Tag: Wise woman

Spiritual Teaching

“The spiritual teacher must know every inch of the way, every danger and pitfall, and not from books or maps or hearsay.  The teacher must have traveled it themself, from the foothills to the highest peaks.  And must have managed to get back down again, to be able to relate with students with humanity and compassion.  Not everyone who attains Self-realization can make a reliable guide.”. Eknath Easwaran

I feel like the experience that has been my life has been one of psychological and spiritual cartography.  Every detour felt like a travesty. But, there is no escaping blazing the trails where others haven’t yet trod.  And so, the feeling of travesty dissolves into its unmasked form… leadership.

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No Water For The Wolves

Lying in the silence. All is black around me save my phone and wifi light. And all I can think about is how my mother’s death is stirring in me an even greater fire and resolve to be living light. I want my light to shine into the cosmos and to be a home to every human without exception.

I want to be….wide, long, deep, tall, ever expanding light, warmth, and peace and safety.

I want my table to extend into the nations.

Where there is light people feel seen, where there is light there is clarity, there is life, there is strength, and hope.

In a world filled with humans who despise what they don’t get, fear what they can’t understand, and murder either with their thoughts or hands those who are divergent…..I want to be different.

Love is beautiful anarchy

Light is the epitome of rebellion against darkened understanding

Brilliant bright light so the world can see
Recklessly loving us all into anarchy

While the planet is threshed wheat from tare
I’ll gather and glean to me those in despair

It is enough for those standing accepted in the sun
To carry the status of a chosen one

I’ll cast my lot with the vagabond parade
I vomit at the charity of pretentious charade

Babylon, Babylon, can’t you see she’s imploding?
Or are your ears deafened from your own gloating?

Superiority, elitism, white washed graves
Their throats lie open like wilderness caves

But they won’t catch me or mine
Unbeknownst to them we are made of brine

And, I refuse to give them water…

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Cozett Contemplates: Your Write To Heal…

Cozett Contemplates writing to heal trauma…

For trauma survivors it’s hard to feel like you can ever again be fully safe. High-alert is a constant state of being. And, appearing relaxed and “normal” becomes a survival skill.

This has been one of my most honed life skills. I learned early on that to show disquiet…distress…or to speak out…would rock the boat. The fact is, is that when people become uncomfortable…things slow down as they try figure out:

1. What’s wrong with the person who’s upset?
2. How do I feel about what I’m hearing and seeing from this traumatized person?
3. Do I believe what I’m being told by this person?
4. How can I help in ways that won’t disrupt my own life?
5. Should I reach out to others to aid me if I help this person?
6. Are there problems too much for me and should I just keep moving and trust someone else will help?

These are just a few of the processes people sort through when thinking about how to help the traumatized.

As you can see not only are trauma survivors sorting through a lot of emotions and questions but so are those with whom we open to.

Because of all those processes and the time and energy it takes I decided as a child that I wouldn’t seek help. I couldn’t waste energy getting rejected over and over by people who didn’t have the capacity to hold space for me. I needed that energy to keep moving. Because life doesn’t stop. Even for the wounded.

As I’ve sojourned into middle-age and resolved to become more authentic, unapologetic, shameless, proactive, and courageous….I face the challenge that vulnerability brings.

Vulnerability, even for non-traumatized individuals is hard. But, as someone who has known what it is to be stripped bare of any ability to trust and feel safe it is especially…hard. I know I’m not alone with this?

This is the original reason I began to write to begin with. It was never because I thought I was good at it, or because it was a hobby for my free time. It was never because I had writing peers or was part of a book club or even a poetry lover! If you know my poetic soul that may seem surprising. 😆

I began to write because there weren’t enough tears. I couldn’t cry enough to even come close to releasing and processing all I’d been through and was going through.

I had so much pent up pain and agony that I needed the entirety of my being to release and cry as much as I did it just wasn’t cleansing me.

So I took to my keyboard. While hot tears streaked my face the fire of my words set ablaze my laptop and phone screens.

I held nothing back. There was no person who could hold space for me….so I created my own space. Private. Free from scrutiny. And it was as wide and as long and as endless as my pain.

My writing space could hold everything. And therefore it could hold me.

I want to encourage you today, if you’re a trauma survivor to know that even when humans can’t hold space for you…that there is a wide open and endless space available to you that can be curated by and for you.

Maybe you’re not looking to publish but you would like to heal? And you’d like to not do that alone?

I’m offering spaces for you. If you’d like to write to heal…alongside me….I’d be honored to hold, share and lead that space.

Reach out to me if this sounds like something your soul is calling for and together we will create the space for you to be held, seen, understood.

I love you. I really do.

Cozett Dunn

#cozettcontemplates #traumasurvivor #writingtherapy #lifecoach #author #healer #traumahealing #traumarecovery #traumainformed #mentalhealthmatters

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The Haunting Resonance Of The Grit: Grungy Motels And Why I Can’t Resist Them

Traveling is one of my greatest passions. There has yet to be a greater rush for me that confirms I am indeed alive.

Travel challenges me. It is an epic (and I mean this in the literal sense of the word) vehicle for shadow work, soul-searching, and, self-discovery. The profundity I encounter is always trajectory shifting. Mind-blowing. Salvific. Paradigm shattering. And, oh soooooo endearingly sweet.

I do mostly solo travel, and if there is 1 regret I have from this, it is that I have these most profound moments alone. I live my life nearly entirely unwitnessed. And while my life isn’t opulent (yet), it is worthy of being witnessed. I’ve transformed and moved through some pretty awe-inspiring shit. I want so much for someone to see it with me. See….me with me. See the grit and feel it with me so that I can tell my stories about the black grainy gravel that made its home beneath my fingernails for a while.

I want to share how and why I find such a haunting and somewhat macabre peace when I stay in a dirty, shady motel. For one thing….the energetic imprints in these types of motels are downloaded onto my psyche like an old school record and needle. By feeling the grooves, I hear the song. It’s like preternatural braille. The imprints tell me their stories without words or any sort of audio. I seem to somehow “know” and “feel with” the room I stay in and the lobby I occasionally venture into.

Would I prefer to be in an all-inclusive 5-star resort?? You betcha. But I don’t yet feel a resonance with that atmosphere. I suppose that’s because I’ve always fluctuated between lower middle class and poverty. But, for the sake of adventure, I hope that will soon change so I can know what it feels like to resonate with the opulence and unadulterated relaxation that I actually need.

At any rate, I wanted to share a picture of where I am tonight. March 13th, 2023, at 12:42 am. I am at the Super 8 Wyndham motel in College Park, GA. Hartsfield-Jackson is adjacent. And I have been plane spotting while here. That is another rush for me. I can’t get enough of lift-offs. I find resonance in them as well. More on that some other time.

But this motel….it’s rough, hahaha. I saw a 10 year old boy across the street at Food Mart dealing drugs. I have just begun writing this post after calling on the angels for him. But, 10 years old. Wow. I was around drugs but thankfully wasn’t doing or dealing them at that age. There’s always someone who’s had it worse. Perspective.

I can’t resist these places because when I walk in and I see how the rooms are half dilapidated and should be condemned but it also looks like some upgrades have begun….it is my mirror. Half-dilapidated yet under construction. Hints of mildew in rusted showers. Carpet that smells like mango perfume but makes the bottom of your feet look like you’ve stepped in soot. A king sized bed wrapped in so many cases and sheets with decent pillows yet when you lie in it you find yourself rolling to one side because it has some weird hump in the middle that isn’t visible but can be felt once you’re stretched across it.

But, the mirror looks new. The mini fridge works. And the night stands look new. In the words of William, The Worm, in the movie, “Labyrinth,” “Oh,well. Close enough.” It is in that spirit I exhale in the darkness that now surrounds me knowing that although I’m in a strange and gritty place, I’m also in a place that feels familiar. And, even though this motel gets 2 stars with one review stating a guest left because as they were checking they encountered an Atlanta Homicide team and on their way back to their car walked past a coroner vehicle, there is strangely still comfort in familiarity. An understanding. And of course…this unwitnessed moment that no one will ever see….but me.

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The Intrigue Of Our Ignorance

Self-aware
Unconscious upheavals

I repose in my hermit’s lair
Wondering at the evils

I have only questions and sincere curiosity
Pearls before swine is fake luminosity

Biologically pathological
Hypnotically illogical

The passers-by on the street both intrigue me and concern me.

Ontologically astrological
Neurologically cosmological

What do our psyches share?
Your sinister glare driven by need
My awkward stare trying to get a read

Do I even belong here?  I think not.
If that were so I’d cast my lot

But as it is and as it’s always been
I live on the outside looking in

As it was and as it is now
I live from the inside out as evidenced by my furrowed brow

I don’t understand.  I really don’t.  But, let me heap some cognitive dissonance upon these sentiments.  There there.  All better now.

Who does? You may ask.  As we pass around the delusion flask.

None of its real is it?  “Of course it is!” You laugh.  As our teacher talks backwards drawing a nursery rhyme graph.

I sit and quietly think, “what is one to make of all this??”  It’s like living in the film, “Rabbits, or The Matrix, or the old school “Clash of the Titans.”

We really are going there?  Our continuum has found its chiasm.  And we are plunging into irony.  Each side thinking of the other, “the joke is on you.”

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Cozett Contemplates The Undreamed

Cozett Contemplates the undreamed…

As far back as I can remember self-inquiry has been one of the most powerful trailblazing tools I’ve ever utilized.

Everyday we move through our thought lives and external routines by our subconscious assessment of a predictable future & a well-rehearsed past.

Maybe we’ve been on our jobs 15 years and in the back of our mind we know we will get the opportunity to retire soon. Or, perhaps we have always been unlucky in love and based on our previous patterns it looks only logical that our future will likely not include the partner we want.

Now, let’s talk about how we dare to dream…anyway.

In spite of our predictable future and the likelihoods that seem will inevitably play out as our path unfolds it is only human nature to hope for better. To dream for more. To want more even if it doesn’t seem that “more” can happen for us.

My question to myself today…and to you…is “what have I not dreamed of yet?”

If you have a vision board or practice affirmations then you likely have at least a vague picture of what your ultimate desires are.

But, what about exploring the “undreamed?”

Here I’ll talk about what I’m including into the big picture of what I know myself to be gravitating toward.

First, I have to acknowledge Margo Holder for the words of not just wisdom but adventure that she has always said to me when I’ve catastrophized about my life. Those words, “anything can happen.” The very essence of this concept is rooted in the quantum field of endless potential. Meaning it is entirely scientifically, mentally, emotionally, and realistically appropriate to BELIEVE THE BEST
& to open wide your nervous system to the exhilaration that can only be found in the willingness to indulge in adventure.

Things I’ve dreamed of:

1. Financial security that enables me to create multiple humanitarian organizations.

2. Wealth without work

3. Love without effort

4. Travel without restraint or restriction

I put absolutely NO cap on how outrageously above and beyond these particular things can be fulfilled. Multiple humanitarian organizations?? That’s likely going to be too small in comparison as to how that dream actually comes true.

I have become granular in my focus on how I want my life to look going forward.

But, what have I not dreamed of yet? What part of the human spectrum has my imagination not wandered yet?

It is the undreamed that I’m looking for today. The undreamed is ultimate human potential.

Just the thought of that inspires me. Just the thought of the undreamed…stirs up and engages my emotions. Emotions are the perfect catalyst. Emotions are the most raw, organic manifestation tools humanity posseses.

By the end of the day today I will have a list of new, fresh dreams I’ve not thought of yet. By the end of the day I will have expanded my vision. By the end of this day I will be gravitating toward “a new newness.” I will be moving into a more exotic, happier experience.

What about you? Of course you know what your predictable future is. Of course you know overall what you hope for your life.

But, tell me…what have you NOT dreamed of yet?

I really want to know.

Yours in the dreamscape,
Cozett Dunn

#cozettcontemplates #whatdreamsmaycome #dream #dreamitintoexistence #quantumfield #humanpotential #dreambigger #explore #travel #love

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Cozett Contemplates: Divergence

My journey is sacred. My path is unique.

Cozett Contemplates divergence…

At the end of 2022 I made a conscious decision. An agreement with the future Cozett. The woman I wish to reflect on from my death bed.

I decided that I would no longer make any decisions based on haste. I would make no decisions that would lead me away from my own happiness. Not even for a day. I’ve spent too many days (nearly 44 years worth of days) basing all I do on pouring my life’s essence into the happiness of others so that I wouldn’t incur any discomfort….from them being uncomfortable. There is no life in that. It’s been a journey of fleeing. Running from one person to the next trying to put smiles on faces, make people feel supported, and most of all…getting their approval. Because their approval would mean my survival.

At nearly 44 years of age, the wisdom of middle-age has finally graced my understanding. And, she has shown me that to live this way, is to live in a constant state of emotional travesty. My whole life, up until this point, has been like a coup. A coup staged by my shadow self. My shadow, comprised of fear, alienation, feelings of abandonment and rejection, and pessimism. I was overthrowing my own power because I felt that my power….was weak. Weak in comparison to everyone around me. So weak that I felt it necessary to replace my personal power in hopes of receiving the security of power outside myself. Security, protection, provision. All done through the avenue of people pleasing. I got so bad with it that I was people-pleasing dangerous and ill-intentioned people. My conscience would scream, “you know they are bad news!! No inspiration or motivation or money or love you can give them will help them and they will in turn HARM YOU, COZETT!!” But…I did it anyway. I did it because I had zero belief in myself and that I could ever offer anything of worth to the world that would both ensure my security and affect meaningful change for humanity.

Even as I type this, the articulation of it all, is blowing my mind. Honestly, it takes a heck of a lot of self-awareness to assess oneself so objectively. And, it also takes a lot of willingness to demonstrate the courage to know oneself this deeply. The deep is a scary place. There’s not much light. You have to deal with a lot of shadows which means you have to fine tune your soul to sift through illusion and not spook so easily when it comes to pulling back the curtains of your own psyche to see what’s there.

I no longer see my life as a journey that “happens TO me” but rather I’ve positioned myself, through shadow work so that I can channel my energy in a way where MY life….”happens THROUGH me.”

There are no detours in the Divine. The divine you. When life happens “to” you, your whole path can be nothing but a detour. You can never follow out what your heart desires because you are too busy fulfilling the desires of others so you have to make U-turns, take toll roads, and bloody your feet by paths filled with briars, and crag. Ultimately, when you live for others, you are intentionally choosing and agreeing to take the long way to arrive at your own destiny. You’re telling your soul that it doesn’t carry the value or worth of taking the straight path, the destined path, the one that actually calls to you.

I can’t believe I have waited this long. Yet, I don’t feel bogged down with regret. I know that I couldn’t have seen then what I now see. I wasn’t capable. The emotional travesty that I intentionally chose had me blinded. And, I also think that to some degree I considered myself young enough to keep putting off my heart’s desires because I had, “time.” This is one of the great gifts of mid-life. The wake-up call. A conscious recognition that in spite of how well you take care of your body and mind…this will all come to an end. I want my end to be in health, in love, in passion, in the sobriety that is informed from severe suffering. A woman wide awake. A woman who maintained the magic of being a little girl in spite of her crucible. Sagic wisdom now finds its expression in me physically. In action. In my decisions. In my voice. In the crow’s feet forming around my eyes and in the small furrow of my brow. Plowed by intense, prolonged consternation and contemplation on why I am the way I am, and why the world around me is the way it is.

My prayer for everyone who reads this, is that you will learn from my lessons. If you are younger than me…please don’t put off following your happiness and being true to yourself. Be authentically you regardless of any perceived consequences of that. If you are my age or older…I give you the same advice. It is true that maturity and wisdom are not necessarily correlated with age.

Your journey…is sacred. And, your path is unique. Don’t you long for people to experience you as you really are? I encourage you to diverge. I encourage you to emerge. Diverge from the paths that people have forced you onto. And, you will emerge….as who you really are.

#cozettcontemplates #Divergence #newyear2023 #TimeToRise #Authenticity #shadowwork #middleagedwoman #wisdomoftheday #inspiration #motivation #motivationmonday

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