia.  Their love and devotion is bottomless, untiring, ever cheerful, ever patient, ever thrilled to hear our voice, see our face, smell our scent.  Whether it’s the first time they sniff you or the millionth time their enthusiasm never diminishes or fades, it only brings their hearts that much closer to ours.   They only ever love us more every day they’re alive.

When I read this a light went off.  Talia loves me with everything in her.  You can literally feel her love energy.  And while I am her #1 favorite human she’s like this about any human she’s ever met.  Instantly warm, curious, and gentle hoping for some affection and a new friendship.  She has never been scared of anything.  Loud sounds, thunder storms, shrieks of little ones playing or crying.

In fact when it thunderstorms sometimes she and I go out on the porch and I sit her in my lap and we watch the lightning and feel the rain spray in gently and coolly upon our bodies and faces.  When it lightnings I can see the spray on her fur and it looks like dew.

She intently looked up at the sky and followed the lightning streaks with her eyes.  Sniffing the wind occasionally for some wild scents.  Never flinching, squirming, or tense.  Relaxed, intrigued, longing to see what it would feel like up in the sky above her.  She is such a brave old girl.  Car rides?  She loves them.  Going for a walk on a leash?  Yes, please.

My constant companion whom has shown me much greater and deeper love than the majority of humans who have been in my life. 

Because of this I resolved that when the day comes if I am able to have any forewarning of her passing I will hold her in my arms and sing her her favorite lullabys.  I’ve reworded I don’t know how many songs to include her name and take her beautiful gentle life into adventure stories, sleepy time songs, and of course my doting love songs over my precious cat.  I will stay by her side just like she has mine.  My arms, hands, scent and voice, touch, body warmth and love….as much love as any human could ever possibly hold…my love for her will be the last experience she has here.  She never left my side and I’ll never leave hers either.  Ever.  I’ll be holding her and kissing her little knobby head and singing to her until she’s in the arms of the angels. 

Her gentleness is like her own cottony fur.  So tender and soft you can hardly even feel it touching your skin.  She’s so tiny.  At the time of this writing she weighs about 6 lbs.  She’s a bit underweight even though she’s small.   I’m not entirely sure what breeds she’s made from but she has a tortoise siamese colored coat and deep, dark blue eyes (that now look a bit purple in her blindness).  And she’s very short, low to the ground, haha.  And her little tail is short.  She’s built like a munchkin but has the coat and eyes of a Siamese.

Her little multi-colored paws look like they are ringed in caramel.  And she loves belly rubs.  And 99% of the time doesn’t attack my hand.  That 1% though….she’s got a streak.  I guess if she didn’t she wouldn’t have been able to put up with mine and Margo Holder s crap all these years, hahaha.  Margo often says that Talia is her spirit animal and believe me when I say, she is not wrong.

At any rate, beyond all of this the last 24 hours of her going suddenly completely blind has opened my eyes to something I’ve decided I want to do that will likely seem odd to more people than not.  But, that’s how I roll anyway.

I have deep regrets about not spending as much time with my family and friends as I’d like to.  I’ve allowed life to get in the way.  And if I allow life to be a stumbling block…what will that mean at death?

For many years now I’ve casually researched death doulas.  Most people don’t even know what a doula is much less a death doula.  Now, I’m not saying I want to be or am going to be a death doula by profession.  But, there are some facets of their work that I am going to implement where it’s appropriate and of course permissible.

I have decided that I want my heart to break wide open and hold my family and friends in my arms as they transition so that it is my hands, my arms, my energy, my truest and deepest love for them to be what they are enveloped in as they transition.

I’ve always been a lover.  A hugger…to the point of extreme and strange awkwardness. 

But,  how can I apologize for that?  And, for what reason should I reign it in?  Covid-19 wiped millions of people off this planet in the blink of an eye comparatively speaking.  And, not just Covid, but wars, disasters, political rhetoric that has risen to the point that brother is against brother.  I long for the day to see field upon field joined to pastures and woodlands filled with a great many more plowshares.  As it is, sheaths clamor and tremble longing for the bloodied blades to return again for fear of being found guilty before God as being accomplices.

Blood is crying out from the ground but we can’t hear it because the main stream has become the main scream and their volume has driven us to deafness.  Our ears dull and listening unskilled.  Our mouths boastful, arrogant and insisting on our own rights, or beliefs to be looked at as the pinnacle of truth even if it means the death of another human who doesn’t agree.

No.  This world isn’t for me.  So, from this point forward I’m going my own way.  I’m about to do everything in my life the weirdest and most unconventional way as possible. 

Life is valuable.  It is precious.  Sacred. Holy in its own right.  How could I betray it by living anything less than 1000% authentically to who I am, to what my level and intensity of love is like, to cleave to my own philosophies formed circumspectly and carefully?  How could I ever be ok with exchanging even the weirdest things about me in lieu of making myself more acceptable?   Life is too short for that.  It’s too brilliantly faceted for that.  I am committed to being my different self no matter what that looks like or who it may trouble.   Doing death differently…addressing the deeper, intangible components of dying and watching life transform as its vehicle weakens…is when you know you’re a catalyst and have just changed your own trajectory.  Forever.  I will never be the same after these last 3 years and it took my dear Talia’s blindness to open my eyes to the truth that it is in fact how life should be lived so that when we settle into the arms of death we will embrace it regretless and with the sense of an old dear friend who has come to pay a visit. 

I am different.  Unto death.

My desire is to be the most open, accepting, loving, heart-centered person you know.   And, if I can be that then don’t thank me or give me any accolades.  Thank Margo Holder, my mamaw, my nieces and nephews, my parents, my brothers, and my intimate friends.  Because it is them who have shaped me and shown me how weird love is, how unconditional it can feel, and the powerful relief it offers when you’re in the worst pain of your life.  We aren’t perfect.  None of us are.  And far be it from me to close my mind and heart to this human experience.

We are all walking miracles. Our pets included.

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Cozett’s Crossroads

I have come to a major crossroads in my life. Typically my writing is a bit more metaphoric and maybe verbose. But, this. This is a thought dump.

I’m to a place where I need to discover what can make my life enjoyable outside of spirituality and sexuality. Those two things have been basically who I am my entire life. I’ve always loved, eat, slept, breathed, drank and spent thousands upon thousands of dollars into learning more about both. These two facets of most people’s lives even though so common are so much more energetically complex than the majority of people care to think about.

But, it’s these two things that have caused me the most pain, confusion, division, and mental health issues for me. I’m not going to go into the reasons why as the explanations are lengthy. But, will touch on them lightly as necessary to make this entry as coherent and cohesive as possible.

An admittance of one of my major flaws is that unless a subject, experience, encounter, or conversation is “deep” then it leaves me feeling empty and disconnected. Obviously, it’s too intense to be that way all the time for most people and maybe that’s why fatigue is an issue for me.

At any rate, I am here trying to reimagine my life sans spirituality and sans romantic/sexual interactions. I really don’t know who I am apart from these two things. So, I guess that means I’m getting ready to mourn the parts of myself that I always hoped would be the parts to experience the depth and breadth and richness this planet can offer the most.

I’ve never been a parent so I don’t have kids that I have to live for. That’s a big thing for most people. I have two cats that are the best pets ever so that brings me a great deal of comfort and joy. The type of work that I love to do I can’t do due to lack of education and competition. So, I don’t love my job.

Travel. I guess maybe that’s the next big thing for me? We shall see. But, even that has always held a spiritual quality for me. I suppose I could shift it to where I could feel it more poetically than spiritually.

More later.

Cheers,

Cozett Dunn

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