Tag: Symbology

No Water For The Wolves

Lying in the silence. All is black around me save my phone and wifi light. And all I can think about is how my mother’s death is stirring in me an even greater fire and resolve to be living light. I want my light to shine into the cosmos and to be a home to every human without exception.

I want to be….wide, long, deep, tall, ever expanding light, warmth, and peace and safety.

I want my table to extend into the nations.

Where there is light people feel seen, where there is light there is clarity, there is life, there is strength, and hope.

In a world filled with humans who despise what they don’t get, fear what they can’t understand, and murder either with their thoughts or hands those who are divergent…..I want to be different.

Love is beautiful anarchy

Light is the epitome of rebellion against darkened understanding

Brilliant bright light so the world can see
Recklessly loving us all into anarchy

While the planet is threshed wheat from tare
I’ll gather and glean to me those in despair

It is enough for those standing accepted in the sun
To carry the status of a chosen one

I’ll cast my lot with the vagabond parade
I vomit at the charity of pretentious charade

Babylon, Babylon, can’t you see she’s imploding?
Or are your ears deafened from your own gloating?

Superiority, elitism, white washed graves
Their throats lie open like wilderness caves

But they won’t catch me or mine
Unbeknownst to them we are made of brine

And, I refuse to give them water…

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The Haunting Resonance Of The Grit: Grungy Motels And Why I Can’t Resist Them

Traveling is one of my greatest passions. There has yet to be a greater rush for me that confirms I am indeed alive.

Travel challenges me. It is an epic (and I mean this in the literal sense of the word) vehicle for shadow work, soul-searching, and, self-discovery. The profundity I encounter is always trajectory shifting. Mind-blowing. Salvific. Paradigm shattering. And, oh soooooo endearingly sweet.

I do mostly solo travel, and if there is 1 regret I have from this, it is that I have these most profound moments alone. I live my life nearly entirely unwitnessed. And while my life isn’t opulent (yet), it is worthy of being witnessed. I’ve transformed and moved through some pretty awe-inspiring shit. I want so much for someone to see it with me. See….me with me. See the grit and feel it with me so that I can tell my stories about the black grainy gravel that made its home beneath my fingernails for a while.

I want to share how and why I find such a haunting and somewhat macabre peace when I stay in a dirty, shady motel. For one thing….the energetic imprints in these types of motels are downloaded onto my psyche like an old school record and needle. By feeling the grooves, I hear the song. It’s like preternatural braille. The imprints tell me their stories without words or any sort of audio. I seem to somehow “know” and “feel with” the room I stay in and the lobby I occasionally venture into.

Would I prefer to be in an all-inclusive 5-star resort?? You betcha. But I don’t yet feel a resonance with that atmosphere. I suppose that’s because I’ve always fluctuated between lower middle class and poverty. But, for the sake of adventure, I hope that will soon change so I can know what it feels like to resonate with the opulence and unadulterated relaxation that I actually need.

At any rate, I wanted to share a picture of where I am tonight. March 13th, 2023, at 12:42 am. I am at the Super 8 Wyndham motel in College Park, GA. Hartsfield-Jackson is adjacent. And I have been plane spotting while here. That is another rush for me. I can’t get enough of lift-offs. I find resonance in them as well. More on that some other time.

But this motel….it’s rough, hahaha. I saw a 10 year old boy across the street at Food Mart dealing drugs. I have just begun writing this post after calling on the angels for him. But, 10 years old. Wow. I was around drugs but thankfully wasn’t doing or dealing them at that age. There’s always someone who’s had it worse. Perspective.

I can’t resist these places because when I walk in and I see how the rooms are half dilapidated and should be condemned but it also looks like some upgrades have begun….it is my mirror. Half-dilapidated yet under construction. Hints of mildew in rusted showers. Carpet that smells like mango perfume but makes the bottom of your feet look like you’ve stepped in soot. A king sized bed wrapped in so many cases and sheets with decent pillows yet when you lie in it you find yourself rolling to one side because it has some weird hump in the middle that isn’t visible but can be felt once you’re stretched across it.

But, the mirror looks new. The mini fridge works. And the night stands look new. In the words of William, The Worm, in the movie, “Labyrinth,” “Oh,well. Close enough.” It is in that spirit I exhale in the darkness that now surrounds me knowing that although I’m in a strange and gritty place, I’m also in a place that feels familiar. And, even though this motel gets 2 stars with one review stating a guest left because as they were checking they encountered an Atlanta Homicide team and on their way back to their car walked past a coroner vehicle, there is strangely still comfort in familiarity. An understanding. And of course…this unwitnessed moment that no one will ever see….but me.

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Science Is The Twin Flame Of Spirit

For nearly the entirety of my life I have spent my free time, my play time, contemplating life. How big it is. Why people do what they do. Why people think the way they think. Why people interacted with me the way they did. What does the future hold for the universe as we know it. What impact does the unseen have on the seen.

My childhood and adolescence was quite traumatic. Because of this my mamaw fiercely guarded my play and rest time. She knew that through her love and the therapy that only nature could provide I would have a shot at transitioning into a normal adulthood. Whenever domestic violence or some other drama wasn’t actively occurring she made sure that I was able to have that down time to sleep. Now, lots of sleep is nothing unique about the teenage experience. But for me prolonged sleep was imperative for my mind, emotions and body to recover from the stress of crises.

My senior year in high school brought a lot of change naturally. I was launching into legal adulthood, choosing whether or not I wanted to continue educational pursuits or take a break (I took a break), experiencing milestone events like prom, graduation, getting my first car, applying for jobs, finding my father on my 18th birthday, and of course surviving the overdoses of my mother. My senior year was so intense that I would often lie to my friends and tell them I was grounded just so I could stay home on the weekend to think about life.

As a child I would run barefoot from the house down the sloping front yard and to a pond where the cattle would gather to drink. I would first walk around the entire pond in the gray claylike mud looking for tadpoles. Nothing was more satisfying in those days than feeling the slick smooth clay of the pond to squish between my toes and see my feet disappear slowly into the murky waters as the tadpoles would gather around my ankles. I took those moments in slowly. Thinking about the feeling. The sight. What it meant to the tadpoles. Did they really flee in terror so quickly at my splashes only to return and gather unknowingly around the source of the splash?

The pond was spring fed and the spring was terraced with tiny waterfalls that eventually gave way to the opening of the pond. I would walk up into the spring to it’s very head and at its main waterfall (which hit at about the height of my knees) and pretend to be making medicines with some gnarly fallen limb from the woods. I would take my stick and jab through the top of the fall into the mud below. Think mortar and pestle. I would declare to my imaginary audience that I had just found a cure for whatever ailed them. After passing around my medicine I would go lay inside a circle of trees beside the pond and just look up at the sky for hours. Until I was either called home or found I would lay and look and think.

At the time of this writing I am 43 years old. I have devoted my life thus far to the pursuit of understanding why people think the way think and how the unseen impacts the seen. In thinking about how the unseen impacts the seen it is an inescapable thing at this juncture in history to think in terms of God. The concept of God. The understanding of God affects the thought lives of billions of people and for the atheist or agnostic they are also impacted by the beliefs of other’s beliefs about God. In short there is no escaping God. Even if you don’t believe in God you probably are in relationship with others who do and that absolutely impacts your reality, the justice you are able to receive by a legal system that is influenced by the belief in God, relational ethics and dynamics that are influenced by others belief in God. From sexuality to spirituality all these things are shaped by the concept of God whether it is a personally held concept or not.

Since 2019 I have experienced the hardest years of my adult life. I’m feeling disillusioned and disappointed. But, I’m discovering if it weren’t for my disillusionment I would have no chance at “reillusioning” a theory and philosophy that works for me. If not for disappointment I would have had no shot at being reappointed into a higher perspective. One that helps me finally to feel a level of self-assurance that will translate to my own soul how perfectly capable I am of relying on myself and trusting myself to be able to protect myself.

I am well-studied, well-versed in all of the major world religions and spiritualities. Not as an enthusiast. But, a genuine learner. I have been careful to take a scholarly approach to all things unseen, all things faith related. I’ve always intuitively felt that the intangible held the keys for a humanity who can holistically understand the world and people around them. And through that I, we, could form a sure scaffolding for a reliable hope.

As I’ve researched the world’s major organized religions I have observed the following:

  1. Each one subscribes to a main, male deity who feels insulted if other gods are adored or seen as powerful or wise. Monotheism. But, how can monotheism be monotheism if the “the” acknowledges that there are other gods? Thou shalt have no other gods before Me, yes? Then it follows that there are in fact other entities, other gods by the admission of the deity who says it’s wrong for any other deity to receive adoration.
  2. Researching as far back into recorded history as is humanly possible we understand the earth’s oldest spirituality is Hinduism. Hinduism is polytheistic but still features male deities as the ultimate gods to whom everyone is an emanation of. Hinduism, however, does at least teach that these male gods have female counterparts, or female energetic expressions that should be equally worshipped since they understand that masculine energy is incomplete without the feminine.
  3. In mythology which served as a religious context for many in the ancient world we see that our collective, those before us, were immersed in a world of legends held to be truth or fact. The stories of Zeus, Calliope, Cupid, Achilles, Aphrodite, Venus are all so fantastical that those of us who cut our teeth in western thought and the allopathic treatment of the intangible almost lack the capacity to believe in the unconsciousness from which they all sprang to be dealt with by the conscious. Demigods? Absolutely real. But, wait that concept is also echoed by Jesus in the NT of the Bible when He boldly declared to the super religious of his day that….”you all are gods.” Incarnated wisdom. Incarnated goodness. Incarnated creators. This is what we think a good God should be. Wise, good, and tirelessly producing.

In the last several years I’ve found the answers to many of my nagging questions about life in quantum physics and the study of metaphysics. As someone who was raised in a southeast Tennessee Christian context I was acutely aware of the history of Christians balking at science. At one time, not too long ago Christians would kill any other human who thought the world was round. The church regarded this teaching as a point of major doctrine and anyone who opposed that thought was deemed a heretic and punished accordingly. I resolved as an adolescent to listen to science no matter what because to me, to walk in this world as a single-faceted human who only has the ability to disseminate ignorant rigidity concerning the intangible is an utter betrayal of the mystery that sent me to this planet. It would be a cosmic travesty and a coward’s journey for me.

As I sat with my observations I endeavored to honestly explore the implications of them. To the best of my ability I’ve tried to allow the observations all the latitude of God. Because if truth is found in God then God isn’t afraid of the truth. How can I discount one and exalt another simply because the one I choose to exalt tells me to do so? If you have only one dollar to your name and it is in your pocket and you are dehydrated are you going to spend that dollar on water or will you throw it in the trash because someone who seems more hydrated than you tells you to do it and do it with joy because joy is a virtue do you throw it away? In the same way I have chosen my wells and I hope you do too.

As I began to finally have a big picture developing I’ve been able to think through what the implications of this big picture mean to me and how I will allow or disallow them to shape my life and relationships and career and philosophy about life in general.

Every single belief we hold has within it an origination, an emanation, an elation and a declination. Concerning God I no longer have to understand origination because that is truly impossible to know. But, emanation is where I pick up the trail and follow out each belief to see what does this belief entail, how has it shaped the world and people around me, what did or will it look like when it reaches its fullest expression, and what will its declination look like, do I already see its declination, if so what does it look like and what are the implications of its decline. If it hasn’t happened yet but I can see it coming what are the implications of its decline for me personally, and what are the implications of its decline for my neighbor.

In short, everything, every deity, every belief, philosophy will at some point collapse back in to itself. It may resurrect or reassert itself again later or it may fall away completely and out of the reach of the annuls of history for someone like you or me to discover or know that it even existed. Oscillation and vibration is everything. Why? Because literally everything tangible and intangible is comprised of electromagnetic energy. My theology, my cat, the bird on my balcony, the poem in my heart that hasn’t been written down or recited for any ears. All oscillating and vibrating. The higher the vibration the healthier is that thing, person, animal, belief. If there is no vibration. No oscillation. Then there is death. There is no escaping that reality. Your body is made up of approximately one trillion cells. Every second your body is undergoing thousands of chemical processes to keep you alive. Thousands. Every second. Completely unaware your body is carrying out its assignment.

So, where does this position me? I am a Pisces. I’m a poet. I’m a philosopher. I’m an INFJ. I am a manifestor according to human design. I am naturally and now unapologetically a metaphorical and highly spiritual person. The disillusionment and disappointment over the years have once and finally threatened willingness to believe that if a higher power exists then it exists to protect me and cheer me on as I walk through life. I’ve spent so many days crying. So many days wishing I could gather together the most prominent spiritual leaders of every organized religion and major spirituality and screaming at them, “I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!! I SEE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. I KNOW WHY YOU BELIEVE THIS. BUT, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THERE SEEMS TO EXIST ONLY A CHASM BETWEEN BELIEF AND REALITY. BECAUSE ALL TOO OFTEN THE BEHAVIOR OF YOUR ADHERENTS DO NOT MATCH THE BELIEF YOU HOLD. PLEASE PROVE TO ME WITH ALL YOUR WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE AND BEHAVIOR THAT YOUR WAY IS IN FACT THE BEST OR ONLY WAY. BECAUSE AS I STACK YOUR BELEIF AND YOUR ORIGIN STORIES AND YOUR PHILOSOPHIES AND PRACTICES TO OTHERS, WHO SAY SIMILAR THINGS I DON’T SEE HOW IT’S ANY BETTER OR SO UNIQUE THAT IT INDICATES YOUR BELIEF IS THE MOST ORIGINAL AND OLDEST AND THEREFORE THE MOST CORRECT AND SURE.”

I’ve sat with my unbelief. And I’ve realized that if I sever the part of me that is nourished by mystery and metaphor then I will kill myself. I will kill who I am at my core. So, in light of that I have deduced that my healing will not happen if I become atheist in an effort to cope with my hardship and confusion. My most sure path of healing will not include the world of mystery and metaphor but it will be my unique voice. My wilderness cry in a world that has no interest in deep listening. My voice is truly in a desert. It is dry and desolate here and in order to inhabit it you have to have a special skillset that many do not naturally possess nor are they interested in possessing. It’s quiet. The silence alone has born witness to my thought. And, it has been during my contemplation that I have concluded that spirituality cannot and should not be separated from what we consider reality. The gods have always lived among us. They have all at some point or another lived in us in the form of mysteries. Some people shake their fists at mystery because to them mystery is misery. It is a psychological plague. It removes their control and grip on their own understanding of life and as we have seen with the crusades this causes violence because it activates the bruteness and lower vibrational emotions such as anger, hate, superiority, elitism, etc.

As I meditated earlier today I decided, “I will no longer try to separate myth and mystery from science. When I read stories about how demigods came into existence, or how monks and nuns and mystics have levitated during prolonged periods of meditations, or how a scientist used the power of his mind to heal his own broken bones….I understand that the truth lies in the mystery.” Fact doesn’t have to be separated from fiction. Remember the chasm I mentioned? That chasm is space. Space between the intangible and tangible. Space between belief and practiced reality. Space. Did you know that an atom is 99.999999999% empty space? And, if you removed the empty space from the atoms of all people, the entire human race could fit in the volume of a sugar cube? Empty space where there is no obligation to believe a certain doctrine or dogma, empty space where there is no demand for decision, empty space that is completely and infinitely neutral, empty space like this should be inherent and integrated into belief system in the world whether atheistic, polytheistic, or monotheistic.

I came away from my meditation with this specific thought in my mind, “the mysterium, the mythology, theology cannot and never will be reduced down to simple calculation that is explained away by science. Science is the twin flame of spirit.” Little did I know only an hour or so later as I continued my study about physics that I would come across a quote by Nassim Haramein, a unified physics researcher and scientist. He said, “Physics without philosophy is lost in mathematics. You have to have a fundamental concept to write the math that works. And that is called thought, philosophy.”

Today my footing is more sure not because of hard and fast and provable science but because I am intrinsically rooted in mystery. I am found in metaphor. And I await science to discover me.

Yours in thought,

Cozett

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King Mentality

These are truly the days of dreams and visions for me.  This is yet another middle of the night post.  Creativity seems to have saturated every cell of my body.  When I’m awake I’m stewing on manifesting my wildest dreams.  When I’m asleep I have vivid and highly metaphorical dreams.

And in the liminality of the 3 to 6 am time period I am inundated with vision.

So…what is Cozett contemplating at 4:19 am on a Tuesday morning?  The power and beauty of healthy masculinity. And how we can heal our world through the vehicle of it.

The words, “king mentality” kept rolling around in my thoughts so I began to ponder on what it could mean.  What the implications are of such a mentality, what it looks like, and how it can be extracted from centuries of toxic masculinity and off the rails patriarchy.  Naturally, “queen mentality” is the balancer of these mindsets and I will get to that soon.

But right now I have a grand idea.  There are so many books in me.   This concept is one of them.  I feel it’s crucial for our forward movement as a global society.  So with that said please pray that I will have the energy, patience and commitment to see this project through to publishing?  It’s important.  I promise.

All of humanity looks to its past examples of heralded leaders to influence its future course.  It had occurred to me that men who are alive in 2021 and reading this are in a unique and exceptional position at this point in the human race.  There are golden opportunities for men in 2021 that’s never been available to them until now.  Believe it or not if you are a masculine…I truly believe you are alive and reading this for a very special reason and purpose.  You were meant to see this post.  Your inner battle cry has been heard.  Your dreams are important.  Your positive impact can be immeasurable.  You are so needed. Needed but also free.  Free to reign like the king you are IF you recognize what’s being drawn out of the depths of who you are.  You’re being summoned to greatness.  Not like the greatness of the past.  Not like the greatness of Nebuchadnezzar, or Tutankhamun,  or King James, or John Wayne, etc.

No. 2020 served us all up something that will have lasting implications for many lifetimes after this blog is posted and my book is (hopefully) published.

There is not one human life on the earth that hasn’t been touched by the Covid-19 pandemic.  Whether you got sick, know someone who did, mourned someone who died from it…or never got sick, never knew anyone who did and never knew of anyone who died from it and was just irritated by the inconvenience and media coverage of it.  It has affected us all at some level. This should be a common ground for us all.  So don’t lose sight of the value of other humans who wave to you from the other end of the spectrum.

So where am I going with all of this?  This post is a kick-off of sorts for some research I’m going to undertake to interview men from every country of the world.  I am blessed to have an international readership and YouTube community.  I’m so grateful that nearly every single day I am having interesting, if brief, interactions with people from dozens of different countries, religions, and socio-economic contexts.  I talk with people who belong to tribes, live in villages, live in remote places, and have wildly different opinions and world views from my own.

And, I LOVE the tension that is held between my own values and opinions and those of the people who have such different views.  You really can enjoy the company and pressure that sometimes comes from such diversity.  The secret to the thrill and enjoyment of such company is that you each share 2 core values.  #1. Love of humanity.  #2. An open mind that isn’t hostile to being challenged.  In other words an ego that is in check.   If you share just these 2 things…you can enjoy the company of any human regardless of differences.  Talk about opening up new worlds right??  An incredibly rich opportunity to see the world through someone else’s eyes and hear the heartbeat of the earth with someone else’s ears.  To feel perceive and sense with a skin other than your own.  Is that not exciting??

On July 27th 2021 I am eager to discover who the kings of the 3rd millenium are.  They do not rule like their forefathers did.

If you’re familiar with the term, “divine feminine” you probably understand that after thousands of years of masculine rule we have and are shifting into the era of the divine feminine.  The pendulum has swung and the future is female.  It’s not just a nifty feminist soundbite.  It’s the natural progression of the course of humanity. I am stoked to be a woman pioneering in this age.  And because I recognize it I want to make sure I do it right so I can be the trailblazer that this wild and wonderful Universe has called me to be.

I want to be a divine feminine who helps set the stage for a better society for women and girls.  But in wisdom I perceive this can’t be done by “stripping men of their power and puking in the face of patriarchy.”  (As much as I have wanted to at times, admittedly.)  No.  The wise woman is a healer.  And healers are seers of sorts.  They can perceive wounds that others can’t.   They can see the wounds of people who don’t even know they carry them.  That is one thing that the masculine era taught us.  To disconnect from our pain.  Because pain is weakness and weakness is vulnerability and vulnerability does not perpetuate the human race. 

So how can I best serve women and girls and the feminine collective? I can do this by reaching out to the masculine collective and encourage them to come up higher.  I mean that’s one of the largest roots of societal problems around the world right?  The majority of ALL violence is committed by men.  Rapes, wars, murders, oppression, religious domination, originated and have been perpetuated largely by men.  All of those things are symptoms.   Not that men are bad.  Not that patriarchy is by nature toxic.  No.  Patriarchy is fatherhood.  Good fathers are indeed like shepherds.  Protectors.  Nurturers.  We’ve been given a bad example.  We have been living for thousands of centuries with toxic masculinity.  But it only exists because of wounds and to some degree the early drives to survive and escape dinosaurs and such.

So this is one of my plans to make the world a better place.  I want to hear from YOU. 

What in your mind is a king? 

What in your mind defines healthy masculinity?

Who have been positive masculine examples in your life?  Whether personally or perhaps some public figure.

As we dance into the feminine era and tap in to all the mysterious and esoteric wisdom, and healing it offers…I still wanna hear it…for the boy…(Song: Let’s hear it for the boy by Deniece Williams.)

#divinemasculine #divinefeminine #cozettcontemplates #divinefemininerising #patriarchy #toxicmasculinity #inspiration #blogger #writer #international #King #KingMentality #Queen #queenmentality

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Turkiye

It’s 3:51 am…and I just wanna be in Turkey.  I’m curled up under my weighted blanket and have my lamp on dim.  My eyes are fixed on the large world map I just put on my wall and my newly updated vision board.

My vision board is too personal to show.ย  But, if you could see it you would see pics of the Turkish flag ๏‡น๏‡ท and the bright blue water of the Mediterranean.ย 

In my mind’s eye I see me walking down the shore just before sunset.  Feeling the fine gravel and tiny rocks of the earthy beach.  I’m looking out over the ocean dreaming big about what’s on its way to me.

The work I want to do there.  It would be enough for me to sit alone on the beach or in some restaurant.  Just to feel the vibration of the culture.   The people.   Even if I don’t “know” them…I somehow know them.  The thrill of simple and honest observation of the buzz of life there is a source of endless curiosity for me.

The pitch and tone of their language is so beautiful.   It has a cadence that rings of innocence and purity.  The way they carry themselves, their mannerisms, gestures, facial expressions reveal a peculiar inner radiance.
The way they interact with their children is awe-inspiring.  There is a depth of uninhibited warmth and reverence for children there.  Even when there are public announcements being made it was never a generic, “ladies and gentlemen we will be landing soon…or ladies and genetleman please enjoy the entertainment….”  It was always, “Ladies and gentleman and DEAR children….”

Children are always included in their announcements.  As someone who suffered a traumatic childhood I LOVE that they feel it important to directly address little ones to keep them informed and make them feel safe and included. 

Right now I long to be in some city center there.  Perhaps sitting on a park bench across from a mosque ๏•Œ.  Taking in the opulent and unique and ancient architecture.  Observing their going in and coming out and tapping into their energy to see if I can feel if they had some profound spiritual experience.

As an American who has lived my entire life in the Bible belt but also acutely aware that my faith has its roots in Turkey…I have to say the Muslim call to prayer fills me with a deep sense of stillness that makes me feel immediately and instantly grounded and centered.  It never fails that I am covered in chills and struggle to keep tears in check when I hear it.  The sound overwhelms me and makes me feel so small.  So…held by the large unseen force I know as God.  I feel enveloped and absorbed into something bigger than myself.  Something mysterious.  Something grander than my own my aspirations. 

I can feel the robust and rolling vibrato on my skin.  I feel it within as well.  At my core.   The resonance seems to shift things inside me. 

I don’t know what the future holds for me there.  I just know that when my feet touched the earth there I felt like I was at home and was going to be there many more times.  I felt a sense of purpose.  Dignity.  Ambition.  Hope. Inspiration.  I felt these things more deeply than I ever have.  I felt truly alive.

The ripple effect is proving to be a lasting one.  My toes are still painted with the Turkish flag as my pedicure is still good.  Soon it will fade.  But for now everytime I’ve looked at my feet since I’ve been home I get this metaphorical lesson that my feet….belong on Turkish ground. 

I won’t be happy until I can feel the earth and sand that is Turkish land sifting between my toes and leaving grit around my nail beds. It’s not enough for me to be some happy tourist.  I have a work to be done there.  I don’t know what it is. I just know it calls to me day and night.  I see it in my dreams and wake up thinking I’m still there only to look out my window and see that I’m still in my little healing haven on a Red Bank cul-de-sac. I love Red Bank.  I love Tennessee.  I love the beauty of the south here.  It’s my springboard and contrast that has led me to pursue and embrace some of my wildest dreams.

From Tennessee to Turkey…who’d have thought?  I think my soul always knew though.  And not just Turkey but the continents it graces.  It is not just a bridge between two continents for me.  But, a bridge between worlds.  A bridge between realms.  A passage between 3D and 5D.  A unique trail marked just for me. Harrowing and heartening all at the same time.  Beautiful and bittersweet as it’s a line of demarcation marking the moment of one of the greatest transformations of my life.  A chaotic catalyst that will never allow me to go back to the way things were.  I can never be the same woman I was before I left.  Coming back onto US soil I stepped out into the humidity of a southern night on the 4th of July and realized I was having my own personal independence day of sorts. I’d broken free from the tyranny of trauma.  I’d emancipated myself.  I stepped into the woman I always hoped I’d become.  One who had traveled alone and against the odds.  There was literally NOTHING in my reality that could have indicated I could successfully pull that trip off.  There was plenty of uncertainty and unknowns and fear based illusions that could have held me back.

But I chose to jump into the chasm.ย  I assaulted the abyss of aberration.ย ย  I dove into the hands of the cosmos and tasked the universe to catch me before I hit bottom or came to a tragic end.ย  And it did just that.

It’s like I experienced zero gravity after my jump.  I never went down.  Only up.  It was disorienting because suddenly reality wasn’t playing by the rules.   Things were turning out far better than I could have dreamed.  Where I should have fallen I rose.  Where I should have stumbled I lifted off the ground and flew.  Where I should have ran…I paused and allowed myself to have all the overwhelming sensory experiences that would have ordinarily put me in bed for a week to recover from.

It was like time stood still.  Like I had cracked the code to the matrix.   I began bending my reality and smithing it.  In my hand a hammer and at my feet an anvil.  In between was my destiny with lots of heat and fire.  The force of my blows shaping it intentionally.  Shaping me and my own humanity.  My spirit.   My essence.  With skillful tongs I kept repositioning until all sides had received the proper amount of blows.  And then what emerged from the fire and all the beating took me aback.  What I witnessed forever changed the way I perceive myself.

Turkey, I promise I’ll be back.  I promise I will dedicate some of the best of my life’s energy to exploring you.  It feels as though we’re both excited about that.

Cheers to the glory that is you.

Love,
Cozett

#turkiye #turkey #antalya #istanbul #cozettcontemplates #lifecoach #inspiration #blogger #redbanktn #tennessee #borderless #travelblogger #traveltheworld

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Joyful Abandon and the Face of Wisdom: The Tao Te Ching and Children Playing

I’m currently lying in the grass reading the Tao Te Ching and occasionally glancing at children play and it is giving me life. The subtle wisdom of the Tao Te Ching coupled with kids playing in the backdrop…the implications of this scenario isn’t lost on me. It’s so interesting watching them sled the hill.ย  Some are natural daredevils and have no fear.ย They run and jump onto their cardboard get up speed then fall off and tumble the rest of the way down the hill. With all the bumps, mud, grass and scraped elbows they laugh with total abandon.

Others are afraid of gaining too much speed.  They freeze up and the sled stops. Or, they won’t kick quite hard enough to build momentum.  They look all around them estimating how close other kids are to make sure they don’t get collide.  Often they will sit still on the sled for several minutes afraid to launch.

Some wanna be daredevils but are overthinking their short sled ride. They try out dozens of different angles and sections of the hill.  They experiment with which end of their cardboard will glide best.  They can’t seem to find just the perfect combination of slope, angle, and projected landing point.  One will literally stop his ride to pick up the cardboards around him that other kids left behind.   He didn’t focus on his sled ride but allowed it to be interrupted by what others left lying behind.

Can I just chime in here and show my solidarity with the overthinkers?  I see you.  The ride ahead looks amazing.  But, it’s those “what ifs” that hold us back.  In reality the ride is very short and in the long term it doesn’t really matter how you tackle the ride just that you DO tackle the ride!  See where I’m going with this?

If I had a dollar for everytime I waged war with my what ifs, I would be a wealthy woman.  I come from a family of engineers and it’s in my blood to engineer out every possible negative scenario before embarking on any adventure.

But, I can honestly say that because I know this about myself I always push ahead. I would rather do it and fail than deal with the longing unfulfilled due to fear.

So, while I am the overthinker of my peer group I still find myself with some jewels of stories that others could never imagine. I have adventure stories that I will take to my grave ๐Ÿ˜. Where the unimaginable is…is where I long to be…and have been.

In short I wanna look back at my life as the kid who deep down was filled with fear but did it anyway.

Now. I gotta tell you the funny reactions from the adults/guardians of these kids. Tell me if you can find yourself in any of them??

Dad 1: (Flabbergasted)  “you’re so dirty when we get home I’m just gonna beat you with a broom.”

Mom 1: (The tough parent) “oh c’mon now you said, “ouch” before you even hit the ground.

Mom 2:  (I give up mode) “when we get home just stand in the driveway and we will hose you off”

Which kid are you? Which guardian are you?

In whichever ones you find yourself I hope that you find your awe in the sense of adventure and the loving willingness that says, “yeah you got really dirty. But I’d clean you up a thousand times if it means you get to experience joyful abandon.”

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We Are All A Walking Eclipse

You…yes you.  And I.  As long as we are in this body we will be both darkness and light.  The intensity of the darkness and light will fluctuate in intensity as we journey.  That is because none of us are static.  We are not fixed beings.

I don’t care how much work Jesus does in you.  I don’t care how much inner work you do.  How much space you hold.  How many vices you conquer.   You will NOT take your last breath in a state of 100% virtue.

Since that’s the case…why are we so freaking uncomfortable when we see both darkness and light in another person?

I am convinced if we are ever going to attain the pinnacle of what is possible for existence in a flesh suit…then we have to embrace non-dualism and surrender any inclinations we may have in whipping morality or high ideals into the people around us.

Morality, love, virtue…these are things that laws cannot create.

Why do I want to be a good person?  It’s not because of my fear of being locked up or penalized if I don’t meet someone else’s expectations and measure up to their ideals.

It’s because I am inspired by the behavior of other good people.  Not because there is a cop, a preacher, a sheikh, a Buddha or some other moral “authority” looming large over me.

When I see good and it’s impact…it’s the example not the threat that provokes me to aspire to do and be better.

I promise you this. Your light makes people jealous.  Your darkness makes people want to capitalize on your weakness so that they appear more blameless.

Either way you go….you are going to make someone uncomfortable.   You are going to make someone mad.  You are going to encounter jealousy.

And, when you are comfortable letting other people see….really really see your nature that is both dark and light it will either push them out of your life because they haven’t grown to a point they are able to accommodate the grandness and the mystery that is you OR it will draw them into a place where they can FINALLY love and accept themselves and get unstuck in life.

The greatest gift we can give someone else is love.  And, love is so much more expansive than we give it credit for. 

I heard a quote recently from Hamlet.  “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

None of us have a monopoly on the understanding of the profundity and full implication of love.

Love is an ever unfolding multiverse in and of itself.  The bounds of it can’t be found.  So why do we want to bind people to what we should acknowledge is a limited and flawed philosophy of love?

I am pro human.  I love and embrace your humanity. It is no threat to me.  I celebrate the nuanced picture I am able to see of you.   We all have non-congruent qualities.  For many people….recognizing non-congruent qualities in another person often is taken as a red flag.  But, the majority of the time there is no reason for that.  It is a survival instinct.  It is a base instinct.

All my life I have felt like someone on the outside of life looking in at everyone else.  I have tons of non-congruent qualities.  Sometimes that bothers me (particularly if I’ve spent any time around people who are naturally critical and easily offended.)  Other times these qualities are a comfort for me, things that amuse me about myself that puts a sparkle in my eyes because I find myself so funny for holding so much darkness and light at the same time.

I am so tired of living life on the auto pilot that is political correctness.  I am over living my life in fawn mode with a false sense of guilt over religious expectations.  I will never be completely virtuous.  And, you won’t either. 

I will continue to live my life inspired and called by goodness rather than in mindless reaction to fear of chastisement.   There is no fear in love right? 

My greatest desire in life is to empower and encourage people to be who they are authentically without fear of some sort of being exiled for being who they are.  Got darkness?  Great!! Me too!!  Got light??  Awesome!! Shine with me??  Let’s prove to the world that we are inherently both and that IS inherently ok.

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A Less Verbose Life: A Meditation On Liminality

This week I will be welcoming a new little nephew into my life.  We are on baby watch for my youngest brother’s first born.  The cycles of life never cease to fascinate me.

Liminality.   No matter where we are at in life one thing is constant and that is that we all are in liminal space.   We are always on a threshold of some kind of transition.

I look around me and at once feel an awe-inspiring joy at the marvel of new life and a haunting sadness at the ever deepening reality that this life is fleeting and I will soon enough return to dust.  All at once I feel this.

I find myself feeling so torn these days.  An obligation to optimism and a dark sense of comfort in knowing that at the end of my life all I ever was….was animated meat.  My spirit, my essence the soul of who I am gropes to find it’s most accurate and fulfilling means of expression in this skin I’m in.   I will never be fully understood nor accurately perceived.  And, neither will you.  We each come at life with fragmented perspective at best.   In spite of all the honing, discerning, street smarts and psychology of our day we aren’t omniscient.  That’s probably not surprising but it is disappointing.  This is where adventure comes in.  This is one of the few points of human development that sets us apart from the animal kingdom.

Adventure.  It is ontologically liminal.  Matrices of thresholds if you will.  All across the planet people are diving into one unknown from another.  Showing up in life, departing in death, savoring the gamut of emotion we each have in varying proportion with every step in between the two spaces (life and death).

We really do exist on a continuum.  Not one of us is static.  Yet in the frenzy of what we know as life we each walk around with an internal, old-school Polaroid.  Every person we encounter, whether familiar or unfamiliar, our brains get busy taking series of snapshots of them in order to put together as clear a picture as we can of that person.  And guess what?  The pictures we piece together are largely based on our subconscious and involuntary survival reflexes.  These reflexes, these subconscious instincts that operate just below the surface of our awareness drive us, filter for us, and dictate everything we do and think without us having to “think.”

Most of the information we take in from conversations with friends to what we see on the news is processed just below the surface of our awareness and then projected back into our reality in the form of opinions, values, and motivations.

This is why it has become so important to me to familiarize myself with quantum physics, metaphysics, and learning about human vibrations.

You see before there was words, before there was written language…there was symbols and vibration.  These things are part of our foundation as humans.  They are the most ancient and the original forms of communication.

I am a poet.  A true word nerd.  One of my favorite books of all time is….a thesaurus. But lately I find myself with a deep ache to forsake all forms of known language and connect with the world around me via vibration only.  I am a poet.  But this life has become so verbose.  And that’s exhausting.  The nature of language is such that it has an innate poverty.  That is an unchangeable fate for language I’m afraid.   And as someone word oriented that pains me, it frightens me but it also stirs a sense of adventure.  An eager curiosity to imagine what life would be like with no words. 

I think about lions.  I am endlessly fascinated with big cats.  I see them lying and conserving energy out on some arrid terrain while unfamiliar animals and other big cats move through their territory.   I see them yawn and stretch.  And that to me indicates relaxation.   But many animal experts say this is also a sign of defense and aggression.  A warning to other big cats that they’re not afraid to engage them if they feel threatened.   These cues are understood vibrationally.   Finely honed instincts that pick up on the subtlety of the surrounding frequencies.

I have talked before about my people pleasing tendencies.  I am realizing this was a pattern set in motion for me by multiple traumas throughout my life.  I grew up saturated in terror.  And it was such a normal part of my everyday life I learned how to structure my behavior in a way that would keep me as safe as possible from the chaos around me.

Those vibrations in my developmental years shaped the flow of my behavior in the same way water carves out canyons.  Sometimes violent bursts of water overtake natural boundaries and in a flash the course of a river is changed forever.   Other times it’s just the trickling persistence that causes a gentle erosion. 

And this is where I find myself.  With authenticity and vulnerability as my guiding principles and undercurrents of tumult that is always tumbling and shaping me.

I long for cohesion.  Like you I have many layers.  And nearly all of them (that I am conscious of) are non-congruent to each other.  I’m an enigma.  Humans will forever be mysterious.  Who you are can never be fully expressed or accurately perceived in just one lifetime.  The best psychoanalysts of our time will only ever get their toes wet when it comes to wading in the waters of you.

And so here we are.   In this liminal space.  This threshold.  The cusp of adventure.

I want to do my next adventures differently.   I want to come into them differently. And, I want to do that from a space of as few words as possible.

I want to jump because I’m ready to jump.  Not because of how jumping is explained to me or how I’ve talked myself into it.  I want to leap into my next season from a heart-centered, vibrationally sensitive space. 

I want to look back knowing I lived my life without feeling the need to explain it.

As I prepare to welcome this new life, this new little nephew I am older than when the first baby was born that made me an aunt.  In this season of my life this birth feels like a herald to me.  A beckoning to come meet the spirit of life at the table of a sovereignty that can never be articulated. Only observed.  Perceived.  Then tucked away as unspoken understanding.  An unspoken understanding that unfolds like the slow and unrelenting discovery of the macrocosm.

Less words from me.  That feels most fitting.  It feels most freeing.

Cheers to liminality.

Cozett

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A True Catalyst

99% of who you are as a person cannot be touched, smelled, tasted, heard or seen.

Sure, we have this outer shell with fleshy inner trappings.

But, “who”….you are emanates from your consciousness.

We must take care of our earth suits.  Its imperative if we are to live out quality consciousness.

But….I submit the inner work is weightier than the body. (See what I did there?) Tee hee hee.

And, the inner work….and what you produce on the inside directly impacts how your body is able to express your consciousness.

I am all the more determined to keep diving and evolving, diving and evolving.   Free diving into the quarry of my inner world, mining it and then seeing what comes loose and rises to the surface of my conscious awareness.

Interesting thing about quarries, we know they are pits that are dug out and mined and when they become abandoned they will usually fill with water.  Limestone quarries produce these oceanic colored pools that are to me, irresistible to dive in and swim. 

And that’s what most of us are like, right??  Abandoned quarries.  Filled with beautiful pools that if we could see we would be so eager to dive into and find refreshing.

I want to encourage you this week to intentionally reflect on these questions:

1.  What would it feel like to take a deep dive inside myself thru sitting quietly for 15 mintues or so and see what comes up?

There will be mind chatter, yes.  But, our brains have a great deal of plasticity and can be trained to “sit and stay.”  With practice of course.

2.  Is there untapped potential within me that I don’t know about it?

3.  What would it feel like if I made some self-discoveries that could change the course of my life for the better?  Or enhance what I already enjoy?

My friends.  There is more!  99% more!!  Please don’t rob yourself by neglecting the practice of meditation and quietness for herein lies a true catalyst.

If you would like some guidance with meditation or would like to join me in meditating let me know!

If you have stories about how meditation has profoundly altered the course and enhanced the quality of your life please share it with me!

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